Chapter 7

I was in the kitchen. I was alone. I was breathing, I was able to feel my heart beat in my chest. I was alive. I walked around the kitchen and looked at the fridge, there used to be a magnet of us at Disney World but it was no longer there. I accidentally bumped in the island and a cup that had been left out fell to the floor. The noise it made when it shattered was loud and I stepped away shocked by the sound. Several lights were turned on and I realized my eyes had been adjusted to the darkness of the kitchen.

"Who's there?" my mom asked. She had a flash light which she shined in my face. I shielded my eyes then she dropped it. It clattered to the floor, the sound making me jump.

"Estelle?" she asked.

"Mother," I said.

"Is it really you?" she asked coming up to me. She pressed her hand against my cheek.

"Y- yeah it's me," I said forgetting what she felt like. She let out a cry and hugged me. Piper and Phoebe found their way downstairs. Phoebe let out a gasp as she saw me then rushed to hug me. She ended up picking me off my feet. Piper then gave me a hug. They both looked at my mom who had a huge smiled across her face.

"How are you back?" she asked, "Not like it matters..."

"I was told that you were going to give up your magic," I said seriously, "If I hadn't of returned-"

"I wasn't sure I was going to bind my magic," my mom said.

"You would have if we hadn't of stopped you," Phoebe said her voice sour, "The triquetra has been broken for nearly a month Prue. At least now we have a chance to put it back together." My mom opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her.

"How long was I dead?" I asked.

"It's September," Piper said, "Four months tomorrow actually. Are you hungry or anything? I can whip something up." My death had torn this family apart. Would being back really change anything? Would my mom stay a witch? Would they vanquish the Source? Would coming back be worth it?

"You didn't have to give up eating did you?" Phoebe asked bringing my thoughts back to the situation at hand.

"What?" my mom asked. Then I listened to my mom argue with her sisters about them knowing I might come back. The Elders didn't tell the sisters what I'd have to give up but that it was my choice. I hadn't thought about what I was going to tell them. How could I tell them I was human when demons were always around? If I told them then my mom would give her magic up for sure. She couldn't see that it was a gift and not a curse. What was I going to tell them?

I felt lightened all of a sudden and clutched the edge of the counter. They warned me this would happen. Since I wasn't used to a living body, in a sense, I might become ill. Nothing serious, nothing fatal but enough so that I would likely be queasy and unsettled. Because my mom was so busy arguing with Phoebe, Piper was the one to notice and she helped sit me down at the table. She got me a glass of water and glared at her sisters.

"It's okay," I said to my aunt before she said anything, "Just a side affect." My mom heard the last part and spun to look at me.

"What do you mean side affect?" I explained to her what the Elders had told me before I returned to the 'realm of the living' as Margaret referred to it as. I told her the side affects: nausea, dizziness, fever, and exhaustion. Phoebe asked what I had given up. She asked if I was not to return to Camelot.

"Why would I return to Camelot?" I asked coming up with what I had sacrificed.

"Because that's your destiny," she said confused, "It's why you were sent here."

"I was sent here? Oh," I said, "I gave up memories- memories of- of... Camelot I suppose. I was given new memories- ah no, a new history but it's blank. The Elders told me..."

"You gave up going back for this?"

"The Source would have killed everyone if you gave up your magic. I'm really tired, I'm going to my room." I left her without letting her to take in what I had just said. That though she was part of the reason to why I came back she wasn't the soul reason. Yes I missed her but I came back for the greater good. I came back because if I hadn't my family and friends here would have ended up dead as would have thousands of others.

My room was exactly how I left it, the bags of my items had been tossed carelessly by me when it was decided I couldn't leave. Now I really couldn't. I didn't have any magic, I was completely mortal. I sat on my bed and pulled two sketches that was in my pocket. My birth father had given them to me. He had spent a long time drawing pictures of my birth mother. I was surprised that he had them, not thinking you could take possessions with you to your afterlife. The papers had yellowed and I was surprised he had them but many mortals wore different outfits and that didn't make sense either. Adelaide was smiling in one, her hair was down. In another she was pregnant- with me. The third picture was her holding me as an infant. The last sketch was simple, there were no colors except her eyes, it was of her face. He told me this one he looked at often so to not forget her face. I placed the pictures in my desk drawer feeling guilty for looking at them.

I didn't sleep, I stayed up the rest of the night having arrived at one in the morning. My mom often checked on me, I think she actually fell asleep outside the door. I put all of my magic books in a trunk in my closet as well as my dresses and skirts. I wanted to burn them, to tear them apart but couldn't. I found several necklaces too one from when I went to the 1920s and another from time of the Salem Witch Trials and the crystal necklace that I had stopped wearing. I recalled my time in Salem and thought of William. I put the necklace on, convinced that the 1920s necklace was from the same person. He was going by Theodore at the time. He had written me a note but I hadn't seen him at the cemetery. Perhaps he had gone to the cemetery when I was dead. None the less if he was near I'd know now.

That morning I slipped on jeans and a sweater along with black boots. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail thinking of dyeing it a new color or getting it cut. My toe shoes were still in one of my bags and several of my leotards were in my dresser as well. I went downstairs to find the kitchen empty. Perhaps they were off fighting a demon. Phoebe joined me an hour later as I sat and ate an apple while reading a newspaper.

"Hey," Phoebe said yawning. She grabbed a cup of coffee and told me Piper had gone to work as had Prue.

"It's nice having you back, Prue's already in a better mood," Phoebe said.

"Did you and Piper move on?" I asked.

"Okay, no small talk then, yeah we moved on" she said, "We mourned but we continued on with our lives. We tried our best to help your mother grieve. She didn't want to accept that you had died, then she blamed magic." I was quiet for a while, I didn't watch my mom and after a while I had no interest to as awful as it sounded.

"I'm sorry for what you had to give up," Phoebe said after a while.

"Doesn't matter, I don't really know what I gave up anyway," I said shrugging.

"You gave up a lot," Phoebe said, "You came back to save not just Prue but everyone." She surely wanted to ask what my new memories were, that part was true, sort of. But I decided to wait until I was asked. I was angry at my mom, I was okay being dead. I was human now. I gave up my former life for this one.

Phoebe then asked if I hadn't wanted to come back. I shrugged not ready to tell them I hadn't wanted to come back. She said it was okay if I didn't want to. She said she knew I did what I had to because Prue was falling apart. They had managed to keep Prue from taking her magic for a month, could they have lasted longer? Could they have defeated the Source without me having to be here? She then proposed going out shopping for a new wardrobe. I just hoped demons didn't attack this time. I bought several more pairs of jeans and tops as well as two new leotards. We ended up eating lunch at a restaurant Piper used to work at.

After some time I suggested going home because I was tired. I took a nap and when I woke up my mom was on my bed. I sat up and smiled at her. She asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing," I said, "I'm just not used to this."

"What do you mean?"

"Sleeping, eating, didn't need it before."

"Oh," she said, "That makes sense. So, we were wondering what the story was. Why your suddenly not dead even though you have an obituary."

"Four months ago I went missing. Darryl has been informed, so he knows all the details. Anyway there was a search that yielded no results until two days ago. I was found and brought home, no hospital visits needed, no kidnapper, or murderer, but I do have to go in for an interview with a detective about what happened. I was told a story by the Elders to tell them." She didn't ask me for the story that I would tell to whomever I spoke to. She didn't ask about my new memories either, I suppose she wanted to give me time to tell them everything.

"How long are you supposed to be sick?" she asked, though I wasn't showing any symptoms. I shrugged not knowing for sure but I didn't feel sick. She then told me they would be going after the Source. The question was if they were ready. There was a whitelighter orbing into my room and I knew it wasn't Leo.

"Who are you?" my mom asked.

"Sebastian's here to help me," my mom looked at me, "I was dead, now I'm not. I had to mourn my life, I did, I moved on. Now I'm back. He's here for a transition period." My mom was taken back by how I spoke without care, that I was annoyed with her, possibly how I used the word transition considering I didn't know about the word when I had died. She looked at the Elder.

"You're going to help her?"

"Yes, I met her, a month ago your time," Sebastian said. My mom looked between us.

"I'm engaged mom, to William," I said hastily, "We're not- it's not..."

"Estelle is one of my charges, nothing more Ms Halliwell." I smiled at him. She told me dinner would be ready soon and left not really wanting to leave us alone. I assume she went to speak with Leo about my whitelighter. I told Sebastian about how I was angry with my mother, how I had lied about my sacrifice, how I didn't know how to be human. He wouldn't say anything to the sisters about any of this but had a note for me. Like the sketches it felt forbidden because the note was from my birth parents. He orbed away and I read the note.