The story's title is from the song "One Day" by Kodaline. All of the chapter titles come from various songs by the same band.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and any original characters that may be added in later. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to CW Television and DC Comics.

And I Feel So Alone (Like I'm Losing Control)

June 2012

Oliver walked out of the SCU building where his last class of the day just finished, smiling when he saw Tommy standing next to his Porsche. Classes at Starling City University had been going great so far, Oliver taking extras so that he could have enough credits to start his internship. He'd be working pretty low on the corporate food chain, following around some low-level executive to really get to know what many people actually do at Queen Consolidated. With time, he'd be able to move up and maybe shadow the VP, and eventually his mother. Oliver had been doing surprisingly well in school, taking his classes extremely seriously and working hard. The only drawback was that he was so busy that he and Felicity hadn't been talking as much as they used to. She was also taking on extra projects, so she tried to schedule time for them to talk when they were both free, but recently he had to cancel several of their 'dates'. He felt bad about it, but this was important to him and to his family. Felicity understood and to him, the distance hadn't really changed anything. They still loved each other and in two years, they'd be done with school and she would be back in Starling. They'd move in together, get married and live happily ever after - at least in Oliver's mind. But honestly, he'd like to take the next steps in their relationship sooner rather than later, before they grow too far apart.

"Do you want to head to the beach tonight? There's a party that this guy in my Econ class told me about. Should be fun," Tommy said with a smile, grabbing Oliver's attention.

They both climb into the car, Oliver settling his sunglasses atop his nose, "Yeah, sounds cool. But can we make a stop first? Felicity is coming home Sunday and I want to pick some things up for her from our vault as a welcome home thing. And I never gave her a birthday present because she was still in Massachusetts."

Tommy pulled onto the road, eyeing him from the corner of his eye with a smirk, "What are you thinking, man?"

"Nothing. There's just some Queen family heirlooms that I want to get my hands on. Just some earrings and stuff. I wanna look around."

"Yeah, okay."

After stopping by the bank to access the Queen's vault and get some different pieces of jewelry, Tommy and Oliver drove back to his house to drop off their stuff and get ready for that beach party. The car rolled to a stop and Tommy shifted the gear into park, the best friends both climbing out of the car and heading towards the front door.

The boys were stopped in their tracks at the sound of a familiar voice coming from behind them, "Do you guys know where I can find Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen? Word on the street is they used to be pretty cool."

Oliver turned to find Felicity, looking as gorgeous as ever in the summer sunlight. He grinned and headed towards her after Tommy, who wrapped her up in a hug, lifting her off the ground and causing her to laugh. Once her feet were planted firmly back on the ground, Tommy spoke, "Lis! I thought you weren't gonna be back until Sunday!"

"I was but then I decided I couldn't wait any longer to be home, so I finished up all my tests and hopped on a private jet courtesy of Moira Queen. My bags are already inside. You guys took forever to get home," Felicity explained, unknowing that the reason that they were late was for her.

She turned to her boyfriend, her smile growing even wider and she shortened the distance between them, a little hop in her step causing her high ponytail to swing back and forth from her movements. Oliver wrapped an arm around her waist and cradled the back of her head with the other. He smiled down at her with something unfamiliar to her shining in his eyes; hope for their future together. She leaned up on her tiptoes and placed a firm but gentle kiss to his lips.

He allowed his tongue to slip briefly between her lips to tangle with her own before pulling away and resting his forehead against hers, both of their eyes still closed to stay lost in the feeling. "Welcome home."

November 2017

Walking into Verdant, Oliver's eyes search for Tommy so that they can go over the final arrangements for his bachelor party. The wedding is in two weeks, and Oliver is planning on making his best friend's last night of partying as epic as their parties were in high school. Plus, it gives him something to keep his mind off the particular gorgeous blonde that has been occupying his thoughts lately. Ever since he had lunch with his mom last month, he hasn't been able to stop considering her words. Maybe it's time that he talks to Felicity, outside of the handful of times she'd come to discuss work, and give her an opportunity to explain herself. After all, she had made it a point to say that she did have reasons and explanations; maybe it's time he hears them.

Oliver makes his way towards the staircase in the back that leads up to Tommy's office when he hears a very familiar laugh coming from the bar. Inhaling a deep breath through his nose, he braces himself for what he knows he's about to see when he turns around. His eyes land on his baby sister, taking shots of what looks like vodka with a few of her friends that he recognizes. She is wobbling on her four inch heels, clearly having been here drinking for a while, and wearing a skintight dress that falls way too high on her thighs for his liking. Feeling his anger rise, Oliver stalks over to the bar and wraps his hand around her wrist, yanking her away from her friends.

Thea's head swivels around and she smiles up at him, eyes glossy and unfocused, "Ollie!"

He glares down at her, arm around her waist to hold her up as she hangs loosely on his arm. "Thea. What are you doing here? Where is Tommy?"

"Psh, he doesn't know I'm here. It's Larissa's birthday!" her words come out slurred.

"How did you get in here? You are fifteen years old."

"I believe it was from the bouncer who said 'right this way, Miss Queen'," she giggles.

Oliver sucks in a sharp breath. He is so getting that guy fired. "C'mon, we're leaving," his tone offers no room for argument as he begins to pull her along with him but apparently, she doesn't get the message, because she pouts and plants her heels into the floor.

"You are leaving. I am not going anywhere."

"I'm not asking. Let's go."

"No, Ollie. Y'know, I am sick and tired of you judging me! When you were my age you were getting arrested, so you have no right to tell me how to live my life. Especially considering you've turned into a completely different person! All you care about is work!"

He sighs, not wanting to fight with her but just wanting to take her home, "Speedy…"

"No! Okay, it is not my fault that you turned into a boring, judgmental jerk ever since Felicity dumped your ass. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father!" Thea glares up at him and if looks could kill, he would've dropped dead five minutes ago. She pushes her way past him and back to her friends at the bar, who have all been curiously watching the siblings' exchange.

Oliver takes a deep breath and the loud thumping of the beat becomes too much for him. His head is pounding by the time he makes it outside. Climbing into his car, he starts driving back to his apartment. After about twenty minutes when he parks, his eyes finally focus on where he is and it isn't at home. Narrowing his eyes, Oliver climbs out of his car and inhales deeply, breathing in the cool evening air as he realizes where he is. Taking this as a sign that his subconscious might finally be ready for this, he makes his way up the front steps. Oliver inhales another breath to prepare himself before he lifts his hand and knocks.

Drying off the last of her dishes from dinner, Felicity reaches up and puts them away inside the cabinet. She walks over to her wine rack and pulls out her favorite bottle, a Lafite Rothschild 1982. It's just been one of those weeks where she needs to kick back and enjoy a nice, large glass of her favorite drink: wine. Just as she's about to pour the delicious red liquid, someone knocks on her front door. Her brows draw together and she makes her way to the door, wondering who it could be considering she has only been living in her new townhouse for a couple weeks and not many people know that she lives here. She wraps her hand around the knob and twists it, tugging open the door and freezing when she sees who is behind it. "Oliver?"

Oliver releases a breath almost like he's relieved to see her, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on her part. With one hand shoved in his pocket and the other scratching the back of his neck, which she recognizes as one of his nervous tics, he shifts his weight between his feet.

Immediately able to tell that something is bothering him, she furrows her brows, not even worrying about the fact that she is wearing a pair of very short shorts and one of his t-shirts that she's kept all these years; it doesn't smell like him anymore. "What happened?"

"Can I come in?" his voice is steady, but she can tell that it's forced. She silently steps aside, making room for him to walk through the threshold into her living room. He looks around, taking in the cozy little townhouse.

Felicity closes the door and faces him, not knowing what to do or say. "Do you want something to drink? I just opened a bottle of wine."

"Red?" he questions all too knowingly. She sucks in a sharp breath at his remembrance and nods her head. "That would be great, actually. I could use it."

She gestures a hand towards the couch, "Make yourself at home." It isn't lost on either of them that at one point in time, her home should have been his. She heads into the kitchen while he pulls off his coat and drapes it over her sofa bench before settling on the couch, sinking into the plush cushions.

Pulling out another glass from the rack, Felicity begins to pour their drinks and she is unable to stop her hands from shaking. Oliver is here; the man she loves is currently sitting in her living room. And it is obvious to her that he is upset yet somehow he ended up on her doorstep. They haven't spoken about anything that doesn't have to do with work since what Felicity has deemed the Dinner Disaster of '17. So why is he upset, and why has he come to her of all people? She also hopes that he doesn't recognize his shirt because that could be awkward.

She grabs a glass in each hand and her bare feet pad softly against the hardwood floor as she makes her way from the kitchen, holding his glass out to him. Both suck in a sharp breath when their fingers brushed, the spark that used to happen every time they touched still present. Making sure to keep a respectable distance between them, Felicity sits down and they both sip their wine silently. Deciding to break the silence, she tries to make her voice come out steadier than how she feels whenever she's around him, "Oliver, why are you here?"

Oliver sighs and sets his glass down on the side table before shifting to face her more. His eyes are cast downward and he furrows his brow, "I don't know. I left Verdant to go home but I… I ended up here." At her curious glance, he answered her silent question, "Sara mentioned a while ago where you moved."

"Right," she nods her head slowly, eyes boring into his profile. "So… what happened tonight? I can tell that something is bothering you."

"It's Thea," he decides to get right to the point, finding it just as easy as it used to be to talk to her. "I found her at Verdant, wasted off her ass. And she said some stuff and… I don't know what to do."

Eyes scanning over the lines of his face, Felicity decides to take a calculated risk and shift closer to him on the couch, one leg tucked up underneath herself. "I'm sorry, Oliver. I didn't know that she was struggling so much. Do you want me to talk to her? Maybe I can get through to her, convince to stop or get some help."

He glances up at her, brows drawn together in confusion, "You'd do that?"

"Of course I would. Thea is like a little sister to me, I love her. Of course I want to help her."

Oliver can't stop the small smile from tugging up the corners of his mouth, but it quickly falls when he casts his eyes downwards. He gulps and something unreadable flashes through his eyes. "That's mine."

"What?" Felicity mutters before realizing what he means and looking down. Her fingers play with the hem of the grey tee before chancing a look up at his face. She can't tell if he is angry or hurt or what, because his face remains stoic and his eyes are unmoving from where they're locked on the shirt between her fingers. Her voice is quiet when she speaks, "Oh. Uh, yeah. It is. You must've left it when you were visiting me once, I guess I just kept it…"

His eyes flick up to her face, "Why?"

"Why did I keep it? I don't know, it's really comfortable and - "

"No. Why did you leave?" Her head shoots up at his question and their eyes connect, hurt and vulnerability shining through his and she sucks in a sharp breath. She's searching for words when he continues, "You said that you had a reason; an explanation. But I wasn't ready to hear it. I am now."

"Okay… Okay," Felicity shifts closer to him once again, reaching out a tentative hand and meeting his eyes in a silent question. When he doesn't object, she grasps his hand in hers and nearly sighs in relief at the feel of his soft, warm skin that she's missed so much. "Oliver… You have to know that I… It wasn't easy for me. When I got back to Massachusetts, I was a mess. During the day, I threw myself into work and school. And at night I would just lay in my bed and cry. I'm not looking for sympathy, but I just need you to understand that not a day has gone by in the last five years where I didn't regret the choice I made."

He doesn't speak but keeps his eyes locked on her face as she continues, "The reason that I left, that I got scared, is because I fou - " her voice is interrupted by a ringing sound and Oliver sighs, finally pulling his eyes away from her and lifting his hips to retrieve his phone from his back pocket. She releases the grip she has on his hand and shifts a few inches away from him.

He looks at his phone screen and groans, eyes settling back on the blonde as he slides his thumb across the screen, "Hello?" Oliver sighs at the person on the other end of the line, "Yeah… Okay… Just keep her upstairs, I'm on my way… Yeah, I'll be there in twenty… Thanks, man."

She furrows his brow as he hangs up, shoulders filled with a newfound tension, "Who was that?"

He stands, making his way to grab his coat, "Tommy. He dragged Thea upstairs when she started to dance on the bar and now she's passed out. He can't leave the club; I have to take her home."

"Of course," Felicity stands, walking him to the door, "I hope she's okay. Um… maybe we can finish this another time?" She cringes internally at the hopefulness in her tone.

Oliver turns to her, "Thank you for offering to talk to Thea. I'm sure it'll really help her. Goodnight, Felicity."

Felicity stands in the open doorway and watches him walk to his car, waiting until it's out of sight before a tear trails down her cheek, still shaken that he even came here in the first place, and she whispers to open air, "Goodbye, Oliver."