These past few days have been both pretty exciting and tiring for the gang. In the first few, they had been invited by Nelson to a cruise to interact with the senior citizens from the Silver Star Retirement Home. Everyone but Sonic was eager enough to actually join in this activity, even Logan, who at first was reluctant to go on this particular trip, but eventually began warming up to each senior he spoke to. They had to admit, it was nice of these folks to not judge them for being different from anyone else.
Things went well during the cruise, until Eggman showed up in his new aircraft, the Egg Fort II, to spoil the fun.
Luckily, with the combined forces of Sonic, Deadpool and the mutants, they were able to beat the mad doctor once again.
For good measure, Ella chased down Bokkun with the X-Tornado after another one of the messenger robot's pranks, and sent him back to his creator crying.
With that out of the way, the gang went back to enjoying their moment of peace.
Although, Wade nearly went Titanic on the gang when he decided to make a unicorn sculpture out of an iceberg with his optic blast to celebrate, but the cruise ship only sustained a few cracks, and Colossus only got a few chunks to the head.
He was just lucky Logan punched him in the jewels without unsheathing his claws.
The next days had the gang only hanging at the Thorndyke Mansion, chatting with one another and helping each other out, though Wade went out on his daily patrols in the city, this time bringing Logan with him.
Now, it was nighttime, and everyone had gone to their rooms, though Logan decided to sleep on the couch in the living room, to get a good night's rest.
Which was interrupted by Wade's loud snoring, followed by him mumbling "boobies" with each snore, which only lasted for more than thirty seconds until he became silent for the rest of the night.
Then another noise came in the form of Cujo's growling and scratching at the floor in Wade's room in his sleep, though he stopped after fifteen short seconds, and silence filled the mansion once more.
Until it was interrupted yet again by another noise, this time it nearly shook the whole mansion, and Chris was the first to wake up.
"What's that?" he asked.
As soon as the sound died out, Ella grabbed a frying pan as Tanaka followed her towards the front door, ready to give a surprise attack.
Charging through the doors, they both let out a yell as Ella swung her pan while Tanaka prepared to lay his karate skills on the intruder.
However, Ella's attack was stopped by a hand on her pan, while Tanaka's attack was stopped by a boot, keeping them both from attacking.
"Back off! Relax! Lighten up! It's me!"
Ella and Tankaka stopped their attack to see that the "intruder" was none other than Sam Speed.
Chuck, wearing a white nightshirt and cap, walked out the door with a look of mild annoyance.
"Blast it, Sam!" Chuck complained. "Don't you have any idea what time it is?"
"Sure I do! It's morning!" Sam answered with a smirk.
"It's 3 A.M.!"
Sam stood in silent suprise for a moment.
"So it's a little early." he said sheepishly.
"Ugh, did Silver Balls roll out of his bed and off the balcony?" Wade groaned sleepily from behind them, bringing their attention to him.
"Oh, good morning, Wade- whoa!" Sam quickly covered his view, as did the other three, the moment he saw Wade in an open red bathrobe that revealed him in only his white undies.
"What?" the merc asked until he looked down and then quickly wrapped the belt around his bathrobe to cover himself up. "You wouldn't react like that if you saw Vanessa, right?"
"I wouldn't be surprised, Wade." Sam said, still blocking his view, though he now started thinking of Vanessa in a similar situation like this.
"I heard that!" Wade shouted.
"I hope you didn't wake the neighbors." Chuck said.
Then something else caught his attention.
From behind Sam, a large crowd of citizens were surrounding the whole mansion with excited and eager looks on their faces.
"Nice, they're all up." Chuck groaned, and then looked up as helicopters flew by the mansion.
At that moment, Colossus, Negasonic, Logan, and Vanessa stepped out of the front door to see the huge crowd outside.
"What's with the paparazzi?" Vanessa asked as she yawned.
"Isn't it a little early to give these people autographs?" Negasonic added as she rubbed her eyes.
"Did Wade call 'em over again?" Logan asked with irritation. "I told him I wasn't interested in signing autographs with my claws!"
From the balcony, Sonic observed the situation with confusion as Chris walked up to him.
"What's going on?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes.
As his vision cleared, he looked down to see the crowd surrounding the mansion.
"Where'd all those people come from?" he asked.
"I don't know." Sonic said. "Looks like they're lined up for a parade."
Back on the porch, Chuck took notice of the vehicle behind Sam.
"Hey Sam, isn't that a new car?" Chuck asked.
The vehicle itself was 8.5 meters in length and looked like a combination between a rocket and a race car painted red and yellow.
"Now that's a car!" Negasonic said, looking rather impressed by the vehicle's detail.
"Perfect!" Colossus added.
"Well, I'll be damned." Logan said with a smirk.
"It's amazing!" Vanessa said.
Wade whistled as he observed every part of the vehicle with his teleportation power. "You know, with something like this, you can always be able to take long trips to space and party the night away on the moon! Aw, what the hell, it'll be night up there anyway!"
"That's not why I'm here, Wade." Sam said with an amused smirk before announcing, "I'm here to challenge Sonic to a road race!"
"A race?" Sonic and Chris said in unison.
Chuck began to observe the engine on the back of the vehicle.
"Hold on!" he exclaimed. "This is a rocket engine!"
"That's the SSIII Super Rocket." Sam explained. "It was designed by top engineers at the Office of Science and Technology. Over a billion dollars went into its development."
Pointing to Sonic on top of the balcony, Sam shouted, "Sonic! I'm gonna prove once and for all that I'm the fastest guy on the planet!"
"Sonic, are you gonna race against my uncle, Sam?" Chris asked.
Sonic only laid on the railing with a smirk on his face, and after a few moments of silence, he stood up and hopped off.
"No way!" he answered.
Sam took notice of this and gawked at the hedgehog's sudden refusal.
"Hey, wait!" Sam shouted before running into the mansion. "You know, for a hedgehog, you sure are spineless!"
Running towards the attic, Sam opened the door as Chuck followed, seeing Sonic sitting on a chair with his feet on a table, while Tails still lay in bed.
"Hey, Sonic, we have a race!" Sam said.
Suddenly, Tails shot up with a gasp before looking around sleepily.
"Morning already?" he asked.
Later…
"Sonic says he won't race, see?" Chuck said.
Tails only raised his head up groggily, probably not understanding.
"He will race!" Sam declared. "The starting line will be in front of this house. From here, we'll speed downtown, straight through the heart of Station Square. After we blast across the bridge out of the city, the competition will really heat up as we zoom through the desert and navigate through the twisted turns of the desert. A hairpin turn will lead us back to the city. The winner will be the one who reaches the stadium first! There will be thousands of fans to cheer us on, including the President waiting at the finish line!"
"The President?" Chris asked.
"He's gonna congratulate the winner on live TV." Sam continued.
"But why would the government let Uncle Sam use their rocket for a race with Sonic?" Chris asked.
"The SIII was expensive and they think the race will increase tax payer support for the project." Chuck explained.
"Yeah! You got it!" Sam agreed.
"Except we're not gonna race." Sonic said stubbornly.
"Oh?" Sam asked, as he got closer to Sonic's face with a glare. "What's the matter, Sonic? Are you afraid that when our race is over you'll be known as the second fastest guy on the planet? I'm not gonna take 'no' for an answer, Sonic! And I won't let up until you agree to race me!"
"Why couldn't I have a normal family?" Chris groaned as he facepalmed.
"Look, Sam, you can't expect Station Square to shut down just so you two can have a race." Chuck said.
"Oh, yeah? You wanna bet?" Sam asked.
That was when the TV turned on, revealing Scarlet Garcia smiling towards the camera.
"They're just about ready for the race here in Station Square!" Scarlet said as the camera cut to the city, where dozens of citizens are awaiting the race. "The streets will soon completely be clear of traffic and an enormous crowd is gathering all around the course waiting for the race to start!"
The camera cut to Lindsey, dressed in a beautiful pink dress and holding a bouquet of flowers, and Nelson, dressed in a nice suit, standing on a balcony in front of a cheering crowd.
"They're cheering now for the sponsors of today's race: the popular movie star Lindsey Fair and her handsome mogul husband, Nelson Thorndyke!" Scarlet continued.
"This keeps getting worse." Chris groaned.
"I'll bet my nightcap that your uncle's the one who got them involved in this ridiculous race!" Chuck agreed.
"Well, Sonic?" Sam asked."You're not gonna disappoint that crowd, are ya? They've been waiting for hours to see if this goes human to hedgehog!"
"Or mutant!" Wade spoke up. "Come on, buddy! This is your chance to match up to my popularity!"
"You mean ours." Negasonic corrected him.
"Whatever!" Wade said.
"Don't tell me you're in on this, too, Wade!" Chuck said with exasperation.
"What I mean is, I want in on the race too!" Wade continued. "Just think of the money, the fans, the chicks-!"
"I'm still here, Wade." Vanessa said irritably.
Cujo, being a hyena, let out a giggle. It was always hard to tell if it was on instinct or on purpose. The gang had to take a note of that later.
"Tempting possibilities, but no." Sonic said. "There's already an army of fans gawking over me like they gawk over you, and I'm not interested in the big bucks like you are. But seriously? Me with a bunch of hot human women? Fat chance!"
"I know this is strange coming from me, but Wade has a point." Colossus spoke up. "There are people in this city that idolize him and even us, and if you participate in this race, you might earn more respect around the world."
"Seriously, you gotta get in!" Negasonic added. "You and Sam have been good pals since you got adjusted here, so I say you give the people what they want and win this thing."
"I already said I'm a role model just like Wade." Sonic said stubbornly. "I've been in the spotlight one too many times."
"One minute you're a thrillseeker, the next you're suddenly a lazy rat." Logan spoke up. "You can't just go against your own words."
"Tough." Sonic simply answered, causing Sam to let out a frustrated yell.
"Come on!"
At the White House…
Jerome Wise was sleeping in his room as he had a wonderful dream.
"Hello, my dear!" he said in his sleep as he sat up from his bed while making kissing noises, only for the phone on his nightstand to ring, causing him to jump up with a surprised scream before falling out of his bed, fully awake.
Groaning, he stood back up and answered the phone.
"Yeah? Who's this?" he asked through the phone.
"SONIC WON'T RACE ME!" Sam Speed yelled through the other side of the phone, causing Jerome to jump in surprise. "Do something! The President should order him to compete!"
"Who is this?" Jerome asked once more after regaining his composure, but Sam didn't answer. Sighing with annoyance, he hung up the phone and went back to his bed.
"Sonic won't race." he said with a yawn as he tucked himself back in. "That's too bad. But if he won't race…"
With another yawn he went back to sleep…
Moments later he jumped back up with a gasp and a look of horror on his face as he realized what he had just said.
"If Sonic doesn't race Sam Speed, my career's over!" he said. "The President will probably be impeached before the next election! And all because Sonic won't race! We've got to do something! We'll call out the military, the army, the Navy, and the Air Force!" he laughed. "That should help convince Sonic to change his mind!"
But now the thought of that being a bad idea crossed his mind.
"The Secretary of Defense will probably make a fuss about it." he said. "And Deadpool and his mutant gang will probably try to fight back!"
As he thought of another way to force Sonic into the race, one last idea popped into his head, but that idea involved joining forces with the public's number one enemy.
"I know! I'll go over his head!" he said.
On the Egg Fort II…
Eggman's new fortress hovered above the ocean as Eggman kept making new plans on taking over Station Square, while keeping up with his constant bickering with his robot henchmen.
Right now he was playing chess with one of his robots, which had a long thin body and arms, and a square head with an eye, who moved his pawn one space.
"And that is checkmate." the robot said.
Eggman only growled in frustration, having lost once again to one of his own creations.
"You cheater!" he shouted.
The robot only crossed his arms as it fired back, "Loser."
"WHAT?!" Eggman shouted. "I built you and I can unbuild you!"
Knocking the table aside, he grabbed the robot by the neck and began to shake it in anger.
"I'll checkmate you, you pawn!" Eggman growled as he continued to strangle and shake the robot.
"I promise that I will let you win next time, doctor!" the robot said in fear as his eye in his monitor began flashing yellow.
"There won't be a next time!" Eggman said threateningly, until a beeping noise got his attention.
Turning to his screen while still holding the robot by the neck, he saw the monitor cutting to a man in a shady brown coat, hat, and shades.
"Doctor Eggman, I have a proposition for you." the man said.
"Oh, yeah? Who are you?" the mad doctor demanded.
"That doesn't matter." the man answered. "Now, you want to settle the score with Sonic?"
"Yes, maybe." Eggman answered.
"What if I told you that Sonic has been challenged against a high-tech rocket car designed by the government?" the man asked.
Eggman propped his head up, looking intrigued.
"Really?" he asked. "Is that so?"
"In fact, Sonic is so scared he'll be defeated that he turned us down." the man continued.
Now giving his full attention, Eggman dropped the robot and put his fists on his hips with curiosity.
"And so you need me to get Sonic in the race?" he asked. "That's it?"
"You convince Sonic to enter that race and I'll get you front row seats to an ice show." the man proposed.
"Are you nuts?" Eggman asked, completely baffled by this kind of offer. "An ice show?"
That was when Decoe and Bocoe piped up in excitement.
"I love figure skating!" Bocoe said.
"Oh, please, can we go?" Decoe begged.
"We'll work day and night without complaining behind your back like we usually do!" Bocoe offered.
Eggman put a hand to his chin as he pondered the deal.
"Alright." he said. "But how do I know this isn't some kind of elaborate trick you're playing on me?"
The man began to stammer until he removed his shades, revealing stars in his wide eyes.
"Look in my eyes and you'll see I'm sincere!" he said.
The trio jumped back, looking a little freaked out.
"Well, then I'll do it!" Eggman quickly said before he, Decoe and Bocoe turned to the robot. "I'll need a robot to stop Sonic."
"Me?" the robot asked.
The trio began walking towards it with sinister looks in their faces.
"I'll rebuild this one into a model that forces Sonic to enter the race." Eggman said as he and Decoe and Bocoe adavanced towards the robot.
"No, please!" the robot begged. "Doctor! Not me!"
Back at the mansion…
Tails, Amy and Chris were checking out the Rocket Car as Sam waited for Sonic to accept his challenge.
"It's cool!" Tails said.
"It does look fast!" Amy added.
"My uncle Sam wouldn't drive it if it wasn't cool or fast." Chris said, until he heard a familar childish laugh, and his suspicions were confirmed as Bokkun the Messenger Robot arrived. "Oh, brother."
"Where's Sonic?!" Bokkun asked. "I have to see him now! I brought a message with me!"
With Sonic…
The blue blur laid against the balcony railing with closed eyes and a smirk, clearly being stubborn to accept the race, while the mutants were still trying to convince him to join.
"Listen, you stubborn blueberry!" Wade threatened. "You're gonna look good in front all the people and get in that race whether you like it or not!"
"Or else what?" Sonic asked while keeping his eyes closed, completely unfazed by Wade's threat, knowing he would never follow through.
"Or else, uh…" Wade tried to come up with an effective threat. "…or else I'll take your shoes and replace them with J's and wait for someone to steal them!"
"I'd find them before you even hide them." Sonic shot back.
"Seriuosly, Wade. You gotta work on some new threats next time." Vanessa reminded him.
"Nothing's working." Logan spoke up. "We spent hours trying to get this guy off his furry little ass!"
"Perhaps it's best to call off the race." Colossus suggested.
"We can't give up now!" Negasonic tried to reason. "We can't let the people down. Think of the ratings!"
"We tried everything." Vanessa said, until something caught her eye and the others soon followed.
And then a smirk crossed their lips.
"Except for this…" Wade said, rubbing his hands together.
Sonic still kept his eyes closed and his smirk ever so present, fully ready to turn down another suggestion for him to join the race.
"Wake up! I have a message for ya!"
Sonic opened his eyes to see Bokkun standing in front of him, causing him to stand straight up and brace for any explosive message the messenger robot will deliver.
"Relax! I promise this one isn't gonna blow up in the end!" Bokkun assured him.
"Alright." Sonic said, though he still kept his guard up. "What is it?"
"You better enter that race, Sonic!" Bokkun threatened as he reached for his bag. "Or else you'll have to face this!"
He pulled out the robot that beat Eggman at chess, except this time it was, uh… different.
The robot now had a set of plump, womanly lips and large eyes with long eyelashes and a noodle thin body.
"Hi there!" the robot greeted in a high, feminine sounding voice before making kisses to the air and advancing towards Sonic.
Wade began to laugh his ass off the more he looked at the robot, obviously because of how ridiculous it looked. "Looks like Pinky's not the only one chasing you around anymore!" he said before continuing his laughing fit, and even Cujo giggled along.
The speedy hedgehog, with a terrified look, began running all around the balcony as the robot started chasing him, while Bokkun began laughing along with Wade at the hedgehog's ordeal.
The rest of the mutants, on the other hand, looked on with amused smirks on their faces.
"What the hell am I looking at here?" Logan asked as he gave a rare chuckle.
"Should we help him?" Negasonic asked.
"Nah, he brought this one on himself." Vanessa said.
"This should help convince him." Colossus said with a smirk.
Sonic stopped running and took a moment to sit down by the table to quickly catch his breath.
"Yuck! I don't wanna take any lip from that robot!" he said in disgust as Bokkun kept laughing hysterically.
"Here's what you can do: bend over and let it smooch ya right there!" Wade joked loudly before continuing his laughing fit as Bokkun joined him.
"I think that's one thing we can agree on!" he shouted before laughing again.
"You're not helping, Wade!" Sonic shouted.
Back outside the mansion, Sam stomped his foot on the pedal, which caused the engine to release a blue flame repeatedly.
Sonic quickly heard it, and now had the decision to participate in the race, or get smooched by a robot.
"I'm not gonna take 'no' for an answer, Sonic!" he then remembered Sam's words. "And I won't let up until you agree to race me!"
The smooching robot was now advancing towards him, and Sonic finally made the right decision:
"Man, I'll race!" he shouted, jumping off the chair and causing the smooching robot to leap towards Bokkun, who made muffled screams as the robot's lips made contact with its face.
Sam continued to stomp on the pedal repeatedly, until Sonic finally walked up.
"Are you gonna play with that pedal all day?" he asked with a smirk. "Or are we gonna have a race?"
Sam only gave a smirk in response, finally glad that Sonic accepted the challenge.
"Finally!" Wade shouted as the other mutants followed him with pleased looks on their faces.
"Hey, Wade." Sam said. "You said you wanted in on the race, right?"
"Yeah. How could I not forget that several paragraphs ago?" Wade answered.
"I always thought you'd say that!" he said with a smirk.
In the garage…
The whole gang gathered around the garage as Sam pulled the sheet off of the large object underneath, and everyone, mostly Wade, gasped at the sight.
It was a large vehicle with red and black painting that had one wheel in the front and back of the middle area, and four more wheels on the sides, and the front had the black ovals resembling the pieces on Deadpool's mask and white headlights representing the eyes. On the inside, the dashboard had several buttons and the usual steering wheel, with a radio just underneath it.
"Holy Mary Mother of Joseph!" Wade gasped as he observed his new vehicle. "I don't wanna know how much bucks you put into this baby!"
"Oh, you shouldn't thank me, Wade." Sam said.
"Yeah, you should thank us." a voice said from outside the garage.
Everyone turned and saw Weasel and Bob standing right outside along with a young man of Indian descent with smirks on their faces.
"Bob? Weasel?" Vanessa asked. "You guys are in on this too?"
"What can we say? Three racers means three's a crowd." Bob said.
"Is it a coincidence that the three of us built this thing?" the Indian man asked.
"And who's this?" Sonic asked as he looked at the man.
"Guys, this is Dopinder." Wade introduced. "He's my personal cabbie and he's pretty cheap when it comes to paying fares."
"Really?" Chris asked. "What's his price?"
"Crisp high-five each." Wade answered as he and Dopinder high-fived each other.
"Anyway, how'd you make this thing?" Chuck asked.
"Well, we noticed that Wade hasn't been using his bike and car very lately." Weasel asked.
"That's when we thought that maybe he wanted something new." Bob added. "Something more badass."
"That's when we called Sam to take both of your rides, dismantle them, and reshape them into this bad boy!" Weasel finished as he motioned towards the vehicle.
"I don't know if I should thank you or punch your balls in." Wade said. "Not you Dopinder. You did most of the work, I assume."
"Actually, I did the painting, DP." Dopinder admitted. "Weasel is the one who designed it."
"And Bob's the one who improved it." Weasel added. "He did say you wanted something more badass than your old rides."
"Gone with the old, in with the new, as they say." Wade said.
Amy checked the front of the vehicle and noticed the license plate, which she read aloud.
"'MI26E4U'?"
"Oh, no, you're perfect in every way, Pinky." Wade complimented.
"Huh? But I didn't…" Amy stopped and took a moment to let what she just said sink in, and a heavy blush spread on her face.
"Haha! Got ya there, didn't I?" Wade laughed before returning his gaze to the vehicle. "So what should we call this big boy?"
"How about the Car-Pool?" Negasonic suggested.
"I'm not letting any of you take turns with my new baby!" Wade suddenly shouted, until he looked up thoughtfully. "…Except for Vanessa. Anyway, it might ruin the new paint job or rust any parts!"
"You asked to ride the X-Jet on your own." Colossus reminded him. "Last time you took it out, you only caused minimal amounts of property damage."
"I told you I wanted flight lessons!" Wade said defensively. "Plus I'm rich enough to pay for those kinds of damages, so don't judge me."
"Well, what else should we name it?" Tails asked.
"I know!" Wade beamed. "The Dead-Buggy!"
"That sounds out of context." Logan admitted. "And that thing's too big to be a buggy."
"Try figuring how to name your own toys after yourself, Logan." Wade snapped at him. "Now, what are we waiting for? Let's make Paul Walker proud!"
With that, the entire gang cheered, fully ready to start the race.
Later…
The crowd cheered as the three contestants stood at the starting line in front of the mansion, ready to get this race going.
While the gang was excited for the big event, a few of them were still suspicious.
"I just don't get it." Amy said with her hands on her hips. "What made Sonic change his mind?"
"I guess he couldn't resist the challenge." Tails said.
"On your mark…" Chuck announced as he waved a green flag in the air.
Sam smirked as he slowly put his foot on the pedal, while Sonic gave a snicker, ready to go head-to-head with his rival racer.
"Get set…"
Deadpool finished signing another autograph when he realized that the race was about to start. He quickly teleported onto the driver's seat and put his foot on the pedal.
"Knock 'em dead, Pool-Boy!" Dopinder cheered.
"Make the fans happy!" Bob shouted.
"If you crash, I call your cocaine stash!" Weasel shouted, before realizing what he had just said. "Hey, rhyme!"
"GO!" Chuck threw the green flag, signifying the start of the race.
Sam stomped on the pedal so hard that it caused the engine to create a force so strong that it caused Sonic to fly a few feet away as the SSIII sped off.
"Cheap shot, Sammy boy!" Deadpool shouted before stepping on the pedal, which caused the Dead-Buggy to go about the same speed as the Rocket Car. "Maximum effort!"
As soon as the smoke cleared, Sonic quickly jumped off the ground and sped off after Sam and Deadpool.
From above, Scarlet Garcia and her cameraman observed the three contestants racing across the streets.
"This is Scarlet Garcia reporting from News Chopper 1!" Scarlet stated in her report. "We now continue our live coverage of the road race of the century as Sonic the Hedgehog takes on Sam Speed, with the addition of mercenary/vigilante, Deadpool in his new vehicle, the Dead-Buggy!"
The camera cut to the race, where the three racers have matched their speed to catch up to each other.
"After a delayed start, the racers left the Thorndyke Mansion and are now speeding through Downtown Station Square!"
Back in the race…
The three racers sped through the streets with a huge amount of speed, when Sonic noticed something about the Rocket Car.
"Hey, Sam!" Sonic shouted.
"Now what?" Sam groaned, while keeping his eyes on the road.
"I thought this was supposed to be a road race, but your Rocket Car doesn't even touch the asphalt!" Sonic shouted. "What's up?! That thing doesn't even have wheels!"
"Yeah? Look close!" Sam responded.
Sonic complied and took a closer look at the bottom of the Rocket Car, and saw a set of small wheels deployed and keeping the vehicle on the ground.
"You see? The wheels guide the glide!" Sam said with a smirk.
"What if you get a flat?" Sonic asked as the racing trio sped through the town.
"Yeah, you're gonna have to settle with adamantium wheels if you ask me!" Deadpool quipped. "And don't think you're gonna get a donor from me or Logan!"
The contestants picked up the speed as Scarlet and her cameraman observed the whole race from the chopper.
"Our racers are about to enter the most dangerous part of the course as they race through these narrow streets at super high speeds!" Scarlet stated. "But is the Rocket Car maneuverable enough to make those hypervelocity turns?"
"It'll be easy!" Sam boasted.
"Oh yeah?" Sonic asked. "Well, prove it!"
At that moment, Sonic picked up more speed, which got him ahead of Sam and Deadpool, taking sharp turns around every street corner.
"Great! Sonic's gone way ahead!" Sam said. "Commence 'Project: Straightaway' now!"
At the Highway Patrol Team headquarters, one of the team members heard the order and answered, "Roger!"
At that, he pressed a button that caused a few buildings across from each other to open their garages, which created a path for Sam and Deadpool to drive through with ease.
Sam let out a laugh before saying, "Sorry, Sonic, but being chief of the S-Team gives me the kind of class that opens stores in this city!"
"And as long as said stores have enough sponsoring from yours truly, you might have what it takes to enter the illegal racing business!" Deadpool joked with a laugh as he and Sam raced through the streets just as Sonic sped out of a highway, looking back in shock to see the garages close.
The racing trio made it to the bridge just as Sonic caught up to Sam and Deadpool.
"That wasn't fair!" Sonic shouted at Sam.
"Tough luck!" Sam responded with a smug smile.
Growling, Sonic jumped on top of the hood and sat down with a smirk, much to Sam's irritation as the latter tried to look past the hedgehog on both sides.
"Get off of my hood, Sonic!" he demanded.
"Ah, nice breeze here!" Sonic mockingly sighed.
"Hitching a ride is against the rules!" Sam shouted.
"Touch luck!" Sonic retorted, using Sam's words against him.
Unbeknownst to them, Deadpool had other plans as he scanned through the dashboard in his Dead-Buggy for something useful.
"Gotta keep the ratings up if I wanna win this thing." Deadpool muttered as he searched through the dasboard, when a static sound came through the radio.
"Wade, come in!" Weasel's voice said. "You need anything?"
"Yeah, you got any tunes in this thing, 'cause your voice is giving me a bigger headache!" Deadpool said sarcastically. "Of course, I need something! Got any ideas?"
"Listen, there's a small compartment under your dashboard. Pull it." Weasel instructed.
Deadpool complied and put his hand under the dashboard, and his eyes widened the moment he opened the compartment.
Then his eyes narrowed in his mask to form a grin.
Sonic continued to sit on the hood of the Rocket Car, irritating Sam even further, when something landed on the former's face and a high pitched honk followed.
The blue blur quickly snapped out of his break and looked at the object that hit him.
"A rubber chicken?!" he asked in confusion, when another rubber chicken hit him square in the face.
He quickly looked at the source the rubber chickens were being thrown from and saw Deadpool laughing his ass off as the windshield was open and had another rubber chicken loaded in his hand.
"Be glad they ain't filled with cocaine!" the merc taunted before tossing the rubber chicken at Sonic, who dodged it just in time.
"What the heck are you doing, Wade?!" Sonic shouted.
"It was Sam's idea first!" Deadpool said as he tossed yet another rubber chicken. "Besides, ever played Mario Kart? That's what playing dirty's all about!"
"This just breaks the rules even further!" Sam shouted.
"Tough luck, roadhogs!" Deadpool mocked before picking up the speed in his Dead-Buggy, laughing all the way across the bridge.
Both Sonic and Sam growled at Deadpool's taunts, when the latter remembered the merc's words.
'It was Sam's idea first!'
That was when an idea formed in Sam's head, and a smirk spread across his lips.
"You know what, Sonic? Deadpool's right, you got me!" Sam said in mock defeat. "Would you mind moving to the back so I can see where I'm going?"
Sonic was confused at first, but complied and carefully moved across the windshield and stopped at the top.
"Thank you!" Sam said.
"Right here?" Sonic asked as he stood on top of the windshield
"Further back!" Sam instructed, and Sonic kept moving to the back of the Rocket Car until he stopped on top of a round silver platform right behind the windshield.
"How's this?" Sonic asked.
"Great! Right there will do just fine!" Sam said, before pressing a yellow button with a chuckle.
SPROING!
The platform sprang up, sending Sonic flying to the sky, screaming.
Sam let out a laugh before saying, "Bye, Sonic!"
"Strange. What's Sonic doing? Why is he going the wrong way?" Scarlet asked as she saw Sonic flying in the air before turning to the camera. "It certainly isn't on tactic!"
On the Egg Fort II…
Eggman observed the whole race through his monitor, and laughed when he saw Sonic nearly losing.
"That Rocket Car is my kind of mean machine! Have to try that spring trick on Sonic myself!" the mad doctor admitted before taking out a notepad and writing down the idea. When he was done, he moved onto the real main event. "Okay, go Sumo-Man!"
Back in the race…
The racing trio was now speeding through the desert, picking up more speed. Right now, Deadpool was taking the lead, laughing all the way, and Sam was grumbling in irritation at being second place.
Deadpool kept laughing until a shadow loomed over the Dead-Buggy, prompting him to look up, and his eyes widened as he saw something huge and metallic falling from the sky, and mainly falling towards him.
Without taking his eyes off of the object, Deadpool put his hand on the radio and asked, "Weasel?"
"Yeah?" Weasel responded from the other side of the radio.
"You didn't happen to use adamantium while making this thing, did you?" Deadpool asked as the object got closer.
"No. Why?"
Sam picked up the speed when he saw a blue spec in the corner in his eye, which was getting closer, and he couldn't believe it.
"That can't be Sonic!" Sam shouted as the blue blur was picking up more speed when he suddenly heard an explosion in front of him, and he had time to see the Dead-Buggy spin in the air towards and above him.
The next thing that happened was that everything slowed down as the Dead-Buggy flew above the Rocket Car.
As the Dead-Buggy's windshield came into view, so did Deadpool, who stared at Sam with a glare in his mask even as he flew past him.
"Smart move, Sam!" Deadpool shouted sarcastically in a slow-motion voice before the speed returned to normal, and the Dead-Buggy rolled across the desert floor as Sonic dodged the out of control vehicle, which came to a perfect halt on its wheels.
That was when Sam noticed the large cloud of dust forming in front of them.
The dust cleared to reveal a large silver robot that had a mohawk styled piece on its head, a pair of yellow eyes with red irises, giant legs supporting its weight, and a pair of massive hands.
Its name: E-45 Sumo-Man.
"You may not pass! Turn back!" Sumo-Man demanded as he put his hands out.
"A road block?!" Sonic shouted in disbelief as he kept running.
"Hey!" Sam shouted before pressing a button that was labled "D" which caused the Rocket Car's stabilizers to shift downwards, scraping the ground in an attempt to stop.
"Turn back or be destroyed!" Sumo-Man threatened.
The Rocket Car sped towards Sumo-Man before submerging into the ground underneath him, and the only thing the giant robot did was push his hand forward into the air.
"Take that!" Sumo-Man shouted, believing he landed a hit on his target.
Suddenly, the Rocket Car burst from the ground unscathed and kept speeding, while Sam looked back at the dumb robot with a smirk.
"Sucker!" Sam taunted before speeding off.
Sumo-Man looked in shock at his failed attack before turning his attention to Sonic, who picked up the sped as he ran towards the giant robot.
"Stop now!" Sumo-Man demanded as Sonic ran closer. "I order you to stop and reverse all force now!"
Sonic kept running towards Sumo-Man, who brought his giant metallic hand down on him, only for the blue hedgehog to simply go under him and run to the direction where Sam sped off.
"How could I have missed Sonic?!" Sumo-Man shouted in shock and dismay.
Meanwhile, in the damaged Dead-Buggy, Deadpool began pushing buttons randomly and stomping repeatedly on the pedal and brakes, but to no avail.
"Drat! Double drat! Triple drat! And infinite drats! Why does it always end with the crazy one being last in the race?!" Deadpool hissed as he continued to get the controls up.
"Wade, you okay?" Weasel asked through the radio.
"Oh, I just got a minor scratch on my ride… OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!" Deadpool shouted all of a sudden. "The wheel's stuck, the controls are down, and I still can't turn on some tunes!"
"Calm down!" Weasel assured him. "You see that button in the middle of the radio?"
Deadpool looked closely at the radio and saw a tiny red button in the center. "Yeah, what about it?"
"Press it."
Deadpool complied and pressed the button, which caused the steering wheel's handles to straighten out, the seat began to lean back all the way, and finally he ejected from the middle of the Dead-Buggy while grabbing onto the handles.
The new vehicle was a motorcycle with the red and black paintjob from the damaged Dead-Buggy, now having handle bars that were once the steering wheel of the car, two huge wheels on the front supported by long telescopic forks and back, the seat from the car was now positioned to look like the traditional motorcycle seat, and finally, a single blade was attached on each side of the bike. Unlike an actual mororcyle, this new vehicle still retained the gas pedal and brakes from the Dead-Buggy, the former of which Deadpool stomped on, finally getting back to the race.
"Introducing the Pool-Cycle!" Weasel introduced, sounding like an ad spokesperson. "Packed with limited turbo engines, mounted arsenal, and a cup holder and tray on the sides!"
Deadpool let out a whistle before cheering, "Now this is a bike! Call the boys, bring the chicks, make some chimichangas! Party's on me tonight!"
Sumo-Man took notice of his final target and put his hands out even further.
"You! I command you to stop!" he demanded once more, but his efforts met with the same results, as Deadpool only drove under him.
"I thought sumos had skills!" Deadpool taunted. "But what the likes of you don't have is a brain!"
With that, the merc took off laughing after Sonic and Sam, while Sumo-Man looked on in despair.
"I cannot believe I missed Deadpool as well!" he said in horror. "Dr. Eggman will punish me! I have got to punish myself first!"
The giant robot delivered a punch to himself so hard that it sent him flying through the sky, screaming all the way.
Back on the Egg Fort II…
Bokkun began bawling like a baby at his humiliation at the hands of the smooching robot.
"That robot kissed me!" he whined as Decoe put a hand on his shoulder.
"Bokkun, it might have been a lot worse, you know?" Decoe asked with a smile in his eyes. "You could've been accidentally kissed by Dr. Eggman!"
"What a revolting thought!" Bocoe taunted as well.
"We blew it!" Eggman said in disappointment as he sat on his chair with his arms crossed.
"Well, good for me!" the kissing robot said. "I did my job!"
"Kiss off, you clown!" Eggman spat in annoyance at the robot.
That was when Sumo-Man appeared from out of the sky, still screaming before he landed on the control room of the aircraft, bending it a bit forward in the water.
Everyone lay there, dazed at the unexpected, but Eggman lay there in annoyance, but the kissing robot was unfazed in the slightest.
"Are you alright?" the kissing robot asked in concern. "Let me kiss to make you better!"
The robot began kissing the mad doctor's face, much to his increasing annoyance.
Back in the race…
Deadpool was able to catch up with Sonic and Sam, the latter of whom checked his watch.
"Wow! It's already lunchtime!" Sam exclaimed.
Just then, a compartment from the Rocket Car's dashboard opened, and a tray carrying a hamburger and a soda slid out, which Sam began to eat steadily as Sonic watched in confusion.
"Hey, you want a bite?" Sam asked as he held out his burger.
"No thanks!" Sonic denied before picking up the speed, leaving a trail of dust in his wake, only to feel his stomach grumble and put a hand to it. "Come to think of it, I am pretty hungry!"
"Hey, Sonic!" Chris' voice shouted.
Sonic looked up and saw Tails descending towards him on the X Tornado, while Chris held out a box and opened it.
"Ella sent some ham sandwiches and milk for ya!" the boy shouted.
Sonic smiled and put his hands out in order to reach the box of snacks.
"Wow, thanks, Chris! That looks delic-"
VROOM!
Sam suddenly sped past them, leaving a cloud of dust that covered them up, leaving them with shocked looks on their faces.
"My bad!" Sam taunted before speeding up.
"What's the matter, Sonic?" Deadpool asked as he sped past the shocked group. "Got dirt in your eyes?"
The merc let out another laugh before speeding up his Pool-Cycle as Sonic quickly shook off the dust.
"I'll pass on the sandwich!" the blue hedgehog growled.
"Sorry, Sonic!" Chris apologized as the X Tornado returned to the sky. "See you in the finish line!"
As soon as the aircraft left, Sonic picked up the speed until he finally caught up with Sam and Deadpool, as Scarlet and her cameraman continued to observe the race.
"This road race is still up for grabs as our racers speed through the canyon!" Scarlet stated.
The racing trio have indeed reached the canyon, speeding off the cliff and carefully treading downhill until they reached the bottom.
They all managed to reach the turning point, which was a rocky column in the center and a dead end behind it, taking a sharp turn around the column, while Deadpool himself was able to time his steering before unsheathing his left blade and driving it to the ground, allowing him to turn his Pool-Cycle around the turning point safely before he retracted the blade.
At the finish line…
The crowd filled the area with cheers, impressed by Deadpool's maneuverability; even Logan was impressed.
"Wish I could do that…" he said.
"Our racers have reached the halfway point and are now speeding back towards Station Square!" Scarlet announced as the screen displayed the racing trio going at the same speed. "Sonic, Deadpool and Sam Speed are still running neck and neck!"
The group looked on with concerned looks on their faces, uncertain of who will comeo ut as the winner.
As the camera crew were getting prepared to take pictures of the potential winners, Jerome checked his watch impatiently.
"What's taking the President so long?" he asked. "The race is going to finish soon!"
That was when his phone rang in his pocket and quickly answered it.
"Hello?" he asked, and as he listened to whoever he spoke to, he quickly had a look of surprise. "What?! But can't the President hold his security meeting later?! Alright, if it can't be changed…" he put his phone away, "…I'll fill in."
He began imagining himself having a paparazzi before him, taking interviews, and finally seeing himself as the new President, even taking his seat in his soon-to-be former office.
"It's just as well, I'm photogenic than the President anyway!" he said. "In fact, I'm more loveable than my boring boss too! I can use this race to launch my own campaign, then the world will call me Mr. President!"
He began to laugh triumphantly at his possible future, and then…
"What are you laughing at?"
He quickly snapped out of his imaginition land and saw Amy looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, nothing!" he lied, quickly putting his hands behind his back and chuckling, while Amy just looked towards the camera with a shrug.
Back in the race…
The racing trio make it back across the bridge, before returning to the streets to finish this race once and for all.
"Now the three challengers are racing into the city!" Scarlet stated. "And pulling out all the stops as they speed towards the stadium!"
At the finish line…
The crowd began cheering even louder, fully anticipating which of the three racers will emerge victorious, holding up signs that cheered for Sonic, a few wore Deadpool themed masks and shouting the merc's name, and others cheered on for Sam.
The gang only continued to look in concern; even though the trio have made it back, they were eager to see which of the three would win.
Back at the race…
The trio sped through the streets, hearts pounding as they tried to increase their own speed.
"Alright… it's rocket time!" Sam shouted as he pulled a lever, which caused the SSIII to spew its flames and increase the Rocket Car's speed.
"Look out! Sam Speed is pulling away!" Scarlet warned.
"Two can play at that game! Let's finish this!" Deadpool said as he pressed an orange button on the radio of the Pool-Cycle. "Engage ludicrous speed!"
The engine suddenly picked up the same speed as the Rocket Car, leaving Sonic last.
"Oh, yeah?!" Sonic challenged before picking up the speed in his feet.
The blue hedgehog was able to catch up to Sam and Deadpool, all growling to get to the finish line.
"My brains are going into my balls!" Deadpool whooped as he nearly leaned back from the speed he and his fellow competitors were going.
The finish line was just up ahead, and finally, the trio sped through the white line at the same time, and the crowd's cheers grew even louder and wilder.
"Well it looks like we have a tie!" Scarlet announced. "That was close!"
The racers slowed down and stared at the monitor.
"The judges will examine photos to see if they can determine a winner. The results will be posted on the stadium monitor!"
The photos began to slide forward, and showed Sonic leaping over the white line, holding his hands up victoriously, before noticing the camera and then jumping towards it, giving the "peace" sign before going out of frame and running next to the Rocket Car and the Pool-Cycle, which were just about to cross the finish line.
"Amazing!" Scarlet announced as the crowd cheered even more. "Sonic not only crossed the finish line first, but he went back for an encore! Sonic is the winner!"
The crowd cheered at the blue hedgehog, while Sam stared in surprise, and Deadpool only sat back in his Pool-Cycle with his hands behind his head.
"Congratulations!" Amy shouted before wrapping her arms around Sonic in a victory hug, much to the blue hedgehog's dismay.
"Uh, it's no big deal." he stammered.
"Oh, Sonic!" Lindsay congratulated, handing her bouquet to Sonic as Nelson clapped. "Well done!"
"Thanks a lot!" he said, flattered by the reward before turning to Sam, who had stepped out of the Rocket Car and shot him a thumbs up and a wink, and Sonic returned the gesture.
"Well, that was fun!" Deadpool admitted as he walked up. "Maybe playing dirty in a race doesn't always go as planned."
"Eh, at least it was fair at best." Sonic said with a shrug.
"Sorry you didn't win." Sam apologized.
"Ah, that's fine." Deadpool said with a throw of his hand. "You know, Sam, if you signed up to work with Vin Diesel, Paul would've been here to shake hands with us." he looked up to the sky and shouted, "Ya hear that, Paul?! This race was for you!"
The crowd cheered at the merc's respect for the fallen actor.
That was when Cujo ran at him and tackled him, licking at his mask excitedly.
"Okay, boy, easy!" Deadpool joked as he tried to pry his pet hyena off of him. "Just don't get too excited or I won't scratch your furry chucklenuts!"
"Good game, Wade!" Weasel congratulated.
"Badass!" Bob added.
"Hardcore, DP!" Dopinder cheered.
"You did it!" Vanessa said.
"I'll admit, that was epic." Negasonic smirked.
"Good moves out there." Logan added.
"You may not have won, but at least you helped earn more respect." Colossus admitted.
"Aw, you shouldn't have, Twinkly!" Deadpool said, causing Colossus to sigh annoyingly at the nickname.
"Sonic!" Jerome said as he walked up to the hedgehog with an extended hand. "That was just great!"
Sonic only stared at him with a raised eyebrow, as a camera crew were ready to take their pictures.
"Sonic, shake my hand!" Jerome whispered. "Hurry up so they can take our picture together!"
He quickly extended his hand once more, but Sonic still looked at him, before Jerome's phone went off.
"Hello?" he answered. "Oh! Hi there, Vivian!" a look of horror suddenly overcame his face. "WHAT?! I'm under investigation for negotiating with Dr. Eggman?!" the paparazzi suddenly began taking their pictures, as the disgraced secretary began to whine. "There's no way I'll be President now!"
"Oh, what a baby!" Deadpool taunted as he and Sonic appeared in front of the screen and gave a shrug at the viewers.
A/N: Back from the dead once again! And right after Deadpool 2 had been released! My graduation means more time to catch up with my stories!
Also, I hope you liked the introduction of Deadpool's new vehicle, the Dead-Buggy! It's actually based on the real Dead-Buggy from a Spider-Man/Deadpool crossover issue, in which Deadpool finds Spidey's old Spider-Mobile (Yes, it exists. Search it up.) and gives it a new paintjob. I decided to add a few changes to make it look more badass.
As always, with summer vacation and preparations for college, I'll be looking forward to updating my stories quicker, so stay tuned as always!