Chapter 7

It took more buses than Castiel had expected.

When he reached St. Louis, Sam and Dean were gone. He arrived just in time to find out that they had been arrested. In Iowa. So Castiel took another bus, cursing his helplessness in the face of motorized transportation. He didn't understand how humans could stand it. How Sam and Dean could. Though Castiel had to admit, the Impala, with its comfortably worn seats, would have been an improvement. No public bus could hope to compare. When Castiel finally stepped onto the pavement in Iowa, he hoped he would never have to ride in a bus again.

The streets were in a subdued kind of turmoil. It wasn't hard to guess why.

Castiel followed the sidewalk, eyeing every storefront he passed as a new and alien thing. He had never paid much attention to any town he entered before and it had been months since he saw more than the shelter and the park and the cluttered box that was Walmart. And the church. He would have to find a new one. After.

He sought out signs of the Winchester's presence. Everything would have been so much easier if he had full use of his senses. He sighed. The last newspaper he read claimed they'd been arrested in this town.

Castiel stepped in front of the first person he saw. "Where is the police station?"

The young man shook the long fringe of hair from his eyes before looking Castiel up and down. "I don't know," he said with a half formed sneer. Then he shoved past Castiel and continued on his way. "You look like a freakin' lumberjack," the boy grumbled under his breath.

Castiel inspected the red and green plaid shirt he still wore. He had forgotten to change at the last stop he made but he didn't see anything amiss with his clothing otherwise. The material was soft and it reminded him of the clothing that Sam and Dean generally wore. He smoothed a hand down his shirt and prepared to try his inquiries again.

When Castiel turned around a man with grey hair was standing there. "Kids these days, huh? No respect."

The man paused, obviously expecting some sort of response, so Castiel nodded. "Yes."

It seemed to be the correct answer. The man gave a nod of his own and pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "Police station is two blocks that way. Turn left at the light. Can't miss it."

"Thank you." Castiel was gone almost before the man had finished talking.

He found the police station without much trouble, helped along nicely by the large sign out front. But he pulled up short. A van with large block letters on the side sat just outside the police station, a woman positioned beside it with microphone in hand. In front of her, a man wielding a large camera recorded every word. Castiel could hear her even at the distance.

"The Winchester's crime spree came to a violent end last night when both suspects were shot and killed…"

Castiel dropped to the curb where he stood. The world shattered around him all over again at the reporter's words. It took another moment before Castiel was capable of forming coherent thoughts.

Being cut off from Heaven, Castiel had no way of checking on the state of the Winchester's souls directly. But, he hoped, perhaps he could find a way without Heaven's assistance.

He pulled out his new cell phone, staring intently at the keys before he dialed. Bobby Singer would know if Sam and Dean were truly dead. So Castiel dialed and the phone rang. When there was the click of an answer he felt like exalting. Until a voice on the line said, "The number you have dialed is no longer in service…"

He hung up before the message finished and dialed again, more quickly this time. Again and again, he got the same message in different voices. Every phone number had been changed. Not one gave him anything but an emotionless recording telling him that he was alone.

After the last number was dialed, Castiel stood motionless for a long time. He had come so far. Castiel bent his gaze back to the sky, searching it for answers.

"…when all logic said that he was dead. But I knew in my heart that he was still alive."

Dean's words drifted back slowly, a half forgotten memory that they had shared once.

"Who cares what some Ninja Turtle says, Cas? What do you believe?"

"I believe he's out there."

"Good. Then go find him."

They had been talking about God then, in a different time, almost in a different world. When the apocalypse loomed large on the horizon and the Winchesters still trusted in Castiel. In a world where he had not lost his mind. But even if they had lost their faith in him, he had not lost his in them. Sam and Dean were still alive. Somewhere. He just had to find them.

Castiel was lost so deeply in thought that he almost missed it. It came like a scent on the breeze. Familiar. Unwelcome. And terrifying.

He pivoted slowly to watch the creature pass not twenty feet in front of him.

Leviathan.

It looked like a man, blond, clean cut and well dressed. But inside it was a monster.

Castiel's first inclination was to attack. Smite first, ask questions later, Dean had called it once. But just as quickly as he started to move, Castiel stopped. He was nearly powerless and the memory of the monsters writhing beneath his vessel's flesh was too fresh to ignore. The sickening feel of it. There had been hundreds of them then, it was true, but he had been greater too. And still they had bested him. He hadn't been strong enough to hold them back. He had ended one war and begun another with his foolishness.

He only wished he knew how to make things right again.

Castiel waited in silence until the monster had passed, body tense with the desire to lash out. His fists clenched but his sword would not come to hand. The urge nearly overwhelmed him.

Then his phone jangled in his pocket. He answered it without looking at the display, eyes still locked on the last place he had seen the Leviathan.

"Oh, thank God!" Bonnie's voice gasped from the phone, strange and unexpected. "You didn't call. It's been days. And I just heard. About your friends…" She trailed off as if she'd run out of incomplete sentences.

Silence stretched between them.

"Hello?" she asked after a moment. "Are you still there? Castiel?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"No." His jaw clenched achingly tight. The nearness of the monster was making it hard to focus on anything else. The memory of it hung in the air like acrid smoke.

"I just saw the news about your friends. I'm sorry."

"They're not dead."

"Wait, what?" Bonnie paused. "But the news said… Are you sure?"

"They are mistaken. I would know. If Sam and Dean had died, I would know. I would feel it."

Without warning, Bonnie started to laugh. "You say the craziest things with a straight face, Castiel. I can picture it. Bet you've got the broody forehead going and everything. But somehow, I believe you. Don't know why but I do. Maybe I'm as crazy as you." She chuckled again before getting herself under some semblance of control. "So what are you going to do now?"

He hadn't thought that far yet, nearly overcome with his latest setback, so he was silent for a long moment while he gave it consideration. When it came, the answer seemed obvious. "I will go to Bobby's house."

Author's Note: First, on a technical note, the conversation that Castiel refers to comes from the episode Free to Be You and Me. And of course, for more details on the supposed death (again) of the Winchesters please refer back to the episode Slash Fiction.

That's all we have for today, folks. This chapter took a lot longer to sort out than I expected. It all seemed so simple. And then I started writing. The story veers further and further into AU territory with each chapter but honestly I'm curious to see where the trail leads. Oops, did I give too much away? I admit it. I don't quite know where I'm going yet. I guess I'll figure it out when I get there. But in the meantime, I sure am having fun with Castiel and his nearly human status. He's probably having considerably less fun with it...

Thanks again to all the people who review, favorite, or put this on story alert. You're awesome and deserve a Dean sized slice of pie in the flavor of your choosing. Mmm, pie.

And in conclusion: Hurray for the official announcement of Supernatural getting an 8th season! My excitement knows no bounds.