Hitori ni Shinaide

by Sylentia Levin

Ruki had mistaken his love for Reita and indirectly broken the bassist’s heart. Their close friendship is endangered, but Uruha had always managed to be there for Ruki. Feelings start to grow, but what happens when a bit of forgotten past comes back?

7. Lachrymosa

Chapter 7 : Lachrymosa

Sorry it took me so long to update! I lost every single file in my laptop and it included the HnS series too… Well, here it is then, I did my best into trying to make my readers cry, and I hope this'll stir your emotions somewhat… It didn't stir mine that much, but well, I did my best. Here ya go everyone, and sorry if it's too short. I personally thought that the last one I made was better, but since it's deleted… I'll just have to suck it up and live. T_T

IT TOOK ONE DAMN YEAR! _ We've passed this story's birthday already.. Well, anyways.

IMPORTANT NOTE :

1. This whole chapter is written in Engrish because Ruki faltered my English… Beware of grammar mistakes too.

2. SHIN-CHAN = SHINYA = KANON because Sano Shinya is Kanon's real name. No other Shinyas or Shin-chans will be used in this chapter except for Kanon's real name.

---

"Ao-kun… There's a…" Kai mumbled out of the blue, tugging at Aoi's wrist, referring to the loudly beeping heartbeat indicator, the stats clearly showing that Kanon's heartbeat was somehow going a tad slower than normal. In response to Kai's mumble, Aoi merely nodded and entangled their fingers together to calm the young drummer. But yes, his lover was right; the presence of the electronic clearly emphasized Bou and Takuya's word of "critical". The only thing making Aoi wonder was this; how could the AnCafe ex-leader seem so calm, as if he'd embrace death willingly? He was only seconds away from it!

Maybe he would, Aoi thought darkly, but soon regretted the thought when Uruha got on his feet in a split of a second at the exact time the indicator stopped beeping and merely let out a monotonic tone that only indicated one thing. Everyone in the room then panicked; with the AnCafe members panicking all the more. Yuuki had rushed out to get a nurse and the doctor while Bou had already started crying hysterically again. The blonde guitarist immediately rushed over to his kouhai's side, hovering over his body, not able to accept the fact that had already gotten into everyone's mind. It was too late, and everyone knew it.

Kanon has already gone.

---

As Uruha fell back limply onto the seat behind him Reita knew he could never ever forget the disappointment he caught at that exact moment. The shock reflected in the honey-brunette's face was just so touching your heart would be ripped in pieces without you knowing what you're grieving for exactly…

"Uruha…" Aoi mumbled from beside the bassist, and as if catching on what Aoi wants to do, Kai stepped forward, seemingly calm in between the panic and hysterical wails, and the drummer walked through the mess towards his stunned rhythm guitarist, grabbing him by the shoulders and hauling him up in a motherly way, gentle but demanding, into his strong arms. Seemingly too stunned to protest, Uruha blindly let himself be guided out by his Leader-sama out the hospital room, Aoi tailing behind the two. Reita had only dropped back to share his condolences with Tatsuya and Amaya before following his band mates out the door with Ruki behind him. The vocalist didn't know why, but he just couldn't bring himself to either cry not feel sad; he just felt… nothing.

Seeing Amaya quietly sobbing onto Tatsuya's shoulder, seeing Bou wail loudly as he hovered over Kanon's body, seeing Reita so lost and seeing Uruha's deep grief… Why couldn't Ruki feel anything? Why was he not affected? Even Aoi and Kai seemed to be a tiny bit depressed, but why couldn't I…?

Wait… Ruki frowned as he felt something warm glide over his cheeks, What is…?

But just as he realized what the warm liquid was, Reita walked up to him and crouched so that it seemed as if Ruki was towering over him, and surprisingly, the bassist smiled. He smiled as he looked up sadly into Ruki's adorable frowning face and cupped his cheek, his thumb gently swiping over the bottom of Ruki's left eye.

"Tears, huh?"

"I'm not crying."

"Sure you're not."

---

Uruha was silent as he allowed his chiyu to stroke his hair and hum him a song. He was too deep in his thoughts to notice anything else.

Gone…

Forever…

You left me behind, here, all alone… Where I'm never to meet you again…

I'm sorry…

I'm so sorry…

There wasn't a thing I could do!

Why did you have to go so soon? We've only met, haven't we? We've just… I've promised to make it up to you, to make it all better again… Is this reprisal because I've left you in the past? You're making sure life was a living hell for me by leaving me in return now?

A living hell…

That was what it all must've been to you in the past, wasn't it? I loved you…

And I still do… I know you knew…

Then why…?

Why?

And slowly, ever so gracefully slowly, a small tear escaped his almond-shaped, almost cat-like eyes, and it was closely followed by a second… and a third… and a fourth… Until all of his pent-up emotions ran down his smooth cheeks in a beautiful rain… Even though the delicate fingers threading through his hair should've soothed and calmed him down, it sadly didn't, and he was slowly starting to wonder whether he could ever live on without looking back to his beloved one…

But even though tears streamed down his beautiful face, even though his breath had become hitched; no sobs had emerged, no shake of the shoulders occurred. Was he crying? Nobody could tell.

Not even Uruha himself.

---

Reita sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the livingroom. Both he and Ruki had succeeded into bringing a very mute Uruha home in the most pathetic condition they could ever imagine, and now said guitarist was in his room with Ruki, doing God-knows-what. But as if Reita would care. No, there were other things on his mind, other, more pathetic things on his mind.

Everything was a mess. A total, down-to-earth mess. The bassist just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at the hospital; how Uruha had faintly struggled and refused to leave Kanon's side before finally giving in and allowing himself to be carried away… He wouldn't even speak. Not a single word. He had just sat there, in the back seat, clinging hopelessly to Reita while Ruki drove them home. He had been as meek as a lamb, and it was as if he had spoken to Death itself. It even seemed as if he had begged Death to take him along as well; he did not seem to have the will to talk, move, live, let alone breathe. But he couldn't just suffocate himself now, could he?

No, it wasn't as if Suzuki Akira were talking ill about his own best friend who had stood by him through thick and thin, through each and every downfall, no, it was just that he pitied and felt sorry for his friend. Not even once in his life had he remembered his Shima-kun this dead and pathetic over a mere lover, and he had known Uruha for practically 2/3 part of his life! The Kouyou he had known wasn't like this! Takashima Kouyou was stubborn; he knew what he wanted and he always stood up for himself or for anything he knew was right! Kouyou wouldn't let himself be broken so easily; Kou was confident and he was self-paced because he was certain in everything that he did.

But now…

The Takashima Kouyou in front of him wasn't stubborn. He was still self-paced, but he didn't stand up for himself, he was unconfident, he doesn't know what he wants, he was so broken; hell, he wasn't even alive! Takashima Kouyou, Uruha, Shima-kun, Kou, or whatever the hell you'd like to call him, was dead. As lifeless as his lover, who had taken a piece of him as he went to the other side.

"Kuso…" Reita cursed silently, letting himself slide down the wall, sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest. He could feel the tears slowly welling up, but wasn't exactly surprised to not feel them spill over the rim of his sharp eyes; he had cried more than enough in the hospital. He had cried for the loss, he had cried for Kanon, he had cried for the sake of himself, but moreover, he had cried for Uruha. Sure, call it cheesy, but it was the truth. It just hurt, to see your best friend - no, Uruha was more than a friend, more than a brother – broken like this. It wrenched his heart so much…

"Reita-kun?" a heavy voice called quietly from the direction of the hall, and Reita opened his eyes just enough to see Ruki walking towards him in small steps, seemingly as dead as Uruha's had been…

"Taka-chan?" he managed to croak out as the chibi vocalist knelt beside him, "Where's Kou?"

"Ah… He's… He's asleep…" Ruki sighed, forcing a small smile, even though he could tell it was sad without having to look in a mirror or see it in the reflection of Reita's eyes. Speaking of which, he didn't see any flicker of life in those brown orbs, either. He seemed as dead as Uruha was, though Ruki could see his dirty-blonde friend was still fuelled alive by hope and his never ending will to live. When Reita started using real names, Ruki knew that there was something wrong, and this time, the chibi blonde didn't have to guess what it was or why.

It was a painful stab in his heart as well, to see both of his friends like this, but he had to stay strong, no matter how much hurt he had… He always had stayed strong and he'll always will. He had gone through much more than they had, had he not?

"I guess he's just tired… Emotional breakdowns can suck the life out of you," Ruki tried to joke, emitting a small bitter chuckle, hearing Reita do the same. It felt awkward. For them both, especially. It felt as if the tables have turned. Ruki was usually being the obvious victim, for he was the most sensitive and delicate from the three of them. Both Reita and Uruha would then stand up for him and try to bring him back to normal by any means possible. But now it was Ruki trying to bring everything back to normal while Reita were struggling his own feelings and Uruha was having an emotional breakdown.

"Yeah… I guess it does…" Reita said tiredly, "How is he, though?"

"He's…" Ruki hesitated, "Okay, I guess. Spilled a few tears, and all - not that he cried, but I guess it's a start…" the blonde sighed, "If he's starting to show feelings then the shock might be fading bit by bit…"

Another uncomfortable silence then fell between them once again. As I said, it was awkward, to be switching roles like this. After a moment, the Aquarius finally sighed and shifted a tiny bit, his curious chocolate eyes gazing upon his older friend, and noticed that Reita was fidgeting with his fingers. Ruki could immediately tell that his friend was nervous. Feeling rather uncomfortable himself, Ruki then kneeled and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Reita's neck, catching the bassist by surprise.

"Ruki…?" the Gemini stuttered out at the sudden act, not daring to believe what he was experiencing. Hadn't Ruki avoided as much physical contact as he could, ever since that kiss that Reita had stolen from him only a few months ago? The innocent hug at the hospital did not count; it was a situation where the vocalist needed comfort. But this hug was… consciously done! It was…

"Gomen…" the Aquarius mumbled as he nuzzled the crook of the bassist's neck, "Just thought you needed a hug… At least I do."

---

Reita sighed as he wrapped his arms around a silent Uruha's waist, the honey-brunette's eyes empty and void of all emotion, an untouched plate lying on the bed-side table not too faraway from them. It was only eight p.m. and the sky was already dark outside; Reita had now started to worry. It had been an hour since he had tried to make his best friend eat; to no avail, of course, and Uruha had only accepted two spoonfuls of rice before he refused to eat more and the honey-brunette had then attached himself to Reita, his long arms wrapped around the bassist's well-built torso and broad shoulders. A week or so has already passed and Uruha didn't get any better at all; he got even worse. He refused to eat more as the days passed, until it came to the point where Reita had to practically feed him; the exact thing that he was doing right now.

It was sad, really, the way Uruha clung to him like a lost child, holding on tightly as if he had lost his way in life. Reita could feel the rhythm guitarist's loss and that was why he didn't shift or tried to get Uruha off of him, he just stayed there and ran his fingers through Uruha's long hair in manner he hoped was soothing. If the situation wasn't this sad, pathetic or ironic, Reita knew that he would at least have chuckled at the way they were now. Though he seemed indifferent about his very close relationship with Uruha on the outside, he's actually quite amazed in the inside.

Maybe the fifteen-year factor counted - since they've been best friends for over fifteen years - but Reita had slowly come to realize that he somehow could "read" Uruha's mind and that he can also know and recognize the way Uruha's brain is working… And then there were those times when he can feel what Uruha's feeling, even though they're faraway. When Reita had confessed this to said brunette, the more female-looking Gemini had merely laughed and jokingly suggested that they were separated twins. Even though Uruha seemed to not mean it when he said it, the bassist knew that Uruha actually knew and felt the same way too; he just didn't want to think about it.

"Reita-kun?" a heavy voice, though soft-sounding, spoke up from the doorway and Reita looked up to see Ruki biting his lip while letting the doorsill support most of his weight. By the blinking and sleepy-looking eyes, Reita could tell that Ruki still didn't manage to get enough sleep even though the bassist had sent said little blonde off to get some rest the whole day. Ruki didn't get enough sleep yesterday, but he probably went off to finish his work today…

"Yeah?"

"Is he eating?" Ruki asked, yawning quite broadly before making his way over to the two blondes and flopping himself down beside Uruha, taking the plate onto his lap. Said rhythm guitarist then detached himself as soon as Ruki sat down. The vocalist was already dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a black shirt with his cute glasses adorning his already adorable face.

"Um, no, not really," Reita mumbled, "Why don't you go and try it?" he asked, silently hoping inside his heart that Ruki will not ask him why he was allowing Uruha to hug him. Ruki luckily didn't, and obliged to Reita's words by gently stroking Uruha's cheek to get his attention.

"Hey, I know you're not feeling okay, but I really need you to eat, Shima-kun," Ruki gently said in a patient though tired voice, "I've been through this when I lost Reila but I want you to stay strong, okay? Please, for me?"

And Reita watched as Uruha's expression softened and as the tall male gave a nod and a barely-there smile. It was weird how easily his best friend could succumb to the little blonde Aquarius, but then again, Uruha was unique like that, and he did have a certain soft-spot for Ruki and Aoi… One thing which even Reita was a bit envious of… But he didn't have more time to ponder about his jealousy when he got shaken out of his thought by the sound of the doorbell. As he slightly jumped at the sound, he could also see Ruki and Uruha looking up at the sound, and Reita suddenly felt as if he wanted to get out of there.

"Uhh…" Reita scratched the back of his head, "I'll get it. You just keep on feeding Uruha, ok?" and with that, the dirty-blonde ruffled up his own hair in half-frustration as he sauntered over through the hall and living room to the front door. It just couldn't occur to him as of who in the hell would bother to come over to anybody's place above six p.m. Sighing, Reita opened the door and frowned as he saw the company that arrived.

"Miyavi? What are you…?" Reita tried, but his boyfriend succeeded into shutting him up with a small smile and gesture, and suddenly. . .

"Voila!" Miyavi grinned as he managed to conjure a sheepish Kai and a cool Aoi from beside him, shoving Reita's two band members in front of him, "I called and brought them over. I know how much of a pain Ruki was when he lost his girlfriends and I had this feeling that Uruha might be similar so I did what did and I came along as well cause I've missed you so much and I've not seen you for months so here I am with them, and I think that they were planning on a few band-stuff before I came but since I was more thinking about visiting, I - Mmppff!"

"He gets the picture, Meevs," Aoi cut Miyavi's adorable rant off as he closed his palm over said solo-guitarist's mouth, patting Reita's shoulder while letting himself in, "Take a breather before you run out of air," kicking off his shoes into the corner. Kai looked at his lover with a disapproving glare, but he then decided to ignore it by smiling sweetly to Reita and making his way inside in a politer way than Aoi had done, walking inside and smacking his boyfriend on the head as soon as he got near, glaring softly before turning back to Reita, wanting to ask how Uruha was and where Ruki is now, to only spot him and Miyavi in a heated lip-lock.

O_O ?

"Ehh…" the two ravens sweatdropped, standing still for a moment as if not knowing what to do, getting caught-up in the moment just by looking at the two lovebirds, before Aoi snapped out of it and hooked his arm around Kai's waist, pulling him away towards the hall where Uruha's room was located.

"Uhm, sweetie, let's go find Uruha, shall we…"

"Uh… Yeah. Yeah, let's do that," Kai mumbled in agreement, failing to tear his gaze away from the erotic sight before finally succeeding when Aoi forced his body to turn around and follow his steps. The sight was just too disturbing - but also arousing at the same time - to watch, and Aoi had cursed himself inwardly for not realizing at first hand what actually could happen when a hormone-high Miyavi met an easily-aroused Reita.

As he steered Kai towards Uruha's room, he could faintly hear a quiet though seemingly exciting one-sided dialogue powered by what it seems to be Ruki. The faint noises sounded quite happy, and as the two ravens stepped in, they both could see that Ruki was feeding Uruha lovingly, and even though the process seemed to be slow and Uruha still didn't seem to be listening to Ruki with that blank, emotionless face of his, he at least was willing to eat and that sight made Kai sigh in relief.

"Uruha can never say no to Ruki, can he?" Kai mumbled, "Even though he still won't talk," and added in, to which Aoi hummed an agreement to before the older one fully stepped inside the room and turned the attention to him.

"Heya Ru!" he greeted the vocalist, whom immediately turned to him and smiled broadly.

"Ah, Aoi-san!" he replied with a weary smile, "Kai-kun, too. What're you guys doing here? Who did you come with?" he asked, putting the plate aside.

"We arrived with Miyavi, actually," Kai answered, stepping forward to stand beside Aoi, "He called us and wanted us to come over as well."

"Well where is he right now?"

"In the livingroom making out with Reita," Aoi stated bluntly, to which Ruki giggled cutely. Kai shoved him gently in the ribs for his outburst, but he was still smiling nonetheless. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to his honey-brunette guitarist, and sighed as he shoved his palms in his back pockets.

"Is he finally eating now?" Kai asked, referring to the plate beside Ruki, "Reita told me about his… condition… I…"

"Yeah," Ruki cut his leader off, "Yeah, he's eating. Makes life easier on my part," the vocalist sighed, before shaking his head, not caring whether Uruha actually listened or not. He seemed rather bothered and tired, and that was exactly how Ruki was feeling right now. Everything was just messed up inside his head. It just added up to his worries. A messed up guitarist, a delayed single, a nagging management, lack of sleep, stress, unfinished album covers, plus he wasn't feeling that good. He stood up, bent down to kiss Uruha gently on his cheek, and walked out of the room, passing Kai.

"Hey! Ruki-san - !" the drummer had wanted to call out, but stopped in mid-sentence as Ruki turned around and gave him a tired look.

"I'm gonna go check Reita and make sure he doesn't make a mess of my kitchen or livingroom," he sighed, explaining since he could already guess Kai's question, "You coming?" before turning back around and walking out the hall. Sighing, Kai shook his head and followed Ruki out, jogging a tad bit since he could sense that there was something wrong with his vocalist. Watching his boyfriend walk out the door, Aoi let out the breath he was holding and let Kai out. He could also see that there was something wrong and he could sense that Ruki was actually close to tears. Why that was he couldn't really find out. Turning his attention to Uruha, he walked over and sat beside him, taking the plate and putting it away. Uruha had in the meanwhile already gathered his knees to his chest, hugging it insecurely with his chin resting on his knees. His eyes were still empty, and somehow, the sight was simply killing Aoi.

"Yo, Uruha-kun," he called, gently smiling and fixing his gaze onto the brunette, but all he got in response was a shift from Uruha's eyes, who fixed its mahogany orbs onto him, but that was it. There was no other movement, no other sign of life, that was it. Sighing, Aoi decided to try again.

"Oh come on, don't give me that cold look, you're scaring me," he added in gently, "I came all the way here to meet you, you could at least appreciate it by looking at me?" he tried to coax some movement out of the brunette, but still, nothing happened. Aoi bit his lower lip and moved to touch Uruha's hand, to check whether the kid really was still alive, and finally, slowly, Uruha moved. He turned and faced Aoi, with his hands laid onto his one leg that was on the bed while he left the other dangling off it, his gaze still rather emotionless even though it wasn't that blank anymore. The melody guitarist gave a satisfied smile and brushed his kouhai's cheek gently with the back of his hand. "That's it… It's much better to talk like this, ne?" he smiled, staring right into the eyes of his kouhai who seemed to gain a bit more interest into the conversation, "So, how you've been holding up? Are you still not over him yet?" he asked, but as usual there was no response.

Aoi pursed his lips, "Uruha?" he called, and after a few minutes, Uruha finally gave a very small, barely-there sigh, and gave a teeny-tiny shake of his head to answer Aoi's question. No, he is still not over Kanon and he cannot forget him for the time being. The raven seemed to be able to understand his feelings, though, and he merely gave an understanding look.

"Is it too hard?" Aoi asked again, and this time Uruha openly nodded. I mean, how could Aoi even ask that? It's obviously more obvious that anything in the world! He had done too many things to hurt his lover, he had left him behind without a single explanation, stayed quiet to him, and now when they had met each other again, he couldn't hold onto the love they had, he couldn't protect him, he couldn't be there by Kanon's side, telling him everything's gonna be alright even though he knows it won't be; he had hurt him too much! And Aoi's now asking whether it's too hard for him? Of course it is!

"You're feeling guilty aren't you?" Aoi tried again, and all he got this time was another curt nod. It was obvious that Uruha was feeling very guilty as Aoi saw the shifty eyes as if the honey-brunette was trying to look back into the past, regretting every single thing he did, wishing he could undo it and start all over again…

"But why? Uruha, can't you tell me why?" Aoi asked, determined to have Uruha do more than just nod. Uruha obviously shook his head violently at Aoi's request, but as always, when the Aquarius male was determined, he will do anything to get it done, even it takes a lot of patience, which he usually doesn't have. So he deeply inhaled, calmed himself down, and gathered his courage to reach out. He gently stroked Uruha's now limp, unkempt hair, and kept on talking.

"Why not…? I don't see why you can't…?" he tried, deciding that to provoke Uruha may be the best way to make him talk, "I just don't see it. It has nothing to do with you, I do not think that you were wrong, I think it was his fault," Aoi stated bluntly, and at this, Uruha's stern gaze shot up, not daring to believe his ears, Aoi words. His eyes started to faintly show hurt, disbelief, pain, anger, and all kind of emotions. But at this reaction, the older raven actually started to feel a bit happy. So it's evil to say it, but was it wrong to say that he was happy to see the emotions in Uruha's eyes, after the long days of having to stare into a quiet, blank pair of eyes? It hurt the raven's heart, that he had to be saying these awful things, knowing that he was speaking ill of someone he was fond of, knowing that he was stabbing Uruha's heart, feelings and soul.

"It was his own fault, Uruha. If he had told you sooner, you could've done something about it. If he hadn't lied to you, if he had the will to run after you, then years ago everything wouldn't have been like this! If he'd only…" Aoi pushed on, but he was suddenly cut off.

"It wasn't his fault! It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't! Shin-chan didn't do anything wrong! It was mine and mine only, Aoi, mine!" Uruha shouted out of the blue, referring to Kanon with his real name, leaning forward angrily as he drove his fist into the mattress in front of him with rage. How could Aoi say that? He didn't know anything, nothing! It wasn't Kanon's fault at all! He was still a kid at the time, and he still is now! Uruha was the older one, Uruha was the one who walked away from him! Uruha was to blame, not Kanon!

Obviously, saying that Uruha was outraged is an understatement. And Aoi knew that as soon as he captured the enraged, frustrated, wild look in the honey-brunette's eyes, and seeing Uruha beat up the mattress like that actually started to scare him. Sure, he finally got a reaction out of the beautiful Gemini male, a real reaction, but was this the reaction he had expected? Giving Uruha an outlet to his rage was good, great even, because pent-up emotions can cause severe stress but using acts of violence wasn't really the first choice of outlet Aoi'd choose. Angry tears had even started to form in the rim of Uruha's beautiful mahogany cat-like eyes. If this continued, the Gemini beauty could end up hurting Aoi… Or maybe even himself.

Aoi knew that he had to stop this.

"Hey, hey, hey," Aoi reached out, grabbing one of Uruha's wrists forcefully, "Calm down, love. You could hurt somebody, or even yourself. Hey! Stop it, Uruha, stop it!" the raven demanded, pulling Uruha to his chest by that one wrist, "Kouyou! Yamero yo!" resulting into the younger one burying his sobbing face into Aoi's left shoulder with his wrist on his own chest, Aoi still holding it. But you wouldn't call the honey-brunette Uruha if you'd think that he'd give in just like that. Still frustrated and insecure, the beauty started to thrash around in Aoi's hold.

"Let me go! Yuu!" he yelled, demanding for his senpai to let him go, repeatedly punching Aoi's other shoulder in rage, tears starting to fall in a beautiful stream across his smooth cheek. Even though Aoi did wince at the painful punches, he didn't let go of Uruha's wrist, but merely stayed still, waiting for Uruha to calm down.

"You don't know anything!" Uruha continued, "And you dare blame him and say it was all his fault? What do you know? All you see is that he's just another musician, don't you see what he means to me?" the honey-brunette kept on punching and yelling as Aoi continued staying silent as a statue.

The others suddenly came rushing in, bunching up at the entrance of the room, panicking as they heard the yells coming from Uruha's room. They were of course surprised when they saw the crying, angry Uruha punching Aoi's shoulder with everything that he's got, and Aoi noticed them standing by the door. Kai gave him a questioning, panicked look, but Aoi merely answered with a small shake of the head, closing his eyes as he did, indicating that the four of them should just stay put and let everything go with the flow.

In the meanwhile, Uruha's punches started to become weaker and weaker and his sobs started to become louder, as Ruki's guardian angel started to realize how comfortable it was in the Aquarius' embrace, how secure he felt, how he felt as if everything was alright. He felt as if his late lover was here with him, he could feel him, he could taste the scent of his perfume, he could feel the tenderness… It all was just… There. Too overwhelmed, Uruha started to feel so weak he stopped his punches and finally just sat there in Aoi's embrace, crying his heart out onto his senpai's broad shoulder. At this, Aoi noticed that Uruha had started to calm down so he slowly moved to put his free arm around Uruha's shoulder, embracing him tighter, stroking the younger one's honey-brunette hair soothingly, hushing him in a motherly way, trying to calm him down.

"Hush, hush… You're right, I don't know anything. I'm sorry Kou, I didn't mean to blame Kanon… But I didn't know anything… How could I know if you won't tell me?" Aoi spoke up on a calm whisper, trying to get the conversation going, "Would you please tell me?" he requested gently, and he waited patiently for Uruha to answer, because this time, he knew that Uruha will speak up.

"N - Not now," Uruha answered through his hiccups, still slightly crying, "La - Later. I - don't wanna…" but he seemed to be unable to continue his sentence so Aoi shushed him again and smiled to himself.

"Daijoubu na, wakarimashita. Just tell me when you're ready, ne?"

---

Aoi sighed as he closed Uruha's bedroom door behind him a good fifteen minutes later, walking out through the hall and into the living room. When Uruha was going through his emotional breakdown earlier, the other four had of course seen everything, and it was obvious that whatever Aoi did - cause they didn't know that Aoi actually provoked Uruha - meant progress for the rhythm guitarist. Crying and talking were at least apparent signs of life and it was better than nothing at all. They had all moved to the living room when Uruha had calmed down and Aoi had motioned for them to go.

"How is he?" Kai immediately asked, getting to his feet as he sensed his lover enter the vicinity. The other three immediately stood up as well, worry etched on their faces, curious as to what had happened in the room earlier. It was relieving but worrying as well; of course they had seen the emotional break down coming, but they had never actually imagined that Uruha would go and use violence to the people around him… And to think that he ticked off just because Aoi talked to him…

Aoi sighed, "He's doing fine, guys," he answered, curling his arm around Kai's waist as the drummer approached, "He's finally talking and he promised to tell me everything when he's ready… But if we had to do it by this means then it's simply exhausting."

"Well, at least you've succeeded into bringing Uruha 'back to life', so to say…" Miyavi smiled a little as Kai guided Aoi onto the sofa he was sitting on earlier and the solo-guitarist sat back down beside his lover and Ruki.

"It's more progress than what I -" Ruki spoke up, but halted as he realized what he said, "I mean, than what we had managed so far," the chibi Aquarius rephrased his words quickly, his eyes showing a certain uncertainty. The vocalist surely hoped that nobody really noted what he had said earlier - even though he suspected Reita to be the world's best listener. Luckily, though, Kai spoke up just in time before the bassist even had the time to open his mouth and think Ruki's words over.

"Yes, it certainly is…" Kai mumbled in thought, "Maybe Uruha's admiration towards you is playing a role in all this, Ao-kun," the drummer suggested, fixing his big, sweet, chocolate-soft brown eyes on his lover, "Or you're just such a sweet talker that whatever you said had managed to trigger Uruha-san's emotions," the mother of the band shrugged, "It's either one of the two."

"Wait wait wait, admiration?" Aoi repeated, ridiculing his lover's usage of words, "Uruha doesn't admire me, come on!"

"Yes he does," Miyavi grinned teasingly, agreeing with Kai, "It's not that obvious, but you'll notice if you'd try," the solo-guitarist hinted, but Aoi merely frowned at the answer and seemed more confused than earlier. A sigh was suddenly heard from Ruki, though, as the young one seemed to understand what Miyavi was saying.

"Yeah, whatever, that's not important right now, alright?" the small Aquarius waved in dismissal, "What we have to figure out right now is how to keep this progress up," he stated clearly, looking around, "So do any of you have an idea?"

There was nothing but silence for a few minutes, seeing as they were all thinking over what to say, until Reita suddenly brought his hand together loudly and exclaimed, "I've got it!" quite loudly, his eyes bright accompanied with a smile so huge it rivalled the open bedroom door.

"Got what?" Miyavi chimed in, and Reita turned to face all of them in slight excitement, even though it could clearly be seen that he's very serious.

"Well, seeing as Aoi's the one who managed to breathe some life into him, what do you say if he stayed here for a day or two, to see how everything will go?" the bassist suggested with a huge smile, "With Kai-kun's permission, of course," he added in, locking eyes with Kai, who seemed to be weighing the options, "If it turns out that this was just a coincidence and it's just about time that Uruha had his emotional breakdown, Aoi'll just go back home. But if there are obvious signs of improvement…"

"Then Ao-san should stay here until Uru-kun's all better, no?" Miyavi continued for his boyfriend as he could read Reita's thoughts, to which said bassist nodded.

"So, how about it?"

Silence ensued for a long time, with Aoi and Ruki seemingly very uncomfortable, Miyavi and Reita optimistic, and Kai pondering over his bassist's offer. He knew what he had to win and what he had to lose. But he also knew that he couldn't and shouldn't be selfish. The band had to go before any other personal things. The Scorpio drummer finally shrugged and sighed, leaning into Aoi's embrace a bit more.

"Well?" Miyavi spoke up, and Kai took another deep breath before answering.

"I guess," he replied curtly in defeat, and that made Ruki frown.

"'You guess' what?"

"Well, yeah, I guess it's okay," Kai explained, "If this can make Uruha better faster then why not?" the drummer shrugged closing his eyes as if showing the others that his decision was final and there was nothing nobody could do about it, not even his own boyfriend, who of course, immediately protested.

"You're serious?" Aoi exclaimed, surprised, "I mean, you're letting me stay here?" his tone sounding somewhat happy, even though it was obvious that he himself didn't realize it, "Like, for real?" Suspicion of course seeped into Kai's thought as he heard it, and he opened his eyes as he softly glared to his older lover, his chocolate-brown eyes clearly hinting that he could attempt bloody murder at any moment now.

"Well, yeah," Kai replied, suddenly noting the slightly suspicious tone of excitement in Aoi's protest, "But not for long," he added in bluntly, his eyes searching Aoi's for a change of emotion, "Just… for a day or two, maybe three, to see how it goes. If his condition is really improving then I guess you should stay here until he's fully recovered."

"What?" Aoi groaned, "Oh come on guys, you can't possibly be serious! If Uruha thinks I'm his dead boyfriend then putting me here will just worsen his condition, no?" he tried to convince them, but their responses showed that there was no way they were going back on this one decision. Ruki had merely shook his head tiredly, Miyavi gave him a grin that clearly said he's fucked, and Reita merely glared.

At the unified word against him, the raven melodist suddenly felt cornered and pursed his lips at the glare his bassist was giving him and glared back. He had wanted to protest but Ruki suddenly spoke up with his eyes curious and confused… and focused on Aoi. Silently cursing inwardly, the raven tried to look calm the best as he could and sat up to reply to Ruki's gaze.

"Ano, Aoi-kun?" the owner of the infamous golden pants spoke up.

"Hai?"

"Ano… How did you…" Ruki trailed off, fidgeting with his fingers before continuing, "I mean, how could you've come to the conclusion that Uruha-kun mistook you as Kanon-san…?" he asked hesitantly, searching Aoi's eyes in slight apprehension, "I mean, you just said that Uruha thinks that you're his dea - I mean, late boyfriend…"

"Oh, that…" the raven bit his lip, "Well, uh, it's uh, kinda obvious…" Aoi answered elusively, "By the way he acts and all… He kinda called me Kanon, actually… So uh, yeah. Kinda obvious," but it was also obvious that Aoi was fidgeting with Kai's fingers, which he was holding onto at the moment, and it was clear that Aoi was covering something up. But because of the tension and uneasy feeling, Ruki decided to not bring the matter up anymore and just leave it be.

A few hours later, the four members of GazettE plus Miyavi had decided that it was time for them to go home. Reita decided to come along with his boyfriend since Aoi was going to stay, whereas said raven had promised to come back after he had gathered his stuff from home. And so here he was, sitting in his car behind the wheel with his pondering boyfriend beside him in the navigator's seat. They hadn't talked much on their way back to the place the two of them called home, and they were now actually half-way there. It was actually quite obvious that they were both lost in their own thoughts but neither of them seemed to have to the willingness to break the silence that slowly started to grow more intense between them.

At first.

"Ne… Ao-kun…?" the sweet-faced drummer finally spoke up as he finally gave in to the one nagging thought stuck in his mind, "Why did you lie to Ruki-san back there?" he asked finally turning to face his older boyfriend with huge, curious eyes, placing his hand upon Aoi's which was currently on the gear. They were just crossing a bridge and many people were crossing over on the zebra cross, as well.

"Hmm?" Aoi replied, seemingly thinking, "When?"

"When Ruki asked how you knew that…" Kai hesitated, "Well, how you knew that Uruha thought that you were… Kanon-san…" the drummer continued, feeling Aoi's hand suddenly tense up a bit, "It's okay if you don't wanna answer, its just that I kinda feel -"

"No, no, it's okay," Aoi cut Kai off, "I just felt rather awkward thinking about it…" he sighed,

"About what?"

"About Uruha…" Aoi sighed, "Earlier, when he finally calmed down and stopped crying, he just laid there and finally ended up sleeping with his head on my lap," the raven explained, feeling a bit uneasy as he knew Kai's jealousy symptoms could come up at unexpected times, "When I was sure that he had slept, I moved him, tucked him in, and went off. But when I wanted to go, he suddenly took my hand and murmured something that sounded a lot like, 'Shin-kun, hitori ni shinaide…' or something of the sort…" the Aquarius explained, turning round a block and into a tunnel.

"And Shin-kun is… who?"

"Shin-kun is Sano Shinya, a.k.a. Antic Café no Kanon," Aoi answered as they exited the tunnel and entered some sort of housing complex, "And I had to do some serious convincing before the half-asleep kid finally let go of my wrist," he sighed, taking his hand off the gear and putting it on the steering wheel while the other hand supported his head with its elbow on the door.

"And the serious convincing included what exactly?" Kai asked with a grin, his hand back on his lap now, his eyes focused onto the road. His mind was still half on the whole Aoi-moving-in-for-a-while-thingy since this new piece of information actually made him worry quite a bit. He knew that Uruha really liked Aoi and idolized him a lot. He even knew that the honey-brunette came to Aoi for advice and stuff like that quite often, and he had also noticed that his boyfriend actually did have a certain soft spot for the Gemini beauty. Plus the fact that the chemistry between the two of them does exist… Miyavi was right. It's wasn't exactly obvious, but when you'd try and look, it's actually there.

"Well… Stuff," Aoi answered elusively, biting the corner of his bottom lip, "I had to shush him up a bit… Y'know, like, what a parent does when their kids have nightmares?"

"Yeah, which of course includes a stroke of the hair and a soothing goodnight kiss," Kai stated bluntly, his smile clearly indicating that it was all just incredulous to him, staring out of the window, his mind still quite occupied. Should he just go back on his decision and decide to not let Aoi stay? The Aquarius raven himself didn't seem to comfortable with the idea either, even though it wasn't exactly clear as to why he felt that way… But if he acted that way, wouldn't it be selfish and unjust? As a leader didn't exactly mean that all decisions lay on him; it was all just for the sake of formality and chivalry! Didn't Kai always say that it was up to the guys? Sure, he had all the rights to cancel this decision but… Besides, it was actually three - no, four, Miyavi voted too - against one; Kai himself was always neutral… But Aoi's uncomfortable answer shook him out his thoughts.

"Well, yeah, kinda… More or less like that… Y'know I wouldn't do anything out of bound, ne, Yu-koi?" the melodist answered as he turned around another corner and finally reached the place they called home.

"Oh, don't start and call me with your nicknames, it won't help," Kai laughed as he took off his seatbelt, "But I've really thought it over," and he leaned over to Aoi's side and kissed his cheekbone before gathering his small stuff and getting out of the car, leaving his boyfriend frowning inside the car.

"Hey, Kai, wait," Aoi called, finally getting out of the car, locking it with the alarm and placing his arm around Kai's surprisingly small waist, "What have you thought over?"

Kai halted and waited until Aoi had come to his side, hugging his waist before walking towards the front door of their house, answering, "I've thought over my decision of letting you stay there over at Ruki's… But there's just one thing that I need to know, actually…" he trailed off, unlocking and opening the door, walking inside, "What is it exactly that made you protest so fiercely back there?"

"Ah, wakarimasen…" Aoi frowned, "In normal Japanese, please?" he requested as Kai kicked off his shoes, copying his lover's actions and closing the door. Kai chuckled at the request and turned with a sweet, though tired smile as Aoi walked over and pinned him to the hall gently, the older one's arms placed beside Kai's head, resting onto the hall wall.

"What I meant was…" Kai started, smiling nervously at Aoi's suspicious grin as the Aquarius invaded the drummer's personal space, "Why did you seem so uncomfortable when the others suggested for you to stay there?" he asked, placing his palms onto Aoi's chest, "Shouldn't you be glad to help Uruha out? You used to be very fond of helping him out of tight spots… Why not now when he needs you the most?"

At the very obvious statement of slight jealousy, Aoi sighed a smile and moved to kiss the nape of Kai's neck as a makeshift reply instead, although the small slap that Kai gave him on his chest and the chuckling that sounded like music to his ears clearly said that Kai won't take any makeshift replies as an answer.

"Aoi…!" the younger one giggled, pushing his lover back a bit, who complied and sweetly smiled.

"Well, I just don't feel comfortable with it somehow," Aoi answered truthfully, resting his forehead onto Kai's, looking straight into the younger's ones eyes, "I just have this gut feeling that something is bound to go wrong…" and Kai could see nothing else but sincerity in Aoi's eyes and words.

"What… What do you think is going to go wrong, then, Yuu-kun?" Kai finally managed to breathe out in an audible whisper as he suddenly started to notice that the gap between their faces was starting to lessen by every passing second. He knew what Aoi was aiming on doing, and he somehow found himself half hoping for his lover to not go on…

"I don't know…" Aoi mumbled, their lips now touching, "But if it's going to hurt you…" and he didn't finish his sentence as he now fully crushed his pouty lips against Kai's thin ones, not having to bother and coaxing them apart as his younger lover automatically granted access. They merely stood there for the next few minutes, kissing in the hall before Kai broke the kiss as the unavoidable need for air came up, breathing heavily with lidded eyes, trying to speak.

"…"

"What…?" Aoi whined, beating Kai into talking, moving to kiss the nape of his neck once more, to which Kai only gasped and giggled. It was funny, really, the situation they were in. Kai was actually feeling rather suspicious with his lover's actions as he seemed to be making excuses and refused to answer questions without beating around the bush, and that's exactly what Aoi'd do when he's keeping secrets… Kai knew that Aoi knew something but simply refused to speak out loud. Smiling inwardly as he thought over Aoi's now childish acts, he decided that he know had to stop the game this romantic Aquarius was playing on him and focus on their rhythm guitarist instead, no matter how much Kai actually enjoyed this.

"Y'know…" he started, breathing in sharply through his nose as Aoi startled suckling and nibbling on his sensitive skin, "We only went home to pack your stuff up, not go - Ah!" Kai gasped as he could feel Aoi's calloused but tender fingers sneak up beneath his shirt, "Not go around playing and coming back to - tomorrow!" the drummer managed to finish his sentence as it seemed to be very hard for him to talk and get distracted at the same time. The warm palm that rested itself on his stomach was slowly going downhill and it felt really, really -

"Uruha can wait," Aoi answered through kisses, his left hand starting to move up Kai's shirt as the other went down his waistband, "I'm going to not meet you for a few days," and his kisses started to move up to the Scorpio's jaw, "Maybe even more. So I'd better take my share now, ne?" and he muffled any upcoming protests Kai might have as he claimed his lips once again in another heated lip-lock.

And in the end, Kai never did find out about Aoi's opinion for the worst case scenario on this matter.

---

Ruki moved his fingers through his bleach-blonde hair as he sat by the kitchen table, his mind in a jumble. It was already nine in the morning but he had just finished his shower and was now merely waiting for Aoi to finish his. The breakfast that lay on the kitchen counter behind him was merely a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese, something quite unusual for a Japanese-family breakfast, but he couldn't care less as that was the only thing quite simple enough for him to make. He didn't want to think much and he didn't feel like talking either.

Aoi had returned at one a.m. this morning with a sheepish grin and the excuse that something important had come up. Noting the radiant blush on his face, Ruki could quite guess what that important matter was and hadn't commented anything on it. He had merely shown Aoi his room to stay in - which turned out to be Reita's old room - and had then trotted back to Uruha's room where he had slept in while he waited for Aoi to come back. Earlier, Uruha had actually woken up only a few minutes after the others had gone home and had silently refused to go to sleep unless Ruki was there to accompany him. The chibi's guardian angel had then hugged him possessively in his sleep, and that had now become a part of the few things that Ruki pondered about.

The vocalist knew that his feelings for Uruha had to be put aside on second place now; the guitarist's health stood before everything. But even though that, he couldn't help wondering whether it was Kanon or Ruki that Uruha had imagined when he had held him in his sleep… It kinda hurt, actually, to hear the nagging voice of truth in the back of his mind that told him exactly what he didn't want to hear; Ruki knew the painful answers to the questions he asked to himself. Kanon had more chance of occupying the guitarist's mind.

Why do I still think of things like these… Ruki sighed a she slumped on the table, I know it's irrelevant, but…

"Yo, Taka-chan!" Aoi greeted as he entered the vicinity, "Oha… yo… Ne, daijoubu desu ka?" he asked as he noticed Ruki's drowsy face. The vocalist seemed even dimmer as he looked up, observing Aoi's cheerful radiant face. The melody guitarist seemed calm, collected, grounded and smart as always, and Ruki realized that those factors are exactly the things that Uruha look for in someone. Kanon was like that, wasn't he? The late bassist was calm, collected, smart, patient, attentive, smart… Everything that Uruha wanted.

Quite unlike me…

"Ru-chan?" Aoi called again, "Daijoubu~?"

"Un, daijoubu desu…" Ruki replied drowsily finally sitting up straight as his senpai sat down, his hair still damp from his shower, "I hope you like macaroni and cheese?" he offered, standing up and walking towards the huge bowl of breakfast, taking three bowls from the cupboard above it and spooning in the meal into the bowls, "I don't know whether you've tried it, but Uruha said that he could tolerate the funny taste and I wasn't in any mood to make anything else," he explained, leaving one bowl empty and taking the other two, almost-full bowls to the kitchen table, "Kai must make a lot of things for you at home, huh?" and placing it in front of Aoi, who took the spoon in between his long fingers and stirred the contents.

"Yeah, well, he likes to cook, but I'm not saying that his meals are always delicious," Aoi smiled politely, "But I'd like to try macaroni and cheese; when Toshiya came home from L.A. he had told me that one of the weird stuff he ate there was this."

"Oh?" Ruki perked up from his bowl, swallowing his food before answering, "You still keep in touch with him?"

"Yes, of course I do, even though he's quite busy with his band and Hizaki… So yeah, we're keeping it cool but we maintain our communication," Aoi nodded, spooning up his breakfast, "Why? Aren't you guys still going out together?"

"Well, not exactly…" Ruki sighed, "Uruha didn't really like him and you know how cold he could get to people he doesn't like… So I just stopped going out with him cause Uruha's almost always keeping an eye on me," the chibi admitted, sighing, "He's giving me headaches."

But Aoi just laughed at the statement, "Who? Kouyou?"

"Who else? He's really confusing me… At one point, he doesn't seem to care a bit and is too busy with either you or Reita to notice anything about me," Ruki said after swallowing his macaroni and cheese, "but on the other side, he's always telling me this and that and could get very possessive!" the vocalist complained with an adorable pout before taking another bite out of his breakfast.

"But why should that confuse you? If you don't like it, then just say it," Aoi smiled, wanting to see Ruki's reaction, "I'm sure that he'll stop if you tell him to," advising something that was quite obvious and took in every single change of emotion that showed itself in the youngest one's eyes. As he had expected, the blonde Aquarius seemed to be quite hesitant, confused and uneasy, as if he were searching for a decent answer.

"Ruki?" Aoi called, the tone of his voice clearly indicating that he wanted to have a clear answer. Shaken out of his thoughts, Ruki chuckled nervously as he answered while messing up his hair cutely.

"Ah, no, I don't really mind, it's just another form of attention, isn't it?" Ruki answered even though he himself seemed unconvinced by his own words, "Even though it's quite annoying…" he added in a mumble, "But that's how brothers are supposed to be like, ne?" he finally smiled, but his senpai actually frowned at his last statement.

"Mm, I guess," Aoi seemed to agree, "But it seems to me that you think more of Uruha than just a brother," he tried, grinning devilishly to himself, inwardly. People might call him mischievous, very mischievous at times, and Aoi knew that very well, but he also knew that his impishness might bring some very interesting and unexpected results and answers that could be quite useful for some people. The way he talks is just so alluring, so elusive, that it makes it easy for him to coax anything he wants out of people.

And Aoi knows that very well… As Ruki doesn't.

"Well, yeah, I guess that's true," Gazette's vocalist answered nonchalantly with a shrug, "I think I'm actually…" but the blonde trailed off as something seemed to click in his head when Aoi's grin turned very wide, "Hey wait a minute!" he exclaimed, realising that Aoi had tricked him into saying what he had just said, but it was already too late as Ruki had already blurted it out, "That's low, Aoi-kun. Seriously," the vocalist pouted, crossing his arms with his spoon still in his right hand.

Aoi just laughed, though, and apologized for it, "Haha… Alright, alright, I'm sorry! But it was just so obvious and it got me so curious… I wanted to hear it straight from you, though, so I had to do it. Sorry though, Ru," and Ruki finally sighed, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to say something else but halted when another presence suddenly graced itself in the vicinity that people call kitchen. Looking up, the two recognized the morning beauty as their rhythm guitarist Uruha, looking quite awake and alive though he still has an aura of gloominess around him. Registering his other kouhai, Aoi smiled broadly, invitingly.

"Ohayo!" he greeted, and Uruha's eyes widened slightly in surprise at the fact that Aoi was there, in his apartment, in the morning, having breakfast with him and Ruki… Stretching out a hand, as if inviting him to come over and sit beside him, Aoi continued talking, "Did you sleep well?" he asked attentively, his smile broadening as Uruha did comply to the unspoken invite and sat down beside Aoi on the kitchen table. The tall Gemini gave a curt nod, answering Aoi's former question, still not speaking a word. His eyes seemed to avoid his senpai's the whole while, and he finally rested his orbs onto his chiyu-kei as if looking for help. Quite catching the meaning of those weakly pleading orbs, Ruki forced a smile onto his face and rose up to his feet, walking towards the kitchen counter which held the large bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"Yokatta," he spoke up, breaking the short silence as he spooned up the food into the smaller, empty bowl beside it, "And this is your breakfast," he announced as he placed it right in front of Uruha on the table, "Macaroni and cheese. Hope you like it."

"Ah… Arigato," Uruha answered in a barely audible whisper, but his other two band mates caught it nonetheless and it was obvious that that had suddenly became more alert and bright; their guitarist had finally decided to start talking again!

The morning then progressed cheerfully, different than from what it had been a few days ago, where the aura around the house was still gloomy, a dark cloud hanging all around everyone. But now, it seemed as of the cloud has lifted just by Aoi's presence and Uruha's recovery; everything almost seemed to be getting back to normal. The day progressed further until five hours or so passed. Aoi and Uruha had already perched themselves in the livingroom by now, sitting together doing their own stuff while Ruki had been chatting with his co-designer Bara about his Before I Decay single cover. Everyone was busy with their own stuff, until Aoi then stood up and made way for the bathroom at the exact time Ruki came in the living room and went outside on the patio to get a better phone signal. Ten minutes later, though, the sound of breaking glass and a missing Uruha gathered Aoi and Ruki in the living room, frowning and looking around frantically for their rhythm guitarist, whose voice finally cursed out loudly from the kitchen. Without a second thought, the two GazettE members entered the kitchen vicinity to only find their honey-brunette guitarist sporting a pair of bleeding fingers with shattered glass by his feet.

"Oh my gosh~ Uruha, what did you try to do?" Ruki spoke up, sighing tiredly. Behind him also stood a sighing Aoi, who was shaking his head. The elder one took a deep breath and then moved towards Uruha, crouching in front of him to then pick up the glass pieces, gathering them in the palm of his open hand.

"Ruki, go help Uru clean his wound.. I'll take care of the kitchen…" he ordered quietly in a calm way, and Aoi could hear the two of them shuffling away as he picked up the last shards before getting onto his feet and putting the glass remnants away in the bin, washing his hand off in the sink afterwards. Whatever had made Uruha drop a glass Aoi wouldn't know but he decided to not ask about it since Uruha obviously didn't want to talk just yet… Either that, or Ruki might've already coaxed the answers out of the brunette.

Running his fingers through his own black, soft and slightly damp locks, Aoi let out a huge, audible puff of breath as he vaguely thought of Kai back home and how the sweet raven was doing… His lips turned into a smile as he walked out from the kitchen and back into the living room, his thoughts flying back to the very pleasant memory of last night's events… But the sound of footsteps approaching took Aoi out of his pleasant daydream and the Aquarius beauty turned around to find Ruki rolling his eyes near the very sofa Aoi was sitting on.

"What is it?" the melodist asked, noting the look of annoyance on Ruki's delicate face, "Did he tell you anything?"

"Yes, he did," Ruki answered half-heartedly, "He was feeling dizzy so he wanted to get a drink but let the glass slip out of his fingers," the answer came sarcastically, "Just perfect, ne? His depressed state had made him sick and we're stuck here taking care of him!"

"And what's wrong with you?" the raven raised an eyebrow, curious at the statement, "I thought you cared a lot about Uruha, hmm?" Aoi commented, frowning at Ruki's snappish attitude. What was wrong with the young one? He was always the one to tolerate anything and everything that Uruha did, so why was he so pissed about it now? Or was it something else that had made him angry?

"I do!" the blonde defended himself immediately, "It's just that it's all pretty unnecessary, ne? He could've waited for you to come back, or ask me for help, or -"

"You were on the phone, Ru," the older Aquarius stated, "And you were obviously too busy with Bara-san to even notice the phone call twenty minutes ago, so it'd be logical for Uruha to option for the not bothering choice," explaining to his vocalist, but the latter pouted and crossed his arms in a stubborn manner, opening his mouth to defend himself.

"Well yeah, but he could still ask you instead of -" but he then paused, "Wait a minute," Ruki realized out of the blue, "The phone rang?" he asked, having just registered said fact, and frowned as his senpai calmly nodded, "I didn't hear anything," the chibi stated innocently as Aoi laughed, "Oh don't laugh, Ao-kun, who was the caller? My mother?"

"No, fortunately, it wasn't. It was Yamashita-kun, your photographer? He wanted me to tell you that the details you wanted were unclear for him or something, and that you'd either have to come along to the cover shoot at three or you'd have to call him again and explain him everything again," Aoi shrugged, and it was then where Ruki let out a string of curses under his breath, and ran off towards the kitchen where the phone was located. The act made Aoi frown more, but at that minute, Uruha came strolling into the vicinity, so Aoi had no choice but to approach the honey-brunette and get him into the livingroom before he reached the kitchen.

"Hey -" said subject wanted to protest, but Aoi shushed him with a squeeze of his shoulder and a shake of the head. The young one caught the hint, but still shot his senpai a questioning look. The answer given was curt, though.

"Ruki."

"Doushite no?" Uruha asked rather timidly, but Aoi just sighed and sat the rhythm guitarist down on the couch, shaking his head.

"He's freaked out by his tasks," Aoi explained, "And also by you," he added, making Uruha frown cutely, "So don't you scare us again like that, understand? Don't break stuff. What if those glass shards hurt you?"

"They did," Uruha stated calmly, raising his injured left hand - which was now neatly bandaged - to which Aoi chuckled. The raven took Uruha's wrist, taking the hand down, keeping it cradled in his hands as he rested both their hands in Uruha's lap.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Main point; don't freak us out," he rephrased his earlier advice, and smiled as Uruha nodded and took his hand back, reaching for the remote and turning on the television, setting it on a random music channel where Kagrra,'s Urei was playing. The song of course caught both guitarist's attention seeing as they knew the band members along with the song and also because it happened to be quite a nice Neo-Japanesque song… The older of the two immediately gave an approving smile as he fully turned to face the television.

"Old song," Aoi commented, "But beautiful," and the raven Aquarius leaned back onto the couch, watching the PV with an interested gleam in his pretty eyes. Uruha's eyes were focused on the television too - even though he wasn't fully turned, still half-facing Aoi - but at first only, though. Halfway through the short more-or-less four-minute video, his beautiful mahogany-eyes have slowly turned to examine and take in - if not check out - every single change of emotion, every smile, every breath that Aoi made and took… With no clear motive as to why he did that whatsoever. It just seemed… Intriguing. As if Aoi reminded him of someone that he -

"Fuck! Okay, okay, I'll be at the field in fifteen minutes!" Ruki suddenly stated loudly, angrily, as he walked out of the kitchen, his keitai suddenly attached to his ear, walking into the hall leading towards the bedrooms. After only a minute or two, said vocalist reappeared again, still keeping up with his irate statements as he walked towards the front door. He then flipped close his keitai with a huff, turning towards the two curious pairs of eyes directed from the livingroom couch in front of the television with a poisonous glare.

The sudden statement that he made had of course caught the attention of his fellow band members, but at the moment, Ruki didn't seem to care much. I mean, how could he ever care about that when his kameko can't get his intentions for the next shoot? It was simple, it had Ruki's usual taste, it had the usual hidden meanings, so what made this task so hard, so different? Had any of Ruki's cover shoots differ from one another? It all had the same deep meaning of restraints and regret and - Oh forget it.

"What?" Ruki snapped in an annoying manner as he then turned to fix his shoes, "Never saw me freaked out over a shoot before?"

"Uh, honestly?" Aoi replied with pursed lips, feeling annoyed also, "No," and Ruki turned back for a brief second at that sarcastic comment to only glare poisonous daggers at the older before turning back to his shoes. A very apparent killing aura radiated from the two contrast members and Uruha openly shivered. Seeing the tense air, the honey-brunette took a deep breath and decided to say something as well. After all, the two of them did quarrel indirectly because of him, right?

"Doko de?" Uruha chimed in rather timidly as he still had this urge to just stay quiet and not talk to anyone despite his efforts to break the ice, "Need a ride?" he offered quietly, but Ruki rolled his eyes and sighed exaggeratingly.

"No, I don't. I don't need nor want you to take me there because I then can't focus on what I'm supposed to do there! You just stay home and stay here with Aoi-kun," the vocalist snapped before turning on his heels and going out. Somewhere, deep down in his heart he knew that his reaction was just over the top but he just felt like PMS-ing. Somehow. He knew he shouldn't be like this; Uruha's ignorance and quietness was already something very common and he had already gotten used to it. But after knowing that the album cover design never had reached Bara and that his kameko couldn't do anything right without Ruki beside him explaining every single thing made him pissed. He knew he shouldn't blame it all on Uruha's incapability of being independent at the moment, but Ruki was Ruki. He couldn't change himself. He needed an outlet, and any possible outlet was fine.

Bam goes the door and gone is the vocalist.

The two guitarists left behind could only shake their heads and exchange glances.

---

Maybe the fact that they are men or the fact that they're just picky about food plays a role in all this, but it still remains that even after four hours of being Ruki-less, the two guitarists managed to perch themselves in front of the television still, with the electronic still on while Uruha had his head neatly nestled onto Aoi's lap wit his eyes closed in slumber as said older raven absent-mindedly ran his fingers through the honey-brunette locks while reading a magazine from the stack of others beside his feet.

It was now somewhere around eight p.m. and the two of them still haven't eaten anything. Not that either of the two minded, they were both busy minding their own business. The only thing bugging Aoi was the time and Ruki's absence, but he kept telling himself that the blonde would be fine by himself and that his task at hand was just taking care of Uruha and making sure that he'd be back to normal again… The Gemini beauty seemed to be still hesitant to talk, though the reason behind it is still unclear.

Finally deciding that they had to eat sooner or later, Aoi let out a breath and turned to look at Uruha's sleeping face. He wanted to wake the angel up but didn't have the heart to do it. Optioning to give Uruha a bit more time, Aoi leaned back, completely ignoring the television as he calmed down and set his thoughts on his vocalist… Kinda late since he should've done that four hours ago, but he was just too busy with his stack of magazines! Anywho, he did wonder why Ruki was acting all pissed. He had seen the young one throwing fits quite often when things don't exactly go his way, but it usually happens for a very good reason. But now… Was he just tired? Was he having a breakdown too? Was it Uruha? Was it the cover shoot?

Was it me? Aoi considered, not knowing from where the contemplation had arisen from, because as he thought it over again, said thought didn't have a point at all! What did Aoi do wrong? He stayed there because he had to, it was Ruki who agreed with the suggestion after all, so why the fuss? But even through all the logic, why did his gut feeling say something of the opposite…?

"Tadaima…" a silent voice came accompanied by the sound of an opening door, and the raven slightly turned, careful not to wake Uruha up, to catch Ruki coming in with a tired smile, holding a plastic bag in his hand as he took his shoes.

"Okaeri," Aoi greeted, "Why so late?" he asked in a motherly-tone, and Ruki smiled tiredly at it as he answered, walking towards the couch Aoi was sitting in.

"The shoot had gone a bit wrong but I could manage…" he sighed, "But I got you guys some Chinese take-out?" he smiled, leaning over the couch, "Where's Uru -" Ruki started, but stopped as he saw his guardian sleeping peacefully in his senpai's lap, and a flash of unknown emotion passed in his eyes, "Oh."

It came as fast as it went, and therefore Aoi couldn't exactly distinguish what emotion it exactly is… Though he highly suspected it to be sadness. His train of thoughts were interrupted, though, as Ruki suddenly obviously forced a happy smile on his face and murmured something about preparing dinner as he then trotted off to the kitchen with his plastic bag. Suddenly feeling uneasy and guilty as if it was his fault that Ruki went emo, Aoi gathered his guts and gently woke Uruha up.

"Ne, Uru?" he gently called, "Sleepyhead, wake up," stroking Uruha's cheek, but still getting no response, "Ruki's home, love, time for dinner," and Aoi conjured a loving smile as his honey-brunette kouhai finally yawned adorably, fluttering his eyes open as he tried to wake up fully. When he saw Aoi's gentle face upside-down with his raven hair falling in his eyes, Uruha seemed to be quite a bit startled and shocked as his beautiful mahogany eyes widened before he seemed to calm down and take in every single inch of Aoi's features.

"… Um… Shin…?" he spoke out softly, seemingly hesitant, and Aoi seemed to be startled by the name for a moment before he quickly recovered and brushed Uruha's bangs out of his eyes. Smiling gently, Shiroyama Yuu shook his head.

"No, it's Aoi," he told his kouhai sweetly and he could visibly see Uruha's confusion in those mahogany orbs. Were Aoi's calculations correct and Uruha really was mistaking him for his late boyfriend or was there just a random similarity that both Aoi and Kanon possessed? But if there were, then what were they?

"A - Aoi?" Uruha repeated, frowning as he seemed to be slightly befuddled by the suggestion, but the mentioned guitarist merely nodded.

"Yes?" Aoi answered patiently, his tone as if asking what Uruha required, his face calm and kind, not showing what he was really thinking inside. To be honest, he was perplexed. Why would Uruha seem so startled knowing it was him? Is it because he was seeing Aoi's face upside-down or something? Or was he expecting someone else?

"Nothing," Uruha smiled a genuine smile, "Never mind," he halted his sentence as he sat up, turning towards Aoi, "Arigato."

"Arigato?" Aoi frowned, "What for?"

"For staying," Uruha explained, "I'm comfortable now," he smiled, and then he stood up and went straight for the kitchen as if knowing that Aoi will automatically follow him, which Aoi of course did, even though he still had questions running through his head. It had only been his first day here and Uruha was already acting weird. Feeling more energetic and at ease with surroundings now, Uruha seemed brighter than the last few days, even though he still talks in curt sentences. Breathing in the fresh smell of food, Uruha came to realize that he was actually starving, and he stopped at the kitchen entrance, waiting for Aoi to catch up before entering the kitchen together.

"Konbanwa, minna!" Ruki exclaimed in a cheery voice, "I've got the basic Chinese take-outs; Fuyunghai, Capcay, and all of these other stuff which names I can't pronounce; just take whatever you guys want!" he smiled as he waved towards the heaps of bowls and plates on the kitchen counter, "Itadakimasu~"

"What are you, the new chef?" Aoi commented, chuckling as he shook his head but stepped forward to take some food nonetheless with Uruha following behind him. Ruki laughed at the statement. Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were seated by the table, talking through spoonfuls of rice. It didn't take more than twenty minutes to eat, and Aoi offered himself up to do the dishes when they were all done, indirectly ordering Ruki to take a shower and go rest. The vocalist complied to it, of course, and he walked out of the kitchen after a cheery "Oyasuminasai". Aoi hummed Shiroki Yuuutsu as he turned the faucet and let the water wet his hands before turning to get the sponge and soap when he suddenly noticed another presence beside him. A tall, honey-brunette presence that is.

"Uruha? What're you doing?" Aoi frowned as a small smile started to tug on the corner of his sexy lips, but the Gemini sweetheart just shrugged and soaked his hands into the streaming water as well.

"Helping," he answered as curtly as he had before, and halted all kinds of talking as he waited for Aoi to soap up the plate before taking it from the nimble but calloused fingers and rinsing it off. The same procedure happened to ever single ceramic, glass and utensil until it was all clean and drying in the dish rack beside the sink. When they were done, the two men then rinsed and dried off their hands before turning away to get back to the livingroom.

"It's a mess in here," Aoi commented as he looked around the place. Their dishwashing had involved quite a few splashing here and there, resulting into slightly damp hair, partly wet pants and water-splattered shirts in the end, but none of the two seemed to mind it. Aoi loved water anyway and Uruha just seemed so happy playing with said element.

"Mm… Slippery," Uruha agreed with a nod and curt answer to which Aoi giggled. When you've known someone for seven years at close proximity you would know when that person is changing, and it's just simply funny when you know exactly that that said person is changing in a total opposite way of how he used to be. Uruha's way of talking may be complicated, but never in the seven years of knowing Uruha had he ever heard the man talk in such curt sentences or in simple words. It was just funny… and it sounded funny, too.

"Yeah. Slippery," Aoi repeated, to which Uruha smiled, "Let's head back, ne? I'm sleepy and you really need your rest," the raven offered, and moved to head out… When he suddenly stepped on a small puddle of water and fell backwards. Luckily, though, Uruha's reflexes were sharp and he swiftly caught Aoi by the waist just in time before the Aquarius fell on his butt or hit the sink with his head. Automatically grabbing Uruha's shoulder, Aoi took his time in recovering as his breathing had turned erratic and his chocolate-brown eyes had gone wide in shock.

"Daijoubu?" Uruha asked after a minute or two, leaning in a bit as he slightly pulled Aoi up, "Mm?"

"Aa… Mm… Mm-hmm…" Aoi nodded slowly as if his brain was trying to catch up with everything around him, eyes still blinking. It was obvious that he tried to calm himself, and he parted his lips to talk… To only find himself at a loss of words when he met Uruha's gentle mahogany orbs. Why, he didn't know. But he was just so fascinated by the understanding and breath-taking gleam in those eyes…

Not to mention his lips… GAH! What am I thinking? Baka, baka Aoi!

"Ao-kun?" Uruha called one more time as he caught his senpai staring at him. He felt rather uneasy with Aoi's stare, but also kind of comfortable at the same time. It was weird… And since when did Aoi look so pretty with his hair falling in his eyes? The missing lip-ring also made him seem a lot more smarter, lately… What with his attentiveness and calm attitude… It reminded Uruha of something, someone… Trapped in each other's eyes, the two were captivated by each other with none knowing why…

And Uruha had suddenly found himself leaning closer towards his senpai, with said latter not doing a single thing to stop him. Of course, on the inside, both guitarists were yelling, "What the hell am I doing?" but actions that reflected said thought didn't happen. Uruha kept on decreasing the gap between their faces with his breathing starting to get irregular, while Aoi also seemed to be willing to just get the whole thing over with. They could hear their heartbeats beating loudly in their ears, many thoughts running through their heads, but they just simply didn't seem to pay any attention to it.

When the gap between their lips were only an inch away, Uruha seemed to really hesitate as if realizing that there was something wrong here, taking a deep breath… But his thoughts were interrupted as he felt soft lips crush his. Aoi had leaned up and pecked him quickly purely out of curious impulse, but he soon seemed to regret his actions as his eyes widened more than it had before and he gasped around for words. An uncomfortable silence hung around them, Uruha not being able to ask for an explanation, before Aoi finally managed to find his voice back.

"Uh, yeah, well uh," Aoi tried to speak, bringing up a logical excuse, now pulling himself up to his feet, "We should really go to sleep," he finally said, and he took a blushing Uruha's hand to drag him back to the halls that contained their bedrooms. The rhythm guitarist seemed to be as flustered, confused and embarrassed as he himself is, and it somehow brought Aoi a slight relief to know that at least Uruha felt guilty about it. He let go of Uruha's hand as they reached Ruki's room, and the act made Uruha frown questioningly.

"I'm checking on Ru," Aoi answered his kouhai's unspoken question, and as he entered Ruki's slightly open bedroom door, he could hear Uruha's soft footsteps following him inside the room. Ruki had his back towards them, his body seemingly curled up beneath the blankets. His breathing was steady and he seemed to be deep in sleep; the sight made Aoi smile like a proud parent, somehow.

"He's sleeping," Uruha mumbled softly, and he gently brushed Aoi's hand - almost wanting to hold it - as an indicator to get out of the room and leave the sleeping chibi vocalist in peace. Nodding to say that he understood Uruha's meaning, Aoi allowed Uruha to lead the way. They got out of the room and Aoi gently closed Ruki's bedroom door, walking away towards him own room to stay for the days, passing Uruha's, when he suddenly felt calloused but nimble fingers gently grasping his wrist. Frowning, Aoi turned to find Uruha with pleading eyes, and Aoi almost dreaded to ask what was wrong.

But he asked anyway.

"What is it? Did you forget something?" Aoi continued, trying to coax out an explanation from his kouhai, and Uruha finally let go of his hand as said rhythm guitarist took a very deep breath and parted his pouty lips to talk.

"Hitori ni shinaide," he mumbled, like a barely-there whisper, and to be honest, Aoi was stunned to hear it. Weren't those the words he had said in his sleep…? What did they mean… What were they supposed to mean?

"Wait, Kou… What?" he asked, needing a clear clarification out of his guitarist's words, and Heaven knows that no justification would come out from curt sentences nor simple words. Nobody could manage that. But oddly, Uruha could.

"Hitori ni nemurenai," were the only words he gave as an explanation, "Can't sleep alone," and strangely, it made sense. Sighing, Aoi lowered his head and thought. There wasn't exactly any harm in merely accompanying Uruha to sleep since - from his observation - Ruki has been doing it a lot lately and has succeeded into coming out of it unscathed, so why won't Aoi give it a chance? But then again, there was still the Kai-factor that kinda told him not to do this, but wasn't Kai the one who told him to stay here and watch over Uruha so said guitarist could get better quicker?

What to do, what to do…

"Aoi?" Uruha called timidly as if waiting for an answer, and the aforementioned raven Aquarius finally look up and gave a small smile, nodding.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, and Uruha's eyes brightened up visibly. He eagerly took his senpai's hand and lightly dragged him to his room. If Ruki wasn't already asleep, Uruha would've requested for said chibi vocalist to accompany him but he didn't want to disturb him, recalling his outburst about the shoot and such; he seemed really tense and needed some serious rest. So picking Aoi won't be a bad idea, ne? The raven was his senpai, they were close and Aoi really understood him. If only Uruha had checked the other side of the bed and seen Ruki's damp, wide, not-yet-asleep eyes that had seen the event in the kitchen, he'd think twice about his choices.

---

Morning came.

Uruha could feel the sunshine brushing his face, tingling his closed eyes, but he still wouldn't wake up. He simply didn't want to. He felt too comfortable, too calm, too good to be true and he didn't want to let go of this secure feeling. But he knew he had to anyway. Letting out a content sigh, he tried and fluttered open his eyes gently, not ready to fully expose his still-sleepy eyes to the sunrays just yet. After succeeding into adjusting his focus and get used to the light, Uruha realized that he was actually facing someone's black-shirt covered broad chest and was actually in someone's arms. Now realizing why he felt so comfortable and not remembering a single thing about what happened last night, Uruha looked up to see the face of his protector and was honestly quite surprised. He frowned and tried his best to recall last night. He was sure he didn't do anything… Though he did remember a kiss in the kitchen - but he couldn't remember whom he kissed - to which he blushed at. I shouldn't have done that, he thought, but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it. That person's lips felt really soft and the kiss somehow didn't feel forced – even though there was this nagging voice in the back of his head that told him said chaste act was wrong.

Looking up once again, he decided that pale smooth skin and black long hair weren't enough hints to indicate who his embracer was, so the honey-brunette moved up a bit more to try and fully see the face of his captivator. But when he saw those slightly parted thin but pouty lips, cute nose and calm, deep-in-slumber closed eyes, he was at a total loss of words since he knew that he recognized this person better than anything else in the word.

"Shinya…?" he mumbled out in disbelief, and he lowered his face closer, cupping the raven's face in his warm, big but slender palm. He gently brushed the sleeping raven's pale cheek, not daring to believe his eyes. Was Kanon really here with him, embracing him in his sleep? Did he come back for the honey-brunette, did he decided against leaving after all? Ecstatic, Uruha smiled in disbelief, thinking that it was just simply too good to be true. His mind was raving from the joy, clouded in delightedness; his smile was so wide it could rival the Grand Canyon. Leaning in closer than before, he gently touched their lips together sweetly, just to make sure whether this was really real, not just a dream, and a spark of life ignited in Uruha's eyes as he felt those pouty thin lips against his own full ones.

But ofcourse, said act resulted into waking of his raven-haired lover, and Uruha backed off a bit as he let Kanon stir, yawn and gracefully stretch out like a cat would do, with the rhythm guitarist doing nothing but watching him with an adoring smile. The bassist finally opened his eyes wide and awake, and turned to face Uruha with a small sleepy smile, showing pure contentedness. But that smile quickly faded and his eyes showed pure curiosity and slight suspicion as those just awoken eyes met Uruha's orbs which also started to show hesitancy. Those eyes weren't the eyes Uruha used to know. The orbs he used to gaze in were always tender, understanding, loving, childish, sweet, innocent, and it always has that certain tinge of hidden something that always had intrigued Uruha more than anything else. But these chocolate eyes he were gazing in showed yes, tenderness, understanding and it was sweet in a way; but it was not childish and it was certainly not innocent. These eyes were the eyes of a mature person, who had been through many things in his life, though it was also calm in a way. It was like looking into the eyes of Kanon's older version.

"Shin-chan?" Uruha called out just to make sure, but said raven looked more surprised, confused and uncertain than Uruha himself when he heard that name being called.

"What did you call me?" the Kanon-look-a-like spoke up, frowning as he supported himself on one elbow, "Shin-chan?" he repeated, the surprise and confusion suddenly turning into a look of realization and slight horror. He seemed to suddenly grasp the situation around him and it doesn't look too good for his cup of tea by the looks of it.

"Yes, you're Shinya… Aren't you?" the honey-brunette stated, "Kanon?" sounding as if he was trying to convince himself more than the person lying in the same bed with him. The elation in his mahogany-brown eyes were starting to dissolve and a heart-breaking gaze filled it instead. Was it really just a dream?

"No, I'm not," the raven stated, "I'm your senpai, your guitarist, Shiroyama Yuu, remember?"

"Shiroyama - Aoi-kun?" Uruha repeated, outwardly at a loss for words. He stayed still, now with a daydream-look on his face, seemingly regretting a something that Aoi could guess. Sighing, he leaned forward and cupped Uruha's delicately sad face with both of his palms, gently forcing his kouhai to look at him. He's beautiful even though captured in sorrow…

"Yeah, Aoi-kun, not Kanon. I'm not him, Kou, I'm not," Aoi repeated, seemingly regretting for breaking the ugly truth to his beloved guitarist. He looked straight into Uruha's eyes and kissed the tip of the beauty's nose lovingly, soothingly, "He's gone, love, don't be trapped in the past too much," he whispered, still maintaining eye contact. Those lost eyes searched into his, looking for God-knows-what, deeply, desperately, until tears slowly started to pool in those beautiful mahogany eyes. It didn't take long for them to spill over as the two of them sat there in completely silence; not even ragged breathing could be heard. Uruha's tears glided over his smooth cheeks one by one with their gazes still locked together, and at this point Aoi was so confused he couldn't do anything else but stare back.

What a wakeup call, he thought, cursing the fact that he just had to be woken up by a kiss from his gorgeous bandmate - who happened to not be his boyfriend - having to be mistaken as said bandmate's dead boyfriend, and also having to break the ugly truth to him and being the shoulder to cry on, all happening in - Aoi glances at the clock - seven in the morning! Could this day get any worse? But just as he thought it, a small sob escaped Uruha's lush lips and this was when his stunningly emotionless doll-like mask shattered into a face that reflected pure sorrow. His shoulders shook and his breathing became uneven; Uruha was now really crying and Aoi was at a loss on what to do. The day had just gotten worse. The raven forced his still-sleepy brain to work and because he still couldn't come up with anything he just decided on the first best thought that showed up his mind; what he always did to Kai when said drummer was upset, sulking or crying.

"Hush, don't cry," he whispered in a sigh, brushing his thumb beneath the younger one's eyes, wiping away a tear gently before embracing Uruha soothingly, stroking the honey-brunette locks in a way that Aoi hoped could calm him kouhai down. The rhythm guitarist had placed his chin on Aoi's shoulder as he held onto said melodist in loss. What was Uruha to think, to believe? One way or another, no matter whom he wanted this person holding him to be, in the end when he got out his bedroom door, when he finally had to deal with the truth, he'll eventually lose everything. So what did he have to do now? Hold onto a dream?

"Kou, please don't cry," Aoi sighed as he allowed the younger one to hold onto him very tightly, "You've got to learn to let things go…" the advice came rolling off his tongue automatically since he didn't know what else to say and the words "Everything will be alright" just seemed such a cliché… Uruha didn't stop though, and all Aoi could do was roll his eyes in desperation. Why did it have to be Aoi, anyway? Sure, he always had a soft spot when it came to Uruha, but come on, he barely knew anything about his kouhai! Why couldn't it be Reita? That nose-banded bassist knew almost everything about this kid, from his favourite underwear to the way Uruha's brain worked!

"Why couldn't you just stay…" Uruha suddenly spoke up through hiccups, his sobs decreasing as his hold on Aoi's slim body tightened. Aoi could only sit still and allowed the boy to do whatever he wanted since Aoi himself was also starting to get tired of this… Moving a bit to shift Uruha to a better position before kissing the honey-brunette's forehead, Aoi's eyes glanced towards the door as he felt a sudden chill; and was utterly speechless when he found a wide-eyed staring Ruki standing by the entrance. He opened his mouth to say something, but the minute Ruki's name escaped his lips, said vocalist turned on his heels and left as Uruha's body tensed in Aoi's embrace. The young one turned immediately at the name, being able to just catch a glimpse of Ruki's bleach blonde hair before his eyes turned wide in fright. Seeing that, Aoi frowned, his curiosity having been awakened. Why does Uruha seem to frightened, uneasy? Wasn't he crying over Kanon just a few seconds ago?

What's going on through Uruha's head?

---

Ruki forced himself to calm down as he breathed in the chilly morning air, standing on the patio. He felt hurt. He did, and he knows the cause, but he forced himself to just ignore it and try to calm down. It was all in the process of Uruha's health, and there were things that needed to be sacrificed. Ruki's feelings, Aoi and Kai's time, and Reita's… Okay, so Reita's out of the sacrifice category, but Kanon happened to be one of Reita's close friends too, so Ruki guessed that it's okay for him this time…

Besides, Uruha was crying, Ru, so they couldn't have done anything, could they? Even though they were both obviously under the covers… Gah! Don't think like that damn it! Ruki told himself, and he took one final last breath from the fresh air before turning back into the house; it was getting cold… It was November after all and he had lots of things to do until New Year and Christmas. Sometimes Ruki hated his job, but hey, he had fought for it and he had to live with it… Entering the livingroom with a sigh, he spotted an uneasy Aoi appearing from the halls, gently dragging a quite dishevelled-looking Uruha into Ruki's sight.

"Ohayo," Ruki greeted the two, and Uruha looked up with a start, seemingly holding Aoi's hand tighter as said raven guitarist gave a small smile and returned the morning greeting.

"Ohayo," he smiled, "Nice sleep?" Aoi offered, and Ruki nodded for an answer as he motioned for the two to follow him into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess," the blonde murmured as he took a glass and poured water into it for himself, Aoi copying him, "How was your night?" the blonde asked, sounding rather sarcastic in Aoi's opinion, but the raven tried to not make a huge deal out of it. Instead, he just shrugged and answered.

"Exhausting," Aoi sighed rolling his eyes, handing over the water-filled glass in his hand to Uruha, taking another empty one from the cupboard when the brunette accepted it, suddenly realizing what Ruki's question meant and that his answer sounded rather suggestive. As Ruki observed, he could see that Uruha's eyes were slowly starting to puff up and go red because of his sobbing - Ruki obviously noticed the shaking shoulders - but he had also noticed the sudden strange aura radiating from his two senpai… Secretly wondering - or rather, arguing with himself whether he should ask or not, Ruki gathered what was left of his sanity (which wasn't much) and decided to just get it over with. He was curious and he wanted to know!

"Aoi-kun, you don't look too good," Ruki piped up, trying his best to sound completely innocent, "Are you sure you've had enough rest?" he suggested, and Aoi turned to him with a strange look before he conjured a smile on his pretty face, moving to sit down beside Uruha as Ruki placed bread on the table. Ruki knew that he had just caught a glimpse of something but what the heck was it? He was curious, curious, curious! He was also still a bit miffed by last night, he had heard the conversation on the hall and he cursed himself for faking his sleep… But even if he didn't…

"Yeah I'm sure," Aoi reassured Ruki when the blonde turned to take a tray out of the cupboard, the tray containing butter, peanut butter, strawberry jam and sprinkles that were obviously for the bread. Aoi knew what Ruki had meant and he didn't want his vocalist to get any ideas. Smiling at the service Ruki showed, Aoi secretly wondered whether every morning went like this, with Reita and Uruha emerging from the halls together, laughing and looking messed up with Ruki in the kitchen ready with food… He wasn't envious, no not really; his life with Kai was similarly "harmonic" though he did sometimes wish to have a third person in the vicinity.

He was rather jealous of the Kanagawa men, to be honest; they seemed to be such a happy family! They often seemed like brothers, Reita and Uruha being the oh-so-contrast-twins with Ruki being the baby brother. But they often seemed like a real family, with Reita being the always-spoiling fun dad while Uruha was the tolerant and quiet mom whereas Ruki was the child who always looked for attention to mom but would turn to dad when he needed some serious pampering…

Ruki's voice snapped him out of his happy-family daydream, though.

"Help yourselves," Ruki shrugged, not really giving much attention towards Aoi's answer from before, but then again, the raven seemed to have forgotten his own question already! The chibi vocalist reached towards Uruha's face and flicked a strand of hair away from said guitarist's eyes making them lock gazes for a while. It seemed to Aoi as if they were exchanging some kind of secret message with each other silently, because the minute Ruki broke the gaze Uruha sighed quite audibly and reached out for a knife on the table and started to help himself with his breakfast, while Ruki was busy with making coffee. Frowning and feeling quite curious, Aoi decided to just reach out and help himself to breakfast, too. Ruki soon joined after he had made coffee for the three of them but somehow Aoi couldn't help but notice the awkward aura slowly creeping into the vicinity.

As predicted, the rest of the morning didn't go well. Uruha kept on fidgeting and seemed to be unable to decide whether he wanted Aoi near him or not, Ruki was supposed to be meeting Kai in an hour for an interview or something but he kept stalling time and finally requested for said band leader to pick him up while Aoi himself was just so bothered by it he decided to just give up and not give the situation around him any attention. He didn't know why but he didn't feel socializing right now. He just sat on the livingroom couch, alone, as Uruha was busy with something in his room.

The sound of polite rapping at the door managed to catch his attention, though, and Aoi stood up with a sigh as he dusted off his pants and walked off to the front door. He suspected that it was probably another pack if Ruki's friends or most likely Reita who was too lazy to open the door by himself. But what he didn't suspect was to meet the face of his current lover, standing rather fidgety by the front door as if hesitating whether to stay or just go back home. By the look on Kai's face, it was easy to say that Kai didn't expect for Aoi to open up the door either. The two of them seemed forgetful, where Aoi forgot that Ruki actually requested Kai to pick him up whereas Kai forgot that Aoi was over at Uruha's place.

"A – Aoi?" the drummer stuttered out, seemingly rather confused, the two of them looking as if they've passed each other in a mortuary, or any other weird place in Japan. They stared at eachother for a moment, Aoi not being able to find his voice nor gather his thoughts cause it keeps running away, until Kai then timidly smiled, as if indirectly asking for an answer.

"Uhm, Kai, uh, hi, what're you doing here?" Aoi finally managed to blab, and knowing that Kai knew that it was quite a dumb question, he could only manage to scratch his head sheepishly as he stood there, not knowing what to do, what else he should say. He knew that he should be happy that his boyfriend was here, but there were just too many emotions in his head that he couldn't make out which emotion to show.

"I'm picking up Ruki. We've got to take care of a few things and all… Sakai-sama is being very pushy lately," Kai answered, now seemingly more collected than his lover, and he smiled as he motioned for Aoi to take a step aside; he wanted to enter the house. Kai could feel Aoi staring at him as he took off his shoes, and the feeling slightly made him shiver. But he didn't know why he felt like it.

All of a sudden, though, Uruha walked in through the hall. The two ravens, who had of course caught his presence, automatically turned and looked up to meet Uruha's sudden shocked face. The rhythm guitarist stared wide-eyed at Kai for a moment before regaining his composure quickly and giving the drummer a nod that obviously acknowledged his presence before walking past the two of them and out onto the patio outside, clearly doing nothing seeing as the glass doors were transparent. The raven Scorpio, who had felt something odd in the stare Uruha had given him, merely frowned and decided to let the case rest for awhile, sensing that Aoi must've felt it too.

"That was… awkward," Kai let out a confused smile, "Um… Is he making any progress with you being here?" the drummer asked, having more than two reasons for asking. One, he really wanted Aoi to be back home ASAP because he felt uneasy at the look that Uruha had given the two of them earlier, and second, he actually felt kinda odd at why Reita couldn't be the one here babysitting Uruha. Sure, what Miyavi said was right, Uruha does adore Aoi a lot and Kai knew that his lover was the one who managed to make Uruha let out all of his emotions but it still kinda puzzled him. Well either that or Kai wasn't actually keen on letting Aoi go but then Kai beat himself inwardly for thinking that.

Don't be so selfish and think of others! The sooner Uruha can get better the sooner Aoi can come back home! he told himself.

"Umm, well yeah, he started eating by himself… He talks too now," Aoi replied, breaking Kai's concentration. Kai raised his eyebrows at the information and smiled genuinely this time.

"He talks? Really?"

"Well, yeah," Aoi said sheepishly, scratching his head, "Only in short curt sentences, though, consisting of only a word or four, but… That's progress, ne?" the older raven smiled sweetly, not knowing what else to explain, because there really wasn't anything else. He had only stayed in this place for a day or two - he forgot - and the only real significant thing that stuck itself in his mind was the sleeping events and what Uruha had said earlier in the morning. But that wasn't exactly something that he could outwardly and bluntly share to Kai now, could he?

"Yeah, I guess that's quite a progress…" Kai agreed, eyes suspiciously searching for Aoi's as he had noticed the worried gaze, "And I guess it was a good choice to let you stay here - What's wrong, love?"

"Huh?" Aoi immediately looked up, and tried his best to look normal, "Nothing, nothing… I'm listening to you, I am, I'm thinking you words over," Aoi excused, and Kai pursed his lips, not wanting to buy that excuse so easily but he finally decided to drop it and sighed.

"Alright then… How have you been holding up the last two days?" he asked gently, walking forward to hug his taller lover, "I missed you and it's only been days."

Aoi chuckled, "Yeah well, I missed you too love," he replied, hugging Kai back, "But the band comes first before everything, ne?"

"I know…" Kai pouted, "And I hate that sometimes," he stated, looking up at the Aquarius with adorable huge eyes that nobody could resist. Aoi smiled at the sight and leaned in.

"You're so adorable, you know that?" he whispered before he kissed Kai gently. The Scorpio was right, Aoi had been missing him too, even though he wasn't really aware of his feelings up until now, when he could finally taste Kai's lips again…

"Mmm," Kai suddenly broke away, shaking his head, "Nuh-uh, not here, I don't want anything to occur from only one kiss," the drummer sighed, rolling his eyes when Aoi seemed to want to protest, "I know what you can do, Aoi, don't try acting dumb about it," he stated bluntly, to which said guitarist smiled sheepishly. He knew that what Kai had said was right; he was an expert sweet-talker and he could make anyone do what he wants to… Including Kai who knew him more than anything and could see through him like a piece of glass.

"Okay then, I guess…" Aoi sighed, and Kai gave a pitiful sweet look before sighing.

"Anyways, I should really get going. Where's Ruki? I'm here to pick him up after all?" Kai asked, noticing the time as he glanced at the digital clock nestled upon the coffee table in the livingroom, and Aoi answered with a pout.

"Well, uh," the Scorpion's lover mumbled, "I think that Ruki's in his room… Do you want me to call him, or…?" Aoi offered, but Kai smiled and shook his head.

"No, I think I can make it on my own," he said, touching Aoi's arm, "Though I wouldn't mind if you'd like to accompany me," he added with a smile.

When Kai and Ruki departed for an interview - and something else, though Uruha couldn't catch what Kai had said to Aoi - Uruha had really wanted to get back inside the livingroom, but a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like his ego somehow prevented him from doing so and he obliged to the voice. He didn't even know why he decided to take a detour out into the patio! He was actually about to ask Aoi something - he forgot what he wanted to ask, that's weird - but seeing Kai there, just made him feel rather… Guilty. He didn't know why, but he just felt guilty, ashamed, shy - and angry? - that he suddenly turned speechless and decided to just go off and out into the patio; he had no business in the kitchen and beong in the livingroom just felt like… Suffocating. And he didn't have anything to do there either. Well, not like he had any out here, but still, it's better than just sitting around aimlessly in the kitchen.

Ruki was acting kinda weird, too. He had stayed in his room ever since breakfast, and he didn't say single word to Uruha afterwards, either. When the rhythm guitarist had followed him into his room, the blonde had merely ignored his presence. He had this sort of killing aura around him, a sad killing aura, and it made Uruha back off, out the room and into his own dormitories. Sure, he knew that he could've possibly have had played a role into turning Ruki so suddenly emo, but…

"Uruha?" Aoi's voice - Uruha knew it was - called him from the glass sliding doors, his head peeking out from between the open gap, "What are you doing out there? Get in," the older raven slightly commanded, and with a sigh, he turned around and did as he was told, entering the house once again without a single word, without even the slightest bit of eye contact. Uruha just didn't feel like socializing now, somehow. It was weird actually, the way how his mood could change so quickly, the way he could notice that there was actually something wrong with him and his actions but he just didn't feel like correcting it. What was wrong with Uruha? Not even the guitarist himself could answer.

Aoi, however, took the silence and signs of anti-socializing as something that needed extra attention. It was just plain weird. Uruha was acting randomly, as if doing anything that fits his mood. Sure, Aoi had seen these kind of symptoms before, on Ruki usually, and sometimes on Kai and Reita but he had rarely seen it worn by Uruha. It was just… Unlike him. At all. The Uruha he used to know usually knows how to control his anger and mood, always focusing on what had to be done at the moment, or what lays ahead of him, or whatever just seemed fitting, the right thing to do at that exact second. What comes after, comes after. Uruha had even put sleep in second place! But now it's as if he'll just do whatever his heart felt like doing. And this simply made Uruha unpredictable in a bad way.

"Ne, Uru? Daijoubu desu ka?" he asked when he slid the glass doors shut, watching Uruha flop down on the red sofa, giving Aoi a shrug accompanied by a shake of the head as a makeshift reply. The raven Aquarius sighed, knowing that Uruha's makeshift replies could either mean that he was hiding something or that he was simply not in the mood to talk… And Aoi knew that Uruha was feeling both.

"Please don't go all quiet on me again…" Aoi pleaded softly, "I don't want you to be stuck in a rut again, Uruha… It's devastating to look at," the raven stated, and Uruha frowned at the statement, looking up with what seemed like hurt eyes. Devastating to look at? What was that supposed to mean? Did Aoi only stay here because he felt sorry and make the band okay again, and not because he cared? Did he only do it because Kai told him to and not because he wanted to? Uruha was miffed. He didn't know why, but he felt super-miffed about this, he felt kinda hurt. He knew he wasn't supposed to, didn't have the right to, and he did not want to believe that he felt something for Aoi because he simply didn't feel anything - did he? - and his feelings only go to Kanon and Ruki but he just knew - or wanted to know - that this was unjust and… Since when did he turn so childish like this? And since when did felt similar feelings for both Kanon and for Ruki? Ruki was just his little brother, period. Uruha then realized that there was something very wrong with himself but he really wasn't in the mood for self-introspection anyway and so he pushed the nagging voice away and glared at Aoi challengingly.

"You don't care," Uruha pursed his lips, his gaze turning cold, and with a cross of his arms, the honey-brunette looked away, fixing his beautifully cold eyes onto a painting that Ruki had once made, which now hung right above the television. Aoi was obviously perplexed by the answer and he wanted to demand a real explanation, but after an afterthought, he knew it wouldn't succeed anyway. Uruha only spoke in a few words now and there was no use in forcing him to talk. Aoi sighed.

"Whatever. Have it your way," he shook his head, knowing that there was nothing he could except let Uruha calm down. He made his way into Reita's room, the room that was his for the moment, and lied down onto the blue-sheeted bed, closing his eyes and trying to think. The others were right; he did have the ability to make Uruha okay again, but the trouble was he didn't know Uruha well enough to communicate with him…

But Reita does, doesn't he? his conscience grinned at him, and at that moment Aoi know to whom he should call help to.

---

Kai forced a gentle smile on his face as the interview ended and everyone made their way out of the 39 TV station's Studio 1. As usual, Ruki had chosen to not talk much and left the talking to Kai, and everytime he was being addressed to, the vocalist gave a small smile. Of course, the interviewers couldn't help but noticing the sudden vanishing of the GazettE right after their tours, but Ruki merely answered with a curt, "Subete wa ii deshita. Shinpai shinaide yo, minna-san," he stated emotionlessly, "Everything is all right. Don't worry, everyone. We will release our single at the 7th of October on time," the whole while putting up that stoic face of his and that familiar half-hearted smile.

This was their last interview for the day (they've already had four) and the Aquarius had been entirely quiet for the past eight or so hours, and Leader-sama thought that it was maybe a part of his whole "emotional planning" - yes, Ruki had always been having these odd quirks - and the raven honestly thought that the younger one would quit it after everything was over. But unfortunately for Kai, Ruki had kept up his act even after the show, even after they exited the studio, and even after they entered the car. Ruki had wanted to drive so Kai let him, thinking that maybe he could get something out of the blonde by giving him what he wanted, but it turned out the opposite. Maybe it was because he was driving, but…

"Ne, Ru-kun?" Kai spoke up, wanting to at least start a simple conversation since Ruki's emo-aura was starting to make him uncomfortable, but Ruki oddly didn't respond. Turning to meet Ruki's eyes, Kai could see that his vocalist's thoughts were obviously somewhere else, though it was also partially focused on the road, but that was it. His head was fully occupied.

Wonder what he's thinking….? Kai thought, and he made another attempt at bringing Ruki back to Earth.

"Ne, Taka-chan?" he called with the vocalist's real name, and it got Ruki's attention. The blonde had turned around with his eyebrows raised and his eyes filled with slight curiosity. Kai smiled as he read the question in those honestly childish eyes and cocked his head to the side.

"Why have you been so occupied?" he asked with a gentle smile, to which Ruki merely gulped at as he turned his attention back to the road.

"Um… I've just been thinking about Shima-kun, I guess…" Ruki sighed, a hint of admittance obvious in his voice. Kai frowned at the name and halted himself from blurting out a dozen questions at once. Wasn't Uruha doing just fine and making nice progress - according to Aoi - but then again, it did seem his lover was hiding something when he spaced out earlier… Inwardly sighing, the Scorpio raven calmed himself down and decided to voice out the most neutral question in the world…

"You mean Uruha?"

"Yeah…" Ruki sighed as he stopped by a red light, "He's acting kinda weird now."

"Weird in what way?" Kai continued, trying to make Ruki talk more, because he's now starting to have this kinda weird feeling… "Aoi said that Uruha-kun is starting to talk and eat, and he's opening up more too?"

"Well, yeah…" Ruki admitted with sigh as he changed the gear and sped past the now green light, "But it's all only towards Yuu-kun, anyway," he explained rather vaguely, keeping up the real-name basis - which meant that there was something bothering him - and seeming not wanting to talk much, "He's not changing much towards other people."

Kai frowned, "What, so you mean that he's only talking to Aoi?"

"Kinda like that," Ruki rounded off the conversation half-heartedly, and it then became totally quiet in the car. The vocalist's mind was back on its original track - wherever that may be - but the drummer's mind was on a totally new track; it was immediately filled with jealous thoughts. He shook them off as fast as he could, of course, but he just couldn't help thinking why Aoi forgot to mention that small glitch to him. Sure, maybe there wasn't time, or maybe it just didn't came to his mind, but still…

STOP thinking like that, Yutaka! Kai's inner mind snapped at him, YOU were the one who made this decision, remember? And Kai knew that his conscience was right. Besides, he still remembered the rather obvious hint that Aoi had given him a few days ago, which obviously stated that he should just learn to put more trust into his lover…

"Yuta-kun?" Ruki suddenly spoke up, and it shook Kai out of his rather negative thought. Clearing his thoughts - and his mind - Leader-sama of the GazettE turned his attention to his youngest member and faked up a sweet dimpled smile.

"Yes?"

"Can I come home to your place?" the younger one requested, "I don't feel like coming home somehow… I'm not in the mood to see Shima-kun…"

And by the tone of Ruki's voice - and the way he started using real names - Kai had no other choice.

"Mochiron da yo," Leader-sama smiled gently, reassuringly, "Of course."

In the meanwhile, things are going quite smoothly over at the Kanagawa household, where Aoi was being very tempted to throw things out the window while Uruha was being plain annoyingly quiet as he clung to an uneasy Reita. Yes, the nose-banded bassist had been called by Aoi to try and ask around what was wrong with the rhythm guitarist. Even though Reita wasn't exactly the type of someone that can make someone like Uruha talk, the bassist could definitely read his best friend and that was all Aoi needed; to find out what's wrong. But sadly, the only way Reita could do that was by searching Uruha's eyes, or by the way he talked or acted; and the latter had been refusing said eye contact, movement or any kind of reaction up until now. The honey-brunette beauty preferred physical contact; he was and is now still hugging Reita as if he were a life-sized teddy bear.

The feminine guitarist had almost driven Aoi to the edge of exasperation.

"Are you sure you didn't do anything to him?" Reita asked again for what seemed to be the umpteenth time, and Aoi rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time as well, talking as if Uruha didn't even exist in the room.

"Of course I'm sure! Why do you keep asking me that?" he half-snapped at the bassist, to which the latter slightly winced at.

"Gee, no need to bite my head off about it," Reita huffed as he went back to stroking Uruha's honey-brunette locks, "But those are the only signs he's showing -"

"So dewa nai yo!" Uruha's muffled snap came from below Reita before said older Gemini could finish his sentence. Right now, the younger Gemini was hugging Reita's waist with his face buried in the bassist's abdomen, refusing to let go for apparently more than a few reasons.

"Well how could I know if you won't tell me what's wrong?" Reita sighed, feeling very annoyed, ceasing his gentle stroking, "If you don't wanna talk then you could at least let me search for it myself!" he demanded, but again, the younger one shook his head persistently and tightened his grip on the older one's waist.

Aoi sighed as he flopped down on the couch opposite of the two and laid back onto the leaning. Great, he thought, Now Uruha's acting childishly like Ruki, which was obviously very unlike him. Aoi knew that what Reita was suggesting may probably be right, because Uruha was just fine the other night and he had just started to act weird after Kai had come along - Wait a minute.

He did act weird after seeing me with Kai… But why would that be a trigger? Aoi pondered, and the hazy look became apparent on his face as he started to think thoroughly… Until he remembered a small glitch in the morning that made him realize it was a mistake for Kai to put him here.

"Aw damn," he mumbled, and a few minutes later, he was already out into the patio explaining everything to his bassist, freaked out. He knew it was a bad idea ever since Reita uttered the suggestion, and he was giving Reita every piece of mind he had. Said Gemini's reaction, though, as always, surprised him.

Nonchalantly, after a few seconds of thought, he opened his mind and said, "So he kissed you?"

And not to mention annoying, Aoi grumbled at the back of his mind, and forcing himself to calm down by leaning over the patio's railing, he answered with restrained annoyance.

"Yes he did and he called me Shin-chan as well."

"Oh," Reita mumbled, and he pouted in thought for a minute, "Well, sheer bad luck I guess, but you have to go on with it anyway," the bassist commented with an indifferent shrug, and his friend could only gawk at him incredulously for a minute or two before he snapped out of it and tried with all the sanity left in him to not harm the younger band personnel.

Aoi was really miffed by now, "How can you act so calmly about this? If he thinks I'm his dead boyfriend, he will never get over Kanon! You understand him better, why aren't you the one staying here? This is still your house anyway!" the Aquarius said heatedly, angry that Reita wasn't taking things seriously enough. Said Gemini seemed to notice this and changed his attitude, surely but slowly.

"Look," he sighed as he leaned onto the railing and entwined his fingers which lay on his lower abdomen, now turning serious, "I don't give suggestions without thinking first. Kai is too sweet, too motherly; if Leader-sama stayed here, Uruha won't be having any progress. Ruki is too selfish and childish to be taking care of Uruha. Besides, he's younger, and much less superior; he'd easily control Taka-chan, ne? And if it were me…" he paused, "Then there won't be a difference either," he concluded, now looking right into Aoi's gentle brown eyes, "I'm not a talker, Aoi-san, and I know Uruha too well. If I were the one staying here, he'd be able to say what he wanted, to hint what was wrong with him, without even telling me, despite the fact that our main goal is to make Uruha talk again and force him to try and reach everyone else to forget about Kanon… So…"

"So, what? Go on, I'm listening."

Reita gave a cocky grin, "So that's why you're here. You're a great talker, you care about him and he cares about you too, but you guys don't know each other well," Reita shifted his position a bit, "So this situation will force him to tell you and explain to you everything about himself, what he wants, what he feels, what's wrong with him…" and the blonde trailed off, clearly hinting for the older one to finish off the thought himself. Aoi merely stayed in silence, clearly digesting Reita's explanation.

"Okay, fine, I get it. But there is still one thing bugging me," Aoi sighed, giving Reita a slight challenging look.

"Which is?"

"How can Uruha mistake me as Kanon?" the Aquarius asked, and Reita gave a slightly secretive, mischievous smile. He sighed, averted his gaze to the open sky, thinking, before taking a deep breath, answering without averting his gaze.

"You're like him. From your appearance to the way you care about people, the way you talk, think, smile, almost everything. The only difference is that you're more mature and grounded. You can say no to people, you can stand up for yourself. Kanon can't. He never could, especially when it concerns the people he cares about. He's more childish, clingy in a way, but he's like you. He can also make drastic decisions that other people won't risk, just like you," Reita explained, talking more to himself than the tall beauty accompanying him, "When I first saw you, I had to admit that the first person that came to my mind was that boy."

Reita stopped talking, and silence ensued. Aoi was thinking, taking in Reita's explanation, whilst said bassist had torn his gaze from the sky. It was… Shocking, in a way. Shocking for the guitarist, at least. He personally had never thought that he had many in common with said late bassist. The younger one just seemed more cheerful, sweet, patient… Aoi couldn't really pride himself for having much patience, except towards strangers. After a minute of two, Aoi finally nodded as an indication of understanding, "Wakatta… So what's next then?"

Unexpectedly though, the bassist laughed, lifting himself off the railing and sauntering towards the door connecting the patio and the livingroom. It seemed as if he wasn't keen on giving a real reply to it, until he stopped in his tracks right before the sliding glass door and looked behind over his shoulders.

"There is no what next," he laughed teasingly, "Just do what feels right."

Later in the afternoon, somewhere near 7 a.m., Reita left for home, surprisingly without much protest from his best friend guitarist. The bassist seemed rather glad that Uruha didn't do anything, though, and left without a real goodbye or anything. The left alone honey-brunette guitarist pouted his ducky-lips after the departing of his blonde soulmate and he retreated himself into his bedroom. Aoi didn't even bother following him; he just kept himself busy with his own stuff, occasionally checking up on his junior to only make sure he was okay and didn't do any weird stuff to anything - or anyone - in the room, and to call him for dinner.

3 hours or so passed and the only thing keeping Aoi from turning in to bed was Ruki's absence. He had already tried to contact said vocalist and his beloved drummer but their keitais were apparently dead. Luckily for him though, Kai called a half an hour later, a few minutes right before he had decided to just go out there and look for the two most important persons in the GazettE himself. Half-relieved, the tall raven reached for his phone and took the call.

"Kai?" he immediately shot into the receiver, and he could hear the sweet giggle from the other side.

"Haha, yeah," the drummer replied, the smile obvious through his voice, "Sorry for the late notice, I've just realized that I've left my keitai in the car to slowly die out of battery, hihi.." the forgetful Scorpio admitted, "What is it, Aoi-kun? Why did you call?"

"Ah, no," Aoi sighed in relief, "I was just wondering where Ruki was. He's still with you, isn't he?" he asked, and for a minute there, Kai sounded utterly confused, as if he were a mother who had forgotten where she'd put her baby. The Aquarius forced himself to just not go and break the silence by popping the question and just stayed silent.

"Ruki-san…" Kai finally spoke up, "Ah yeah, well, he's with me here," he said hesitantly, "He didn't wanna go home because he was… Um… He just doesn't wanna see Uruha-kun at the moment…" his lover explained in a motherly way, "Plus he's starting to go on this first-name basis so I think there's something wrong," and Aoi inwardly giggled at the thought of Kai being Ruki's mother and trying to hide Ruki's bad deeds from his father… Gah! What is it with me and those weird thoughts lately? Aoi rolled his eyes, inwardly shaking his head, replying to Kai's explanation.

"Ah, sou…" he hummed, "Well, at least he's safe with you, ne? I've just had Reita come over by the way… I think you two should come by a few days after, when the shoots and all are over… It's something I think we should discuss…" he said, meaning what he said. Sure, he was also avoiding possible jealousy because he had a hunch on how Kai'd act if he found out that Aoi looked loads like Kanon… At least if the others were here, said drummer couldn't really do much, could he? It was tricky of him, but people needs tricks - and sometimes lies - to survive. It's like the blood running in our veins.

"Huh? Why, what is it? Can't you tell me now?" Kai asked, his childish side coming out, and Aoi laughed.

"No, I think I can't, love. You'd need to hear Reita's side of the story… He understands the situation better. Okay?"

"Mm… Okay… So me and Ruki are gonna come over?" the drummer asked for reconfirmation, and Aoi nodded.

"Yeah, that's about it."

"Oh, I guess it's alright then," Kai agreed, sounding as if he was on the verge of asking something, "I've things to tell and ask you guys too, maybe we should do it on Saturday? Saturday morning? I could call Meevs for you?" the dimpled sweetie offered, and Aoi frowned.

"Meevs?"

"Yeah," Kai said as-a-matter-of-factly, "He was there when we initiated the plan, and he's such a rikaisha, an understanding person, and he's smart, ne? Besides, I doubt that he'd let Reita out of the house on a Saturday," the younger one giggled cutely, and Aoi had this sudden thought to just abandon Uruha here alone and go back home.

"Hm, okay, then you can call up the Kabuki Boy for me," Aoi laughed, "He accepts you as his mother anyway, so I guess he'd do whatever you'll say," he commented, and Kai laughed. The cannons of laughter didn't last very long though, and surely but slowly, silence slowly crept in between them. It was weird, really, he was never out of conversation with his lover, but this time his brain's just plain blank. He couldn't figure out anything else to say, but…

"Um, ano, Aoi-kun?" Kai started.

"Hai?"

"I think I have to go now," he said uneasily, "I was kind of cooking with Ruki and I don't want him to burn up anything, so…"

"You wanna go?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Okay, now this was awkward. Very, very, awkward. They never hung up on each other like this, they usually ended the phone call because the house phone was ringing, or because the cooking in the kitchen is burning, or because it was raining outside and they've forgot to get in the laundry… Never because they ran out of things to say. As quiet Aoi and Kai were, they always had something to say to each other. And Aoi knew that what Kai had said about cooking with Ruki is a simple excuse to break the uneasy silence and get it over with. This knowledge hurt him a tad bit, but there was no avoiding it.

"Well… Um, bye then…" Kai finally said awkwardly before hanging up on his lover without waiting for a reply. Aoi could only stare at the phone in his hands for a few minutes, dumbfounded as he listened to the beeping sound of the unconnected line, and he somehow felt… Nothing. No emptiness, no guilt, no uneasiness, no nothing.

Something is definitely wrong with me, Aoi concluded, Taking care of a person can't affect you this much, can it? he thought to himself, but then again, he reconsidered that statement. This is Uruha he's staying with. No matter how calm, quiet, and normal-looking that kid might seem, many things can happen if you hang around with him…

At the thought, Aoi sighed and shook it out of his head. He shouldn't really think about it. There are things that you should dwell on and there are things you shouldn't even think about. With one last glance at the livingroom around him, checking whether the stoves in the kitchen weren't on and making sure that both the front door and patio door were locked, Aoi made his way into the bathroom and took a long hot shower to get his mind off of things. He had always loved water and said element could always calm him.

After a half an hour or so, clothed in his usual sleeping attire, the melody guitarist exited the bathroom feeling more relaxed than before and went into Reita's room, the room he was currently staying in, for a goodnight's rest. But his steps halted in the middle of the hall as he heard rustles from the open bedroom door beside him. Frowning - and also realizing that it's actually Uruha's full-purple room - the tall Aquarius refrained from walking towards his room to stay in and went the other way, peeking through the open door. He saw the honey-brunette curled up to his side, his back facing the door, but it was obvious to Aoi that his junior was not sleeping. He was thrashing around silently, a clear case of sleeping problems. A small grin graced his lips, and the tall one entered the vicinity, with gentle steps. As if sensing the older one's presence, Uruha's body stiffened immediately, making it seem to some people that he really were asleep. But Aoi knew him better.

"Na na, I know that you're not really sleeping, kouhai," Aoi said in half-cooing manner, his emotions having brightened up, "What's wrong?" and without a second thought, he sat by the younger one's back, and peered over to see his face. Smiling at the sleeping act Uruha insisted on keeping up, he leaned over and began tapping the younger one's nose gently, repeatedly, until Uruha got sick of it and sat up, pushing Aoi's hand away with the back of his hand, an adorably annoyed look visible on his face as he stared at Aoi.

'Nani?' his eyes seemed to say, and Aoi chuckled at the cute sight.

"Can't sleep, can you?" he asked, not really hoping nor expecting for Uruha to answer it, but surprisingly, the younger one shook his head slowly. He seemed bothered, honestly, and Aoi was on the verge of actually asking what was wrong until he realised that the young one simply wouldn't answer. Sure, he did answer this question, but asking what was wrong seemed a tad more touchy for Aoi and he didn't want the honey-brunette to retreat back into his nutshell. Especially after all that Reita had told him.. If Aoi really did look like the bassist, then why not use it to a certain advantage?

"Scoot over," the raven ordered gently, and without waiting for an answer, said guitarist slipped beneath the covers, not paying attention to Uruha's surprised what-the-hell-are-you-doing look. He didn't want this; why was his senpai here, anyway? He wanted him to be gone, faraway from him! Why couldn't Aoi just go back home? But then again, why was he so against the raven melodist? Didn't he admire, idolize said Aquarius before? What made him angry towards the guitarist in the first place anyway? He couldn't even remember! Was it because his idol already had a lover? No, that wasn't possible. Uruha sighed in defeat towards himself, and seeing as Aoi was already there anyway, he finally consented thus letting his own body move back beneath the covers with his back towards his senpai, having just realised how odd it was to have a protector beside him. It had been Ruki beside him all this time, someone he was used to protect, and the few nights before with Aoi was something done rather unconsciously, he simply needed someone to hold onto…

Wagamama, his conscience snapped at him, Selfish, and Uruha inwardly glared at his conscience before sighing, as he realized that this awkwardness wasn't exactly something bad. He felt… safe, as if he didn't need to worry about anything else in the world. Slightly hesitating, Uruha turned around and slowly nuzzled into his melodist's chest, his warmth making Uruha feel more content than ever. Aoi, on the other hand, was rather shocked. What is this? he thought as he felt his kouhai snuggle closer towards him; it honestly reminded him of the time when they were still newbies and Ruki was so scared of the thunder at the time that he kept on clinging onto Kai as if said Leader-sama were his mother…

Uruha can't possibly think of me as his mother… Could he?

And with that last awkward thought lingering in his mind, the black eyes of Shiroyama Yuu fell closed in a slumber as his kouhai lay beside him. The night just seemed so peaceful, and the slumber he had fallen into was simply serene… Until he felt annoying poking at his cheek repeatedly. What the hell, Uruha? he thought, seriously annoyed, and he was on the verge to just slap the hand away, but then he realised the following things;

One. Uruha would never ever poke. Anybody, anywhere, anytime. Two. The skin making contact with his cheek was simply ice cold. And three, the fingers poking at him were smoother and smaller. And Aoi knew how big Uruha's hands were. Forcing his heavily lidded eyes open, the Aquarius needed a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the dim surroundings, but the more clear his vision got, the more he believed that he needed a full eye-check, for the person hovering over him, having poked his cheek for the past few minutes, was Kanon.

Yes, the Kanon from AnCafe who was supposed to be dead weeks ago, who now seems to be cheerfully smiling and waving at him with an innocent, "Hi~"

Blinking, Aoi mumbled a blunt, "Aren't you dead already?" as he sat up, and the young raven pouted cutely as he sat down by Aoi's feet on the bed, not making the bed creak in the slightest.

"That's harsh," he mumbled with his adorably pouted lips, "I didn't expect such an answer from you, Aoi-san," with a sigh, "But yes, I was supposed to be, but since I was so sweet before I died, one of the Angels said I could see the one person closest to me," Kanon smiled childishly, and Aoi arched a brow.

"The one person… closest to you?" he repeated sceptically, and the bassist laughed a very hearty laugh, replying.

"Well, one per category," he explained, "Like, one from my family, one from my friends, etc. I've been over to Bou and all he did was cry so I could hardly get anything across, haha.." he giggled adorably, and after observing the pretty youngster, he had to admit that Kanon did kinda remind him of Ruki, with all the smiles and cheerful eyes, but he just couldn't fathom where the similarities with him were! Okay, aside from the black hair. I mean, his eyes are bigger and more innocent, he seemed more patient, and he seemed so carefree… Or was the latter simply the after-effects of being dead?

"And I'm in which category exactly?" Aoi asked, and Kanon laughed again.

"None," he chirped with a shrug, and Aoi stared sceptically at the youthful raven, thinking to himself that maybe even ghosts suffer from sheer stupidities, but he didn't have time to ponder about it as Kanon continued explaining, "But Shima-kun though," he pointed at the honey-brunette sleeping beside Aoi, "Is in my Precious Person's List."

"So why the fish are you talking to me?"

"Because it'd bring more pain to Shima-kun if I showed up to him," Kanon sighed, the cheerfulness being replaced by pure sadness as he whispered, "I saw how he reacted when I passed. The pain, loss, grief… It pained me too much I wasn't even allowed to pass the river because there were too many melancholies tying me to the living… To Uruha," he sighed, "And Bou of course," he added as an afterthought, "But he still tried to let me go. Shima-kun didn't. I saw his attempt to murder himself slowly, and I was really worried until I saw you showing up here and make his life better. I once thought that Ruki-kun could do it, but it seems that you bring more influence towards him, Aoi-san," he smiled.

"Uhm…" Aoi tried to digest Kanon's explanation, "Okay, I kinda get that part… But what do you want with me, exactly?"

"I just…" the late bassist fidgeted, "I just want you to take care of him. I believe you'd know why it's got to be you…" he sighed, "Honestly, I want him to forget me and move on. Start over. It'll be the best for both of us. I could go in peace and he'd live happy. That's all I've ever wanted… Besides, I think that -" but Kanon stopped half-way his sentence as the sleeping figure beside Aoi started to move and groan; Uruha was waking up. Kanon's eyes shifted towards Aoi and Uruha as he stood up, panicked.

"Look, I think he's way better off with you for now," he continued in a hurry, "I've to go now, I can't let more than one person see me and I've got to go over to Tatsuya's," the young one said as he backed away towards the door, "Tell Takashima-kun that I love him, I forgive him and he doesn't have to regret anything, alright? Please tell him, someday, but not now. Alright? I have to go…"

And the next moment, Aoi found himself staring - not at the door where a half-frantic ghost of a dead bassist had stood - but at the ceiling of Uruha's full-purple room, with said guitarist lying beside him, awake, looking at him worriedly. The raven honestly felt disoriented, he didn't even realized that he had closed his eyes… Was it just a dream? But ghosts don't just come into people's dreams randomly and pass on messages like that… But Aoi's train of thoughts were interrupted as Uruha's voice cut the nightly silence with a timidly gentle and sleepy voice.

"Daijoubu?" he asked, "Are you okay?" the question sounding sincere though through only a single word. Aoi's eyes turned from the ceiling towards Uruha's tired, groggy face, but it oddly seemed beautiful to him, still. He closed his eyes for a moment, sighed, and opened them again as he talked.

"I… don't know… I guess… I just had a weird dream…" he admitted, and Uruha cocked his head to the side with an adorably curious look on his face.

"Akumu ka?" he suggested, "Nightmare?" but Aoi closed his eyes as a negative answer.

"No, no, not exactly, I - Um, did anybody come inside the room?" he asked, avoiding the question, and Uruha merely shook his head, his face showing more curiosity. Aoi sighed and thought his dream sleepily over. Maybe it was true maybe it was not, but it was now probably really late…

"Why did you wake up?" Aoi asked, and Uruha shrugged, answering with a huge yawn.

"Hoaaam… Thrashing," Uruha replied, again with only a single word, and his raven-haired senpai sighed. Aoi knew that it was his thrashing that woke Uruha up, and he knew it was just by looking at the digital alarm-clock, which clearly showed 02.49 a.m. in the morning. The raven remembered the message that Kanon had wanted him to pass on, but then again it was very early in the morning and Aoi's disorientation made him more sleepy that he's supposed to be…

"Kay.. Go back to sleep, ne?" the melodist yawned, patting the free space beside him. His kouhai complied with a sleepy nod, flopping down beside his senpai exactly at the space Aoi had indicated. The honey blonde innocently rested his head upon Aoi's upper chest, almost nuzzling the older one's neck and curling his arm around the raven's slim waist, falling into slumber quite quickly. Aoi was obviously quite surprised at the act, but he was just too tired to say anything about it and he was still quite confused about the dream he had so he simply didn't say anything and moved the arm that Uruha had occupied around the younger one's shoulder, embracing him also. Hugs won't do any harm, would they?

---

A couple of days passed and everything seemed to be going on normally. The plan on Saturday got cancelled because it turned out Kai couldn't come because his mother needed him for something; Miyavi had a meeting; and Ruki had simply disappeared from the face of the Earth. Nobody could reach the chibi vocalist by phone and Kai didn't know where he was. All the drummer knew was that Ruki had gone off at ten in the morning but the blonde didn't tell him where he was going. But still Reita was there at the Kanagawa household, on his old PlayStation 2 playing GTA with Uruha beside him, the two childhood friends laughing their asses off and making fun of each other each time one of them lost or when one of their cars crashed into each other, or another car. Maybe it was simply Reita, maybe it was the game, or maybe Uruha was starting to get over the shock; but the honey-brunette was able to laugh again and he even gave his small unimportant dumb comments to every little thing he thought funny. It was almost as if he was going back to normal and Aoi had actually felt relieved a few days before when this started to happen; he just hoped that his kouhai wouldn't break down again.

"Ah! I lost again!" Reita said out loud, pouting as Uruha once again beat him into being the first that arrived at the finish line. The honey-brunette just laughed at his victory and tapped Reita's nose as his adorable smile graced his face.

"Ne, you're lousier now," he commented, smiling, and Reita tried to bite Uruha's finger as a sign of protest.

"You've never been this good. I think that you've been playing games all this time instead of being sick, haven't you?" the bassist accused and his friend laughed, shaking his head. Seeing Uruha like this almost made him feel like everything is back to normal, if only there wasn't something missing, something wrong… Reita simply felt that Uruha's cheerfulness is that of a child's, as if his best friend was back to being a small kid… The Uruha here with him wasn't exactly the Uruha that he knew. As their laughter died down, Reita stood up with a sigh, patting Uruha's head who was still sitting on the floor below him who gave him a curious, questioning look.

"Where's Aoi anyways?" Reita asked as an answer, and Uruha shrugged.

"Calling. Kai maybe," the honey-brunette answered curtly as always, standing up with the help of Reita's hand, and suddenly walking out of the room, dragging Reita along with him by the hand. The two best friends found their senpai outside by the patio, phone in his hand. The older raven was facing the scenery so the two can't really see him but at least they knew who it was. Silence filled the air between them as they've now have nothing to do, but then an idea got into Uruha's head.

"Do my hair? Please?" the honey-brunette requested like a child, "Just simple highlights. Please?" the younger one begged with a cute smile, and Reita chuckled, nodding.

"Okay, sure. Where's the dye?" he agreed, and Uruha gave him the answer by dragging said bassist all the way to the bathroom. An hour or so after, Aoi came inside the livingroom, having just phoned his lover. It turned out that Kai's cousin was getting married and that was the reason why he couldn't show up today. Aoi had told him about how things were at his place and vice versa, but the two of them soon ran out of topics again and it was once again Kai who took the liberty and broke off the line, saying that he had to go. This was getting very awkward and now Aoi was seriously convinced that he had to go back home as soon as possible. His closeness with Uruha wasn't exactly brightening up his days either…

Especially with what Kanon wanted me to do! he remembered with a sigh, flopping down onto the sofa. The raven was so lost in his own thoughts that he failed to realize that one of his bandmates had strolled inside the room, noticing his troubled face and walking up towards him.

"Ne, Aoi-kun? Daijobu ka? Doushite no?" Reita asked as he sat down beside the melodist who had jumped up a bit at the question as he didn't see the younger one enter the vicinity. The bassist seemed kinda chirpy today, or was he always like that? Hm, but it had certainly been a while since Aoi had seen him smile this bright.

"Aoi-kun?" Reita repeated, and Aoi got shaken out of his thoughts once again.

"Uh yeah, sorry. What were you saying?" the melodist quickly recovered, leaving the younger one to stare at him oddly for a second before answering rather hesitantly.

"Uhm, I was asking what was wrong… You seemed spaced out, seriously. Since the very first minute I came here you acted as if you didn't know me. You just opened the door, smiled a bit and walked off. The next thing I knew I saw you outside at the patio talking to someone on your phone. You're weird, Aoi-kun. Is Uruha's depression wearing off on you?" he asked quite innocently, and Aoi gave a thin smile, shifting his position on the seat to slightly face his band member.

"No, I've just been thinking…" he mumbled, looking over his shoulder, "Um, where's Uruha?" he asked for good measures, trying his best to ignore the odd look that he knew Reita was giving him.

"He's in the bathroom.." the blonde bassist answered rather cautiously, "I've just finished helping him with his highlights. Why?"

"Well… It's about…" and Aoi trailed off, hesitated. What the hell was he supposed to say? 'Yeah well, last night the ghost of Uruha's dead boyfriend came over and told me to take care of his almost-crazy honey-brunette'? Hmm… But then again, that sentence could work, with a few edits here and there… Aoi inwardly face-palmed himself, I'm going crazy…

"Aoi-kun?" Reita called him back to Earth, and Aoi took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, he thought, and he told Reita everything that had happened last night, but as an afterthought he also told the bassist about him and Kai. Okay, maybe not everything see as it's a part of their personal love life but he did tell the blonde that Kai was acting weird, that Aoi himself was feeling weird, and also that he felt they were changing… The relationship, that is.

"And we just hung up like that," the raven melodist sighed, blowing upwards so that his bangs were flying in the air for a few seconds, "What do you think about it?"

"Well…" Reita finally spoke up a few seconds, "I don't get it. What are you worried about then?" he shrugged, as if not really caring about Aoi's relationship one single bit. If only he were a bit more sensitive, he could surely feel the slight killing aura radiating off of his senpai.

"You're so thick-headed, aren't you?" Aoi glared, feeling that he could head-desk the bassist if only he didn't need his advice so much, "I just don't want my six-year relationship fade away that easily. I mean, I saw many of my friends have these year-long relationships and have it indicated by the smallest changes."

"Such as?" the younger Gemini inquired, raising one of his legs up to the sofa.

"For example, uh…" Aoi paused to think for a minute, "Ah! Shou and Saga. They've been the talk of even the whole PSCompany, and almost nobody hasn't ever seen them making out in every corner of the building, right?" the Aquarius stated, and Reita laughed.

"Yeah. Remember that time we caught them in kissing in the elevator?" the bassist recalled, and Aoi made a face that clearly showed disgust, as if the founding had scarred him for life.

"Ew. Don't remind me," he shuddered, "Anyways. They've been like this for what, three years? And only a few months ago Uruha had found Shou crying over small things that should be tolerated like attention and stuff - "

"Ne matte," Reita cut him off, "Didn't those two lovebirds break up a few weeks ago because Saga forgot Shou's birthday?" the bassist asked, pure curiosity plastered on his face, and Aoi looked at him, blank, for one whole minute before answering.

"Well uh. Not sure. But if it's true, well… Maybe that topped everything off. I mean, it could actually be tolerated since Saga had lots of things on his hands at the time…"

"I heard his brother was sick," Reita cut him off again, and now Aoi stared at him as if the blonde had just grown a second head.

"Yeah, among other things," Aoi mumbled, slightly wondering how Reita would know these small gossip and why the hell they were now gossiping like women, "Anyways, I don't want that to happen to me. In their case, if was toleration and attention fading away, and I don't want my lack of ability to maintain a simple conversation be the main reason for a breakup."

"Ah right," Reita spoke up, staying silent for a few minutes before continuing, "Well to be honest, there's not much I can help you about that. That's something internal that you two have to fix. I don't have anything to do with it. Just be there for him when he needs it," Reita shrugged, and Aoi gave him a sceptic look.

"Well that's another thing that seems kinda impossible to do," he stated as a matter of factly, and Reita raised his eyebrows.

"And how might that be?"

"Uruha," Aoi stated bluntly, and Reita chuckled.

"Ah yeah, the sick little girl next door."

"Exactly. How am I supposed to be there for Kai when he needs me while Uruha seems to need me almost half of the time? Especially now that Kanon had came to me himself in person -"

"In spirit," Reita corrected, earning a glare from Aoi, who then continued as if nothing had happened.

"- and asked me to take care of your twin-like best friend!"

"Well okay, so the message of a dead person thing might be important, but that still makes me rather curious. How did Kanon exactly say it, anyway? Did he just plainly say that you should take care of Uru-pon at all times, or until he's better?" Reita asked, obviously more interested in this topic than the one before. Aoi stayed silent for a few minutes at the question, trying to recall Kanon's exact words at the time…

"Well, he said that he wanted me to take care of Uruha so that Uru could begin a fresh leaf and start all over again with his life… And he also said that he thinks Uruha is way better of with me than Ruki. Somehow."

"Ah," Reita simply said, and he stayed for the few minutes ahead, now seemingly thinking seriously, "Well…" he finally spoke up, "To be honest, that kinda gives me the impression that Kanon wants you to hook up with Uruha. No offense or anything, though. From the way you say that he says it, he was kinda hoping Ruki to be the person who can bring Uruha back as normal, but as you can see," Reita motioned with hands, "the chibi ain't here. He's off to Kai's, dealing with his own problems, not wanting to engage in Uruha's. Sure, he's got lots on his mind now, but maybe Kanon might not know even though he's supposed to cause he's a ghost…" Reita trailed off, "But anyways. Let's just assume he doesn't know and has only been stalking Uruha and sees that you're the person that has been around him for the past few weeks, and he clearly sees that you're the only person Kouyou can actually open up to, the one he feels safe to, right?"

"Well yeah," Aoi admitted half-heartedly, "but he also feels secure towards you, right?" he offered, "I mean, feeling safe, secure, fluff stuff like that?" but Reita merely chuckled at that statement, almost seemingly wanting to laugh.

"Well, if there's something that Kanon knows most in the world is that me and Uruha will never ever get together. It's like… dating your own brother. Sure, I know him quite well, too well for my own good in fact, but that's just the main reason. Besides there's something else between us…" Reita trailed off, seemingly nostalgic, before snapping out of it with a sheepish smile, "And anyways. With what I mean feeling secure is… You're a big brother type of guy. Almost fatherly caring in fact. A fun, brotherly type of dad. And that's the difference between you and Ruki that Uruha can see. With you, he has someone to protect him, he doesn't have to pretend to be strong, he can be as childish as he wants and you'd still be okay with that. But with Ruki, Uruha's the protector, he has to be strong for the chibi shortcake, and he has to keep his image. I know that Ruki would surely not mind if Uruha'd act childish now and then, but you know how Kouyou's pride can get, ne?"

"Well I guess…" Aoi answered curtly, trying to digest Reita's explanation, "I think I kinda get it…"

"Good," Reita stated, "So now the only thing left to talk about this Kanon-appearance thingy is his message. Did he tell you to take care of Uruha 24/7, only until he gets better, or only when he needs you most?" the bassist interrogated, and Aoi fell silent, trying to remember.

"Um… I don't know. His only message was that I should tell Uruha that Kanon loved him lots and has already forgive him, and that I should take care of him. That's all."

"Okay…" Reita mused for a minute or two, "Okay, seeing as you already have Kai-sama we should take it that you should be there for Kou only when he really needs you… And we should just eliminate the feelings factor," Reita added in as an afterthought when he saw the questioning look on Aoi's face, "Cause you can take it from me that Uruha does kinda… Well, you know, he kinda likes you," Reita fidgeted a bit, "And I guess that you care for him too, but it might get too, uh, complicated if we involve feelings in this theory, so let's just ignore that…" the bassist shrugged, continuing, "And I guess you should pass the message on later when Uruha's more stable… Or when you feel it's right."

"Ah. I see…" Aoi mumbled, and he kept his silence, thinking. Okay. So. Ignore the feelings factor. Take care of Uruha when's he more stable… But what may indicate his stability? He had never known Uruha that well… Is Reita's help required once more? Ah, this is all just a tad bit confusing… Or did Aoi just not want to think?

"Ne, Reita-chaaan~ Tasukete kudasaaai~" the two could hear Uruha faintly call for his brother-like best-friend childishly, and the rhythm guitarist's voice actually shook the melodist out of his thoughts. He turned to Reita who merely shrugged and smiled and got up, walking off towards the bathroom.

"Ima iku yo!" the bassist replied, "Coming!" disappearing off into the hall, leaving Aoi on his own. The raven didn't mind, though, and used his solitude to think. Being the thinker he was, he quickly got lost in his own train of contemplations. What Reita told him is actually true, and Aoi had to admit that he did have feelings for his rhythm guitarist, if only a little. It isn't as if he's ungrateful for having Kai, no, the drummer could be considered as the best uke ever, but it's just that this raven melodist has already had this soft spot for Uruha since a long time ago… And he was sure that Reita and Miyavi had noticed it from the beginning… But Aoi had simply never recognized nor identified this feeling as love, or any of the sort.

"Ao-kun, genki?" a sweet voice suddenly came from beside his ear as a pair of slightly muscled, slim, porcelain white arms circled itself around his neck and shoulders from behind. The lavender scent coming from the person behind him was unmistakable - especially with the long honey-brunette hair brushing his cheek and neck.

"I'm just fine, Uruha," Aoi answered with a smile, patting Uruha's one of encircled arms, "How's your new hair?" he asked, trying to make a conversation so that both his kouhais won't ask him what he was thinking about just now. He turned around to face his kouhai so that they could talk better - and also to tell the brunette to let go, but he regretted this move the minute he did it. The raven's eyes widened as he noticed the less-than-an-inch-gap between their faces, making it able for him to smell Uruha's mint breath, feeling the brush of both Uruha's soft damp hair and smooth cheek on his own. Aoi was silenced in an instant, forgetting what he was about to say. The melodist was sure that his kouhai noticed the slight tense in his body, but Uruha didn't react to it. Instead, he answered with a chirpy tone.

"It's great! I just washed it! Does it smell good?" the younger one asked, leaning in slightly closer, making Aoi more tense than he already was; he could feel Uruha's lips on his cheekbone damn it! If only Aoi could suddenly jump up, scream out loud and say, 'HOLY TAP-DANCING JESUS! GET OFF ME!' without hurting the brunette's feelings, he swore he would. The trouble was he couldn't. And the worse part of it all was that he actually enjoyed it; he didn't mind one single bit while he's supposed to be. Hell, his band mate had a killer body and looks prettier than any girl in the world; which guy would mind?

I have got to get out of here soon, Aoi promised, more scared of what he can do to Uruha than what Uruha can do to him. Ever since Uruha started to get really better, living at the Kanagawa household really puts his nerves to the real devotion test. It had only been four days since he got here and things have already evolved so fast! He wanted to stay faithful to Kai, but hey, every guy's got his temptations and limitations, right? Only angels do, and God knows that Aoi's no angel, though many people compliment him of being one… Being too nice to people does have its disadvantages sometimes…

NOW being the perfect example! he grumbled. Just when he was mouthing around gibberish like a fish, not knowing what exactly he should say without threatening to pull the younger down onto the sofa, a cellphone rang and vibrated by the coffee table and footsteps could be heard in seconds. A surprised voice followed soon after too.

"What the…?" Reita asked, standing perplexed over by the hall, before closing his eyes, shaking his head and walking off to get his keitai. He saw that it was a mere text message, but still placed the electronic on his ear and said, "Yo?" before walking out to the patio, faking the call, but with his mind speeding like a race car about what he had just saw. His two guitarists being all fluffy on the couch… God help me, he sighed. It wasn't as if he didn't expect it to come; he just didn't expect it so soon!

Turning around slightly to peek over his shoulders, he could now see Aoi back on his feet smiling rather nervously before ruffling Uruha's hair tenderly and walking away. Tearing his gaze off and focusing back to the scenery ahead of him, Reita sighed. He honestly felt sorry for Aoi, having to doubt and fight with his own feelings and even his own thoughts, just because of the three main objects in his life; Uruha, Kai, and the GazettE. Reita would really want to replace his senpai and take the job - he knew Uruha better than his own mother, afterall - but he also knew that the results would never be the same. He didn't 'love' Uruha the way this whole healing process required, though he'd do anything, sacrifice everything he had to bring his best friend, brother - no, his soulmate - back to normal.

As he stole another glance back at the living room, taking in the angelic beauty's features as said brunette was probably watching TV, he knew that the person in there wasn't Uruha, it was Kouyou, Shima-kun, the little Uruha-chan he knew when he started the GazettE; it was the Uruha that he had met in Elementary School, ever so childish, clingy, pouty, and flirty, seemingly as if Uruha had turned childish again. But Reita, of all people, could see the façade in all this; it was obvious - to him, at least - that Uruha is faking this cheerfulness in the hopes of finding real happiness… It was pathetic, ironic, and sad… And it hurt to see all of this. It hurt to see his band falling apart, too.

Finally deciding that he should just get back in, Reita checked the message and saw that it was from Miyavi that requested for a meet-up a few hours from now. He replied saying that he would come. Taking a deep breath, Reita closed his keitai and stuffed it back in the back pocket of his jeans, turning around and walking back towards the door's sliding glass doors, head still in the clouds, sliding it open and stepping a foot in to only witness the exact moment where Uruha leaned in towards his senpai and crushed his lips together gently with Aoi's, who was too stunned to even do anything. But on the other side, the melodist actually seemed to be enjoying it, kissing back as soon as he got to his senses.

Since when did Aoi get back to the livingroom? Reita mused for a minute before cursing himself and focusing his mind back to the main point :

Uruha.

Aoi.

In the livingroom.

Kissing.

. . . . . . . . . . ?

O.O ?

WHAT THE HELL?

Perplexed, Reita fully stepped inside the livingroom and slid the doors hard, making its railings protest noisily. The bassist was obviously pissed and confused, not only because one of them already has someone, but because he could actually foresee this coming and knew he could somehow prevent it but didn't have the chance. His two guitarists instantly looked up at the loud noise, surprised, and Aoi immediately moved away from Uruha, realising what he had just done, face covered in layers of pink. Uruha, on the other hand, seemed to be perfectly at ease, not feeling guilty one single bit, cocking his head innocently to the side, asking,

"Doushite no Reita-chan?"

---

Tiring months filled full with tours finally passed and all five members of the GazettE were exhausted. They spent Christmas and New Year only with each other, not having time to actually have any time with their family. The only thing they could do was just invite them to one of their concerts, but that was it. And as expected, each member let out all of their stress, exhaustion and frustration on stage, turning said bad emotions into some positive energy. Especially Aoi. He kept making fun of Ruki every time he had the chance and they seemed so alive on stage. But when they went down backstage, the atmosphere changed completely. The bad aura they've left behind rejoined their respected owners and everything felt awkward now. Everyone felt awkward towards each other, but they tried ignoring everything and it was very visible in the way they handled things.

Ruki had been keeping everything to himself, focusing on his sketchbooks and iPod. Uruha had been clinging to Reita and the two did practically everything together, while Aoi and Kai had been at each other's faces every time they had the chance. For an outsider, that might be something normal. But for someone that really knew them, something was definitely amiss. Uruha doesn't cling to Reita. Yes they were soul mates but it was exactly that factor that kept them from each other; you could say that they've gotten enough of each other and that was why Uruha was almost always there with Ruki wherever the youngest one was. Reita was the one usually keeping things to himself and playing around with his laptop. And as for the happy couple, they never showed off any kind of romance in front of their band mates; they kept it discreet and clean, except for maybe an innocent peck here and there, but that was rare too.

Needless to say, GazettE had serious problems.

And Reita of all people, would know the main reason behind all of this. Aoi was obviously feeling guilty and that was why he stuck to Kai like a lovesick puppy, trying to make things up to Kai and showing that he really loves the drummer - though Reita personally thinks that Aoi was trying to convince himself more than he tried to convince anyone else. Ruki was obviously still sulky and Reita knew that the chibi blonde was smarter than just giving into his emotions and used his negative energy for something more useful, hence his iPod and sketchbooks. As for Uruha…

The blonde bassist shivered every time he remembered the kiss he saw between Uruha and Aoi, swearing to himself that he will never pass it onto anyone else. He had dragged his childhood friend off to his room after that event and tried to talk some sense into him; but Uruha was acting nonchalant as usual and didn't say anything; no remorse, no guilt, no nothing. It wasn't when Reita mentioned Kai that Uruha started to realize what he did was kind of wrong. As quiet, ignorant and carefree as Uruha might look like, the guitarist actually cared a lot for Ruki and Kai, though he treated Kai gentler because he always saw the Leader-sama as something easy to break, easier than Ruki who had been through a lot more than the four of them, and Reita knew that. He knew that his feminine Gemini twin hated to see Kai upset and so the bassist used those chaste feelings against its owner. Uruha had merely stayed quiet after that, and things progressed to how they were now. Uruha didn't acknowledge Aoi a single bit on the tours; he even refused to share a hotel room with the older one.

But when they had reached Tokyo and parted off to go to their own homes, everything seemed like normal as if nothing had happened; Ruki innocently dogged his Leader-sama home while Reita followed off the two guitarists back to the Kanagawa household, with the excuse that Miyavi was off anyways and that he wanted to be close to his best friend right now. But the real reason behind it was actually something a bit more than that; he wanted to make sure that his band won't be torn apart just because of his egoistic childhood friend and his easy-to-seduce senpai. He knew that Uruha won't give up on something once he had set his eyes on it and he will try to prevent anything that may come up.

But it was proven that Uruha was stubborn and will do practically anything to get what he wanted. In only a few weeks after they got home and settled in, the rhythm guitarist had already started to cling onto the older melodist once again - though maybe not as active as before Reita had approached him - but now, all the blonde bassist could do was shake his head at the act and prevent unwanted things from happening. But of course, the bassist couldn't always keep his eyes on the guitarist, now, could he?

"Ao-kun, Ruki said that the shoot for Before I Decay is today. What time will we go?" Uruha asked as he entered the livingroom, approaching his senpai who was sitting on the sofa and casually circled his arms around Aoi from behind. Aoi of course was surprised and he honestly had goose bumps on his skin as soon as his kouhai's skin made contact with his, but he couldn't exactly shrug him off now, could he?

"Hm, I don't recall him telling me anything?" Aoi gently answered, faintly smiling as he touched Uruha's arm and took a hold of it, guiding the younger one around the sofa to sit beside him, "Have you asked Reita?"

"He's still in the bathroom… With my hairdryer," Uruha pouted, "I don't get why he simply can't use the towel to dry off his body!" the honey-brunette complained, and Aoi laughed.

"Well, he did say that the clothes slip on more easily and that it just feels great?"

"That's not an excuse to dry off your body with a hairdryer," Uruha stated bluntly, "Anyways. Hasn't Kai-kun like, called you or anything?"

"Kai?" frowned the raven as his kouhai mentioned Aoi's lovers name, "No, no he hasn't? Why?" he asked back, feeling rather suspicious.

"Oh. Nothing," Uruha suddenly smiled mischievously, and he casually sprawled himself across the sofa, resting his head onto Aoi's lap, flashing his gorgeous smile up at the older one. He slowly raised his hand, reaching upwards and gently cupped Aoi's face, stroking the smooth cheek gently with his thumb, and all Aoi can do is smile and put his smaller hand upon Uruha's much bigger ones. The young guitarist was actually rather mesmerized by those calm pair of eyes that his raven melodist possessed, and he couldn't help but once again realize that he looked so much alike with that particular someone he had cared so much, too much about… Did Aoi realize it?

To be honest, no, not one bit. He wasn't even thinking about it. The melodist had taken Uruha's hand in his because he had always wondered how the size of their hands could differ like that. They were technically both men, both seme, both guitarists, both athletes.. They should have equal hand sizes, correct? But Aoi's thoughts were interrupted when footsteps suddenly broke the atmosphere and entered the vicinity.

"Ne, guys," Reita called as he approached the two of them, "I'm gonna go get - What the hell are you two doing?" he suddenly commented upon seeing their very fluffy stance, raising a curious eyebrow. Aoi immediately removed Uruha's hand from his face, smiling sheepishly and apologetically at Reita who gave him a sceptic look as if saying, 'I knew you enjoyed that' and took a deep breath before continuing his cut off sentence.

"No comment," he sighed, raising both his hands as if to say that he's not involved in this, "Just wanna say that Miyavi'll be back tomorrow so I gotta be home before he gets home…"

"And what does that have to do with me?" Uruha asked as if he doesn't really care, sitting up and leaning over the sofa's leaning to face his friend, "Just kidding Rei-kun, kidding," he chuckled sweetly when he saw the sour face on the bassist's face, "I know how much you guys love each other!"

Reita merely gave a sinister smile at the remark, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Uru-chan," he shot back before turning to Aoi, "Look, Aoi-kun, I'm gonna go get Kai and Ruki from the BID radio-interview, plus you did say there were things we wanted to talk about, right? We gotta gather to clear stuff up…"

"So we're moving last Saturday's plans to today?" Aoi concluded, and Reita nodded. Though Uruha had really gotten better and was almost back to his normal self again, the honey-brunette seemed to refuse Aoi's departure and always tried to make sure that the guitarist stayed. Reita saw the selfish traits that suddenly started to grow in his friend, though, and had talked things over with Aoi and Kai.

"Yeah. Besides, you did say that you wanted to get back home as soon as possible, right, Aoi-kun?" Reita mentioned, and Aoi nodded with an expecting smile, even though he could feel Uruha's sudden stare from beside him. He felt rather uneasy but decided to ignore it. He knew what those eyes described, and he also knew that he'd be sad if he confirmed what it showed… It was best not to know.

"Yeah… We'll also get Ruki back here, ne?"

"Exactly!" Reita grinned, and he finally walked off towards the front door, slipping on his shoes, "I'm going now, so you two better behave, got it?" he added as a joke - though Uruha felt as if it were a warning directed personally to him - and the bassist opened the door, walked through and left. A few seconds passed in eerie silence as the two stared at the door blankly, not really knowing what to do next before Aoi finally broke the silence by standing up on his feet and walking off towards the halls that contained their bedrooms and bathroom. Uruha looked up at the sudden movement and sat up on his knees immediately.

"Ao-kun, where're you going?" the younger guitarist called out, and his senpai flashed a smile.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," he shrugged and Uruha gave him a look.

"What, again? I can still smell your fresh scent and you wanna shower again?"

"I like being clean," Aoi shrugged nonchalantly, and with a last glance at his kouhai, he walked off towards the bathroom, leaving Uruha alone in the livingroom. The honey-brunette pondered about what to do in the meantime since he knew that Aoi would take up a half an hour or so in the bathroom and he decided that he'd better work on the single after Before I Decay, and so he got onto his feet and walked off to his room, busying himself in front of the computer. After an hour or two, Uruha suddenly heard the phone ringing in the livingroom and he got out to take the call.

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Ne, Kou-chan?" the heavy voice on the other side confirmed, and Uruha hummed, recognizing the voice to be Reita's.

"Mm-hmm, sou desu. Omae wa doko?" he asked, "Where're you?"

"Well… I'm here at uhh…" Reita trailed off, and Uruha could hear him asking Kai in the background where they were now before getting back on the line, "At some shopping district, Kai doesn't really know where we are now either," he answered sheepishly, "We're going to some of the tourist spots after this, too," and Uruha cocked his head to the side at the weird explanation.

"What the hell are you two doing at a shopping district, and why are you going to the tourist spots? We're Japanese for Christ's sake, we know every single corner of those spots like back of our hands!" he stated, "I thought we were having a gathering right over here, not you three venturing around Tokyo!" To be honest though, somewhere in the back of his mind, he had to admit that he was kind of relieved. If the gathering was cancelled then Aoi didn't have to go back so soon, did he?

"Actually, to tell you the truth…" Reita hesitated, "Ruki's gone," he stated rather weakly, and Uruha felt as if he had skipped a beat. Gone?

"Wait. Gone as in missing?" the younger one tried to confirm and Reita hummed at the other side, sounding rather edgy, and Uruha knew that the bassist maybe felt the same as he know was feeling. Anxious, worried. . . Well, maybe not as worried as Uruha is because Reita is rather thick-headed like that, but… Uruha had to admit that he was worried. He had always cared for the vocalist, though he doesn't really show nor realize it, but it was at times like these that he wanted Ruki to be safe and near him.

"Yeah, well, not really missing," Reita tried to compromise, "Ru had already told Kai that he'd be off with a friend, and Kai was in his room when the doorbell rang. He was changing his clothes so Ru offered to open up the door, but Ru suddenly called out to Kai that his friend was there and that he was going… Before Kai could even say anything to Ru's 'friend'…" Reita trailed off and Uruha continued the sentence for him.

"He was already gone?"

"Yup. The problem is, he's been gone since this morning and we couldn't find him at all," Reita sighed at the other end, "Kai tried calling him but he won't pick up. I've just contacted Toshiya though, and he said that Hizaki might have a hunch."

"Toshiya?" Uruha repeated, "Well where's Ruki now then? Hasn't Hizaki told you yet?"

"Well, he said that Ru's probably over at either Mana'a shop or Teru's place cause there is where he keeps disappearing to ever since he stayed over at Kai's…" the blonde trailed off, "Kai even said that living with Ruki is like having a teenage child; he is there and gives attention and all but he's always gone."

"Ruki is a teen, compared to us," Uruha suggested, "So what're you waiting for now?" and Reita chuckled.

"Yeah, well, waiting for Hizaki and Toshiya to arrive, of course," he explained, "They'll show us the way to Teru's place, and if he isn't there then we're all going to Mana's."

"But I don't think that he'd really be at Mana-senpai's shop… The two of them don't really… Click, do they? I mean…"

"Yeah I know, I know, one's a quiet elegant aristocrat while the other is a hyper rocker. I get what you mean," Reita added, his voice amused, "Well anyways, that's all I have to tell you. This might take a while, so you two better get yourselves busy or something," he suggested, before suddenly adding in as an afterthought, "But not with each other, you hear me? Behave, Kouyou!"

And Uruha rolled his eyes at the statement, "I am not your dog, Akira," placing his hands on his hips. He couldn't even count the numerous times that Reita had repeated those words.

"I know, Kou, I know. But I…" and Reita paused before turning down the volume of his voice, "You know whom he belongs to. Don't make Kai cry, alright?" the bassist explained gently, "I'm counting on you for this one. Please. Don't tear us apart and kill the band."

Uruha sighed, "Alright, alright," he replied, knowing what Reita said was true. His friend soon hung up after this, saying that even though Kai had failed to contact Ruki, Toshiya and Hizaki have already arrived and that they were now going. After saying curt goodbyes, Uruha also hung up, and turned just in time to catch Aoi approaching him from the hall. The guitarist had probably been in his room all this time… Or eavesdropping from the hall.

"Who called?" Aoi asked, and Uruha shrugged.

"Reita. He said that Ruki's missing but they know where they might find him," he sighed, "It might take a while though," he informed the older one, and Aoi raised an eyebrow. Ruki's missing? he thought, but he couldn't exactly say that he was surprised. Ruki finally got all the freedom he wanted, away from Uruha wasn't he?

"Ah. I see…" the older one murmured, nothing else to say really coming to mind. What was he supposed to say, anyway? 'Maybe Ruki's loving his new freedom?' If he said that, Uruha might get upset or something, cause Aoi still can see the younger one's possessiveness over the vocalist, even just a bit…

Still remembering the fact that his vocalist had feelings for the rhythm guitarist, and that said latter had shown almost-positive signs about liking the chibi blonde back in the past before the whole Kanon-thing came up, made Aoi ponder. Maybe he could use Uruha's tucked-away feelings for Ruki to get himself out of his uneasy position; Aoi couldn't choose nor make up his mind! He knew he had Kai waiting at home, but he cared so much for the honey-brunette he didn't have the heart to not oblige to anything that the young one wanted. He was sick, afterall. But as the weeks passed, Uruha got spoiled and if Reita hadn't been there to save his ass, Aoi was sure he'd be having commitment problems by now; that being the reason for his rather slutty and dominating act towards Kai on the tours. It wasn't as if he wasn't ashamed; it truly was rather embarrassing. But if not then, when? As soon as the tours ended he had to get back to Uruha, hadn't he? He had to -

"Oh well," Uruha spoke up, breaking his train of thoughts, "I'll just leave it up to Reita to look for him then," Uruha faintly smiled, stuffing his hands inside his backpockets, "Wanna play Winning Eleven?" the honey-brunette suddenly suggested, and Aoi smiled, knowing that Uruha was diverting from the main Ruki topic because he knew that Aoi might ask stuff.

"Nah, I don't like those games…" Aoi declined, wanting to keep on talking and know more about Uruha's feelings. He had to know more; it was the easiest way out for him.

"Well then what do you like?" Uruha insisted, "Oh come on, you must've played games once in a while?" and Aoi knew he couldn't get away. Uruha's a very stubborn man and he'd try and talk Aoi into it until said latter obliged. Sighing and deciding to just go along with the game his kouhai was playing, the raven thought over the games Kai used to slave himself over on the computer.

"Um.. NfS?" he offered, not really knowing many PlayStation games. Uruha grinned widely at the offer and immediately grabbed Aoi's arm, dragging him off to Reita's room, the room that contained said gaming electronic.

Uruha seemed giddily excited when starting up the game and was so very happy starting it all, choosing the car, track and amount of laps. But when they started playing, though, Aoi noticed that there was something wrong. The honey-brunette kept hitting the pavement and road signs, not managing it quite well in taking turns either. The raven honestly thought that maybe Uruha wasn't really good at this game anyway, but he knew his bandmate too well to just accept that suggestion. First of all, he had often saw the honey-brunette race against Reita and the guitarist always won, and would never defeat his loss of the bassist did win by a chance of luck. Uruha is, in a way, selfish, and he will never accept loss, especially in things he likes and masters the most, these games being one of those things. So why does it seem that this honey-brunette was giving up intentionally?

When Aoi's black car finished all of its laps and reached the finish line with Uruha's silver one tailing right behind him, the raven smiled in victory before turning to face his junior to see what his reaction might be… But he merely seemed to be accepting his loss with a simple shrug. Now realizing that there really was something wrong with his kouhai, the older guitarist put down his controller and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it, contemplating whether he should ask or not… His junior was spoilt in a way, him being the youngest apart from his two older sisters, and Aoi had often laughed at the way Uruha refused to be beaten by Kai in a simple game of Tekken, Phantom of Inferno, GTA, or any other game for that matter. The young one had childishly demanded rematch over and over again until he won, but he won't let people play with him half-heartedly either. If his opponent lost on purpose, he'd also demand rematch. Uruha is a very confusing person.. But that's exactly the thing that intrigued Aoi the most.

"Ne, wanna go for another round?" Uruha offered with a smile that Aoi saw as tired, and the latter shook his head, wanting to see whether Uruha's reaction will be the same as usual. The honey-brunette usually demanded rematch until he won, not offer rematch after accepting that he lost. Uruha had too much pride, it could almost be said as selfish.

"No, I think I'll pass…" Aoi gently declined and Uruha cocked his head to the side, staring at him with his almost-empty eyes, as if contemplating about what to say… Aoi honestly hoped that Uruha would insist on a rematch like a child, because that would mean that the latter was doing just fine and that his act before was just a part of him growing up a bit more. It turns out that Aoi was wrong though.

"Oh alright then…" the honey-brunette smiled compliantly, "I don't really feel like playing anyways…" he added in, suddenly getting up on his feet and sitting down on Reita's bed, his two arms beside him and his gaze focused on the floor. He seemed in deep thought and it honestly worried Aoi quite a bit. He knew for sure that the honey-brunette's mind was focused on a certain chibi blonde vocalist, and this could actually be good progress. If Uruha was worried - and could admit that he cared lots for the vocalist, Aoi was practically free! Well yeah, Aoi realized how selfish this thought was, but he had a right to be happy, no? The melodist inwardly smiled to himself, seeing this as a chance to sweet-talk something out of the honey-brunette and shut off the television and PlayStation 2.

"Ne, Kou. . ." the raven melodist spoke up, getting on his feet and standing right in front of his fellow guitarist, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, knowing that with the right words, he could coax quite a few interesting things out of the Gemini. As he had expected, the angel-beauty looked up at him with slight unfocused eyes, showing confusion, as if at a loss on what to say. He recovered after a few seconds though, and replied with a smile.

"Umm.. yeah. I'm okay, I guess."

"Are you sure?" Aoi reconfirmed, crouching so that he was lower than Uruha's position, "I can see there's something wrong, y'know," he tried, but the younger one kept up with smiling and didn't give a real response. He seemed unfocused and Aoi gave up. Maybe he should just try being straightforward?

"…"

Uruha was even avoiding eye-contact with him, and that honestly wasn't common. Aoi decided to throw the dice and see what happens.

"Kouyou?"

". . . Hai?"

"It is Ruki?" Aoi shot, taking his chance, and that was when Uruha's beautiful mahogany eyes

shot down to meet his in surprise. Inwardly grinning to himself in victory, Aoi could easily see the admittance in those glass-clear eyes, and now he knew why Reita said he could effortlessly read the feminine Gemini by looking into his eyes. Aoi thought that it was pure bullshit at first or that it was something that had developed between the two because of their friendship, but now he realized that because Uruha was a very honest person, it was no wonder that his eyes showed nothing but pure emotion. It really was easy to read him.

"I - " Uruha began, but he bit his lip hesitance and looked away again, refusing to continue whatever he wanted to say. His eyes rested on everything but Aoi, now seeming uncomfortable for the very first time ever since Aoi has gotten back here with him from the tours and it actually looked cute to the older raven.

"Kou," he called, hand reaching up to touch Uruha's smooth cheek, gently turning his face so that he'd look at him, "Itte kudasai? Kikimasu yo," he offered, "Please tell me? I want to hear," and the latter merely looked back uncertainly, before sighing in defeat.

"I - I'm just worried," Uruha admitted as he closed his eyes, looking away and getting up on his feet, feeling Aoi do the same, "And I feel extremely guilty. I've been harsh to him, barely talked to him, stopping taking care of him, I can't even remember the last time we talked," the young one confessed, sighing audibly. He loosely wrapped his arms around his own lithe but slightly muscular frame, giving off an insecure impression. Aoi stayed quiet, giving Uruha the time he needed to let it all out.

"I've just started thinking that, well… I… I think you're right," he finally sighed, slumping his shoulders, "You're right about me being selfish. I can't make up my mind… I… I want him here cause I don't feel okay if he's not by my side, but if he's there then I don't know what to do, so I end up ignoring him," Uruha bit his lower lip, "On the other hand, I want Kanon close to me too…" and the honey-brunette trailed off, obvious to Aoi that he simply can't talk anymore. But to be honest, Aoi doesn't have a clue on what to do either. Though seeing his younger guitarist down made him uneasy as well. Uruha blurting out everything he felt and thinking was honestly weird too; Uruha wasn't one to just speak up. He was too feminine to do that

"Well," Aoi sighed, giving his kouhai a small smile, approaching him, "Cheer up. If you'd fix your attitude when this all is over, I'm sure he'd warm up to you again like before," Aoi reassured, ruffling Uruha's hair lovingly. He hoped that this would at least soothe his fellowe guitarist a bit and it honestly did… The honey-brunette merely sighed and smiled back, inwardly glad that he had a guardian like Aoi near him to lean onto… Kai is so lucky. Him ruffling Uruha felt kinda good, it felt safe, like he was a kid that was being loved… It kinda reminded him of when Kanon had this problem with Bou back in Highschool. Uruha had caught the raven almost crying by the canteen and he had then tried to ask what -

Shit,Uruha cursed to himself, Memories, hating the fact that he had just let up all of those happy memories resurface while he had tried so hard to forget it all… Forgetting was honestly the only thing that Uruha could do so he can manage himself and climb out of the emo-pit he had dug himself. He wasn't that ready to go through all of it again; it kind of hurt.

Aoi frowned when he saw the sudden change of expression on Uruha's face. He seemed less worried just a few seconds ago, but why did he seem kinda scared now? The young one's beautiful mahogany eyes were also unfocused and he seemed to be gazing straight through Aoi, not at him.

"Uruha," Aoi called, taking his hand back, "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to anticipate for whatever might happen next. He looks rather nostalgic right now… But in a bad way. Things have been going so well and now he's having memories? Oh gosh… Aoi sure hoped that it his hunch wasn't true, that Uruha wasn't gonna break down on him again… Cause that would mean another long period of baby-sitting. A period of fun but also tempting baby-sitting… But Aoi knew that his hunches were almost always right, and he hated that.

"Kouyou?" Aoi tried again, and this time Uruha's eyes snapped up at him, focusing a bit before wavering for a second. He seemed rather lost, and it wasn't only obvious by his eyes, but the fact that he wasn't replying was also a sign, "Are you okay?"

"Uhm… Yeah," Uruha answered, blinking a few times, before looking up at the raven, "Yeah just fine. Memories' all…" he answered, "I was just kinda thinking of Kanon… Y'know… Kinda miss him. I don't even know whether he actually still loved me before he left…" trailing off before shaking his head, "Well, it's nothing important anyway. Sorry for worrying you," forcing a smile to Aoi before turning on his heels and exiting the room.

It wasn't because he wanted to be alone or anything, it was just that Uruha has just realized how similar the two of them were… Sure he realized that they were physically alike before, but now they were just too similar in their characteristics too and it somehow made his heart ache a little. He honestly has a soft spot for his senpai, he couldn't deny that, and with the knowledge that his senpai is like is ex-boyfriend made it all the worse, ne? And just like what Reita said, Uruha has the potential to kill the band if he allowed his feelings to react - which he had done quite often lately… Reita talked him off of that - and he knew that Aoi, as always, was right. He needed to focus himself to Ruki and make things up to the chibi vocalist. Plus the fact that Aoi could easily make him talk without thinking twice made it all the more dangerous. Uruha liked to keep his thoughts to himself.

Meanwhile, Aoi saw this while situation as a perfect opportunity to pass on the message that Knaon had given him. It had actually been bugging him for quite a while, sitting there in his thoughts. He had wanted to let Uruha know from quite a long while ago, but everytime he opened his mouth his brain told him to wait. And whenever he asked Reita when the right time will be, the bassist also simply told him to wait. It was rather confusing for the raven since he never really acts on impulse. But now his guts was telling him that this was the time for it. So he made his move and ran out into the hall, following his kouhai out. The raven Aquarius managed to grab his wrist just in time before he passed the kitchen, heading for the patio, and halted the younger Gemini's steps in the livingroom. Surprised, the honey-brunette turned with slightly curious eyes inquiring what it was that Aoi wanted to do or say.

"Chotto, Kouyou," Aoi started, now kind of hesitating, "There's something I have to tell you…" he trailed off, and Uruha raised his eyebrows inquiringly. This was something new. Aoi had something to tell Uruha? The Gemini was curious, very curious indeed, especially with the face that Aoi was putting up now; he seemed very hesitant and Uruha was torn between curiosity and fear. He wanted to know what Aoi had to say, but the way his raven senpai was acting didn't bode well. They stood there in the hall for a few seconds, both lost in their own thoughts before Uruha's curiosity got the better of him.

". . . Yeah?" the honey-brunette spoke, "What is it, Ao-kun?" now too curious to even consider the after-effects of the knowledge he was about to receive.

"Kanon, he -" Aoi trailed, off, rather unsure of how to put it in words, "I met him. A few months ago," Aoi blurted out, and Uruha shook his arm loose by the information and moved to fully face Aoi, seeming confused.

"Of course you did," Uruha replied, "You met him together with me, in the hospital," the honey-brunette stated and his senpai shook his head in slight frustration. Passing on this simple love message is going to be hard.

"No, no, I meant that I met him a few months ago, after I moved in here, in your room," Aoi explained, "Remember the time when you woke up in the middle of the night because I was thrashing here and there, and I asked you whether there was anyone else in the room? He came to me in my dreams then," fidgeting and staring at his toes, dreading to see the look on Uruha's face. He was expecting some kind of protest or argument from the younger one, but said latter stayed awfully quiet.

"Look," Aoi continued, not really comfortable with the silence, still staring at his toes, "I know it doesn't really make sense but I -" but his sentence got cut off by a silent voice that made him snap his eyes up immediately taking in Uruha's blank though almost tortured eyes. He was fighting with something within him, it seems… Was this not the right time after all?

"What did he say?" Uruha spoke up, his voice barely a whisper, his lips barely mouthing the words, but it was so quiet that you could easily hear a needle hit the carpeted floor… Aoi was starting to regret this. But he knew he had to go on anyway, there was no turning back now… Or Uruha will nag him about it for the next few days, or the worst case; he could get depressed from the curiosity. Aoi shuddered inwardly.

"He. . . He loves you and he wants you to carry on with your life," Aoi blurted out, looking straight into his younger guitarist's eyes, "He wants you to forget him and start over with -" and Aoi stopped himself before he said the word 'me'. He sighed inwardly as he knew he had just stopped himself in time; he had to change Kanon's words a bit in this one.

"With. . . ?" Uruha indirectly inquired, his tone still rather flat, seemingly knowing that his senpai was hiding something, and Aoi bit his lip before continuing.

"With someone else. . And I suggest Ruki for that job, heh-heh," Aoi added in, trying to joke, scratching his head sheepishly; this was so uncomfortable… "He loves you, Kouyou, and he wants you to move on. It saddens him to see you like this," the raven continued, and after a few seconds of silence, Uruha suddenly stepped closer with a determined look in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" the honey-brunette gently demanded, the gaze in his eyes stealthing up, and Aoi shrugged.

"Kanon told me that I should tell you when the time was right… And I felt that now's right. Especially when you said that you wondered whether he still loved you…" Aoi trailed off, "And now I say he does. He loves you," and the raven Aquarius ended it there, wanting to see how his kouhai might react… And it was exactly as Aoi predicted it.

Uruha stayed quiet.

Aoi left their conversation hanging in the air, no matter how uncomfortable he actually felt with it, but he didn't want to spoil the atmosphere and break Uruha's chain of thoughts. But as seconds turned into long minutes, the raven finally got tired of it too. Flashing his usual attractive and kind smile, Aoi stepped forward also, all the more closing the gap between then and patted Uruha's shoulder.

"Naa, shinpai shinaide yo, Kouyou," he adviced, "Don't worry about it," and Uruha finally sighed, forcing himself to form his sexy lips into a weak, sad smile. He knew that he had to forget it all, it was the only choice now wasn't it? If Kanon wanted him to go on, then so be it. If that would make his younger lover happy then he will do it. If Kanon had actually came to Aoi's dream just to say that he loved Uruha and wanted him to go on that must mean that his Shin-chan is seriously not resting in peace at the other side. And Uruha didn't want that for him.

"Nah, I won't," Uruha replied, "Everything comes and goes; you can't force your will on life nor others. I'll let go… eventually, though it's hard," the porcelain-white guitarist sighed, "If it makes him happy then I'll do it," looking into Aoi's comforting midnight-black eyes, who smiled soothingly in return. Uruha actually liked that of Aoi; soothingly talkative but actually quiet at the same time.

"Hm," he grinned teasingly, "You'll never change, will you? Still naïve since the very first day I met you," and he patted the younger one's smooth chubby cheek lovingly and mischievously, just like a father towards his teenage daughter. But again, whatever Aoi might do or say would always remind Uruha back towards Kanon, and it happened again for the second time that hour. But this time, the feminine Gemini was simply too infatuated and impressed by the situation that he didn't - couldn't - turn away.

Uruha smiled, reaching out, gently cupping Aoi's oval face and tenderly stroking the older one's cheek with his slightly calloused thumb, his eyes reflecting a gaze of regretful wistfulness, and the raven was oddly captivated by it.

"You two are so identical it's not even funny," he chuckled bitterly, "Your features, your eyes, the way you talk, everything…" he trailed off, "Though you are older," he added in as an afterthought and the two chuckled in the silence; one chuckling out of discomfort and the other from uncertainty. But they were, unmistakably, captivated by each other's eyes. Uruha because Aoi's orbs were assuring, gentle, grounded and mature, and Aoi because Uruha's mahogany lenses simply shone off a mystical aura that clearly hid something, mixed with a bit of sadness. They were entranced.

It didn't stop Uruha from talking though, "Your hair is black, spiky, hard to style, just like his," he mumbled, raising his hand and allowing his fingers to tangle itself in the raven locks, "Your eyes are like his," continuing, nimble fingers now outlining the corners of his cat-like eyes, "Your face, appearance, all like his…" he sighed into the air, his voice barely a whisper, holding Aoi's jaw placidly, his thumb tracing his senpai's lips gently, "And your lips are too…"

And at this, Aoi was completely tongue-tied. Uruha was so mesmerizing, and he was honestly hypnotized by the situation…

Until Uruha suddenly leaned in and kissed him.

Aoi's midnight-black eyes widened and his lips parted slightly because of the shock, but that was exactly what Uruha seemed to be waiting for as the rhythm guitarist moved in closer and tangled his long fingers in the melodist's raven locks behind his head to deepen their kiss. Needless to say, Aoi was shocked shitless and the thought to just shove Uruha off of him and run out of the place flashed through his mind; but then something in the kiss stopped him. He felt that the lips moving against his own were pouring in many emotions at once; emotions he oddly felt familiar with. As the gentle Aquarius hesitantly started kissing back, he knew why he couldn't break away. The kiss reminded him of Kai so much; the kiss was just so sweet, chaste, innocent and loving he couldn't help but be hypnotized and kiss back. The two were kissing each other, but it seemed that the person in their mind wasn't the person they were locking mouths with. Now feeling suddenly confident with all of this, Aoi started to get into the act as well, moving his arms to circle around Uruha's waist and shoulders, deepening their kiss, oddly enjoying what was happening even though he could hear a small voice at the back of his head that was screaming at him to break away.

I can't... I have to, I should, but I can't...

Meanwhile outside, the other three members of the GazettE have reached the front of the Kanagawa household and were still discussing about everything that had happened these past few days. Kai, who had inquired what this whole gathering was about, was still trying to cope with the fact that Aoi does apparently have a soft spot for Uruha while Ruki is just pondering about whether the dream he had about Uruha leaving him might be true afterall. All the signs lead to it, though he knew there were a few flaws here and there... Hmm...

Reita, on the other hand, felt guilty. He had known, seen and heard too much of what had happened between his two guitarists and he knew that everyone in the band has a right to know every single little thing... But Reita left things out. He didn't tell Kai and Ruki about the kiss. He didn't tell them about Aoi's ponderings and doubts, and he certainly didn't tell them that Kanon had specifically told Aoi to take care of Uruha. He only told the two that Kanon came to Aoi's dream, but that was it. Reita honestly felt that he had kind of betrayed Ruki and Kai's trust in a way, but he didn't have another choice. Some secrets were just meant to be secrets.

"Ah, Reita-kun," Kai spoke up rather gently as the three of them reached the front door, "So you're saying that Aoi can go home soon but will still need to come and visit often?" the drummer repeated, and Reita nodded.

"Kinda like that, yeah," he sighed, rummaging around in his pockets for the keys. Beside him, Ruki merely stood with a dreamy look. He seemed to be quite deep in thought, lost in his own world, and Kai snapped his fingers infront of Ruki's daydreaming chibi face. The vocalist jumped a bit and pouted as Kai and Reita chuckled, the bassist finally managing to find his keys and pushing it inside the lock. But what met his eyes the next minute was something he did know would happen eventually, but not something he had expected at that time. This was the second time he had caught his two guitarists kissing, but this was the first time he's seen Aoi participating in it willingly. The three of them were stupefied.

Shocked, Kai gasped audibly at the sight and it attracted both of the lip-locking guitarist's attention. Breaking away from each other immediately, both Uruha and Aoi turned at their band mates and were rendered speechless in an instant. The three had definitely seen the loving kiss between the two of them and they were all speechless and stunned. When he had come to his senses, Reita groaned, knowing what was to happen next as Kai suddenly let out a choked barely-there sob and ran off. Then everything that happened next seemed nothing but a blur to Uruha. Aoi had suddenly disappeared from beside him, chasing after his lover out of the door, as Reita stood there and fixed him a burning gaze that stared right into his soul. And Uruha knew what he had done was wrong. Oh so very wrong. But he couldn't help it. And he somehow didn't very guilty… The kiss was actually something he had enjoyed though he wasn't supposed to…

Oh shit.

"Teme…" Ruki mumbled beneath his breath, anger being the only emotion visible on his features, his mumble breaking Uruha's thoughts. It was frightening, to Reita at least, who was standing right beside the vocalist and who felt the killing aura vibrating off of him firsthand. But the next thing Reita knew, Ruki had already stepped forward towards his guitarist, not even bothering to take off his shoes, and in a split second, had already managed to punch said older honey-brunette to the ground before Reita had a chance to stop him.

"Bakayaro," Ruki spat venomously at his guardian angel before turning around on his heels and making his way to his room in furious steps. Uruha didn't move an inch though, merely sitting there on the ground, cradling his throbbing jaw while trying to move to get the numb feeling out. He knew he deserved this, and he knew he was in deep shit. He had made Kai cry and he had managed drive Ruki so mad that the vocalist had punched him… Oh dear. He was in serious deep shit.

"Kouyou," Reita called as he walked over and crouched beside him, trying to help him up, "You're fucked up, you know that?" the bassist stated bluntly, and Uruha nodded his answer as he got up on his feet, holding onto Reita's strong arms for support. The bassist wrapped his arm around Uruha's waist to help him up.

"Yeah. Yeah I know," the guitarist sighed, closing his eyes, moving to weakly hug Reita as the blonde merely allowed him to do what he wanted, hugging him back slightly. Reita couldn't possibly imagine how it must've felt, being hated by the people you cared about, being responsible if anything might happen to the band... Reita sighed and hugged his younger friend closer, tighter. He knew that the next few days were gonna be hard.

Outside, Aoi had managed to grab Kai's lower arm just in time, pulling back the resisting drummer.

"Matte, Kai!" he called, sounding desperate, frantic. He didn't know what to do exactly, or what to say to Kai later on, but he had now to make sure that Kai wouldn't go anywhere so he could assure the drummer's safety, "Kai, wait, please, I can explain this," but as Kai turned around, facing him with his broken eyes, Aoi knew that a part of him was dying inside. Could he mend the hurt, make up for everything?

"What? What is it now?" Kai asked, sound rather hopeless, "I saw how loving that was, Aoi, what else do you want to explain?" he shot at his lover, and Aoi bit his lower lip at the statement as Kai continued, "Even if he were the one talking you into it then why oblige?" Kai asked, sounding extremely hurt, mumbling to himself, "I can't believe I'm still talking to you," and he turned around again, claiming his arm back roughly. He felt hurt, betrayed, disappointed... He didn't think he could possibly forgive anyone in this matter, not even himself... He started all of this...

"Kai!" Aoi called again, panicking. His lover was walking away, walking away from him; he couldn't let this happen!

"What?" Kai snapped as he turned around.

"Look, you're right, I shouldn't have done that, I was wrong," Aoi admitted as Kai tsked, "But I've already told you before all of this happened; something bad is going to happen if you put me here and -"

"If you knew something bad were to happen then why didn't you try to stop it?" Kai demanded childishly, "Why didn't you try to get away, tell him off, ANYTHING!" he finally yelled in frustration, and Aoi frowned at the anger Kai was going through. Sure, Aoi had a big deal in this, but Kai couldn't possibly blame it all on him! Aoi had refused, tried to tell him that things were gonna happen, he had told Kai to just drop it and get either Ruki or Reita to do it but just because Miyavi had suggested Aoi to do it, Kai had forced him into it... And now the drummer was blaming everything on him?

"Tell him off?" Aoi repreated incredulously, "You expect me to tell off a sensitive and emotional Uruha? You were the one who told me to comfort him and make him better as soon as possible! If I told him off and he'd go all emo again, what would you do then? Blame me for it as well?" Aoi snapped, now feeling honestly as if Kai didn't fully trust him in this case... As if Kai didn't trust him at all. And Aoi didn't like this. He may be a nice, gentle and patient person, but when it comes to pride, promises and trust...

"But you could've done something, anything!" Kai insisted, "I can't believe you did this to me..." he mumbled, closing his eyes, seemingly as if he were about to cry. Sighing, Aoi stepped forward and grabbed both of Kai's hands, deciding to just bury his ego and make a last try to fix his relationship with the drummer...

"Yutaka. Please believe in me. Trust me. I'd never hurt you on purpose..." he begged, his heart wrenching as he watched a single tear escape Kai's closed eyes, "Please don't do this to me."

And silence was all that ensued before his lover croaked out a silent reply that broke Aoi's heart and hurt his pride.

"Just let go of me, Yuu," he breathed, "I - This is all too fast for me, I need to think it over..." he trailed off, more tears running over his cheeks, "Please let go..." keeping his eyes closed shut, refusing to see Aoi's eyes that probably showed hurt and anger as well... But what was Aoi to expect? That Kai would forgive him just like that? Somewhere in the bottom of his heart, Kai was actually hoping that the raven guitarist would somehow give a last try, maybe if he did, Kai would give in... Would he? But what happened next shocked Kai immensely. The drummer immediately opened his eyes in surprise, more tears escaping his chocolate-brown orbs.

Aoi had let go.

"If that's what you wish."

---

Okay. Call me a bitch for making you guys wait half a year and then ending it there.. But this is like, already too long as it is~~ Comments, PLEASE!