When we got back, I pounded out my quizzes for tomorrow while Alice and Jasper watched a movie in my living room. I wandered out at one point to find them wrapped around each other, totally engrossed in Gone with the Wind. I owned a lot of old movies, and often preferred them to the newer releases.

There was something so wonderful about old Hollywood. In college I had taken a film history course and fallen in love. Forget that the studios completely owned the actors, that there was drug abuse and closet homosexuality and all sorts of unhealthy repressive shit going on behind closed doors. Forget the black lists and the Red Scare. Movies captured on cellulose were beautiful.

I went to bed not long after 11:00, expecting to toss and turn for most of the night. Instead, I slept like a baby. When I woke up a few minutes before my alarm I was sprawled over the entire bed, arms and legs akimbo, wrapped in my comforter with all my pillows surrounding me. I sighed with happiness. No apish boyfriend stealing all my covers and taking up room. I could get used to this.

I floated through my day. The empty feeling had returned, but it wasn't unpleasant. After the turmoil of the last week, the emptiness was welcome. During my prep periods I pondered what seemed like an impossible situation. Jacob and his father Billy had been coming over for Christmas for the last three years. Jacob's sisters never came home for the holidays, so it was just the two of them. My dad and Billy had been friends since before I was born. The Blacks were practically family. I couldn't ask my dad to uninvite them, but I couldn't sit there and act normal either.

I asked Rosalie about her plans for the holidays. Emmett had invited her to spend Christmas day with his family, and she was incredibly nervous. I laughed, remembering her unnecessary panic over meeting Edward.

"If they have any sense, they will see just how much Emmett loves you and will accept you as a Cullen family fixture on the spot," I declared, squeezing her hand and smiling at her.

At the word love Rosalie turned pink. Interesting, she never blushed. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale have you been holding out on me? Why the blush? Did something happen?"

"Um… Emmett said he loves me for the first time last night after we got back to my place," she said softly. Watching her, I was reminded of Alice's face the night she told me Jasper had proposed. She was glowing. "We talked for a while, and I said it back. I know it's only been a few months, but I've never felt this way about anyone before, Bella. He makes me so unbelievably happy!"

I tried to smile. I really did. The empty space in my chest throbbed slightly, though, and I think the pain filtered through to my face. Rose's glow dimmed slightly and she looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean to rub your face in it," she said immediately. "I shouldn't have said anything, not with all you have going on…" she trailed off, still looking kind of stricken. She was probably waiting for me to burst into tears. Despite the ache in my chest and the complete lack of internal organs, I didn't feel the familiar burn of tears. Maybe my tear ducts disappeared with my stomach and heart.

"No, no, of course you should say something!" I protested. "It's just weird, that's all. Last week I was thinking that this would be the Christmas that Jake, you know… and now we're not even together anymore." I was quiet for a second.

"It's just really weird."

"Yeah, I can see how it would be," Rose said gently. She hugged me, and it was nice. She didn't normally do the touchy-feely thing, so it wasn't like an Alice or Jasper hug. But it was nice. I could feel the reassurance and love she put into it.

"You're a good melon, Miss Hale," I said, pulling back and grinning at her. She cracked up at the reference to When Harry Met Sally. We both loved the little old couples who were dispersed through the movie.

"At that moment I knew," she quoted back at me. "I knew the way you know about a good melon." Her eyes got all soft and misty again. She looked right at me and I knew she was talking about Emmett. I didn't know how or when, but I had a feeling that Rosalie Hale would be Rosalie Cullen someday. It was written on her face.

"Geez, Rose, you're going to give me a cavity," I shoved her lightly and left the teacher's lounge to teach my last classes of the day. After school I shooed away a few drama girls who were unsuccessfully trying to get me to tell them what the spring play would be. I tried to be mysterious about it, saying they would find out with the rest of the school after Christmas break. Truthfully, I hadn't decided yet, which left me in a bit of a bind. I would really have to hustle unless I wanted to commit to doing something old enough to be in the public domain.

When I got home, Alice attacked me.

"I was so bored!" she pouted. "Why you have to have a normal job where you're actually forced to have a schedule and a desk is beyond me. You're lucky I brought my sketchbook with me. My office is wherever I happen to be." She winked at me and gestured to my sofa, where, sure enough, sketches and designs littered the cushions.

I sighed. "You didn't get chalk or charcoal on my sofa did you? That stuff's a bitch to get out."

"Of course not! I'm a professional," she said. She started gathering up her drawings and arranging in them in neat piles on my kitchen table. Suddenly I remembered that I was going to ask her to stay through Christmas.

"Alice?" I started, hesitating. This was an incredibly selfish thing to ask. On the other hand, she just announced she didn't really need to be anywhere to get her job done, and I was sure she had more than enough clothing to make it through the holiday.

She set down one last stack of paper and turned to me curiously. "What? Spit it out, Bella," she laughed.

"I was wondering if you would want to stick around for the next week... I know Jasper has to go back to New York for his job but since you're just going to turn around and fly straight back, and you brought your work with you…" I trailed off uncertainly.

Any doubt I had was erased when Alice gave me a big smile and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"I'm so glad you finally said something! I was going to have it suggest it myself pretty soon. I packed hoping for an extended invitation, changing time zones unnecessarily is a total downer, and I haven't spent real time with you in such a long time," she said. She was fast talking now, but at least she wasn't excited enough that her words were blurred together. Yet.

"Do you want to come to my house for Christmas? My parents would be so happy to see you, and Cynthia loves you so much! You know she started at the University of Wisconsin-Madison this year? I haven't seen her since her graduation. Jasper's coming for Christmas this year too, it'll be like old times, please?" It was a wonder she wasn't gasping for breath at the end of that diatribe.

I laughed happily, relieved. "Thank you, Alice. I would love to visit your family for Christmas. I was a little worried about going home to Charlie and the Blacks. This is a wonderful excuse, I can still stay with Charlie and see him, but I can get out of the house when they visit. Now I just have to call Charlie."

Jasper wandered out of my office, which was currently doubling as his and Alice's bedroom. He looked kind of sleepy.

"Hey, Jas, taking a nap? Must be nice!" I joked, smiling over at him. He scratched his head, tangling his fingers in his mop-like blonde curls and yawning.

"My ears were burning… I heard my name and decided to come out and see what you two ladies were planning," he said, smiling back at me.

"That reminds me," Alice said, looking back to me. "We're going out tonight. I've been texting with Rosalie all day and she had some really great suggestions. We're meeting at the Wild Onion for bar food and drinks around 8:00, and then we'll let the night take us where it will! No boys allowed, and you have to let me pick out your outfit," she finished with a flourish. She looked very proud of herself. I had to admit, it was clever to make all the plans before I had a chance to veto anything. How well she knew me.

"Well at least you gave me some time to relax," I said gratefully, checking my watch. It was only 4:00, and she wouldn't need four hours to get me ready. Glancing quickly back to her face, I sighed in dread. It seemed she would.

"How much do you looooove me, Bella?" she said angelically. "Enough to let me pamper you completely and totally and not complain about it?" She batted her eyelashes for good measure.

"Can I at least take a bath first?" I asked, sighing.

"Only if you let me give you a face mask first," she sang back at me.

"How about, you put on the face mask, and I get to sit with it on in the tub?" I counter-offered.

"Deal," she said firmly.

Ten minutes later I was steeping in steaming hot water with green goop smeared generously over all over my face. Honestly, it's not like I needed it, but whatever kept Alice happy.

By 7:00, I had my toes and fingernails painted, my skin treated with a sugar rub and lotion, my hair curled and styled, my make-up done, my eyebrows plucked, and all manner of other completely unnecessary beauty treatments. I stood in front of my mirror and shook my head in disbelief. My legs looked impossibly long in the dress that Alice had given me, and my feet looked dainty and elegant in a pair of low kitten heels. I was almost convinced that I wouldn't break an ankle tonight. Key word: almost.

"Seriously, Alice, what did you do to me? I don't even look like Bella Swan anymore," I said.

"You look like a new and improved Bella," she corrected me. "A Bella who knows what she wants and doesn't mind taking it! A Bella who will not be pushed around! A Bella who will get drunk with her girlfriends and take a cab home because she feels like it!"

I laughed with her as she did her make-up and touched up her hair. For some reason, she insisted on spending hours working on me but was able to handle her own "treatments" in 20 minutes. It never ceased to baffle me.

When we got to the Wild Onion, Rosalie was standing at the crowded bar surrounded by men. She was clearly in her element, giggling and tossing her hair and fluttering her long eyelashes in a way that looked completely natural. Whenever I tried doing that it looked like I had something in my eye. She noticed us standing there and smiled, waving us over.

The men she was standing with moved out of our way and looked us over. It had been a long time since a man had conspicuously checked me out, and I wasn't used to it. I hardly ever went out without Jake anymore, and my single days were never what one would describe as adventurous. It was kind of awkward, and I was painfully aware of the way their eyes lingered on my breasts and my butt. I tugged at my dress, trying to cover up my cleavage. Alice shot me a glare and grabbed my hand before I could mess any more with what she had affectionately dubbed her "masterpiece."

"Hello, ladies," a dark haired man greeted us from Rosalie's left. "We were just chatting with your friend here. Gwen didn't tell us she had such beautiful friends." He was clearly drunk. Gwen? Who the hell was that? Then I saw the look on Rosalie's face and it dawned on me. We were using bar names tonight. Excellent. I hadn't been Camilla in a while. Before Alice could ruin it, I replied as smoothly as possible.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Camilla, and this is my friend Annabelle," I said, squeezing Alice's hand slightly as I introduced her. She caught on quickly and we flirted our way into a round of drinks. After we said goodbye, we wandered away to a free booth and collapsed in giggles.

"Seriously, Bella? Annabelle? That's the best you could come up with?" Alice snorted into her cranberry vodka. "And you so do not look like a Camilla. Oooooh you should be Nora next time! Nora is a good name!" Thus decided, she took another big swallow of her drink.

"Bella is always Camilla, don't even bother trying to get her to change it," Rosalie rolled her eyes. "She thinks it's funny."

"It is funny! Come on, who in their right mind would actually name a child Camilla? That's like introducing myself as Ernestine. And they always buy it!" I giggled even more. The dark haired man had bought me two Guinness's and I was getting pretty drunk. What can I say? I'm a cheap date.

"What do you want them to do, Bella, tell you your name is ridiculous?" Rosalie laughed. "There's no way in hell they'd have a shot with you after something like that."

"I seriously doubt any of those guys wants a shot with me," I said, shaking my head skeptically. "Even if they think I'm attractive enough right now, they wouldn't stick around after they saw me on a normal day. Or on a bad day when I have snot leaking out of my nose and puffy, red eyes." I grinned at Alice. "Only my friends think that's ok. Maybe I should bat for the other team. Women are much more sympathetic about stuff like that."

Alice exhaled through her teeth, making a hissing sound. "Bella, please don't make me say this more than once. I will vehemently deny ever admitting this if either of you bring it up again, and I am only admitting it now due to recent circumstances."

"You are absolutely stunning in a t-shirt and jeans. There." My jaw dropped a little as what she said registered.

"If you really think that, why are you constantly forcing crazy clothes and beauty regimens on me?" I stuttered.

"The only reason I like dressing you up is because it's a huge confidence booster," she explained. "It pulls you out of yourself a little. You should see the looks you get sometimes. Obviously you don't notice, but you would be shocked if you paid a little more attention. I thought Edward was going to throw you over his shoulder and take you home yesterday, and what were you wearing? That stupid cartoon t-shirt and a pair of jeans."

My jaw dropped a little lower when she mentioned Edward, probable sex god, actually being physically attracted to me. I closed my mouth before I looked any more like a dying fish and processed her assessment.

"Besides," she added with a lopsided smile. "I love shopping, and torturing you gives me an excuse."

With that, she downed the rest of her drink and grabbed my hand in one of hers and gestured to Rosalie to follow. She pulled me toward the dance floor and starting twirling me around.

As we danced and laughed through the rest of the evening, I thought about what Alice had said, not just tonight but also that night at the coffee shop. She thought I was beautiful and capable. But she also thought I was too wrapped up in the comfort of my life to step outside the bubble and go for what I really wanted. I never thought I was giving anything up, but what if she was right? This thing with Jacob, no matter what the circumstances surrounding his involvement with Tanya were, made me reevaluate the choices I had made and the reasons I had made them. After all, as my mother always said right before she did something particularly crazy or adventurous, life is a sum of all your choices. My mother was a doer. My friends were doers. I wanted to be one too.

When we arrived back at my apartment around 2:00 a.m., I checked my cell phone and saw I had two missed calls and two voicemails. I typed in my password and waited.

"Bella, don't delete this." Jacob's voice greeted me first. He sounded exhausted. I seriously considered it for a second, then sighed and listened to the rest of the message. Cheating bastard or not, he was my oldest friend, and I could handle listening to one message. I didn't have to call him back.

"Things happened yesterday that I never intended. It was all so fast, and I swear I wasn't planning it, and I know you probably hate me and you have every right to. But God, Bells, I love you." His voice cracked, it was obvious he was crying. I felt a little guilty. Not guilty enough to call him back, but guilty enough that I regretted spitting in his face. A little.

"Please say you'll get together with me this weekend, just to talk. I need you. I don't work without you. We can work this out. I love you." He was whispering now, he sounded desperate. With one more hushed I love you, please call me the message ended. I thought for a second, biting my lip in indecision. I decided to save the message. Alice could spot bullshit a mile away. She should hear this.

The next voice I heard was velvety and smooth, although a hint of the exhaustion I had heard in Jacob's message also leaked through here. "Bella? I hope this is really your number otherwise I'm leaving a message on some complete stranger's voicemail. Not that that's awkward or anything, I mean what kind of complete stranger would call me back? Oh, God, if you aren't Bella please don't call me back. Just… delete this." He rambled for a minute, talking too fast. I giggled. Edward was either a nervous talker or really terrible at leaving messages. Either option was entertaining.

"Anyway, right, the reason I'm calling. Uh, I know you like coffee, and I was wondering, you know, if maybe… after my shift ends and I get some actual sleep. I guess, I'm trying to ask if you wanted to grab a bite to eat on Sunday morning? You know, breakfast. They serve coffee with breakfast," he stopped and took a deep breath. I could hear the whooshing sound his breath made as he exhaled it quickly. "So…call me sometime. Leave a message. Yeah. OK. Bye. Oh yeah, um this is Edward." He hung up, muttering something under his breath. I saved it and collapsed on my bed, torn between giggling some more and jumping up and down clapping. Before I could give either option serious consideration, I noticed how incredibly soft my pillows were. Without any meditation practices or breathing exercises, I just drifted away into a peaceful sleep. My last thought before I fell asleep was a happy one.

I could get used to this.