People seemed happy with seeing more of Nate and Serena. That's fortunate, since they will be featured a lot more from this point on =)
This will be the last chapter posted before Midsummer, at the least. I'm swamped at work right now and have little to no time to do my re-writes/adjustments for this story. Hope this chapter will be pleasing enough to suffice for the next couple of weeks.
"Don't you just love the holiday season?" Blair sighed happily as she and Serena made their way down Fifth Avenue. "All the music, all the lights, all the decorations, all the joyous spirits… And of course, all the gifts."
"It's only the first week of December" Serena pointed out.
"So? Holiday season starts with Thanksgiving. And we had a lot to be thankful for this year."
"Yeah. Unplanned pregnancy mid-college, who-hoo!"
Blair wrinkled her nose and shot Serena a look. Then she decided not to pay much attention to her best friend. She was in good spirits and planned to remain that way.
"B, I'm so glad you called and suggested we go out shopping" Serena said, deciding to change the subject. "I've barely seen you at all these past couple of months; we've both been so busy on our own ends."
"Nothing like a shopping trip to bring two best friends closer together" Blair smiled.
"It's so great to have a day out just the two of us, no talk of babies, no talk of college, no talk of what the hell I'm supposed to do with my life… Just two besties out spending some not entirely well earned money."
Blair giggled, then she turned serious.
"So you're no closer to figuring things out, huh?" she said.
"Nope."
"I think you just haven't found a purpose in your life yet" Blair said. "I mean, you don't seem to know what you want to do when you're all grown up and earning your own keep. Unless you plan on being a society wife; a nice trinket on some rich man's arm?"
"Hardly" Serena snorted. "Although that would save me several years at college, which I have to admit is alluring."
"I hope you'll be able to figure it out soon" Blair said. "Taking a year or two after high school to find where your true calling lies is only natural, but after a certain point a person has to find their goal and stop drifting around aimlessly."
"Have you found yours?"
"I know exactly what I'll be doing in the next twelve months" Blair said and motioned to her belly.
"No, I mean, what you want to do with your future."
"Finances" Blair said. "Something within the world of economics. I figure it's either that, a legal degree or a medical degree, since I'm too smart to settle for something lame, like being an art major."
"What's wrong with being an art major?"
"Nothing! It's just that some people are smart and others are artistic."
"You're saying artists can't be smart?"
"Hello, Serena, have you met your musician ex-stepfather? Spend an hour with Rufus and my point is proven."
Serena shook her head. It was good to know Blair wasn't mellowing.
"So you're going for either economics, legal or medical?"
"Those are my three best options" Blair nodded. "Legal, I don't know, it's not really my thing. Daddy's a lawyer and so is Cyrus, but aside from them lawyers annoy me. And medical is definitely off the table. I do not want my Jimmy Choos defiled by blood and gore from a bunch of sick people. Ew!"
Serena giggled.
"So finances it is then" she concluded. "Basically you'll be doing what Chuck does, only with a college degree?"
"Business empires are not for me" Blair said. "It's the numbers that interest me, not so much the managing of the property you've bought. Besides, if both of us set out to create our own empires then nobody's going to have time for the kid."
"The numbers, huh? I see Audrey Hepburn is out and you're channeling Scarlett O'Hara more and more each day. You're not going to hire prison slaves to work for you, are you? Because I wouldn't put that past you."
Blair rolled her eyes.
"Serena must you immediately compare my life to a movie? I'm simply saying the numbers are what interest me, the managing of whiny employees, not so much."
"Why must I immediately compare your life to a movie? This question from the girl who's spent most of her life imagining she's in an Audrey Hepburn film?"
"That was before" Blair stated. "When I was a young drifter like your good self."
"A what?"
"Now that part of my life is behind me" Blair said, caressing her belly. "Fantasy time is over, I now live in reality."
"That's strange, because it seems to me you're deeper in fantasy land now than you've ever been before."
"That's just the happy glow of a pregnant woman" Blair smiled.
"You know what, can we talk about something else?" Serena sighed. "Like where we're going to start spending our money."
"I have the answer to that" Blair said.
She took Serena's hand and led her into one of Manhattan's finest stores for everything baby related. Serena gaped when she realized when they were and then felt incredibly sorry for herself. She had wanted an outing free of everything baby related but now it became obvious that this particular store was the only reason Blair had wanted to go shopping in the first place.
"I have a whole list of things to get" Blair said, fishing a list out from her handbag.
"B, seriously?"
"What S?"
"This is where we're spending our money today? This is our great day out shopping? A baby store?"
"I don't know about your money, but this is definitely where we will be spending mine" Blair said. "Don't worry S, we'll go to Bendel's when we're done."
"To shop for maternity dresses no doubt" Serena whined.
"No, but I do need some new bras. I've gained like a cup-size and a half."
"Wonderful" Serena sighed.
"Yes, Chuck seems to think so" Blair said and started looking around the store. "The first thing I want to get is one of those little thingies that play music for the baby."
"A radio?" Serena suggested.
"No it's a special kind of music player. You put it on your stomach and-"
"I get it. Is that actually necessary?"
"Studies show that babies that get to listen to classical music while still in the womb become smarter than other babies."
"Or at least snobbier."
"More elitist."
"Why don't you just pay someone to read Kafka to your belly?"
Blair rolled her eyes but didn't respond. Serena reluctantly followed her to the other end of the store where Blair soon found what she was looking for. This was the most boring shopping trip of Serena's entire life and when she saw the number of items on Blair's shopping list she thought she might need a very strong drink to get through it all.
"Why are you out buying all this stuff on your own?" she asked as Blair picked up a baby monitor and studied it carefully.
"I'm not. You are aware that you're here, right?"`
"Oh yes…" Serena sighed. "But why me and not the father?"
"Seriously S" Blair said, putting the baby monitor back on the shelf. "Is it so strange that I would want to bring my best friend for this? This is the biggest thing that has ever happened to me and it's going to change my life forever, whether it be for the better or not. I know you're skeptical of all this and I know I talk too much about what's going on with me sometimes, but would it kill you to at least be a little excited for me?"
"It's… it's not that, B" Serena backtracked, feeling a bit guilty over her lack of enthusiasm. "I just thought that this might be something you and Chuck would want to do together?"
"No" Blair said and looked dejected. "You're not the only one who's unexcited; my dear baby daddy isn't exactly jumping for joy yet either."
"I'm sorry B…"
"No matter" Blair said, forcing a smile. "Everything will be fine. At least so long as we find everything that's on my list. We are not leaving this store Serena until we've found the perfect baby blankets, preferably cashmere."
"Is this part of the whole nesting thing?" Serena asked, smiling slightly as she followed Blair through the store.
"I'm just excited to be out buying all this stuff" Blair said with a soft smile, picking up a blanket.
"If you guys get one of those cribs you have to put together yourself then promise me you'll give me a call when it's assembling time" Serena said, picking up a blanket as well. "I wouldn't miss the sight of you and Chuck trying to put together a crib for all the couture in the world."
"Do-it-yourselves cribs are for commoners" Blair frowned.
"Can't you get one anyway? Just for my benefit? Seriously B, seeing the two of you at work with a crib would totally make my day! It can be your Christmas gift to me!"
"I already got you a scarf" Blair smirked. "What do you think of these blankets?"
"They're really nice and soft."
"Not soft enough. Seriously, is it so hard to find an expensive cashmere baby blanket in this city?"
"I guess so."
"If this is the kind of stuff they sell at these stores then I am so only going to buy what I necessarily have to here" Blair declared.
"Let me guess, rattles from Tiffany's?"
"Of course. We're not animals. Okay these blankets are clearly sup-par but you know what, that's okay. I'm thinking we should get monogrammed baby blankets. It's more personal that way."
Serena laughed and followed Blair as she continued her walk through the store.
Luckily for Serena it didn't take very long for Blair to be finished. She hadn't even gotten half of the things she had been out to buy, partially because she didn't like what the store was selling and partially because she started getting very hungry after twenty minutes.
With only one bag in Blair's hand they left the store to get lunch and then go spend Serena's money on clothes. Serena was practically skipping at the thought of lunch and then some actually fun shopping.
Over the course of the next few weeks Serena found herself getting more and more tired of Blair and all her baby talk. Not only had her best friend started to see herself as enlightened and mature, preaching to Serena in a slightly condescending matter, but it seemed to Serena like Blair was using the pregnancy to her advantage as much as possible.
She was beginning to lose count of the number of times their lunch plans had been completely controlled by Blair, who would claim some craving or other to get her way when they weren't in agreement over where to go for lunch. And whenever Blair didn't feel like going to an event, or meeting up, or doing anything at all she would blame it on the pregnancy and claim she needed her rest. It was getting very frustrating, and Serena didn't know how Chuck put up with it.
Blair did in fact use her condition as an excuse to get out of doing something she didn't feel like every once in a while, but it wasn't nearly as often as Serena thought. When she came into her sixth month she started feeling more tired, and tried taking it easy whenever she could. Dressing up to attend fancy dinners or events rarely seemed alluring to her at this point, especially since dressing up and putting on heels meant murder on her feet.
The situation with Chuck remained the same, neither getting better nor worse. The way his mindset stayed the same affected her more and more for each day that went by. They were now only a few weeks away from Christmas, and after Christmas came a new year, and the baby would arrive during the first quarter of that new year. She felt like time was starting to run out, and which each day that went by without him showing any real interest in his unborn child she grew more and more nervous.
He had only once put his hands on her belly on his own; it was always Blair who had to take his hand and put it where he could feel the baby moving. The feeling of a kick didn't seem to leave much of an impression on him.
So far everything they had gotten for the baby were things Blair had bought. Chuck hadn't come with her once when she went out to buy something, and he never asked to see what she had bought. She brought everything to her mother's penthouse and kept it there, figuring that's where she would be spending most of her time come March.
She spent roughly half her time at her mother's even now. Whenever she went to bed there she was alone, and many nights she had to wipe away the tears falling down her cheeks before she drifted off to sleep.
She told herself that she was just being hormonal, and certainly that was true. The sheer fact that she had watched "Casper" when it was on TV and bawled like a baby was proof of that. But she also knew some of her tears were well-founded.
Nate came home after a long and unusually boring day of lectures and threw himself down on the couch. He then frowned when he noticed he wasn't as comfortable as he wanted to be.
He shifted around and reached down his hand to find what he was looking for. Something he had been lying on, that didn't make for a very comfy mattress.
He held up the thing he had been lying on and groaned. It was one half of a baby monitor, and exactly what it was doing on the couch Nate had no idea.
"Chuck!" he roared.
Chuck came out from his bedroom.
"Yeah?"
"Why the hell is there a baby monitor on the couch?"
"Blair was testing it earlier."
"A baby monitor? Seriously? The baby's not coming for months. Who the hell buys this kind of stuff this far ahead?"
"Blair Waldorf" Chuck said, and hopped up and took a seat on the pool table.
"And why is she testing this crap here?"
"I guess she figured it would be easier to test it if someone was on the other end, making noise" Chuck said dryly.
"But why here? Can't she do it at her own place, with Dorota?"
"I think she's trying to make me a part of all that stuff she runs around doing."
"And it was impossible for you to stop by her mother's penthouse?"
"What is the big deal, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked, a bit amused by his friend's strong reaction to finding a simple baby monitor on the couch.
"The big deal is I'm sick of having my home taken over by a crazy pregnant chick."
"It's also my home, and I'm dating the crazy pregnant chick" Chuck reminded him.
"Then either move in with her permanently, preferably at her place, or tell her to leave her stuff elsewhere. And for the love of God make her stop moving furniture around and lay off with the obsessive cleaning. Last week I caught her scrubbing my bathtub!"
"You have a bathtub? Why didn't I know that? And more importantly, why don't I have a bathtub?"
"Chuck. Focus. Are you even listening to me?"
"Why does this bother you so much anyway?" Chuck asked. "So she cleans, where's the harm in that? And she rearranges stuff, big deal. She's been leaving stuff around here ever since I first moved in, since before you were living here, so why is it all of a sudden a problem now?"
"The problem is that I don't want to have my life and my home rearranged just because you guys are having a kid you didn't even plan for."
"I don't see how it's going to be possible for this place not to be affected" Chuck remarked. "Blair might be the one who's pregnant but the baby is coming to both of us."
"Yeah, and that's weird enough."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I'm happy for you guys, but it's a little weird that you've knocked up my ex" Nate said.
"Seriously? I thought we were past all of that."
"I thought so too, but that was before you got her pregnant. It's not something I think about all the time or anything, but I can't help but think it's odd seeing her in this condition thanks to you."
"Look, if it's that strange for you to see her carrying my child then that is something you will have to find a way to deal with" Chuck said. "You're not the only one who things it's strange, might I add. This has been a huge change for Blair and I."
"I know. That doesn't mean I should have to be stuck in the middle while the two of you try and play house."
"That's not what's going on here."
"Really? Then why is my home being taken over by my pregnant ex, and you just let her do whatever she pleases?"
"I can't believe a few pieces of furniture in different places and a baby monitor forgotten on the couch bugs you this much" Chuck said, getting annoyed.
"Well it does."
"Deal with it Nate."
"What's going to happen next year, when the baby comes?" Nate asked. "This place is going to be full of diapers and baby wipes and a kid screaming all night long?"
"Yes, I should assume that will be the case at least some of the time."
"Will I even still be welcome here?"
Chuck made a face.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Am I going to be kicked out?"
"I haven't kicked you out yet, have I?" Chuck said dryly.
"Maybe you should. If you're going to in March then why not at least give me a heads up now so I can start looking for somewhere else to stay?"
"I'm confused. Do you want to stay here or do you want to be evicted?"
"I want to stay. But I have a feeling I won't be able to."
"So that's what's really going on here" Chuck concluded. "You're assuming we'll be kicking you to the curb when we bring home an additional person. Why not just tell me that, why start yelling at me about Blair?"
"Actually it's two separate issues" Nate said, getting up and starting to pace back and forth in the room. "Both issues boil down to what really pisses me off the most."
"I'm all ears."
"All these changes are being made around me without nobody asking me what I think" Nate said. "I should have a say in what goes on around here, or at least be treated with enough respect that you pretend to include me in these decisions. Or at least give me a heads up before I'm thrown out of here, or before Blair starts putting up new wallpaper in my bedroom. Either ask me to leave or respect the fact that this is my home too."
Chuck shook his head. If Nate really had that big a problem with Blair and her antics then he should be talking to her. And it hurt to think his best friend believed he would throw him out without a word of warning.
"Nathaniel did you ever stop to think that the reason why I haven't hinted that you should start looking for new digs is because I don't have any intention of asking you to leave?" he said calmly.
"And why is that? Because as long as I'm still here everything sort of remains the same and you can keep pretending that you're not about to be a father?"
"All hail the status quo?"
"We both know that as soon as Blair moves in here full-time with the kid I will be moving out as soon as I can" Nate said. "You're just doing that guy thing where you avoid having a difficult conversation by dragging things out until the other person has had enough and takes the initiative."
"Are you female in that little allusion?"
"If you had any respect for me you'd at least address the issue with me before you move Blair in."
"Who says she's moving in here full-time?"
"She will be. Trust me, she will."
"Then keeping all the baby stuff at her mother's place is going to prove to be a big mistake" Chuck replied dryly.
"Except it's not all the baby stuff."
"Right, everything except for a stupid baby monitor."
"Maybe at first she will be at her mother's with the baby a day or two each week. That won't last long. She will come to spend the night here and then before you know it it's been six months and she hasn't spent a night at her mother's in all that time."
"Okay, say that is what happens…" Chuck said. "Whether or not you decide to stay here will be entirely up to you."
"Until you guys decide you want your family bonding time to yourselves" Nate argued. "Which I expect will be roughly two days after the baby is born. When are you going to realize that this is your child she's carrying, and you will want to be around it as much as possible once it arrives? Besides, living with a baby is not something I'm interested in."
"Then that makes two of us."
"Yeah well at least I didn't make the thing so I shouldn't have to put up with all the smells and the screaming and the baby stuff everywhere…"
"Fine Nathaniel" Chuck said, getting angrier. "You know what, I am sick of listening to your whining. Either shut up about it or move out. Frankly I don't care which."
He jumped down from the pool table and crossed his arms over his chest. Nate stopped pacing and found himself engaged in a death glare match with his roommate.
"Then I'll be out by March" he finally said. "I'll go stay with Dan in Brooklyn."
"Enjoy the nostalgic feeling of slumming it."
"Hey at least he makes a better roommate than you. You never saw me as a real roommate to begin with, did you though? This isn't our place, it's yours and I rent a room."
"I own the whole damn hotel Nate" Chuck pointed out with a tired sigh. "So yeah, in that sense this is my place."
"Then I will be sure to find someplace that can be at least partially mine" Nate said.
Chuck snorted and turned to go back to his bedroom. On the doorstep he stopped and turned to look at Nate.
"Hey for the record, I've never seen this as my place where you rent a room. I think it would be more correct to say that you've thought of this as a convenient place for you to lead a comfortable existence. I doubt you moved in so we could hang out more."
With that he walked inside his bedroom and closed the doors behind him. Nate made a face at the door and grabbed the baby monitor to go throw it in the trash. He was so sick and tired of his ex-girlfriend's pregnancy being what the entire world had to revolve around. The thought of moving out of the Empire and to a place of his own was sounding better and better.
He hadn't been serious when he mentioned moving in with Dan, but the more he thought about it the better it sounded. They could get an apartment together and be actual roommates, not like it was to live with Chuck.
Nate walked into his bedroom and threw himself down on the bed with a tired sigh. He only wished he could move out right away.
"Did you hear Nate is moving out?" Blair asked Serena a few days later when they were taking their new winter coats for a walk through Central Park. Serena's was bright pink, the kind of color few people could pull off but which looked natural on Serena. Blair's was grey. She had been disappointed to find out they didn't make maternity coats in too many different colors and was starting to long for the days when she could wear whatever she wanted again.
"No" Serena said. "Why?"
"Apparently because he wants to shack up with Humphrey. God, what did either one of us ever see in Nate Archibald? The man has zero taste in men, ending his roommate days with Chuck in favor of Dan Humphrey."
"Really?" Serena said. "He just decided to get up and leave?"
"Yup" Blair nodded, shoving a large spoon of frozen yogurt into her mouth.
"Just like that?"
"Mh-hm."
"And this has nothing to do with how the living arrangements at the Empire are bound to change next year?" Serena asked. "Or the very real possibility that you and Chuck will go apartment hunting a few months from now? Nothing to do with the penthouse overflowing with baby stuff, making Nate feel superfluous in his own home?"
"First of all you don't even know what the word 'superfluous' means" Blair said. "Second, we have no baby stuff at the Empire. Chuck has made it clear he doesn't want me living there full time so all the stuff is at my mother's."
"B, come on…" Serena said. "It's obvious what is going on here."
"The only thing that's obvious is that you're taking his side automatically" Blair retorted. "You always do when it's him versus Chuck."
"Or maybe I see where Nate is coming from."
"Nate's just being a big baby" Blair said, chewing on a gummy bear.
"So there is some specific issue that's the reason why he's moving out?"
"You know, I'm beginning to think that the only reason you're suddenly so interested in this topic is because you want him to stay at the Empire" Blair said.
"Why would I want that?"
"If he's living with Chuck, and I'm with Chuck, you will have reason to stop by the Empire and perhaps run into him."
"I told you B, I'm done with men. For the year."
"A year which is almost over, S."
"I was referring to a school year" Serena said.
"You're not done with men. The moment a cute guy walks by you and gives you the flirt eye you will have decided to get back on the market."
Serena snorted, offended by the implication. Blair ignored her reaction and continued eating her yogurt. Serena couldn't for the life of her understand why Blair would want to eat something like that while they were walking through the park on a cold, windy December day but her friend didn't seem to mind.
"All I'm saying S," Blair said after a moment, "this whole deal with trying to find yourself is admirable but you just don't like being single. Ever since you first discovered relationships you've been fluttering from one to the next."
"Oh and you're any different? Dating Nate since kindergarten then moving on to Chuck, dating other men while actually wanting Chuck?"
"Nate was my first love" Blair said. "Chuck is my great love. Those other guys were mere distractions, plans I tried to make when Chuck didn't seem to be an option."
"Right, but when have you ever really tried being single?"
"That's beside the point, and we're not talking about me, we're talking about you" Blair said, filling her mouth with more yogurt.
"I don't recall asking for your opinion."
"S I'm only trying to help you out of love" Blair said with a smile. "Trust me, I see things more clearly now. I've gotten this whole new perspective on life and I… Oh!"
"What?"
"Nothing. Fry's just kicking."
"Fry?" Serena echoed with disbelief.
"Yeah. Chuck's and my nickname for the baby. Since it's a baby Bass. A bass fry."
"Yeah I get it" Serena said, thinking it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard.
"As I was saying," Blair continued, "I have this whole new vantage point and I'm just out to help you."
"Okay, you know what B, I am getting just a little sick and tired of this" Serena said, unable to hide her irritation any longer. "You don't have a new perspective on life. You might be pregnant but that doesn't make you Upper East Side Yoda."
"I'm telling you Serena, I see things differently now."
"No I don't think you do" Serena argued. "Because the maturity and the wisdom you keep claiming you've achieved, the high horse you've put yourself on, none of that comes automatically with being pregnant. It's not like you conceive and suddenly somebody flicks a switch and you become enlightened."
"You haven't been in this condition so how would you know?" Blair argued back.
"You're just in denial. You are deep in denial mode, playing the part of the blessed pregnant lady, but none of that is for real. You're just the same as you always were except now you try to suppress yourself."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Blair frowned.
"It means when was the last time you went to a party? Huh? You used to love parties."
"Yeah, so?"
"So, being the pregnant woman out on the town doesn't fit your perfect fantasy, so you stifle your personality to play the part in the movie in your head."
"It's not about a fantasy S" Blair objected. "It's the exact opposite. I know I've been staying home a lot recently, and I will be staying home a lot for quite some time now. That doesn't mean I've given up on my interests. When little Fry is older I'm going to start going to parties again but right now I have more important things to worry about."
"So you have to stop being you in order to be a mother?"
"Serena let's be realistic" Blair said. "People with small children don't go out to parties all the time. They stay at home and take care of their infant. If I'm stifling the reckless, carefree part of myself then it's because the baby is more important, and I really don't want to turn into the same kind of mother you have."
"Excuse me?"
"I just find it a little hypocritical that you're saying all this to me when you know firsthand what it's like to have a mother who goes to parties instead of tucking her children in at night" Blair said frankly.
"Okay, low blow."
"I'm just being honest Serena. I want to be a good mother, and if putting my social life on hold for a while is what it takes then I'm okay with that. I mean, it sucks a little, but I'm realizing more and more that I have to make real changes."
"This isn't about what kind of mother you'll be" Serena said. "It's about the thing that drives me crazy the most. How you keep using your condition to your advantage."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"You know exactly what that's supposed to mean" Serena said, stopping at the spot where Blair liked to feed the ducks. "Whenever you want something your way you use your condition. Whenever you don't want to do something, whether it be show up to a party or a lunch or go out for a walk you use your pregnancy as an excuse. I'm sick of it Blair! Frankly it's disturbing to see you use it that way."
"Excuse me" Blair said, wrinkling her nose. "What do you know about how I'm feeling when I cancel on something? Do you think being with child is no different from normal life, except you're heavier?"
"I think you are very well aware that nobody is going to question you if you blame your condition for not showing up to something."
"You don't have the slightest idea how I feel so don't you dare judge me" Blair said icily. "And as for dishing out wisdom, I am only trying to help you so what's the big harm?"
"The big harm is that your high and mighty holier-than-thou attitude is really starting to grate" Serena snarled.
"I think you're just jealous because my life is in order and yours isn't."
"Are you kidding me?" Serena cried. "Blair your life is a complete mess. Really, you are the last person who should be handing out advice."
"My life is not a mess."
"Yes it is. You have no idea what you're in for when that kid comes, and by the way it's not really a baby yet, it's just a fetus."
"Serena you got a C in biology. This is a baby. However that's even relevant."
"Regardless, your life is going south fast and the only reason you're not aware of it is because you've fled into your fantasy and you refuse to look at reality. An unwanted baby in the middle of college, born to a pair of parents who have serious issues, both individually and as a couple. Chuck at least seems to see that you're headed for disaster but keeps his mouth shut because he's afraid of how much it hurt him when you guys were split up and he doesn't want to go back to that pain. Which, by the way, may I remind you that the two of you had a nasty breakup less than a year ago?"
"I know that. I also know we worked things out."
"Your relationship is fragile at best" Serena said, crossing her arms over her chest. "The two of you still have a lot of unresolved issues. You couldn't make it a full year when it was just the two of you, so how long do you think you'll be able to keep up the façade when a child is involved? A month? Two?"
"Don't you try and tell me about my relationship with Chuck" Blair said, furiously chewing on the last gummy bear. "Our relationship is good Serena, and we are only going to be stronger from this."
"Really? Is that why he still hates the thought of becoming a father?"
"He does not."
"Yes he does, and everybody knows it. Face it Blair, the two of you are going to crash spectacularly and this time a baby is going to get caught in the middle. Your lives are a complete disaster."
Blair stared at her furiously without being able to get a word out. Serena gave her a challenging look. While she hated to argue she was glad to finally be speaking her mind. All this baby business was annoying, and Blair's way of dealing with it stupid.
After a moment of starting coldly at each other Blair decided she had had enough.
"My life is not a disaster" she said icily. "Shall we compare my life to yours? I'm in college with a clear goal, you have been drifting aimlessly since high school with no clue what you want to do with your life. I made things work with Chuck again, you haven't been able to do that with Nate. My life has found a purpose, yours is still void of any real meaning. But fine. If this is the attitude you want to have, if this is how you see the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, then I won't subject you to my pregnancy antics any longer."
"Is that a threat?" Serena asked. "Or is it a promise?"
"A promise" Blair said.
She turned on her heel and walked off, angrily throwing her empty yogurt cup in a trashcan as she passed it by. Serena watched her go and thought good riddance. It felt surprisingly good to finally give Blair a piece of her mind.
She turned and strode off in the opposite direction. She had no doubt Blair would come running the moment her perfect fantasy started to crumble.
Blair didn't look up when Chuck opened the bedroom doors and walked in. She had been lying on the bed for quite a while now, staring at the glass wall, feeling too low to be able to flee into her fantasy world. The world where everything was perfect and there were no problems on the horizon.
Her argument with Serena had really hurt. She felt abandoned and attacked, while at the same time aware that Serena had been right about a few things. She had been right about what she had said about Blair and Chuck together and right about things not being as perfect as Blair wanted to pretend that they were.
What hurt the most though was what Serena had said about Blair using her pregnancy to get out of things she didn't want to do. While it was true that it had happened once or twice it was usually the exact opposite of what Serena thought. Blair wanted to go to whatever she was cancelling on, but she was feeling too tired. Serena just didn't understand, and it hurt Blair to know that Serena would automatically assume she would use her baby as just another card to play to get her way. And it hurt that her best friend couldn't seem to muster up any sympathy for what she was going through.
She felt Chuck climb up on the bed and align his body to hers. He kissed her shoulder and then her cheek, wondering what was making her look so blue.
"Hey…" he said softly.
"It's late" she said, casting a glance at her wristwatch. "What took you so long?"
"I walked back" he said. "And on the way I stopped and saw something in a window that I had to get. It's for Fry, but I was thinking you could hold on to it until the baby comes."
She turned her head to look at him with surprise.
"You've never bought anything for the baby before."
She noticed the bag in his hand and instantly got curious. He reached his hand inside the bag and pulled out a stuffed animal.
"It's Dumbo" she noticed. "This isn't some sort of you'll-be-big-as-an-elephant joke, is it?"
"No" he chuckled and handed her the stuffed animal. "I saw it and it reminded me of… of the one memory I have of my father where he actually seemed to enjoy being a father."
"You only have one such memory?" Blair said, gently exploring the plushie with her fingers.
"Pretty much, yeah. I was… four, maybe five. And my Dad was watching 'Dumbo' with me, which in itself was a rare occurrence; Bart had no patience for silly children's movies. But he was watching it with me, I was on his lap, and I remember that he was rocking me slowly during that scene where the mother elephant rocks Dumbo on her trunk."
"Bart Bass did that?"
"I know, can you believe it? It was like he was actually relating or something. Seeing Dumbo in that store window reminded me of that. I thought we could give it to the fry when it's been born, have it be the baby's first stuffed animal. It can remind us both of… I don't know, remind us of something. Remind us to be better parents than Bart or Harold or Eleanor. And maybe we could sing that lullaby from that scene to him or her? Make sure our kid knows he or she is loved."
She felt his hand slide down her side and rest on her belly.
"And maybe you and the fry can both be living here full-time… Especially now that Nate is leaving. Or if you want, we can get an apartment. You, me and Fry, the three of us… living together as a family. The kind of family our little girl or boy should have."
Overcome by emotion she had to fight back the tears that had been threatening to start rolling down her cheeks ever since she had parted from Serena.
"Blair, is everything okay?" Chuck asked gently.
"You've never shown any real interest in Fry before" she said, studying the plushie in her hands. "What changed?"
"I've been worrying that I'll never feel any fatherly love" Chuck said. "That I would end up treating our child the way Bart always treated me. I was worried I couldn't feel the way a father should feel about their child. When I was reminded of that one incident when I was little I realized Bart did feel that kind of love, at least sometimes. And if he could, so could I. But I refuse to be like him and forget about being a real father for long periods of time; I want to be a father for real. It scares me to death that I might not be able to be, but I want to at least try. When I held the plushie in my hands it was like… I could just imagine myself, holding a child, making it feel the same way I felt when my Dad showed me affection. For the first time I felt like I was looking forward to meeting Fry. I'm not saying I've pulled a 180 here, but for the first time I feel more positive than scared. I wish we had been older and in a better place, but I think I'm ready to start actually dealing with the situation instead of fighting to keep my blinders on."
Blair nodded but couldn't keep a tear from falling down her cheek.
"Won't you tell me what's on your mind?" Chuck said. "You're upset about something and for once I don't think it's me."
"It's just Serena" Blair said.
"What has she done?"
"She gave me this big stink about how I'm using the baby to get my way and to get out of things I don't want to do, and how I'm deluded in thinking anything good can come from this, and how you are well enlightened as to how our lives are going to crumble and it's only a matter of time before our lives are ruined forever and ever."
"Who put coins into her soapbox jukebox?"
"It just really hurt to hear her say those things Chuck."
"How could it not?"
"She's supposed to be my best friend! She's supposed to be happy for me!"
"Look, Serena… for all her good qualities she doesn't have a lot of insight" Chuck said. "She's probably been terrified or getting pregnant herself so she can't comprehend the fact that you might think it's a wonderful thing. At the same time she might be jealous. You have me and you have the fry, and you have a plan for the future. My stepsister might claim she wants to find herself but deep down I think she just wants to find some man who won't leave her. It's a whole big daddy issue thing."
"So I should just ignore what she said?"
"You should take it for what it is" he said, placing a kiss on her shoulder. "If my sis can't find it in herself to be supportive then she can go take a long stroll off a short catwalk."
"She basically said I'm an annoying bitch."
"You are an annoying bitch. But you're pregnant, so I forgive you. Serena's an annoying bitch too but what's her excuse?"
She smiled faintly.
"I just wish my best friend could have a little faith."
"She'll come around. Once she sees that the world hasn't imploded just because Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass became parents she'll come crawling back. If even I can start to come around then so can she."
"And until then?"
"Until then you have me. And Dorota. Among others."
She nodded, but couldn't get rid of the lump in her throat. She looked at the plushie she was still holding and suddenly felt even angrier at Serena than before. This should have been an amazing moment. She had been waiting for this since October, but Chuck warming up to the idea of the baby was tainted now by the fight with Serena.
"Hey…" Chuck said softly. "You don't have to pretend to be just a little annoyed. You're more upset than you would like to let on, believe me I can tell."
"I will not cry because of Serena" Blair said. "Not tonight."
"You might feel better if you do."
With a finger on her chin he turned her face around so their eyes met. He then kissed her lovingly and gently caressed her cheek.
That did the trick. The emotions she had been fighting to keep control of ever since she left the park got the best of her and she felt the tears start to fall down her face. She curled up as best she could and hugged the Dumbo plushie tight as she began to shake with sobs.
Chuck nuzzled his face in her neck and held her as tight as he could, his hand still on her baby bump. He let her cry, knowing she would feel better once she got it all out, and tried to be there for as best he could.
I'm still not happy with how the last scene turned out. I don't want it to seem like too quick a change in Chuck so I hope it comes across that he hasn't gone from hesitant to super excited, but that he's had sort of a breakthrough moment.
I also hope it's at least possible to see where Serena and Blair are both coming from (and Nate too, for that matter). Blair's actions and reactions will be further explored down the line.
Until next time, please review!