A/N: Thanks for all your reviews folks! keep 'em coming!!!! So here it is, the conversation. Get the feeling he'd rather have a Tyler slap than actually have to talk about anything? Hmm, what does he have to say for himself?!

Chapter 7

"What?"

"I've been talking to Martha. You begged the Daleks to kill you even though Martha would have been left on her own," her voice cracked slightly at the thought of him offering himself up. "If they had killed you I would have fallen through the rift and been alone. I spent months crying over you, mourning for you, trying to fill the hole where you used to be and you just wanted to curl up and die."

The Doctor looked at her for a while trying to piece together the explanation she was waiting for. Taking a deep breath he silently cursed Martha.

"When I met you I was lost. I'd failed in saving my world and for the first time in any of my lives I'd lost faith. In myself and the universe. For the first time in my long and stupid existence I was unsure of myself, blundering around the universe fixing one mess after another, most of it my doing but I was never sure if I was doing the right thing. And then there you were, in that basement yelling at those shop dummies to stop messing around. I took your hand and told you to run and without question you did. You stood in that lift and decided they must be a bunch of students and from that moment I knew I liked you. No screams, no mindless panic, just straight forward thinking, even if you were wrong." He offered a small smile before he continued. "You were so straight forward,"

"And you were rude. Called me a bonehead!"

"I also drank coffee instead of tea, had big ears and almost no hair. You stepped onto the TARDIS looked around and knew what I was. I asked you if it was alright and you said 'yes'. Simple as that, no fear, nothing. Just that one little word. You saved the world in that 24 hours and my life in more ways than you can ever know. You were my salvation Rose Tyler. You made me happy; you made me embrace life again. When I lost you it was like the time war all over again. There was this huge hole and nothing made it better." He stood and stalked around the room, running his fingers through his hair. "I… it was like I didn't care what happened anymore. I had to keep the earth safe because I knew you'd want me to, it was you that kept me fighting without even being here but I didn't care if I actually lived because without you it all seemed pointless. So if I'd died doing it, it wouldn't have mattered, not to me. I felt every one of my 900 years and another few centuries on top. I was so angry and bitter and lonely and all I really wanted was to see you. To hold your hand. To run to your room to tell you something you wouldn't care about just so I could make you laugh. But I couldn't and I was lost again with no one to find me." A stray tear slipped down his cheek but he made no move to wipe it away.

Rose stood and crossed over to him wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, holding him close.

"I didn't realise," she whispered. "You never said, but I'm glad I found you, both times." Pulling back she wiped the water from his cheek, noticing how tired he looked. The day had taken its toll. "Come on, let's chill out. Watch some t.v. We would have heard from Jack by now if there was any trouble and you can't do anything in this state."

XxXxX

Martha looked up at Jack. He seemed unsurprised by anything the Doctor had said but this was all new to Martha. Now she understood how Rose and the Doctor had become so close. But she couldn't help but wonder if a relationship based on his insecurities and her innocence would ever really last.

"Let's make some tea," he whispered guiding her away from the door.

When they returned the Doctor was stretched out on the sofa, head resting back on Rose's shoulder, arms wrapped round a cushion.

Rose was absently combing her fingers through his hair, watching some mindless drivel on t.v.

"Thought you could do with one of these," Jack smiled, handing her a mug.

"Is he asleep?" Martha asked.

Rose nodded and smiled softly.

"He actually sleeps?"

"And eats and drinks and farts," Jack said tiredly. "The Doctor is almost human. In fact judging by some of his antics he's more human than anyone realises." He winked at Rose and she blushed.

"He never slept when you were around then?" Rose asked her.

"Only if he was knocked unconscious." Martha rolled her eyes.

They all sniggered as the Doctor mumbled something and shifted in his sleep, holding the pillow tighter.

"Looks like he's dreaming about you, Rosie," Jack teased.

"Behave," she hissed, a smile tugging at her lips.

Martha shifted in her seat and kept her eyes fixed on a spot on the wall. She didn't want to be there right now, it was all a little too cosy for her. She wasn't used to seeing the Doctor this settled with anyone and it made her wonder where she had ever figured in his life. Here the three of them where; Jack, Rose and the Doctor acting all domestic as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Martha had never felt more out of place.

Her reverie was broken as a ripping sound silenced the friendly banter.

Her gaze flicked to the Doctor and found him pulling at the fabric of the cushion he was holding, tearing it to shreds, the insides flying all over the place.

"Rose," Jack was on his feet ready to help.

"It's okay, I've got it." She brushed her fingers through his hair and whispered in his ear.

Jack and Martha watched with fascination as the tension in the Doctor's arms ceased and his eyes flutter open.

Looking more than a little dazed he gazed round the room, blinking rapidly trying to focus.

"You okay there Doc?" Jack asked. "You look a little pale."

"Yeah I'm fine," he rasped then cleared his throat.

"Shame the same can't be said for the cushion," Martha said, watching a feather float through her eye line.

The Doctor's eyes widened and he suddenly sat upright, looking at the massacre. "Was that…..?" he looked at Rose.

"It's only a pillow," she told him, picking feather from his hair. "Go on, have a shower. I'll get rid if the mess."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Like you meant to do it."

Running his fingers through his hair, the Doctor retreated from the room.

"What was that all about?" Jack asked finally.

Rose shrugged. "I guess he had a bad dream," she told him quietly. She didn't think the Doctor would want Martha to hear any of this.

The Time Agent raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Rose's gaze moved from Jack to Martha.

"I'll go and wash up," the girl said, gathering the tea cups and heading for the door.

"He has nightmares sometimes," Rose continued. "They used to happen more often before we all found each other again. He said he hadn't slept in nearly two years because when he did he always had the nightmares. He hasn't had one for a while. I thought maybe they'd stopped," she shrugged sadly. She bent down to pick up the shredded remnants of the cushion cover.

"Why didn't he say anything before?"

"I guess he was embarrassed. I don't know. That's why he didn't come to bed once the concussion wore off. There was nothing to keep him in a deep enough sleep to ward them off. That must've been a fairly tame one though."

"Tame? He was sweating, trembling and killed that cushion with no effort."

Rose looked at him intently. "Have you been in the library lately? Notice anything different?"

Jack looked at her oddly, his brain trying to conjure up the image of the room in his head. "Books," he said finally. "There are fewer books."

Rose nodded.

"So? What he's throwing books out in his sleep?"

"No. He destroys them. He rips them apart with his bare hands while he sleeps."

Martha held her breath as she stood outside. She hadn't intended on listening but she couldn't help it. The more time she spent on the TARDIS the less she felt she knew about the real Doctor and she didn't think anyone would actually tell her things like this. She knew one of them would exit soon so she moved as quickly as she could along the corridor, Rose's words ringing in her ears.

"What does he dream about?" Jack asked.

"Everything. Everything we've ever faced. He watches them night after night…..and they all end the same way. With me dead." Her tone gave nothing away as she moved to the door. "I'll get a hoover."

Jack stood stunned as Rose left him alone.

XxXxX

Next time:

Some one gets to say; "I'm not cute. I'm rugged and manly."

Coming soon:

"They've got no reason to want me, Rose or Martha so I'll ask again; what have you done?" He grabbed Jack by his shirt collar and shoved him onto the jump seat, but his voice remained dangerously calm and for the first time since he'd met the Doctor, Jack was terrified. He'd been made nervous by the Time Lord's anger but now he saw the real Oncoming Storm.

A/N: Ahhh poor Doctor. Anyways folks let me know what you all think, the next chapter is a a happier one just to lighten the mood. As always that littel button down there likes a good tickle so give it a go, that's right the blue/purple/lilac/green/multicoloured/greyish one (any other colours we wana add here? just drop me a line and I'll add them every time I update!!) lol.