AN- Here's the next chapter! I hope you guys like it. Someone said they ddn't realize Still births were a real thing. Still birth is a baby dying in the womb later than 22 weeks. Sorry it's taken so long with my stories. I had a bad infection for a while and was in isolation. I'm starting to get better.

"GET IT OFF ME!" The scream woke Stef. "PLEASE, GET IT OFF!" Lena was thrashing in bed next to her, her legs clamped tightly shut, and in hysterics, moving closer to her wife Stef could feel the dampness under them. Ignoring it she wrapped Lena in her arms.

"Love, it's just a nightmare," Stef tried to sooth as she caressed Lena's distraught face, trying to wake her, "Come on, open your eyes for me. Come on, Baby."

"Get the blood off of me Stef," Lena whimpered, Stef quickly turned on the bedside lamp, looking under the covers she was relieved to see it wasn't blood, but what she had thought in the first place.

"Ok, Ok, but you have to open those eyes for me," Stef said louder, hugging Lena to her, "Lena, Love, wake up," She said louder as Lena woke up with a gasp. She looked around the room before ripping the blankets off of her, hiding her face in her hands when she saw she had wet the bed,

"Oh God," She muttered to herself, "Stef, you're in it," she said to Stef pointedly.

"It's fine," Stef said as she scooted up farther on the bed out of the dark stain and pressing a kiss to Lena's temple, "Go hop in the shower, I'll throw these in the washing machine.

"No, it's my fault, I should do it," Lena said as she stood, still shaking from the nightmare and the lack of sleep.

"Lena," Stef said as she stood up and gripped Lena gently on the shoulders, leading her to the bathroom where she started the bath and shower at the same time, "Rinse off in the shower and then hop in the bath, I'll come back once the laundry is started."

Lena went to argue but was met with a glare by Stef. Instead she stripped off her wet underwear and sports bra. As Lena got in the shower Stef picked the underwear up with the bra and threw them in the washer along with the sheets. Their blanket she put in a garbage bag to be taken to the dry cleaners. About that time she heard the shower go off and Lena getting in the bathtub.

"Mama?" through the door was called softly. Stef had just started cleaning the matrress when she opened the door to Callie and Mariana.

"Hi Babies," Stef said as she watched then, Mari half a step behind Callie.

"Is Mama ok?" Callie asked unsure, shifting from foot to foot.

"Mama's fine Baby Girls. She just had a nightmare, but she's fine. She's in the bath," Stef assured.

"Can I see her?" Mariana asked quietly, looking at Stef with wide pleading eyes.

"Come on," Stef said as they walked through the bedroom. Callie and Mariana saw the cleaner by the bed and it hit Callie what happened.

"Love?" Stef asked quietly as she cracked open the bathroom door. Lena sat with her knees drawn up to her chest and her cheek resting on her knees, "The girls wanted to check on you." Lena looked surprised for a moment before wiping her eyes quickly and forcing a smile on her face.

"You guys should be sleeping," Lena said, keeping her knees to her chest to cover herself.

"We wanted to make sure you were ok," Mariana said as she gripped Callie's arm.

"I'm fine, Sweetheart, just trying to relax," she said, not exactly lying to them. The ends of her curls clung to her back, though puffed higher up where she had not stayed in the shower long enough for the water to permeate all of her hair. Callie nodded,

"Can I take the car to go to the store? I was going to make biscuits and gravy but we have no sausage."

"Callie Girl, it's four in the morning. I want you to wait until the suns up. Try and go back to bed, alright?" Lena sighed softly.

"Yes, Mama," Callie said as she started to turn.

"Do you want me to come lay with you until you fall asleep?" Lena called as they started to walk out of the door.

"We'll be fine," Callie shook her head as they made their way out of the bedroom.

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"I can't go back to sleep," Mariana groaned as she laid in her bed.

"Just try and close your eyes, I can put on music," Callie suggested from her own bed where she was wide awake.

"Do you think Momma's going to be ok?"

"I think so. It's only been three days. Give it some time."

"I'm worried about her," Mariana sighed into the darkness a few minutes later, "Momma never is like this."

"Death is hard, Mar. I guess it's probably harder for Momma since she's been carrying Abilene."

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(In Lena and Stef's room)

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Love, really," Stef said as she sat behind Lena in the bath. Lena laid against her but kept her body rigid

"I'm 42 and wet the bed Stefanie," Lena sighed holding her arms across her chest.

"You had a nightmare, you couldn't help what was going on with your body," Stef said soothingly as she ran a wash cloth down Lena's chest.

"Yeah, I seem to not to be able to control my body a lot lately," Lena said, sitting forward in the couple inches of bath water. She wasn't supposed to take a real bath yet, she couldn't wait to be able to sink her body in warm water.

"I want you to listen to me!" Stef said firmly as she turned Lena so she was looking at her, putting a hand under Lena's chin she raised Lena's head as she used to do with the kids when they were young, "Abilene, she never knew what it meant to be cold, she never experienced a scraped knee, or hunger, or tirdness. The only thing that little girl ever knew was to lay warm and content under her Mama's heart, at most listening to the loud household. Our other kids, they've had to face horror in their lives, you made her environment as comfortable and as loving as you could. She felt your love, every second she was alive. You have to stop beating yourself up, Baby! THere is nothing you could have done."

"Can't I still wish?" Lena whispered, breaking her wife's stare.

"Of course you can Love," Stef said softer, "But beating yourself up isn't going to bring her back."

"I know that Stefanie, "Lena said harshly.

"Do you?" Stef asked, "Because you're acting like if you blame yourself enough she'll come back. She isn't coming back."

"You should have just told me no," Lena said, stepping out of the bath.

"No to what?" Stef asked exasperated.

"To having a baby," Lena said as she wrapped a towel around herself.

"I should have," Stef agreed quietly, "But if I did we would have always wondered."

"I shouldn't blame you, Stef," Lena said after a few minutes of silence.

"You shouldn't blame yourself either," Stef said as she got out herself.

"It's hard not to," Lena sighed.

"I know," Stef said, pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top, watching Lena try and stiffle a yawn and rub her eyes, "Why don't we go lay back down for a while?"

Lena nodded following Stef out of the bathroom. Stef pulled Lena to her, stroking Lena's hair as Lena snuggled into Stef's chest.

Stef watched Lena fight sleep and eventually fall asleep.