The scene unfolding in front of Thorin's eyes was one he would undoubtedly treasure forever; the fireplace in his home was blazing as the last moon of Autumn slid into place high above their under-mountain home, their table was almost full and the air was full of laughter as members of his family filled their living room.
"If you're going to take up space in my kitchen, you'd better plan on making yourself useful." He tore his eyes from the sight of Fili practically glued to Balin's side as the dwarf read to him from whatever tome the boy had decided on from their small collection, to the woman at his side holding a masher in her outstretched hand as she stirred a pot.
"It wouldn't be Durin's Day without my famous potatoes." He laughed, taking the implement from her hand and moving to the pot of freshly boiled potatoes cooling on the worktop.
"Your famous potatoes." She scoffed at the statement. "Funny how they only became famous after I told you to add cheese."
His retort died in his throat and was replaced by a grin as the final member of their small family signalled his arrival with two hard bangs on their front door.
"I won't hesitate to bill you for a new door." Ellie called out as he opened the rickety piece of wood that he'd been meaning to replace for years now and revealed the waiting Dwarf.
"And a happy Durin's Day to you too, Ellie." Thorin simply laughed at Dwalin's deadpan reply to the woman who was a full head shorter than him but no less fierce.
"Welcome, brother." Thorin greeted the man, the pair reaching out to each other in sync as they clasped the backs of their necks and pulled them close; foreheads touching with a force he knew made Ellie wince, before stepping back and allowing the bulky man in.
"Uncle Dwalin!" The dwarf barely had time to remove his furs before a small blonde blur launched himself at the warrior.
"Just when I thought he was starting to get sleepy." Balin sighed, shutting the book and standing. "Evening brother."
"Evening brother." Dwalin replied, meeting the man in the same embrace as Thorin. "Am I late?"
"Not at all." Thorin told him as Balin moved back to his seat on the sofa, Fili in hand as the lad was promised a more exciting tale after dinner. "We're still preparing." He held up the masher with a grin.
"Your famous potatoes!" The warrior laughed. "I knew this would be worth travelling for."
"Ah, I'd travel from the ends of the world for Ellie's cooking – that girl knows how to operate a kitchen." Thorin laughed at Dwalin's compliment, the man rubbing his full stomach with joy as he leant back in his chair at the now empty table. "You're a lucky man."
"That I am." He smiled, his eyes instinctively flitting over to the woman in question as she sat side-by-side with Dis, the pair whispering about something as Fili slept between them; his head on Ellie's lap as she absentmindedly stroked his hair.
"And a happy one too, by the looks of things." Balin added, stealing back Thorin's attention with a sly smile.
He liked this part of Durin's Day the best; the part where the celebrations start to die down and blind merriness is replaced with true conversation. It had become a tradition of sorts now; they would all converge on this house, with Dwalin travelling in from whatever far flung place he'd wandered too in the months past, and would celebrate their most holy of holidays together, as a family.
When the meal was over and done with, Ellie and Dis would retire to the living room to relax while the three men cleared up and then filled their tankards to the brim with whatever Thorin had been hoarding for this exact day, and just be.
"Aye." He agreed. "But why wouldn't I be? My family are all here and Mahal gifted us with a full table."
"Fili's growing into quite the young lad." Dwalin observed. "Now might be a good time to hand over that sword you've been working on since he was born, turn him into a real git khuzi."
"Not yet. When he's a little more balanced with the wooden one I'll take him up top – out of harm's way." Thorin smiled at the thought. "Besides, he'll be far too preoccupied with a new friend soon."
"New friend?" Balin asked with a frown.
"Aye." Thorin lifted his tankard. "We've a new Durin on the way."
There was moment of silence before Dwalin reacted to the news.
"About dammed time!" The victorious slap on the back from the large dwarf all but choked him as he took a drink of his ale.
"I knew that happiness in your eyes was different, Thorin." Balin grinned as Throin tried to cough out the ale that had stuck in his lung. "I'm so pleased for you; both of you."
"Like I said; about time!" The dwarven brothers knocked their tankards together in a sort of toast before drinking heavily and giving Thorin the time he needed to decipher their strange reaction to the news.
"I'm just glad…" Balin started, wiping at his chin as he lowered his tankard. "…that you've moved past all those burdens you've lumped on your shoulders for all these years and are ready to accept Erid Luin as not just your home for now, but your family's home for the foreseeable future."
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Ellie of course." Dwalin rolled his eyes. "Damn baby's already got his mind in a twist."
His eyes snapped back to Ellie and he suddenly saw all that they did when they entered his home: the pair of dwarves with their lives so closely intertwined both working to bring the family together for an important celebration. He saw how at home Ellie was with Fili asleep on her lap and how the three men sat together drinking could be seen as his way of trying to announce something of vital importance.
"Dis is pregnant." He said, his eyes moving back to them just in time to see their smiles fade slightly and them share a look as realisation dawned.
"Ah."
It was firmly winter now, the cold chill in the air was present even deep with their mountain community. But despite the cold it was a good day; the market was bustling with every cart packed full of commodities and spirits were high as celebrations from Durin's Day continued to occur despite the date having passed.
That's the thing about losing so much, Ellie mused as a group of children rushed past her, you cling onto the important stuff so much more. And Durin's Day was important, it was the start of a new year for them; for this group of people who thought their first winter out of Erebor would be their last on this Earth as the snows descended on their ramshackle camps in the wilds.
But today was good for far more reasons too; firstly, she'd finally made her decision about what she wanted to do with her life. She'd assumed that the merchant knocking at their door late into the night had been bearing bad news so it had been more than a surprise for him to sit at their table and offer a business deal instead. She had been shocked, Thorin apparently, hadn't. the man insisted that he'd been waiting for someone to actually offer her money for one fo her drawings for some time now, especially as they'd gotten larger and more elaborate following the ready availability of paints courtesy of Dis' husband.
"I told you having a merchant in the family would be a good thing." Thorin had said as she squealed in delight over a new shade of green. She'd merely elbowed him in the stomach, deciding to forgo a reminder of his stubbornness all those years earlier, and thanked the merchant for his kindness before re-wrapping the paint and storing it away for future use.
"Looks like a certain stall is getting quite the crowd." Dis teased, nudging her as they rounded a corner and were met with the sight of a rather busy cart; it's owner exchanging coins for landscape drawings with ease.
"They're likely doing it out of some misplaced loyalty." She said, turning from the stall. "Why would these people, who have received a simple sketch as a present for years, buy more of my work?"
Dis rolled her eyes. "Because you're talented." She told her, looping her arm through her own. "Isn't that right, mim razdith?" She asked, smiling down at the five-year-old holding onto Ellie's free hand as he nodded eagerly.
That was the other reason for her happiness; Dis. Though only just beginning to show, her pregnancy was clear to see as she walked everywhere with hand protecting her growing bump and grinning to everyone who stopped to ask how she was.
The dark cloud that had surrounded the princess for the past few years seemed to be losing its hold on her. She wasn't sure if it was the excitement of a new baby or the fact that her husband had promised to reduce his travels after coming home to find that his son barely knew him. Not that Fili lacked male role models though, Thorin was rarely from the boy and Balin was a huge part of his life too. Between them they'd started the lessons that all members of the royal family had once received at young ages in Erebor and it warmed her heart every time she saw a glimpse of a true prince in the boy's eyes. One that promptly faded whenever Dwalin showed up with a new tale of adventure and a mini weapon to re-enact it with.
But everything seemed to be falling into place for Dis and she was confident that she'd not be needed as much anymore: Fili was older, they weren't living pay-check to pay-check anymore and Dis was far more prepared for a baby this time around.
It's why she'd said yes to selling her work and judging by how much money the man had delivered to her from his last outing into the lands of Men, she wouldn't be scrabbling for grocery money anytime soon either.
Things were falling into place for her too, she supposed. Less time with Dis meant more time at home and more time at home, meant more time with Thorin. Thorin. She'd be a fool to say that she hadn't noticed how close they were; how comfortable they were together especially when it was just the two of them and a small child. They'd never spoken about how easily they'd fallen into a routine together and now, with Dis firmly building her own life, maybe they'd finally have the chance to explore what they could be if left alone.
Thorin made her happy. He made her feel warm and safe and she knew that if they were ever going to get back onto the track they'd been heading towards back in Erebor, it would be now. she knew that he thought himself unworthy these days; that his forge was no replacement for the crown he'd lost but she was desperate to show him that the throne had never been the reason she spent time with him. That she filled her days with him because of who he was, not who he would have been.
If riches and parties had been her plan, she'd have married long ago to all the men who wrote to her when they'd settled here. Thorin had never seen the inked promises of silks and jewels and he never would; they'd become ash as soon as she reached the end of the page and her replies, though courteous, had been simple: No.
They continued to wander through the maze of stalls, stopping now and then to finger at something that took their eye until the sound of a hammer moulding steel filled their ears. Fili instantly perked up, whether at the promise of warmth from the forge or just the prospect of seeing his beloved uncle. Dis smiled too as they neared the familiar forge and called out a greeting to the only man in Erid Luin who wasn't bundled up against the cold: sweat running down his forehead, Thorin pushed his loose hair from his eyes and grinned at the approaching party.
Yes, today was a good day, she decided, glancing once more at the busy market square before stepping into the warmth of the smithy.
"We told him not to." The dwarf wrung his hat between his hands as he spoke, never daring to meet their eyes. "Told him that in those winds it would impossible." Ellie's hand tightened around Dis' as he continued. "But he went anyway emulhekh. We couldn't stop him and then the snow shifted and…" He trailed off, his eyes moving from his hands to Thorin's as Dis' sobs intensified. "We dug through the night." He told him, eyes watering at the memory as Thorin nodded solemnly. "Knew we had to bring him home."
"And we will never be able to thank you enough for that." Thorin's voice sounded too loud in the smallness of their living room.
"No thanks needed, thanu men." The dwarf insisted. "He was one of us."
Any further words of apology and sympathy were lost to Ellie as Dis let out another sob and she pulled the Princess close. They'd been in this position once before, she remembered; the memory of Dis sobbing into her as news of Frerin, Thrain and Thror was recounted to them. Thorin had had to be the strong one then as he was now; leading the dwarf back out of the house and no doubt making the first arrangements for the body to be prepared.
"He promised he'd come back to me." Dis cried, her words muffled slightly by Ellie's shoulder. "Promised he wouldn't go so far anymore and we could be a proper family." Ellie glanced down the protruding stomach that separated them from being any closer. "Why was he so stupid?"
She had no answer for her and instead resorted to shhing her and rubbing her back as the woman emptied her eyes.
She supposed that he'd attempted the crossing for the simple reason of it would be his last chance too. From what she'd heard, the narrow strip separating Edoras from Erech was treacherous even in the height of summer but now, with the winds so fast and the snow so blinding, trying to follow the rivers path had been deadly.
"How will I tell Fili?" Dis asked, her sobs receding as the initial wave of grief began to subside into plain worry. "How do I tell him his father is dead?"
"Dis..." She sighed, not knowing what to say to her as the Princess sat up.
"And what will I say to this one?" She asked, one hand on her stomach. "At least Fili will have some memory of his father, this one will never know him."
"They won't need to." She hadn't heard Thorin re-enter the room. "We've enough stories of him between us; it'll be as though he is here."
"But he won't be." Dis refused to look up at him as he rested a hand on her shoulder. "He won't be here."
"No, he won't." Ellie agreed. "But neither is Frerin, or your father and grandfather and Fili knows of them; knows who they are and what they did." She sat forward on the sofa and took Dis' hands in her own. "People aren't lost if their memory lives on."
"Will you help me?" She asked, voice cracking as she glanced between Thorin and Ellie. "I can't do this alone."
"Of course we will." Ellie's voice was soft as she met Thorin's eyes above Dis' head. With a sad smile, she turned from him and stared into their blazing fireplace where all her dreams of their future were now residing.
Everything was different this time; there had been no urgent knock at the door telling them that Dis was in labour because they had been with her, as they had been now practically everyday since the funeral; Thorin wasn't downstairs waiting for any sound of new life because he far above them on the mountains' surface distracting Fili; and there were no shared smiles between the labouring princess and her midwives because the older dwarves had already told them that something was wrong.
It had started yesterday when Dis had all but collapsed in her kitchen. Thorin had caught her before she hit the floor but things hadn't been right since; heart pounding, breath clipped and a sudden gasp as pain seared through her stomach had seen her confined to bed within the hour. Then the vomiting had started and just when Ellie was convinced things couldn't get worse; her waters broke.
Now she was red-faced and panting even as the contractions subsided and the damp cloth that had been laid over her eyes was apparently doing little to quell her crippling headache.
"What can I do?" She whispered to the midwives as they shared another grim look. "Please, let me help her."
"There's nothing that can be done, azbadu men." The female dwarf took her hand as Dis let out another groan. "It's going to be a long night."
The baby was a handful of minutes old when the tides turned on them again; the last hour had gone smoothly and Dis' headache had started to subside as the promise of a new baby had kept her going.
They'd barely had chance to tell her that she was the mother to another son when the convulsions had started. She'd turned with the bundle in her arms and almost dropped them as the princess' eyes rolled backwards in her head and she started to fit.
She'd been useless, absolutely useless as the midwives tried to hold Dis down and stop the jerky movements her limbs were making. The baby safely tucked up in its waiting bassinet, Ellie had practically thrown herself down the stairs and out into the street, she'd latched onto the first dwarf she'd seen and somehow they'd been able to understand her rushed beg for help.
Thorin arrived barely twenty minutes later, almost as red-faced as his now conscious sister, with Fili in his arms.
"Let me see her." His voice had been deathly low and she envied the bravery the midwife clearly had as she once again refused him entry into the bedroom, promising that once she was decent and comfortable she'd let them in.
"Ellie." Dis' voice, by comparison, had been shaky as she held out a hand to her brushing away the midwife trying to listen to her chest with a cone-shaped instrument.
"It's okay, Dis." She shushed the woman, perching on the edge of the mattress, the princess' freezing hand between her own as she tried to keep tears at bay.
"No." She took as deep a breath as she could. "No, it's not." She forced a smile. "But I'm okay with it; the curse of Durin women, remember?"
"I'm not going to let you die." She promised, squeezing her hand as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I promised to keep you safe."
"And you have." She lifted a shaky hand to wipe away the tear and Ellie wondered when exactly did the small girl she'd played with become this pillar of strength even as she lay here dying. "Now I need you to do the same for my boys. Bring him to me." She nodded to the bassinet at the foot of the bed and Ellie rose to lift the bundle and place him in his mother's arms. "He's beautiful." She murmured as he nestled into her. "With true Durin hair." She fingered the wisps of black covering his head before pressing a kiss to it and whispering to him softly. "Men lananubukhs me, bunnanunê." Feeling a fresh wave of tear coming, Ellie stepped back to allow the waiting midwife to take the baby before reclaiming her space and Dis' hand.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" Dis asked. "You have given me so much, Ellie; from the moment you stepped into my nursery you have been my sister and I will never be able to thank you enough for that…and so much more." She pushed herself up slightly, her breath straining slightly at the action. "You saved us." She squeezed her hand. "All of us."
"It was my pleasure."
"And that's what makes you family." She smiled softly, taking another deep breath as she delivered what Ellie knew would be her most important message. "Promise me you'll look after them." Her hold was tight despite the life fading from her. "Promise me."
"I promise." Ellie said, squeezing back.
"All of them." Dis added, her eyes darting to the door and the two who waited outside.
Ellie simply nodded, her understanding clear. She pressed a kiss to the princess' hand and gestured for the door to be opened. A whirlwind of blonde hair with a nose so like Frerin's burst into the room and clambered onto the bed with a cry of 'Mama'. Ellie wiped a tear from her eye and stood, giving the princeling room.
"I promise." She repeated, whispering to herself as a hand guided her by the shoulder into the waiting broad chest.
"Mim razdith." Dis breathed as Fili cuddled up to his mother. "You must be strong now, Sanûrzud." She insisted, stroking the blonde hair that was the source of all his nicknames. "I need you to be a good big brother." She nodded once again to the bassinet as Fili peered at it. "He needs you: Kili needs you."
"I promise, Amad."
"Good." She pressed a kiss to his head. "You should go now." She told him, hushing his cries. "But remember Fili, you and Kili…" She smiled at the bassinet. "…Menu tessu, uzfakuh."
She'd waited until the small prince left to say more; watching as Fili took Ellie's hand, the woman brushing away the tears that were free-flowing now, and smiling softly at them as they left with the midwives carrying Kili's bassinet behind them.
"Nadad."
"Namadith." He breathed, taking the space Ellie had previously occupied on the mattress edge.
"I don't know what to say." She wheezed, her lips lifting in a smile. "I never thought-"
"You don't have to say anything, Dis." He told her, taking her hand.
"I made Ellie promise to look after them." She told him, her eyes straying to the closed door as if trying to get one last look at her children. "Not that I doubted she would anyway but…it's comforting to hear it out loud."
"We'll look after them." He promised, unable to say more as his throat tightened at her paling face and fading grip.
"I know." She sighed. "But look after her too."
"Don't worry about any of that." He reached out to smooth back her hair. "Just relax."
"I wish I could have seen it again." She murmured, her eyes fluttering closed. "Erebor." She clarified and his hold tightened at the name. "Perhaps my boys will, one day." He let his own eyes close at the hope lifting her voice a little. "What will I say to her, Thorin? Will she like me?"
"Who, Dis?"
"Amad." She breathed the word. "I've waited my whole life to meet her and now I will, in the digondamaar."
"She'll love you, Dis." He told her, pressing a kiss to her hand. "As we all have."
She smiled at the thought; at the prospect of reuniting with their lost family in Mahal's halls. Thorin watched as peace crossed her features and felt his tears fall now she couldn't see them. He held her hand until the chill of her skin started to cool his own and then, with a kiss to her forehead he left.
A.N. Khuzdul to English translations:
Git khuzi – little warrior
Mim razdith – little sun
Emulhekh – majesty
Thanu men – my king
Azbadu men – my lady
Men lananubukhs me, bunnanunê – I love you, my tiny treasure
Sanûrzud – perfect sun
Amad - mother
Menu tessu, uzfakuh – you mean everything to me, my greatest joy
Nadad – brother
Namadith – little sister
Digondamaar – Golden halls of Mahal