Chapter 7
Blinking her eyes open, Elissa saw the afternoon sun dancing through the curtains. She stretched her arms over her head and sighed. Having spent almost a full week resting in bed had allowed her body to fully recuperate from the poison. Her emotions, on the other hand, still felt as volatile and confused as ever. She tried not to think about anything, but doubts and fears always seemed able to creep into her mind.
A soft knock at the door drew her out of her thoughts and she actually felt an emotion other than numbness at the thought of seeing Alistair again. Over the past week when nothing felt stable or predicable, Alistair was. He was constantly at her side. While comforting, she found her new attitude toward Alistair confusing.
"El?" Lelianna asked as she stepped into the room.
"LIL!" Elissa yelled, immediately sitting up and genuinely smiling for the first time that week.
"Stay there cutie. How are you? I have missed you so!" Lelianna said, while closing the door behind her and walking over to sit on the bed.
Elissa gave Lelianna a sad smile. "I'm alive."
"El, I came as soon as I heard." Lelianna said while pulling Elissa into her arms.
"Great" Elissa said, burying her head in Lelianna's shoulder. "So the whole world knows what a gullible fool I am."
Lelianna lifted Elissa's chin up and looked into her eyes. "You are not a fool! The crows are assassins. Trained from birth to lie and deceive. You were not the only one fooled by him. All the Grey Wardens, all of the men at Redcliff, even Nate- who is suspicious of everyone and everything- did not see him for who he really was."
Elissa chuckled. "I fell in love with a man who abandoned me when I needed him the most. When I finally opened up my heart again, it was for a man who was trying to poison me..." Elissa whispered. "And this past week Alistair has been caring for me and my stupid, naïve heart wants to trust him again! How could I ever trust him, or anyone, again!" Tears began falling down Elissa's cheeks as she looked to her friend, desperately wanting Lelianna to solve her problems.
Lelianna smiled, knowing Elissa wanted her to fix everything and knowing that only Elissa had the power to do so. "I don't have all the answers, cutie. But I do know one thing. There is a man out there who desperately cares about you. Who has not had more than a few hours sleep over the past week because he has been guarding over you. A man who would give everything he has to ensure you are safe and happy... A man who is not the same person as the little boy who abandoned us at the Landsmeet."
Elissa looked away, unable to face what Lelianna was telling her. Lelianna leaned in and gave Elissa a hug before saying "I'll go get you something to eat. Get dressed."
As Lelianna got to the door, Elissa said "I wish I could believe that he isn't the same person anymore."
Lelianna looked back at Elissa and sighed. "You do, cutie. But you don't want to let yourself."
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Lelianna closed the door and was immediately faced with a worried Alistair. "Is she ok? Does she need some food? Water? She needs more sunshine in there, doesn't she? I need to open the blinds for her..." Alistair said quickly.
"Calm down, Al!" Lelianna said, smiling at Alistair's devotion to Elissa's wellbeing. "She's a big girl and she will be fine. I was just going to get her something to eat. Then it is time for her to get out of that room and back to real life."
"Is she ready for that? I'm not sure she has all of her strength back yet. We don't want to push her too hard! She needs to rest Lil!" Alistair's concern grew. "No, I don't think...No. Getting out of bed is a bad idea. I'll go get Anders. He'll know what to do..." Alistair's words got faster and faster as he became more and more concerned over the prospect of Elissa leaving the safety of her room. Before Alistair could turn to run and get Anders, Lelianna grabbed him by both shoulders.
"Al! Listen!" Lelianna gave him a serious look. "She defeated the Archdeamon. She grew the Grey Wardens into the force they are today. She is a strong woman and she is ready to face the world again."
Alistair seemed to finally calm down at these words.
"With our help, of course." Lelianna added, smiling.
Alistair smiled. "You're right. I'll go get her some food and bring it back here."
"Bring it to the garden, Al. She and I will meet you there." Lelianna said. Alistair took a deep, slow breath, attempting to calm his nerves and alleviate the fear that Elissa wasn't ready for this. He then walked toward the kitchen to personally prepare Elissa's food.
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Tray in hand, Alistair walked out to the gardens. Glancing around, he saw Elissa and Lelianna sitting in the grass, surrounded by rose bushes and a sparkling fountain. His breath caught as he watched Elissa's beautiful hair shine in the sunlight and swirl around her, dancing in the wind. As he approached, he thought he heard Lelianna whisper "think about it", before both women turned to face him. Lelianna gave him a look which he knew meant she had been up to something, but the look of apprehension in Elissa's eyes was all Alistair could focus on.
Alistair knelt down, not taking his eyes off of Elissa's and placed the tray of food in front of her. "I made this myself. Nate has been coordinating the investigation, while Varel and Oghren have taken charge of increasing security in and around the keep. Anders even developed a spell which allows him to monitor a 30 foot by 30 foot area and know every person who enters that area. He says it is incredibly tiring and difficult to keep up for long periods of time..." Alistair made a face like he strongly suspected Anders was exaggerating how difficult the spell was "...but he's casting it now to ensure we are safe," Alistair finished, glancing over to Anders who was in the corner of the garden under the overhang, hands glowing blue and face contorted with concentration. When Elissa looked where Alistair was looking, Anders stopped making the face and winked at Elissa. I knew he was only trying to get sympathy from the female recruits! Alistair thought, with amused frustration.
Alistair turned back to Elissa. "You are completely safe." Elissa looked into Alistair's eyes and saw his sincerity. Clamping down on the emotions rising within her, she looked away and picked up the food. While Lelianna and Alistair talked, Elissa stared into space and chewed the food, not really tasting any of it. Her eyes wandered to Alistair and, of their own volition, studied him.
He was just as muscled as before, his hair the same color of gold. His eyes were the same chocolate. But the more she studied him, the more differences she began to notice. His jaw was stronger, even more defined than before. The stubble of his facial hair was fuller than the smattering of facial hair he had when they met all those years ago. He seemed a little taller.
His posture was...different. He had a confidence about him that was new. The kind of confidence that only comes from life experience. As devastated and weak as she was the past week, she was aware of how Alistair had taken charge during the chaos. She noticed that he was the one who guarded her, brought her food and water, cared for her. She felt him brush her hair out of her face when he thought she had fallen asleep. She heard him become a leader. Heard him tell Oghren to increase security around the keep. Heard him ensuring that Nate had everything he needed to conduct the investigation.
While this man looked similar, Lelianna was right, this was not the same person who was at the Landsmeet.
Alistair's heartbeat was going nuts, knowing that Elissa had spent the last few minutes looking at him. Alistair tried to keep his breathing even and tried to concentrate on his conversation with Lelianna. But it was a battle he was losing. Warmth started to creep into his cheeks. When he could not resist anymore, he turned to Elissa and smiled. He was surprised to see Elissa seem to shake herself awake, as if she had not realized that she was staring at him, before she looked away and blushed.
Lelianna, having seen the interaction which just took place, stood up and announced that she was going to take a bath after her long trip to the Keep. Alistair and Elissa watched Lelianna walk away. After she disappeared through a door, Alistair and Elissa looked at each other. Elissa broke eye contact first, and looked down at her hand which was playing with the grass. After a few moments of silence, Alistair placed his hand on Elissa's. Her heart skipping into overdrive, panic and excitement coursing through her veins, Elissa's eyes snapped to Alistair's. She watched as he took a long, steadying breath before saying "Elissa. You are absolutely safe here...Trust me."
Standing, Alistair reached out for Elissa's hand to help her up. Fear and hope swirled around her head, rendering her dizzy. All of her past mistakes, misjudgments and errors bombarded her, threatening to drown Elissa in indecision. Summoning all of her inner fortitude, everything which allowed her to survive her parents' deaths, the blight, and Alistair's betrayal, Elissa forcefully shoved it all aside. She was strong enough to survive this.
Taking Alistair's hand, she stood. Unable to get the words past the lump in her throat, Elissa nodded at Alistair before releasing his hand and heading to her office. Had she still been looking at Alistair's face, she would have seen the shock which flooded his face, only to be replaced with hopeful joy. She's willing to trust me?! How in the world did I accomplish that?! Alistair thought, before jogging to catch up to Elissa.
Silence fell over the garden Elissa and Alistair had just exited, before a voice interrupted it. "So you don't need my help anymore, then? Thanks for letting me know. It's not like it's easy to maintain this spell guys! Glad I could help. Don't thank me or anything!" Anders said to no one, his voice filled with sarcastic indigence.
A/N Sorry for my LONG absence. Life took over. But a boring Saturday afternoon brought me back. Hope that Elissa's change of heart wasn't too abrupt- that was what gave me writer's block in the first place. Comments, as always, are welcome. Thanks for reading!