Eleanor
Hey Len it's Robert your older brother you know the one you promised to call back and never did
His laughter was deep warm it clung to the night air. The remembrance of the sound brought tears flowing to my eyes as I lay on the lawn chair on the pool deck drinking.
I'm just calling because I haven't heard from you in awhile I know..
His voice was mixed with static & possibly hesitation, I swallowed against the lump in my throat.
I know your a big girl now you can take care of yourself
But that won't stop me from worrying about you
It won't stop any of us from worrying Mum, Dad, Liam and I we all love you
You can't keep going on like this Len It's dangerous sooner or later it'll catch up to you
Remember when we were kids
Remember what happened in Monaco when you and Liam were 11? You decided to play superhero?
Remember what I told you?
Every action has a consequence sooner or later Lenny this road your traveling down will end
I just don't want it to end tragically Lenny there's too many stories out there
We've lost too many iconic fabulous people too soon
Selena, Marilyn, Paul, Fulin the Shunzhi emperor, Skye McCole, River,
They were all brilliant and talented their all gone too soon
Please be careful sis I know I'm probably speaking to death ears
Your probably out living the life partying at the clubs in Paris hooking up with some hottie
Drinking and dancing shooting up throwing money away like it's nothing
Maybe tomorrow when you wake up and you sober up you'll listen to this maybe my words will sink in
Maybe you pick up the phone and call your older worried brother it wouldn't kill you to say
"Your right Robbie thank you
I love you"
There was his laugh again god he had such an amazing deep yet fun laugh. Tears welled up I took another drink the liquid burned my throat just like these tears burned my eyes.
Lenny I am going to say goodbye now but I just wanted to say that I love you
Princess you deserve the world never forget that or let anyone treat you less than Royalty
It's not just a tittle Len It's a way of life
If you remember nothing than remember I love you lil sis
I know you work it out Len your destined to be iconic
Be safe Len
Talk to you soon I hope
The line went dead my finger pressed repeat again just like it had twenty times before.
Tears fell down as I closed my eyes remembering that time.
The weather in Monaco during summer is always comfortable one reason I love going. This summer however Mum got it in her head that our annual vacation would become a charity event promo.
Mum was always working that pr stuff especially that summer when Robert turned 14. Robbie and Laim and I always hated it. This summer Robbie had stepped up to follow in Dad's footsteps he started to take over some of the royal duties.
So this left Liam and I to do Mum's work.
This day Mum had agreed to host a make a wish kid. His wish was to be a superhero and to meet his real life superhero Prince Liam and Princess Eleanor.
Mum had us pose for pictures with him and take him with us as we did royal duties to show him what life as a royal meant.
Liam always the adventurer thought it would be cool to take it up a notch.
So we took Noah the young eight year old boy with us on an adventure we ditched the guards and took him swimming in one of the biggest pools in all of Monaco we sneaked onto the property.
He loved feeling like a real kid being sneaky watching out for the police we swam and blasted music and played water games.
We learned a lot about Noah that day like he was from Sussex England he loved superman and soccer baseball and art and music. A normal kid who had to battle a horrible disease Acute lymphoblastic leukemia for two years.
We took him to archery, played darts had a dance party. We showed him pictures of our palace.
I danced with him probably the only time he danced with a princess. He was a cheeky lad and even managed to sneak a kiss on my lips in there kind of blew me away.
Noah was adorable so much so that Liam and I couldn't let him go back home without getting him to live his dream.
This kid was so brave and smart and funny.
So we called our friends Gemma, Ashook told them to dress in black clothing.
We took Noah a walk on the estate grounds back at our family rental home. While we were on top of the roof overlooking the pool. Ash and Gemma attacked us shoving Liam down trying to take my diamond necklace that my mum had given me on my Tenth Birthday.
Noah jumped to my rescue and fought Gemma and Ash off but in fighting them he lost his balance and slipped over the roof. I dove to catch him pulling him up Liam grabbed him and yanked him out and lost me in the process.
The paps got it all on camera and film we of course made the front page news ' Make a Wish Royally Screwed" Mum didn't stop yelling for weeks.
Robert tried to defend us telling Mum we were only kids having fun but she of course pointed out we didn't have the right to be just kids we were royal and that meant being on our best all the time.
I ran away crying but Robert chased me down finding me under the stars. He pulled me to him dancing with him.
What you did for that boy he'll never forget Princess
Did you see that look on his face?
I couldn't talk but I nodded trying to keep up with Robbie's big feet. My little hands felt like ducklings.
You made him feel like a superhero this kind of happiness and love
It will carry him through the rest of his life's journey
Robert spun me I still remember the feel of the breeze as it carried my long honey brown hair. My tiny legs spun and twisted as he dipped me.
No matter how long or short his road may be you made him feel loved,
Important like his feelings and dreams mattered no matter how young he is
Nothing can take that feeling away
Not pain nor sadness anger or fear not even death
Love will remember
Tears fell down as I chocked up sitting up like lighting the memory faded his smile his laughter lingered on but his vision. Boom it.. he was gone I was left alone shivering and sweating all at once as I chocked on my vodka.
I looked around scared where the hell was I? My breathing was fast and my eyes blurred. Calm yourself princess. Calm yourself I took another drink and swallowed it burned again. Yet it calmed me.
Phi and Liam I saw them smiling and getting all cozy on the steps they didn't notice me. Figures I am always the shadow that goes unnoticed.
Another memory flashed before me as I closed my eyes I was eight this time. Robert had found a giant spider and chased me around the gardens. I was screaming I hated bugs! Liam got in the mix and found a lady bug.
They chased me through the whole gardens laughing than I fell landing on some of Mum's prized Kadupul Flowers just as she was doing a photo shoot for Uk Gardens. They threw the bugs on me and I started screaming and crying jumping up and down like a toddler.
Mum never stopped screaming for a month over this one. Even though Robert took the blame she knew it was me and never let me forget it.
Robert was there to comfort me even though I was the only one grounded he didn't leave the palace gates the whole time playing with me whatever game I wanted. Yes I made him dress up like a princess revenge was sweet. He tolerated it with dignity and grace that only a true royal could.
He always stood up for me like a true prince he was one of a kind. I took another sip remembering when I was 12 and Liam was trying to get closer to Robert but I wanted to tag along. Liam pushed me calling me a beastly pest. Of course I cried and begged Robert not to leave me home alone with Mum.
Robert ever so gracefully lifted me up and placed me on his shoulder and easily replied that no true prince would leave a princess in distress.
He told Liam to go with their friends. Robert took me to a fancy dinner on top of a restaurant roof overlooking all of London. We watched the stars he taught me all of their names.
We took selfies as walked the streets of London we sat by the river and played games he bought me junk food we rode the ferris wheel he tickled me and tackled me as I stood up arms held high as we spun around on the ferris wheel. He called me crazy cool.
I remember we laughed and laughed.
I was 14 when he sneaked me out with this boy I liked. I remember how he threatened the chap that if he hurt his princess he'd never forget the pain of that mistake.
Leo was sweet and fun but he was so afraid of Robert by than the date was ruined.
I was 16 the first time he saw me in a formal dress that wasn't for some royal function but just for me. I was going to a school dance.
I remember he held me crying cause his baby sister had grown up before his eyes. Mum had rolled her eyes calling him an emotional sap. It didn't stop him.
My date broke my heart that night and I got drunk off my arse.
Robert found me and held me threating the wrath of England on that boy's head.
When I was sick he brought me flowers and played games watched movies with me and read to me.
We use to sit and talk all the time like when I was 15 and mum grounded me from flying to France with my girlfriends that weekend.
Robert took out a map and made me tack all the places I wanted to visit in my lifetime. He made me a promise we would see them all in our lifetime before we were too old.
Last year was so rough for me I can't even go into the details but that's when I really started screwing up my life. I quit university getting hard core into the drug scene starting to drink till I blacked out started sleeping around. I stopped caring I stopped feeling.
Robert tried so hard to get me to get help he took me to places but I quit each rehab he tried talking to me taking me away on vacations but I was so depressed and so far into the drugs nothing worked.
Even taking me to one of his best mates weddings as his date didn't do much for me it made me sadder watching her get married knowing I would never have true love like that.
Robbie danced with me kissing my forehead his words still haunt me.
"Break down the walls Lenny let heaven in"
Heaven what was heaven? I was so far in hell I don't think I could find it if you gave me a map. Besides with all the sins I had committed heaven wouldn't let it's pearly gates open for me.
Robert was wrong heaven didn't exist for bad girls like me.