All Bets Are Off

A consensus had been reached amongst the former Gundam Pilots-when Duo's smile lit up his eyes and the corners of his eyes crinkled with mirth, he was up to something and one of them was going to feel the brunt of the pain.

Today's victim just happened to be innocent Quatre. As three of the five former pilots leaned against Lady Une's office wall, Quatre, head hung in shame jacket zipped tight sat beside Duo, the American smiling like Jesse James after a successful robbery.

"Mr. Maxwell…" Lady Une started. Duo's toothy grin lit up his face.

"Yes?" Sighing at his delighted words, Lady turned to Heero.

"Heero, Trowa or Wufei can any of you tell me what exactly happened in the cafeteria regarding Mr. Winner?" The solemn agents glanced at each other, silently fighting over how would tell the tale. 'Alright Mr. Yuy, please enlighten me." Heero glared at Trowa, who smirked, then at Wufei who retorted with a more violent glare. "Sometime this century would be wonderful."

Stepping forward Heero glanced at Quatre, whose shoulders slumped forward. "It started a week ago, last Tuesday, we had all met for lunch." Une lifted a brow, for people who constantly change routines, routes and for some, which hand they wrote with, Tuesday was the one day every week that remained consistent. Tuesdays at twelve thirty-six, not a second sooner or later, all five pilots would simultaneously appear in the cafeteria, sometimes in pairs, sometimes separately but always at the same time. They would then proceed to join the line and all order the same exact meal, with the same exact drink. So far, I the year they had worked at Preventer they had never once changed their order, it was always the same: loaded Chicken tacos, heaping with onions, cheese, Verde salsa, avocado slices, shredded spinach, and refried beans with a side of Spanish style rice, and each got one ice cold Corona.

Well, that was wrong, only one Tuesday had they failed to have their normal lunch date. The ability to serve alcohol had come into question by the overseeing board members and the practice had been halted, for twenty minutes. Within the first five minutes, Preventer went on lockdown, computer systems held hostage, they barred anyone from entering or leaving the facility by deactivating access cards, phone lines and blocking cell phone signals. By the seven-minute mark, their demand had been broadcast via the intercom system. They wanted the beers returned to the menu. Fifteen minutes in they had reached out for a resolution via strategic meeting. As the board debated they gave their ultimatum: place the beers back on the menu or they would become very uncomfortable. At ninety-five degrees on an already sweltering summer day, the board members broke down and Wufei, as ambassador, was able to return to his office justice served and the next lunch meeting would return to normal.

So, for Lady Une to have all five in her office wasn't surprised, but the perpetrator was. As Heero continued with the beginning of the tale Lady Une felt a groan swelling in her chest. Holding her hand up cutting Heero off mid detail on how he preferred shredded lettuce than spinach on his taco, she looked to Duo. "Maxwell, just tell me what the hell happened."

Heero, thankful that his long-winded report was over resumed his leaning beside Trowa. Duo shifted, sitting up higher, "Of course. See, I've noticed over the last year that the lunch lady, she just seemed unhappy. Which is a shame because she's only in her twenties and well, look at me." He smiled, "I'm a happy guy I wanted to shed some light in her life. So, I'm sitting there watching her scooping rice onto fucking fine china and she's just miserable. Like," he turned to the three guys behind him, "you know she just never fucking smiled, ever."

Duo turned back to Lady Une, leaning forward in his chair. "How can I make her happy, I ask myself, what would make her smile. What could we do, to make her smile." Duo sighed, "so I look around, who can I get to help me make this woman smile. And I see her- Catherine Bloom."

"Catherine?" Lady Une lifted a brow if Duo's glee spread any more his face would split in half.

"Yes, Catherine." Leaning back, Lady Une folds her hands in her lap a motion she used when she was interested in what someone had to say. Duo's brows lift, and he looked back at the three agents as they moved to sit on the floor. "So, I see Catherine, sure Trowa was in the circus, but not long as Cathy was. She knows how to put on a show."

"Over the next week, Cathy and I plan on how we are going to make the lunch lady smile, to give her hope in her mundane, boring life."

Are you sure this is going to work Duo?"

Duo nodded looking at Cathy, one of Preventers newest agents. Having reluctantly followed Trowa after Noin extended a gracious offer, the performer had a look that fits right in with the espionage division. "You just need to convince Quatre, that's all."

Cathy frowned, "I know, but it feels bad in a way, but I know this will delight Donna to no end. She thinks Quatre is cute." Catherine frowned, "I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"I doubt that is what will happen." Duo smiled, no longer did he need to question which of the five would shine a light in this woman's life. "I just really need that CD."

Catherine, arms crossed, looked up at Duo's honest face. "How do you even know she likes the Backstreet Boys?"

For a split second, Duo's face faltered, but he recovered quickly, "Who doesn't?" Not convinced but willing to make someone's day better Catherine agreed.

"Whatever, Duo." Catherine turned away, "I'll have a copy on your desk at noon."

"Thanks, Cathy! You're the best."

"I know!" Duo clapped his hands rubbing them together, turning on his heel he made his way down the hall towards the elevator. Glancing at his watch he winced, he was supposed to meet Wufei in ten minutes in the garage. Being on-time to a mission with Heero was one thing, being on-time for a mission with Wufei meant you where late ten minutes ago.

"So, Catherine helped you plan…this?" Lady Une moved her hand in a circular motion over her desk about the cafeteria.

Duo shrugged," she helped with the CD. That's all, the rest was all me. See, I don't really know what Donna likes but Quatre does like the Backstreet Boys, but who doesn't."

"I like Nsync," Wufei muttered from his spot on the floor, Trowa and Heero wordlessly agreeing. Duo glared at them.

"Of course."

For the first time in the hour he had sat I the chair, Quatre looked up, brows pressed together. "I like the Beastie Boys, not Backstreet Boys." Shaking his head, he brought a hand to his temple instantly regretting the motion. Duo sighed.

"Well, I like the Backstreet Boys. Anyways, I hacked the PA system to play the song at precisely twelve fifty-nine. See, Quatre is always the first to drink his Corona, then its Wufei, Heero, and Trowa do it simultaneously and I'm the last. Now, the chicken was a spicy today, which was perfect for my plan. You should check that out though. By twelve forty, Quatre had downed his drink, normally he doesn't even finish it, so I'm feeling bad for Kat, and offer him another drink. Breaking tradition. But he's over there fanning his tongue, I'm feeling bad and Trowa goes to get him some water." Duo leans in, "He leaves the worm at the bottom of the bottle. Now, I had a few shots earlier in the day but, Quatre doesn't even look at it, he just drinks it straight."

Duo glances at Quatre who has returned to his bundled slump position. "Let's just say, Quatre is cut out for another line of work and you are severely underutilizing his hidden skills." With a sigh, Duo dives back into his long tale.

"You know Quatre, I heard Donna has a crush on you." Quatre frowned, head turning to look at the lunch lady, the other three paying little (Wufei) to no attention (Trowa and Heero) to Duo and Quatre. Quatre lifted a brow, eyes grazing over the bored, makeup-free face of Donna, the lunch lady.

"But," Quatre glanced to Trowa, then back to Duo. "Donna is nice and all, but she never smiles, and she always looks grumpy."

Duo nodded moving his fork around in his rice. "I know if only there was something we could do for her. Just to see her smile once." Duo looked down at his rice, eyes skimming over to his wrist to glance at the clock. Twelve forty-nine.

"Yeah, I bet she does have a nice smile." A crossed the table Wufei ate quietly, leaning in closer to better hear the pair. With Wufei tuned in Trowa and Heero had picked up that something was going on.

"I bet you could make her smile Kat."

Quatre shook his head, "no, how?"

"Maybe just talk to her. I heard she likes dancing, and you're the best one out of all of us." Quatre turned his head to Duo, anxiety ebbing in.

"That's a lot of pressure to put on a person."

Duo pursed his lips, Quatre was right, it was. Back peddling, Duo changed his tactics. "I understand Quatre, but just think of how satisfying it would be to give her a spot of light in her life. I would but, it wouldn't be the same."

Quatre's eyes lowered, ruminating over the lunch lady. With a nod, he looked at Duo, "Alright. How hard could just talking to her be."

Duo's eyes lit up, "hey, if your nervous to talk to her here." Duo reached into his jacket pocket pulling out a small flask. "A bit of liquid courage." Wufei stopped eating, Trowa and Heero silently focusing on Duo and Quatre the three immersing themselves in questions. Quatre inhaled then grabbed the flask twisting the cap off.

"What is this?"

"It's mostly scotch." Quatre's lips turned down as he sniffed it, then shrugged and lifted the flask to his lips taking a deep swig.

"That's horrible scotch." Duo quickly took the flask, tucking it into his jacket pocket. "Wish me luck."

Duo shook his head patting Quatre's shoulder, "you got this man. You can make her smile. We have faith in you." Quatre glanced back, limbs tingling as the alcohol flooded his system. The silent trio watched Quatre before turning back to Duo.

"Maxwell, what are you up to?" Wufei frowned, pushing his plate away from him.

Duo shook his head, "what? Me up to something?"

"What's in the flask?"

At this Duo smiled, "Tequila." If Trowa and Heero's faces fell any further Duo swore they would be on the floor. "He'll be fine. Just loosen him up a bit."

Loosen him up it did. Donna, eyes fixated on her cell phone didn't notice Quatre till he opened a bag of chips, the potato slices flying. Donna lifted a brow as he loosened his tie, the alcohol raising his temperature. Quatre, thirsty, reached for one of the many bottles of water nearby, panicking. Whatever scotch Duo gave him was strong, inhibitions are gone he popped a few buttons on his dress shirt and as he guzzled his water a stream ran down the side of his face attracting not only Donna's eyes but a few other Preventer Agents as well.

At exactly twenty-three minutes since the five agents entered the cafeteria, music emanated from the PA system. As Quatre, feeling more relaxed than ever loosened a few more buttons why was it so hot. Lady Une frowned in her seat.

"That was not a Backstreet Boys song."

Duo shrugged, "No, no it was not." Duo smirked, "When the sprinklers went off 'It's Raining Men,' just really fit."

Heero was the first to lunge at Duo, attempting to stop him from successfully set off the cafeteria sprinklers, but fell short when he and Wufei butted heads. Trowa's attempt to stop Quatre from dancing was a bust as the defacto leader slid crossed the floor, waving his uniform jacket in the air, thrusting his hips with each hard beat, Trowa ungracefully hitting the silver counter.

"You look too stuffy Trowa. Loosen up a bit." Quatre shouted as best as he could over the blaring song. Tugging on his friends' tie, Quatre tossed it into the air followed shortly by. In the back of the cafeteria, Duo ducked under a table trying his best to avoid Heero and Wufei as they chased him. The patrons and workers of the cafeteria watched eyes darting between the two shows. As the first shirt flew in the air, all phones turned to Quatre, perched on a table a hand slowly running over his chest down to unbuckle his belt. Trowa watched, mouth slightly open in shock.

"Whoo!" Duo shouted as he shook Wufei off his leg joining Quatre on a table further away, happily discarding his uniform. Heero and Wufei stopped their chase, "come on guys just join in. Look," Duo pointed to the normally grumpy, unhappy lunch workers. Each where smiling, from the show or the hijinks no one was sure.

Lady Une closed her eyes inhaling. "Mr. Maxwell, you do realize you commit a crime by setting off the fire sprinklers correct?" Duo nodded. "You do understand this cannot go unpunished?" Another nod. "Good." Turning her attention to Heero, Wufei, and Trowa she offered them a soft smile. "Agents go get changed out of your wet clothing and please take Mr. Winner to the medical bay for hydration. Mr. Maxwell, stay."

As the three stood, Lady Une looked over each one. Heero resembled an upset drenched cat, Wufei was straight up pissed and Trowa's shirt had been tore open and lacked buttons anymore, his jacket was worn by Quatre who, after throwing his into a crowd, was never going to get it back much like his shirt, tie and belt. As the four left, Wufei pulling the door closed roughly, Une turned to gaze at Duo who sat in nothing but a pair of boxers. Unsure of what was going to happen, Duo swallowed hard his Adam's apple bobbing. As Lady Une's eyes fell to him. The hard façade she provides the others immediately melted.

"Duo don't do that again." Lady stood stepping around her desk to her own uniform jacket that hug on a coat rack. "The sprinkler system is there for a fire."

Smirking Duo leaned into the chair, "we had a fire." The American wiggled his brows, "I have never questioned my own sexuality till today, I'll never see Quatre the same way."

Lady lifted her purse, hidden under her jacket, off the hook and returned to her desk. "How much was it again?"

"Three hundred I believe." Lady Une nodded pulling her wallet free, "so…" Lady Une hesitated, three hundred-dollar bills held out towards Duo. "How much you want to bet I can get Sally and Wufei together?"

Dropping the money on her desk she pointed a manicured nail towards the door. "No more bets Duo. Getting Donna to smile was the goal."

Dragging his wins towards him, Duo stood, "Well then I'll be on my way."

Lady Une nodded, "you are dismissed."