Rules Rule
121) You are not to start fires within the walls of Atlantis.
a. The city will dump about five thousand litres of water on your head.
b. The sound of the alarm is getting on everyone's nerve.
122) Don't:
a. steal things
b. sabotage things
c. damage things
d. hurt our guys
e. murder our guys and only kill those guys if you really have to.
f. Wraith are to be killed in all scenarios.
123) Canadians are not to be messed with.
(What is so funny about us anyway? – McKay)
(I dunno – Chuck)
124) Clipboards are not for surfing off the stairs.
a. Surfing is forbidden in this city.
b. Research has pointed out that clipboards work better when not broken.
125) Everyone is allowed three drops of sugar in their coffee.
Having too much energy is not necessarily a good thing. We'd like to keep Atlantis intact.
126) You can not fall out of a meeting without a very good excuse.
a. And Dr. Weir will be the judge of what's a good reason and what's not.
127) You can't invite relatives over to Atlantis.
(Innocent – McKay)
a. Jeannie Miller is an exception.
(Can my mom come? – Beckett)
b. Don't make me repeat this rule.
128) 'Don't ask don't tell' is not to be ignored!
a. Can you people stop running into my office with gossip and juicy details?
b. Thank you.
(You are welcome to run into my office – Sheppard)
129) Carrying around more than two guns is forbidden.
(Knives? – Ronon)
a. Eight knives.
(Fifteen – Ronon)
b. Ten knives.
(Thirteen – Ronon)
c. Nagging your leader is also forbidden!
130) The self-destruct mechanism is not a toy.
SGA-3, you're making Chuck age beyond his years.
(And my hair's gone grey – Chuck)
131) When confined to the Brick, you are not to touch the shield.
a. If you don't heed my warning, you'll be electrified.
b. Just so you know: I don't care if that happens.
(I do care – Weir)
(But I don't – Sheppard)
(Would people please stop posting rules on my account? – Weir)
132) You can't name Wraith prisoners
a. Bob
b. Steve
c. Todd
*All rights are reserved.
*And we'd like to keep confusion to a minimum.
(John! – Weir)
(All right, all right, that was the last one – Sheppard)
133) Don't sit down in the Ancient Control Chair unless you're told to.
Doctor Kusanagi let the toilets on the twelfth floor explode, Doctor Beckett almost killed General O'Neill and at the time Major Sheppard, Lt. Colonel Sheppard blew up entire hive ships and Doctor McKay activated the self destruct mechanism.
(Grrr – Chuck)
(Oh, suck it up – McKay)
134) Ordering pizza for fun is not funny.
a. And therefore forbidden.
b. Ristorante is still bothering the President with confused letters and phone calls.
135) Don't leave your stuff in the hallways.
a. People tend to stumble over everything that crosses their path.
b. Red trolleys don't match our green walls.
136) The girls' bathroom is not accessible for guys.
(Which one's that again?- Sheppard)
(It's the one you always use – McKay)
137) You are not allowed to speak a language other than English when you're on the clock.
(If I stop speaking Czechisch, they won't like me anymore – Zelenka)
(Who? – McKay)
(Théy - Zelenka)
(The same guys who want me to be immortal? – Beckett)
(? – Sheppard)
(Just wait 'till you change your hair, they'll be all over you – Beckett)
138) Don't leave your tray on the table when you're finished.
a. You won't get desert.
139) Trade off-world is only possible when the natives agree to the deal.
Sergeant Janssen stole a golden tablet on MX7-233. Apparently, to keep thieves from stealing again, their hands are cut off on that planet.
a. Janssen is still alive.
b. Doctor Beckett is inhuman.
(It was not that hard a surgery – Beckett)
140) Hunting off-world is forbidden.
(? – Ronon)
(This goes for you, too, Ronon – Weir)
(You do realize that now he's going to hunt on Atlantis? – Sheppard)
(And that by a lack of animals, he'll take humans – McKay)
TBC...