Tainted And Torn Chapter 7: The First Mission, a Death Note + D.Gray-Man Crossover fanfic

Chapter 7: The First Mission

Kanda led Jaz to their room, mentally wondering how she could be so exhausted all of a sudden. He had no way of knowing that it was because she was working so hard to disguise her true emotions from everyone. She stripped down to her underwear, seeming not to realize that Kanda was in the room and was now totally scandalized. She let her hair out of its braid and let it tumble over her shoulders, a white waterfall, and then crawled into bed. "What are you doing?" Kanda asked.

Jaz looked at him, fatigue showing in her now-unguarded eyes. "I need sleep, Kanda. Just... a little... nap..." she mumbled as she gracefully fell onto the pillow, her eyes sliding shut. Kanda couldn't help thinking that she looked like a goddess, with her white hair spread in a halo around her and her flawless skin. He averted his eyes and pulled the blankets over her immobile body, covering up her exposed body. He noticed a difference in her expression. It was peaceful, not plagued by the stress of reality. He too stripped down to his underwear - he never wore pajamas - and he got into the other bed. Sleep overtook him, but he was pulled away from it by sounds that were coming from the other bed. He sat up, his eyes adjusting to the pitch black darkness, and looked over at Jaz. She was shaking and writhing, and the blankets had been kicked down until she was totally uncovered. "No, BB, no." she whimpered, her voice barely more than a whisper. Kanda's eyes widened when he realized that whatever she had done to hide her scars had been driven away by the nightmare, and they were revealed in all their horrible glory. They were everywhere, covering every inch, and Kanda shuddered at the pain this must have caused her.

"How is she so quiet?" Kanda whispered. He exited his bed and walked to hers, wondering what he could do to help. He didn't know what to do, because the only person whose nightmares he had ever dealt with were his own. He wasn't used to comforting people.

"Someone, please." she murmured. "Don't let him do this to me, not again." Kanda stood, watching her, feeling like he was caught in a trap. "Kanda, Kanda, help. Help me."

Those words pushed him into action. He grabbed her shoulder and gently shook her. "Jaz, wake up." When she didn't respond, he shook her harder and raised his voice a little. "Jaz, it's okay."

Her eyes opened and she stared up at him. Her breath was coming in harsh pants, her terror clear in her eyes. He could see her trying to push it back down, but it just wasn't working. Instead, it was getting worse, rising to the surface faster than she could push it back down. She lunged forward and slung her arms around him, pulling him down beside her. He stiffened, and Jaz buried her face in his neck and sobbed, unable to hold her tears back any longer. "Six years, why do I still have nightmares after six years?" she mumbled, so quiet he almost couldn't hear her.

"It's okay. I'm here." he said after a few moments, unable to take his mind off of the way she had called out for him, a man she barely knew, and in her sleep, no less.

Her arms tightened around him and she sobbed harder. Kanda, not knowing what else to do, stroked her hair gently. "Why didn't they look for me? I was gone for three years, so why did I have to have Karma get me out? Why didn't L, or Matt, or Mello look for me? Why did they leave me with him?"

Kanda growled at that statement. They had just left her behind? No one deserved to be forgotten just because they had been kidnapped. It just wasn't right. But, he didn't know for sure that they hadn't looked for her. "You don't know that for sure. Maybe they just couldn't find you. They're your family, right?" Jaz nodded against his neck. "Family doesn't just give up. If they really love you, then they will stop at nothing to find you."

"Kanda..." was all that Jaz said before she broke down once again.

Kanda figured that he needed to calm her down. He remembered that his mother had sung him a lullaby to calm him down whenever he cired, so he decided to try.

(A/N: this is the translation of Lacrimosa by Kalafina)
*The moonlight, which exposes sadness*
*Coldly illuminated*
*Despair and the future*
*That are friendly with each other*
*Within the darkness*

*Turning the secret that you gave me*
*Into a sign*
*I go throught the silence*
*Of the pale night*

*Lacrimosa*
*Once more, I want to love*
*The glaringly bright world*
*That shattered in the distance*
*And vanished*
*Hide your dream in your eyes*
*Until tears come falling*
*Onto your sullied heart*

*The phantom carriage parts the darkness*
*And goes toward*
*Where the light is*
*The trap known as dreams*
*Lures us toward the flames*

*No shout of any sort*
*Will reach*
*The merciless gods*
*Above the sky*
*Lacrimosa*

*We'll be the blazing firewood*
*And seem to burn away*
*The sky someday*

*Lacrimosa*
*I want to fearlessly love*
*The blood-soaked world*
*That I was born in*
*Rather than being forgiven*
*Forgive and believe in me*

*Count the number*
*Of lachrymose days*
*On the sullied earth*

Kanda finished the song with his eyes closed, immersed in memories of his mother, and when he opened them he found that Jaz was fast asleep. He tried to slip out of her arms, but her brow furrowed in discomfort and she clung to him tighter. He stopped moving and she relaxed. A rare smile graced his face at her childish behavior. So this was what she was truly like, without the horrors of her life to make her sad. He decided that he would protect her, no matter what. Even if she didn't need him, he would be there. There was no way he would let someone so innocent be hurt any more than she already had. She was worth it. With that thought on his mind, he drifted to sleep with Jaz cradled to his chest.

Jaz woke up to her twin pounding on the door to the room she shared with Kanda. "Hmm..." she murmured sleepily, her eyes fluttering open. "What do you want?" she mumbled just loud enough for Allen to hear.

"We need to get going! We're here on a mission, remember? Whatever you two are doing in there, stop it and meet us in the lobby."

Jaz groaned. "Okay, whatever." She turned her attention to her warm bed and froze, a blush making its way across her cheeks. Kanda was hugging her to him, and they were both only wearing their underwear. "Um, Kanda?" she asked quietly, not wanting to wake him up but at the same time needing to.

"What is it?" he asked, not opening his eyes.

"I, um, well, I kind of need you to let me go." she said, nearly whispering from embarrassment.

Kanda opened his eyes and looked at her. His eyes widened and his face flushed cherry red, and he immediately let her go. "Sorry." he muttered, his face going redder with each syllable.

"I'm, um, I'm going to get ready." Jaz said, hurriedly getting out of the bed and retrieving everything she would need for her shower, including her uniform. She locked herself in the bathroom and got ready as quickly as possible. After she was done, she exited the bathroom so Kanda could have his turn. She found all her weapons and put them where they belonged. Kanda emerged fully dressed, and they walked to the lobby in awkward silence. "Hey, Kanda." I finally said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for last night. I've never really had anyone there to comfort me before. It was really kind of you."

Kanda grunted. "No problem. I used to have nightmares, too." Jaz looked at him in surprise, but she didn't pry. If he wanted to tell her what he had nightmares about, he would.

Lavi, Allen, and Lenalee were waiting for them in the lobby, all three in full uniform. "Took you long enough." Lavi said brightly. "What were you guys even doing?"

"Sleeping." Jaz said, hiding her blush as Kanda did the same. She looked at him and met his eyes, and they both blushed harder than ever and looked in different directions.

The three shared a glance, and Lavi grinned evilly. "Oh?" he asked, drawing out the syllable. "Just sleeping, huh?"

Jaz glanced at Kanda, who nodded slightly. "I had a nightmare, and Kanda helped calm me down. Simple as that."

Lavi sobered. "Oh. Well, in that case, I guess I won't tease you guys."

"You better not." Jaz said. "Unless you want us both to kick your butt at the same time."

Lavi paled. He remembered watching their duel, and he immediately decided that he didn't want to get on both of their bad sides at once. "Let's go. We've got to catch a train."

Jaz walked up to the receptionist. "Nous vérifier." (We're checking out.)

She smiled. "Très bien. Avez-vous apprécié votre séjour?" (Very well. Did you enjoy your stay?)

Jaz nodded. "Oui, je l'ai fait. Merci pour votre hospitalité." (Yes, I did. Thank you for your hospitality.)

"Ce fut un plaisir. Vous êtes les bienvenus revenir ici tout moment." (It was my pleasure. You are welcome back here any time.)

"C'est très gentil de votre part. Au revoir!" (That is very kind of you. Goodbye!) With that, they left.

Lavi walked by Jaz up in front, while the others stayed back a little bit. "I didn't know you could speak French."

Jaz smirked, remembering the look on Kanda's face when she had told him all about how many languages she could speak. "I speak at least 70 other languages. I also have a photographic memory, and I know a lot of different kinds of combat."

Lavi nodded. "That's surprising, considering you aren't a Bookman."

Suddenly, Jaz had an idea. She smirked, her eyes glinting savagely. "Let's freak them out by carrying on a conversation in some obscure language that they don't know."

Lavi got that same look on his face. "That's an amazing idea."

She figured that Lavi would know any language I started speaking, so she lapsed into Japanese. "あなたはどのように多くの言語を話すことができる？" (How many languages can you speak?) she asked him.

Lavi considered the question. "それは実際には本当に良い質問です。私は、世界のほぼすべての言語を話すことができるので、私は百の上だと思います。" (That's actually a really good question. I can speak almost all the languages in the world, so I guess over one hundred.)

She nodded. "どのくらい時間があなたを取るのですか？" (How long did it take you?)

He looked a little sheepish. "私はまだ学んでいる。" (I'm still learning.)

"さて、あなたはかなり流暢なようです。" (Well, you seem pretty fluent.)

"私は日本に堪能だからうん、でもそれはただです。" (Yeah, but that's just because I'm fluent in Japanese.)

Jaz decided to test him. She switched to Greek. "Είστε σε άπταιστα Ελληνικά?" (Are you fluent in Greek?)

"Ναι, είμαι πολύ καλά." (Yes, I'm fluent.)

Jaz furrowed her brows, concentrating. "אוקיי, ומה עם עברית?"(Okay, what about Hebrew?)

"אני לא רהוט כמו, אבל אני בסדר בדיבורו."(I'm not as fluent, but I'm okay at speaking it.)

"Can you stop it?" Allen exploded.

"Stop what?" Jaz asked innocently, inwardly gloating because her plan had worked.

"Stop talking in different languages! What were you even speaking, anyway?"

"Hmm, let's see." she said, tapping her lip as if she were thinking about something."There was Japanese, Greek, and Hebrew."

"That's insane! Stop it!"

Kanda chuckled, surprising everyone except for Jaz. She smirked at him, pushing her awkward wakeup call to the back of her mind. "It's obvious that Jaz planned that." he said.

"Planned what?" Lenalee asked, totally confused.

"She wanted to freak you guys out." Kanda elaborated.

Allen turned to her. "Are you serious?"

Jaz gave him her signature smirk. "I love messing with people. It's my favorite thing to do besides some of my other hobbies."

"What are your other hobbies?" Allen asked.

"Well, I love reading, writing, singing, listening to music, shopping, eating, sleeping,and learning."

Lavi looked curious."If you love sleeping so much, then why are you always hyped up on caffeine and sugar?"

Jaz moved her gaze to the ground. "I should probably rephrase that. I used to love sleeping. That was six years ago."

"What happened?" Lavi asked, almost reverently.

Jaz looked him in the eye. "The nightmares started."

Lenalee placed a hand on Jaz's arm gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jaz took a deep breath, steeling herself to relive the story once again. "I might as well. Everybody else knows. If you don't hear it from me, you're going to hear it from them. It would be better for everyone if you got the real story."

"Wait, you don't have to tell us." Allen said. "I know it must be hard for you, and if it causes you pain then don't do it."

Jaz smiled sadly. "I've been through way too much to be pained by a simple story." She began her tale. "I think it all started when I was in kindergarten. That was when the story got out. Apparently, I was a witch because I had this stupid birthmark. A bunch of kids cornered me and beat me up. It didn't only happen once. It happened every day, sometimes more than twice a day. The nightmares weren't so bad back then. I hid it from my parents, until it put me in the hospital. My parents drew me out of school and hired tutors, and everything was fine until my eleventh birthday." She paused, gathering her courage. She gritted her teeth and tilted her head a little, moving on. "That night, a cult set my house on fire, killing my parents. They almost got me, too, but I jumped off the balcony and ran to town. It was a few miles. I met Mr. Whammy at the police office, and he took me to England with him."

"Where did you live before?" Lavi asked.

"America. Well, anyway, everything was okay for three years. L taught me how to avoid the nightmares, and I made some friends. Then, on my fourteenth birthday, I went to a club with Matt and Mello. On the way home, I saw someone who looked like L. Turns out, he was actually BB. He kidnapped me and took me to a warehouse, where he tortured me along with the surviving members of the cult who had set my house on fire. It went on for three years."

"How bad was it?" Allen whispered. Kanda had been silent the whole time.

"They tortured me until I passed out. Every day, and then Road would take care of me. After I woke up, it would start all over again. I stopped talking, and I was silent for three years, until I finally talked to Karma. She got us out of there, and then Lenalee found us. The nightmares are horrible, but I endure them because I need my strength."

"Is there any way to get rid of the nightmares?" Lenalee asked.

"Yeah." Jaz said. "I can stay awake until I am so exhausted that when I finally pass out I just can't dream."

Lenalee shook her head. "That's not healthy. Are there any other ways?"

Jaz snuck a glance at Kanda before answering. "Well, it definitely helps to have someone, um, be there with me. It comforts me and keeps the nightmares away."

Lavi, observant Bookman that he was, didn't fail to notice the way Jaz looked at Kanda before answering. Oh. he thought. Did Kanda hold her last night? Is that why they're being so weird around each other? He refrained from voicing his thoughts aloud. "It's good that you have ways to get rid of them." he said instead.

"We're here." Kanda said, drawing their attention to the fact that they had reached the train station.

They bought their tickets and boarded, going to a private compartment in the back of the train. "Hey, Yuu." Lavi said.

"What do you want, Baka Usagi?" Kanda snapped, irked at the use of his name.

"Can I braid your hair?" Lavi asked.

"Absolutely not!" Kanda cried, appalled. He placed a hand on his dark hair protectively.

Lavi pouted. Jaz smirked at his actions and freed her hair from its own braid. "Hey, Lavi, you can braid mine." she said, showing him how it fell down below her hips.

"Are you serious?" Lavi asked.

"Yeah." Jaz said, sitting down in such a way that Lavi could easily reach her hair.

Lavi ran his fingers through her white locks. "It's so soft." he breathed in awe. "How do you get it like that?"

Jaz shrugged. "I don't know. It's always been like that, so I just take care of it."

"Wow."

"Hey, Jaz." Lenalee said.

"Yeah?" Jaz answered.

"Will you sing for us again?"

Jaz was surprised by the request. "Yeah!" the others chorused.

"Sure, I guess." Jaz said, thinking of a song she could sing. She decided on Believe by Hollywood Undead.

*I can't believe*
*That when I breathe*
*There's something good*
*Inside of me*
*Just one good thing*
*Inside of me*
*So close to me*
*That memory*
*Of that one good thing*
*Inside of me*
*Just one good thing*
*Inside of me*

*If I went out the back door*
*Nobody would stop me*
*But where would I go*
*Cause I ain't never had a real home*
*So what do I know*
*So I could keep running*
*Hide until they find me*
*But what would that do*
*If they could only know what I knew*
*What would it prove*
*I should've seen*
*The writing on the wall*
*Instead I'm left to fall*
*Cause the longer I'm away*
*The more we stay the same*
*Looking back where*
*I thought I knew it all*
*Instead I'm left to fall*
*Did I throw it all away*

*Don't you know, little boy*
*They'll lay you to waste, man*
*Little do they know*
*Every song is a lifespan*
*Never taken one*
*But I'm taking my last chance*
*To hold all we know*
*And let go with both hands*
*Oh, don't you know*
*That clouds are made from concrete*
*Right through the stone*
*Can you hear my heartbeat*
*Beats through my bones*
*Like the memory left me*
*Not for a second or a minute*
*When I dream*
*I wanna go home*
*Like the home that I keep*
*You can dig six*
*Or sixty-six feet*
*We can live forever*
*Still, your misery missed me*
*Hold this song together*
*With a bottle of whiskey*
*Look into the mirror*
*At the lines that time drew*
*See 'em painted white*
*And the eyes that shined through*
*My heart beats*
*Heavy in an open chest*
*And I wanna say goodbye*
*But there's nobody left*

*I broke it all*
*And I'm put to the test*
*Put your hand to mine*
*And feel this emptiness*
*There's no beat in my chest*
*Cause there's nothing left*
*No, it ain't goodbye*
*It's a last caress*
*What's another dream*
*You can hardly sleep*
*Can you believe*
*Bad things only happen to me*
*God knows one day*
*You will finally see*
*That scars will heal*
*But were meant to bleed*
*Do you realize*
*I would lie for you*
*Please have my last breath*
*I would die for you*
*I know I'm no good*
*But my heart beats true*
*You know I'm gonna fight*
*Though I might be scared to lose*
*You took me in*
*And I f***ed it up again*
*An empty promise*
*No, I won't pretend*
*Cause in the end*
*We need someone to solve 'em*
*Nobody can fix me*
*If I'm part of the problem*

"That was pretty, but sad." Lavi said.

Jaz shrugged. "I guess so, but it's one of my favorite songs."

"Another!" Allen demanded.

"You really want to hear another one?" Jaz asked.

"Yeah. You're a really great singer."

"Okay." Jaz said. She started singing Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab.

*Get out your guns*
*Battle's begun*
*Are you a saint*
*Or a sinner*
*If love's a fight*
*Then I shall die*
*With my heart*
*On a trigger*

*They say before*
*You start a war*
*You better know*
*What you're fighting for*
*Well, baby, you are all*
*That I adore*
*If love is what you need*
*A soldier I will be*

*I'm an angel with a shotgun*
*Fighting 'till the war's won*
*I don't care if heaven won't take me back*
*I'll throw away my faith, babe*
*Just to keep you safe*
*Don't you know you're everything I have*
*And I wanna live, not just survive, tonight*

*Sometimes to win*
*You've got to sin*
*Don't mean I'm*
*Not a believer*
*And Major Tom*
*Will sing along*
*Yeah, they still say*
*I'm a dreamer*

*Oh, oh*
*Oh, whoa*
*Oh, oh*
*Whoa, whoa*

*I'm an angel with a shotgun*
*Fighting 'till the war's won*
*I don't care if heaven won't take me back*

The train stopped, and they had reached their destination. "Okay, here's the plan." Lenalee said. "We get in, get out, and try our hardest not to draw attention to ourselves. If the Noahs really are here, then we cannot afford to do any unnecessary fighting."

"Okay." Everyone agreed, but Jaz still remembered Road's request: to bring Debitto back alive and no longer a Noah. She had no idea how she would do it, but she would do it somehow, for Road. They entered the tunnel that would take them to the Innocence.

"Is that it?" Jaz asked quietly, motioning to the green glow that was coming from just ahead of them.

"Yeah." Kanda replied.

They entered the room, and suddenly they were swarmed by Akuma. "It's a trap!" Jaz yelled, even as she was attacked from behind. The blast threw her forward, and she laid immobile as her body flushed the Akuma poison out of her system.

"Jaz!" Allen yelled.

Jaz was picked up by her hair and raised off the ground, brought face-to-face with a burly, muscled Noah. "Oh, looks like I caught one of the pests." his deep voice rumbled.

"Release me right now!" she demanded.

The Noah scoffed. "No, I'd rather see what makes you tick."

Jaz's eyes widened. "NO!" she screamed, drawing the attention of her comrades. "NO MORE TORTURE!"

"JAZ!" All four others tried to get to her, but they were held back by the Akuma.

Jaz realized that she only had one option. She was unable to hold back the tears at the horrible thought of what she was about to do. "Aw, the pest is crying!"

Jaz had no time to waste. She reached into her bra and took out a knife, slicing it through her hair like it was butter.She dropped and hit the ground running, quickly slicing the Noah into a bloody mess. She looked at her hair, which was still in the braid. It was now red with blood, and she choked on air. It had taken so long for her to get her hair like that. Angry, she just bore down on the Akuma, slicing left and right and dropping them faster than flies.Suddenly, she saw Jasdero and Debitto. She took off sprinting at them. Debitto looked up at her just in time for her to tackle both of them. She started glowing brightly as the red mark swirled around, moving like a snake under her skin. The bright light drew everyone's attention, and the Akuma all retreated. Jaz retracted her Innocence and placed her hands on the stigmata that decorated both boys' foreheads. She didn't know how she knew what to do, but she did. As soon as the small marks on her knuckles touched the stigmata, the light exploded, filling the whole cavern with a bright, heavenly light. But Jaz was feeling anything but heavenly. Her body kept changing into that of a Noah's. She flickered back and forth, gritting her teeth as she cried tears of blood. She refused to make a sound.

Kanda crouched in front of her. "What's going on?" he asked gruffly.

Jaz looked up at him, and he drew back slightly. The raw pain was starkly visible in her eyes, and she was truly crying blood. Her white hair was short and wild, but it kept flashing to black and back. Her skin rapidly darkened to ash gray, just as quickly paling until it was her normal complexion. He was amazed at how she didn't make a sound, even though this was so horribly painful for her. "Don't... touch... me..." she ground out, narrowing her eyes as she could no longer hold back screams of pain. She groaned and flung her head back as she realeased an inhuman howl that seemed to last forever. As the heartwrenching sound died out, all physical evidence of the Noah's, such as the dark skin and raven hair, bled away, leaving Jaz physically exhausted. She swayed and collapsed just as Lavi arrived to catch her.

"Jaz! Jaz!" Allen cried as he hurried over to them. He noticed that Debitto and Jasdero were stirring. "Hey." he growled, lifting both teens up by the fronts of their shirts. Jasdero looked terrified, while Debitto was just shocked. "What the heck did you guys do to her?" Allen nearly yelled.

Jasdero shook his head, his eyes wide, and Debitto gasped out an answer. "She channeled the Noahs out of our bodies and took it into hers."

Allen drew back. "What?" Lavi looked down at Jaz's face, trying to find something different about her. He failed. Other than the dried blood that made tracks down her face, she looked completely normal.

Kanda stood, clutching his left arm. He had injured it in the fight when he had been caught off guard by an Akuma. The monster had swiped a bladed appendage at the back of his head, slicing through the string that kept his hair tied back. He had turned and swiped Mugen at his attacker, but not before the blade had inflicted a deep gash in his arm. "Is it still inside her?" he asked, glaring at the two in a very threatening way.

Debitto shook his head. "No, she released it as soon as she gave off that light."

"How did she know how to do that?" Lavi murmured staring at his crush's twin in awe. It was odd. Whenever he looked at Jaz, he could see Allen. Allen shared her feminine features, slim build, and blindingly white hair. They were both leanly muscled and strong. Although it did make sense; they were twins after all.

Lenalee peered over Lavi's shoulder at the unconscious girl. "I think it has something to do with the mark."

Gunshots rang out, sending the group scattering as each person looked for shelter. Well, all except for Kanda. The samurai stood tall, not even flinching as a bullet nearly hit him. He glared at the others. "Get out of here! I'll hold them off for a s long as it takes you to get to safety."

Lenalee protested. "There's way too many of them, Kanda. Besides, you're wounded."

Kanda looked at her, his gaze lacking the contempt it held for everyone else except Jaz. "Since when have I ever lost?"

The rest of the group gave in, seeing his point. "Be careful, BaKanda." Allen said.

"Che." Kanda replied, his hair whipping around him as a bullet exploded the sand beneath him. He flipped through the air, landing as graceful as ever.

The others took off running, needing to get Jaz to a safe place. They made sure to stay off the main streets, not wanting to draw any more attention to themselves than was necessary. Just as they reached the train station, Jaz came to. "What happened?" she groaned, holding a hand to her forehead. The light pounding behind her eyes promised a killer headache later on.

Lavi looked down at her with concern. "You exorcised the Noahs out of Jasdero and Debitto and then passed out. After that, we were attacked and Kanda stayed behind to hold them back until we got you to a safe place."

Jaz froze, her eyes widening. "He WHAT?" she exploded, fighting to get out of Lavi's grip. "No, no, no, no!"

Lavi tightened his hold on her, trying to get her to calm down. Unfortunantely, the action did quite the opposite. "What's wrong, Jaz?" Lavi asked, trying not to drop the writhing girl.

"He has no idea what he's getting into!" she shrieked, finally breaking free. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she took off running. She wound through the alleyways at a breakneck pace, not slowing until she finally reached the cavern where they had left Kanda. The sight that met her eyes made her blood run cold. Kanda was on the defensive, holding back three Akuma. His arm was dripping a steady flow of blood because he was too weak for the Lotus Spell to work properly, and his attention was focused solely on the three Akuma that he could see. What he didn't see was the Akuma behind him, ready to strike the killing blow. With a cry of rage, Jaz launched herself into the air, spinning in a tight circle as her reactivated Innocence shredded everything in her path. She drilled right through the Akuma behind Kanda, landing just as all of them simultaneously exploded. She whirled on Kanda and stalked toward him, her hair standing on edge from the level of rage she was experiencing. A resounding crack echoed around the cavern. Kanda's dazed expression changed to angry shock as he held his rapidly reddening cheek. "You idiot! Do you have a death wish?" Jaz yelled at him. "You can't play the hero all the time, Kanda!" Kanda opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jaz cut him off. "You're in no condition to be fighting! You could've at least let Allen and Lenalee stay behind to help you!"

"Well, it's all over now!" Kanda finally exploded.

Jaz went to slap him again, but she stopped herself. "That's just it, Kanda! We're not safe yet! Do you have any idea what you're up against?" Kanda shook his head in confusion. "That's exactly why you can't go jumping into fights like this! The second I exorcised those Noahs, their strength went to the nearest Noah!"

Kanda stiffened as a rumbling laugh came from behind him. "The pest's right." The samurai turned to find himself face-to-face with the Noah who had threatened to torture Jaz. He turned back to his white-haired comrade and was shocked to find a look of extreme rage upon her delicate features.

"How dare you." she growled, her voice menacing and cold. The Noah actually stepped back. How could such a little thing exude such an aura? "How dare you threaten my friends, my nakama?" she asked, her voice slowly growing into a roar as she lunged at him, protecting Kanda. She moved with speed equivalent to Kanda's own, if not faster. Suddenly, she slowed. The Noah grinned sadistically and lunged forward just as Kanda yelled out, but then Jaz dove out of the way, slicing his chest with her claws. She rolled and came up on one knee in front of Kanda, taking Mugen from his unresponsive hands. She spun and drove the katana into the Noah's back, burying it to the hilt. She withdrew it just as fast as she had stabbed it in. The Noah fell to the ground, gasping and sputtering like a fish out of water.

Jaz returned Mugen to its rightful owner. She looked at Kanda with something akin to pain in her eyes. She silently grabbed his wrist and drew his uninjured arm over her shoulders, supporting him as he deactivated Mugen. Kanda returned her gaze and noticed something. She had a thin cut on her right cheekbone. It must have been deep, because it was bleeding profusely. "You're hurt." he grunted, wiping away some of the blood.

Jaz pressed a hand to her cheek. "I am?" she asked, drawing her now-red hand away. "Huh. I never even noticed. I was more worried about you."

Kanda regarded her silently as a question occured to him. "Why?" he asked. "Why are you more worried about me than you are about your own safety?"

Jaz gave him a pained smile. "You're one of the only friends I've ever had in my life. L, Allen, and Near are my brothers, and Karma's practically my sister. But other than Matt, Mello, and Road, you, Lavi, and Lenalee are my only friends."

Kanda looked at her in surprise. "I'm your friend?"

"I know you might not think consider me to be your friend, but you're the only person who has ever been able to get me back to sleep after a nightmare. And that's saying a lot, considering I barely met you. Therefore, you are my friend." Kanda was silent, mulling over her words. After a few minutes of silence, Jaz spoke again. "Kanda, do you want to die?"

Caught off guard by the question, Kanda couldn't stop himself from answering honestly. "Yes."

Jaz looked at him sadly, understanding clear in her eyes. "You shouldn't. I don't know what you've been through, but whether you like it or not, you have friends. And, as your friend, I'm telling you that you're needed."

Kanda looked at her sharply, not believing a single word that came out of her mouth. "I'm not needed."

Jaz stopped walking and shoved him up against the wall, being careful not to injure him any more than he already was. "You listen to me, Yuu Kanda. You. Are. Needed. The Order needs you, the world needs you, Allen and the others need you, even I need you." Kanda gasped at the last part of her statement. "I don't know when it started, or even when I noticed it, but sometime between today and yesterday, I found that I cannot imagine a world without you in it. You're one of the only people who seems to understand me and what I went through the past seventeen years of my life."

Kanda stared at her in shock. "You really think that?"

Jaz drew back, running a hand through her hair and making it wilder than it already was. "Of course I think that. I know exactly how you feel. The emptiness, the loneliness, the need to have it all just end. Believe me, I know."

"If you know how I feel, then why did you stop me? It's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?" Kanda asked in a low voice as Jaz wrapped his arm around her shoulders again and started walking.

"No matter how many times I considered suicide, I never actually went through with it. Why? Was it because I was a coward? No. It was because I realized that no matter how bad it gets, no matter how much it seems like you're fighting a losing battle, there will always be someone counting on you, someone who needs you. And if you don't have that, then I'm telling you right now. If you don't have anything left to live for, then I'll be the one to hold you back from the edge. Because someone who has fought as hard as you, who would die so that their friends can get away from danger safely, someone like that deserves to live." Jaz looked away with a slight blush on her face. Those words had sounded almost... romantic.

The two continued on in silence until they reached the others. "Jaz!" Allen yelled, running toward them. "Kanda! What happened?" he asked, trying to take Kanda from Jaz.

Jaz shot him a look. "It's fine, Allen. I can handle him on my own."

"Yeah, why'd you run off like that, Jaz?" Lavi asked.

"I was worried about Kanda." she replied shortly.

Lenalee looked at the red handprint on Kanda's face suspiciously. "Well, now you know that he can handle himself." she said.

Kanda interrupted what he knew was going to escalate into a fight. "Let's just go."

"Okay." Jaz said, helping him onto the train. Once the train started moving, Jaz got a first aid kit from one of the overhead compartments. She silently cut Kanda's sleeve away so that she wouldn't push the fabric up over the wound before bandaging it carefully.