CHAPTER 7 – "Exes"

Sorry, folks. There were a few typos in the chapter and I just fixed them (such as the timing: December and definitely not September). Big thanks to my awesome readers for pointing them out :)

ITALY
DECEMBER 2013

(Scene: Marshall and Lily's apartment. Ted, Tracey, Marshall, Lily, Barney and Robin are there along with newborn Daisy and Marvin.)

Future Ted: Kids, in late December 2013, your cousin Daisy was born. All of us flew over to Rome to be there for Marshall and Lily's best times of their life.

Ted: (holds Daisy) This girl is going to be a heartbreaker.

Barney: It's so cool that she was born in Rome. That's, like, not America. I have a niece who was born in not-America!

Robin: (smiling) And a wife who was born in not-America as well.

Barney: Well yeah, sure if you still think of Canada as a country. (sniffs)

Marshall: Thank you guys so much for flying out here.

Lily: Yeah, it means a lot to us.

Tracey: Oh come on, are you kidding? It's our major pleasure.

Robin and Ted: (at the same time, while hand-saluting) Major Pleasure. (They both laugh afterwards)

Lily: (to Tracey) Ugh, don't look so surprised. These two have this crazy, weird history together.

(Tracey and Ted trade looks)

Future Ted: Unfortunately, that was a bad timing for Lily to say. Because just 24 hours earlier…

24 Hours Earlier

(Scene: Airplane. Tracey is sitting in the middle, between Ted and Lewis.)

Tracey: (awkwardly) Ted, this is Lewis. Lewis, Ted. (points to both of them)

Lewis: Hi. (offers a handshake)

Ted: (shaking his hand) Hi. Ohh, tough handshake. You work out much, Lewis?

Tracey: (to Ted) Stop. Please don't embarrass us, and mostly yourself.

Lewis: You're Ted Mosby the architect, right?

Ted: Yes in fact, Lewis, you are right. I have pretty much of a reputation. I designed the GNB building about a year ago and "Ted Mosby the architect" is mostly what I've been going by ever since.

Tracey: (to Lewis) I am very sorry. I have no idea what they gave him, before we got on this plane. It's heavy, he's…not his usual self.

Lewis: It's fine, umm…what're you going to Rome for?

Ted: (leans in) You know I'm her new boyfriend, right? Like, that was obvious, right?

Lewis: (chuckles) Yeah, I uh kinda figured it out.

(Tracey goes to talk, but Ted interrupts)

Ted: (leans in) So you know I'm kinda like the new "Lewis", am I right ladies and gentlemen?

Tracey: Ted.

Lewis: It's…fine, Ted. Tracey and I…we're just friends now anyway. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not gonna bother you this whole trip or anything. It was just…it was really nice seeing you again.

Tracey: (smiles) It was nice seeing you too.

Lewis: What a small world, right?

Tracey: (laughs) Yes! I know.

Ted: (whispers in her ear) Why don't you just kiss him already?

Tracey: (staring at him) That's not funny.

Flight Attendant: Please buckle your seatbelts and prepare for take-off.

Ted: So, Lewis, you goin' to travel around Europe, get some ladies?

Tracey: (whispers) Oh my god, why won't you stop talking?

Ted: I'm being nice.

Tracey: You're never nice!

Lewis: Actually, there's this girl I've been seeing for a few weeks now and I kinda let her go to Italy because she got a job offer there, but then I realized I sort of can't stop thinking about her so…

Ted: So you're chasing her to Italy! How romantic! (to Tracey, pointing at Lewis) This guy is a keeper! So tell me more about this girl!

(Time Lapse. Ted and Tracey have traded places, and Ted and Lewis are now talking and laughing while Tracey has fallen asleep at the window.)

Ted: Oh man, you never should've let her go; she's hilarious!

Lewis: I'm hoping I can get her back.

Ted: She's gonna love your surprise; she'll totally take you back! She'll be crazy if she didn't take you back!

Lewis: Thanks, man. You know, you're pretty cool.

Ted: (turns to Tracey) You hear that, honey? Honey!

Tracey: (wakes up, scared) What, what!?

Ted: Your ex-boyfriend just said I'm pretty cool.

Tracey: Ohhh, what? You mean this wasn't all a nightmare?

(Back to present time at Lily and Marshall's place in Italy.)

Robin: Oh give me, can I hold her? (Ted hands her the baby) Oh my sweet baby, she is so cute! I just wanna bite her!

Barney: Not if I bite her first.

Robin: I'll bite her harder.

Barney: I'll knock her little head—

Lily: (interrupts, leans in) Okay, can I please have my baby back?

(Robin hands her the baby, and she and Barney trade looks and smile)

Barney: I can still get her when she's sleeping.

Robin: Not if I get her first.

Future Ted: Your mother and I just sat there, silent, as our friends made small talk…

(Ted and Tracey smile while the rest of the gang continues to talk, inaudible to us)

Future Ted: But I knew that the minute we get back to our hotel, things were not looking pretty.

(Scene: Hotel Room. Ted and Tracey are changing out of their clothes.)

Tracey: Well, if I knew you were gonna fall in love with my ex-boyfriend, I would've introduced you two lovebirds a long time ago. Hey, maybe he's "the one"! (gives him a thumb-up)

Ted: How else was I supposed to react a thousand feet in the air? What was I supposed to do, get in a fight with him?

Tracey: You were supposed to not make it awkward for me.

Ted: I don't understand why it was awkward for you in the first place!

Tracey: He was my boyfriend, and you were talking to him about chasing another girl down.

Ted: That's my specialty!

Tracey: We never even "unpaused" our fight.

Ted: I assumed after that little incident on the plane, we just sorta "flew" over it. (chuckles) Get it? Flew?

(Tracey just stares at him.)

Ted: Look, come on, I don't want to talk about Robin anymore okay? (gets closer to her) I wanna talk about you. And me. And Italy. And the fact that there's gonna be a lot of Robins and Lewis-es (cringes at the word; Tracey chuckles), but there's only one you. There's only one TM. (smiles) Well, two if you count the original TM and That's Me.

(Tracey smiles)

Tracey: I hate you, don't make me smile. I'm mad at you.

Ted: You gonna say those on our wedding? (kisses her and holds her tightly)

Tracey: Yeah right, if you're lucky enough to find a wife who'll marry you.

Ted: If anything, I'll just go ask Lewis for romantic advice. (smiles)

Tracey: (chuckles) Shut up.

(They kiss again)

(Ted gets a text on his phone)

Ted: (groans) Ugh, such a bad timing! (checks his phone, pauses) Oh, it's Marshall. He…wants me to come over.

Tracey: Now? We just came back.

Ted: Yeah he's having another one of his Father freak outs, I guess. This'll be easy-peasy, I won't be too long. (kisses her again)

Tracey: Okay, fine.

Ted: You…prepare for a wild night.

Tracey: (smiles) You wanna do role playing again?

Ted: Definitely! This time, I'll be the cute sexy bass player waiting outside a train station and you'll be the hot and raunchy and irresistible best man who comes up and shares an umbrella with me.

Tracey: Okay, but then who's gonna play you?

(He tickles her and they kiss again)

Ted: 20 minutes!

(Ted grabs his coat and leaves)

(Scene: Streets. Ted is walking down the streets, under an umbrella an pouring rain in the dark.)

Future Ted: Kids, I'll never forget that cold, Italian night. That was the night your mother and I broke up for a few weeks—but wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

(Ted walks into a bar and puts his umbrella away as he makes his way into the bar.)

Future Ted: The first night in the life of Daisy Erickson was also the night your aunt Robin had a major meltdown.

(He sits at a table where Robin is already seated and having a beer)

Robin: I'm so sorry for bringing you down here.

Ted: (puts a hand on her shoulder) Why are you freaking out?

Robin: I don't know! It must be seeing Lily and Marshall with the new baby or-or, I don't know what it is, I just feel—(takes a deep breath, then looks at Ted softly) I'm never gonna be a mom.

(Ted swallows his throat)

Robin: And I know this should've hit me a lot sooner, but what happens in 10 years when Barney and I are old and have nothing in our lives? What—what's gonna keep him from leaving me?

Ted: So what're you saying, you want to have a baby?

Robin: I-I don't know, Ted!

Ted: Did you talk to Barney about this?

Robin: (sighs) He's Jaba-Drunk right now, so I put him to bed, but I just needed to get out of the room. I felt like I was suffocating, and I would've called Lily but she's very busy right now and—

Ted: (interrupts, puts a hand on her shoulder) Hey, hey! It's gonna be okay. You shouldn't be alone right now; it's good that you texted me.

Robin: (looks at him, tearing up) Thank you, Ted.

Ted: (smiling at her) Major pleasure. Now let's you get some tissues and two beers, huh? (hugs her tightly) Uh, waiter! Cameriere!

Future Ted: That night, I thought I had it all. I really thought I juggled everything perfectly, that I would sit with Robin, make sure she feels better, wait till she's calm and okay then I would send her home and go back to your mother and she wouldn't have to know. But all I could think about while I sat there at that bar, comforting Robin, is what your mom had said to me a few days earlier…

(Flashback to Ted's living-room in New York. Ted and Tracey are arguing.)

Tracey: Would you take Robin again if she suddenly came back for you?

(Back to present-time at the bar.)

Future Ted: It's not like it was something I never thought about, or a question I hadn't asked myself over and over again. But I never wanted to hear the answer, I never wanted to hear myself say "yes" or "I would" or "I don't know" because there's no way for me to explain why I felt any way I felt. There's no way for me to sit down and think about answering because I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to know.

(The beers arrive for Ted and Robin)

(Scene: Hotel Room.)

(Tracey is in a robe, lying down on the bed reading a book.)

(She grabs her phone and looks at the time, then puts it back)

(Back to the bar.)

Future Ted: But as I sat there that night with Robin…

(Ted and Robin drinking their beers)

(Ted and Robin laughing)

Future Ted: …I realized I might've known the answer all along.

Big apologizes, everyone, for the late update. College life and personal problems got in the way. Hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter. Again, I thank you all for your great support and awesome reviews; you always make me smile! Tell me what you think of this one…