The Adventure of Erk

A Ghost of Ivan fic

Ch. 10- The Distant Plains

GoI: OMFG! I UPDATED THIS!

Erk: Yeah, nothing to go crazy over.

Ivan: Your stories still suck.

GoI: Shut up. Anyway, onto the fic!

Leon&Judas: GoI owns nothing.

---

We finally reached Caelin. This is where Lungdren is. Well, he'd do best to prepare for one major can of whoop-ass being unleashed on him.

Wait. Zach is directing the battle plan. We're gonna get our asses whooped. Well, we can only hope for the best. As we were walking to the area around Caelin Castle, Matthew and I were talking about the probable outcome. "We're all gonna get our asses kicked and rot." I said.

"Nah, we might win." Matt said.

"This is Zach we're talking about."

"Oh yeah. We're dead."

"Hmm? What is this conversation about?" A new voice said.

As Matt and I looked at the source of the voice, Matt said, "Who are you!"

I, however, realized who this was. "You!" I said, "You're the one who gave the shock... thing!"

The man simply scowled and said, "I'll bet that you've caused enough trouble, and I'd rather not be caught. What was this you said about dieing now?"

Matt shrugged and said, "Well, our tacticion's an idiot and we're fighting Caelin."

"Hmm. Take me to your leader. I'll see what I can do. Tactics is one of my strong points."

"Heh." I said, relieved, "Looks like we have a chance at survival."

After that, we took the guy to 'The Tent of Strategy', or rather the Tent Zach uses to discuss strategy... If by discuss you mean come up with something utterly retarded, get reprimanded by Lyn, and somehow come up with a plan that might work. As we get there, I shouted to the inside, "Hey, we have a visitor who wants to see you, Lyn!"

A sigh could be heard from the inside as Lyn said, "Come in!"

As Matt, the guy, and myself walk into the tent, I could see a map of the area laid out, and several scribbled out lines. Looks like they were here a while. Lyn looked at the guy and said, "And just who the hell are you?"

The guy simply smirked and said, "Ah, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Leon, a tactical genius if you will. I heard of your plight from these people, and though about lending a hand."

"And what outrageous fee are you going to ask for?"

"How does... free soud?"

"Hm? You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Tactical geniuses don't come cheap, am I right?"

"Ah yes, we don't. But how can I ignore your plight... Milady Lyndis?"

"What? How do you-"

"Your name was well spoken of throughout Lycia, especially Caelin. Not many enjoy Lungdren's rein. And Lyn is just so similar to Lyndis I could just assume that it was your real name."

"Okay, fine. Leon, use your tactical genius skills and come up with a plan."

"Hey... What about me!?" Zach whined.

"You're too stupid. Your plans are either stupid or will get everyone killed."

"Then prove it!"

"Your best plan- kill stuff. Your worst plan- Send Florina into a pit of archers."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"That's just retarded. How the hell did you get this far with him?" Leon asked, sighing.

I simply said, "No one knows..."

Leon looked at the map a little, then said, "Hmm... I'm assuming that Florina is a pegasus knight, am I right?"

"Correct." Lyn answered.

"Then tell her to scout the area to find their approximate numbers. It'll help in the strategy making."

"Okay. I'll go get her now." Lyn said before leaving.

Leon looked at me, confused, and said, "Shouldn't she be staying...?"

I answer, saying, "Florina has androphobia."

Zach, who apparently heard this conversation, asked, "An...dro...pho...bia? What's that?"

"An unnormal fear of men."

"Yes." Leon said, killing the topic. "Now then, I'll assume the main strength will lie in their calvary, so we should have a heavily armored person to protect while archers and mages could rain attacks on them..."

The strategy making went on and on, but eventually there was a conclusion- an all-out charge, with some defensive additions. Ranged fighters would be staying behind the main fighting force. After a certain way through, it would change to a 'divide and conquer' type plan. It seemed kind of reckless, but it was well thought out by Leon. After that was over with, the battle finally started. Before that, though, Lyn said a few words, "Okay, this is our last battle together." She said, apparently coming up with this as she went. "Well, we might meet again, but what's the chances of that? Anyway, as this is our last battle, I don't want any of you dieing on me! We've come so far, and can't end this now! So... um... yeah... CHARGE!!!"

After that, everone charged... Except Wallace because he's just too damn slow. Lyn, Kent, Sain, and Dorcas were fighting fiercly on the front lines, with Matt covering their backs. After them, Wil, Rath, Lucius, and I were there, helping them out. And behind us was Wallace, who was just too slow to keep up, but I guess we won't need to fear an ambush due to reinforcements from the rear. Lyn was cutting down enemy after enemy mercilessly, although Kent and Sain still had some hesitation. I can uderstand them though. I'll assume it would be the same for me if Lord Pent decided to have all of his troops attampt to kill me. Not that I really like Pent's troops... But oh well. I cast a thunder spell at a cavalier heading twards Dorcas, and sent a fire spell at another one approaching Sain. Kent quickly stabbed one approaching Sain, who was busy attacking a sword user who was attacking Dorcas. Suprisingly, we made it to the dividing point with no casualties. Lyn took it upon herself to divide the teams. "Kent, Sain, Serra, Wil, Florina. and I will go this way and take on the main force. You guys go around, and we'll ambush them." Oh joy, I don't have to deal with stupid!

We cross a home-made bridge from a tree, courtesy of Dorcas, to a more civilized area. We pass through, and Dorcas cuts down another snag. We cross it and start to attack the fortress on the other side. One of the watchguards there yelled, "There! There they are!"

A rain of poorly shot arrows landed a few meters in front of us, and a few of the archers soon had arrows protruding from their heads. Dorcas cuts down soldiers guarding it, and everyone else runs in. As I was running through the halls, I heard most of the troops paniking. I think they were new recruits. Eventually, we had caused enough chaos in the fortress and the remaining soldiers surrendered. After that, we quickly ran to catch up with Lyn's group. Eventually we get there. One of the rear soldiers said, "Damn! This was just an ambush!"

Another soldier said, "Ah, damn... So the fortress has fallen under their own control... We can't be expecting reinforcements."

I quickly silenced a few by calling upon a thunder spell. Dorcas cleaved through a few of them with his axe, while Matt's dagger was used to skewer brains. Rath's arrows silenced a few of them also. Lucius called upon his holy magic to damage them, although he let Rath or me finish them off. It wasn't long before I saw Lyn cutting through soldiers with her sword... the Mani Katti, I think it was called. After we regrouped, I told Lyn about our accomplishments. "Lady Lyndis." I said, "We've seized a fortress a little to the south of here. Although it might have been reseized."

Lyn had a grin on her face, although it wasn't a happy grin, it was more of one of a person who was about to deal vengeance. "Lungdren... You're mine..."

Yeah, I think she's a psycopath. After the march to the castle, we find a sole knight blocking the entrance. Lyn quickly walked up to him and said, " Hey, you stupid bastard, get outta my way."

The knight said, "No, Lord Lungdren would ki- BLAHG!!!"

The knight slumped over, dead. He had an axe lodged in his skull. And a familiar laughing was heard... "Ha ha ha ha!" Wallace's voice boomed through our ranks. "It seems I still got some of the action! And that was some damn good exercise, ha ha!" After dislodging his axe, he turned to Lyn and said, "Milady, good luck."

Lyn walked into Caelin castle to find Lungdren waiting for her. "Lungdren! You monster!" Kyn said to him.

Lungdren only laughed and said, "Hah. You little wretch from Sacae, you don't belong here, Lycia is too good for you!"

"No! You bastard! You poison my grandfather, attempt to kill me, and now you insult my land!!?? YOU STUPID BASTARD! MAY YOU NEVER FEEL THE EMBRACE OF MOTHER EARTH AND FATHER SKY AGAIN!!!!!"

Lyn let out a shrill battle cry slashing Lungdren with the Mani Katti in fury, only to be knocked back but Lungdren's Silver Lance. Sain attampted to step in, but Kent held him back. "Kent!" Sain said, "What the hell are you doing!?"

"This is Milady Lyndis' fight. We won't interfere."

The fight was going on ever fiercly. Lungdren certainly had power, but Lyn's speed could not be matched by him. The fight was basically going on as a stalemate, neither side was able to land a good hit on the other. That is, until Lungdren pierced Lyn's side, I think it just barely missed anything important. Well, I hear two thuds, ther go Lucius and Serra. Now I must resist the urge to kick Serra. Not resisting very well though. Oh well, I'll kick her anyway. A few kicks later, Lyn attempted a daring move. I could tell i that it was risky, yet effective, just by what it looked like she was going to do. Removing her scabbard from her belt, she used it as a pole vault and managed to jump over Lungdren, and managed to give a nasty slash to his backside. "N-no..." Lungdren started to say. "Nothing more... th-than a savage from Sacae... The Caelin throne... should me mi- Gugh!!!"

Okay, that was really fucking gross. Did she shish-ka-bob his... liver? Or maybe a kidney? Whatever it was, it was skewered on her sword. Oh no, she's really pissed. I guess she doesn't take well to being called a savage. Note to self- Don't call Lyn a savage or insult Sacae. It will be suicide. Ugh, that's gross! We don't need you to start ripping out his still beat- oh, ugh, I feel like I'm gonna hurl... Oh, jeez, I'm glad Serra passed out... or maybe not... Well, I don't need puke on my cloak. No, I don't want to see his brain!!!! Well, not like I had much choice... Oh, she better not be planning to make a soup with that intestine... oh she's just chopping it up. Thourough in killing someone isn't she. I hear another thud. That must've been Florina. Well, since this is too damn gross, I'll start kicking Serra again... That feels so nice, kicking Serra. It makes me feel... so alive... Ah well. OH ST. ELIMINE! SHE IS NOT GOING TO- I'll speak up now..., "Uh, milady Lyndis... What about your grandfather?"

Lyn looked at me, and quickly ran around the castle, probably to her grandfather's room. Ugh... now to clean this mess. Kent sighs, while Sain looks like he's going to puke, and so does everyone else in various degrees. Rath seems to be the only one unaffected... Well, Lungdren did insult his homeland too... Okay, I think maybe Lyn should've changed before seeing her grandfather? It wouldbe weird if she walked in covered in blood and... internal fluids... and with other guts on her clothes. Yeah, she is a psycopath.

------------

(A/N: Due to my lack of updates for this- bonus part! This will be when Erk finally gets back to Pent's place in Etruria.)

Finally home. That mission took much too long. Well, the feast at Caelin was okay, but... Stupid kept pestering me and Lyn was STILL covered in Lungdren... seriously, what the hell? That scene even still disgusts me. It would probably disgust Lord Pent and Lady Louise, and that's saying something! When I finally get to the door, I start hitting it as hard as I can, in hopes that someone will hear me. After waiting a while with the door not opening, I start yelling "OPEN THE DOOR YOU DUMBFUCKS!!!"

Yeah, I'm that homesick. Not really, it's just that they're used to my calling others dumbfucks. I wait outside when the door finally opens. I sigh in relief while I look at my savior. Suprising, I didn't know them. It was a girl with light green hair that went just past her shoulders. She said, "I'm sorry, but Lord Pent is currently busy at the moment, so-"

"It's okay. I can tell him later." I said as I walked past her into the place.

"H-hey! You can't just barge in here!"

"Why not? I live here."

"Really? I have been Lord Pent's apprentice for the last few months, and this is my first time seeing you."

"No duh. I had to escourt the spawn of dragons, girl."

"My names not 'girl'! It's Cecilia!"

"Yeah whatever. I'll just tell Lord Pent I've returned when he finishes his stuff."

That was weird. I thought there could only be one apprentice at a time? Geez, I bet Pent thought I was dead... Oh well, he always was one to assume. Finally, I've reached my room. I think I'll just go in there and read General Compositional Theory of Anima Magic, starting with volume one. Yes, those were good books. Even though that would be my 10th time reading it... When I walk into my room, I was in for a big shock. Sitting on my bed was none other than Cecilia, reading General Compositional Theory of Anima Magic, Volume 8. I asked her, "What the fuck are you doing in my room?"

She glared at me, probably because I interrupted her reading, and said, "Your room? This is my room."

I sigh and said, "Okay... I really need to talk to Lord Pent..."

I leave 'my' room and go off to Pent's study. Having memorized the layout of Pent's home, it wasn't that hard. When I get to the door leading into Pent's study, I knock on the door. I hear Pent's voice saying, "Come in."

I open the door and say, "Lord Pent, what the fuck!?"

Pent gets a worried expression on his face and says, "Erk... oh... um... Damn... I didn't expect to see you. hehe..."

"Two questions. One- Why the FUCK did you make me escourt that pink-haired wretch!?"

"Well, it payed good, and would be a good chance to train your skills."

"But WHY THE FUCK HER!"

"I thought you two would get along!"

"GET ALONG WITH THAT FUCKER!? I THINK NOT!"

"Well, it was like that with Louise and I, so I thought..."

"Well, whatever. I got to hone my skills well enough... But now, question two- Cecilia."

"Well, you took so long I assumed you were dead!"

"And you certainly didn't think we would go off track?"

"Well, news in Lycia doesn't exactly reach Etruria fast!"

"Well, I'd guess you better go explaining everything to Cecilia now."

"Ugh... Fine..."

After Lord Pent and I walk through his home for a while, we come back to my room. Of course, Pent ignores all formalities and just swings the door open. Cecilia looked up from her book and said, "Lord Pent? What brings you here?"

Pent sighed and said, "Look... This person here is Erk. He's my apprentice. He was here before you. But I went off thinking he was dead and took you as an apprentice. Now, I expect both of you to behave like grown-ups and be able to share this room, okay."

There was a few moments of silence, until Cecilia and I yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK!!!???"

---

GoI: Yeah, took forever to update...

Erk: Geez...

Leon:...

Judas:...

Ivan: If you find any value in this piece of shit, review.

GoI: I don't think it's shit... And I know this wasn't as funny as the others. And to clear some things up-

Wallace got to castle Caelin by going through the mountains that are just below your starting point. I don't know how he did it either. And a cookie to whoever knows who Cecilia is. And finally- R&R!!