A Hearts Abyss

Chapter 7 – November: Dark Cold Snap, Part 1– Nico

A/N: This chapter includes Hades as my friend suggested in a review, thank you Karen.

~* Present – Late November in the Underworld *~

Nico was bored at his father's castle as he took refuge in his room. Still it was better than hanging out with his so called family. He couldn't stand the glares and even worse the thinly veiled barbs aimed at his mother. The only good thing about the underworld was that he could use a computer anytime he wanted. Last week, when he arrived, he told his father, truthfully, that he was about two years behind in math and physics. Now he hardly left his room or ever stopped studying. His father had originally given him Madam Curie as a tutor, but he asked for some from this century, well his century at least. So they compromised on Weiner Von Braun. After a week he was about half way through the first year. Still he could only handle so much studying and now he was completely burned out. He couldn't focus on any specific thoughts.

He sighed heavily looking around at the green glowing expansive room. It was a dreary hodgepodge of furniture from different eras separated into different living areas. He had only made minimal changes including clearing a space for sparing practice, replaced the bunks with a king size bed, and adding modern electronics.

He stared up at the black sky through the open castle roof and felt around for the dark spot inside himself. Will said it didn't belong, but he knew it was the real him. He was a dark abyss just like the underworld sky. No wonder Will didn't want him. At that his chest tightened and his breath became shallow. If he was honest with himself he was depressed and lonely. He really wished he could go to New Rome to see Hazel and Reyna but, he couldn't risk Will coming to finding him. That particular trial would be too much right now. He sat up and reached for his laptop, suddenly studying didn't seem so bad.

Some hours later Ms. O'Leary was suddenly there. She had one paw on the bed and it creaked ominously. "Girl get off." He pushed at her, but she didn't seem to feel it. "What are you doing here?" He pet her by the hitting her flank as hard and he could. She wagged her tail knocking things down from the bookshelf nearby. She never came to visit him out of the blue like this. He guided her to the empty sparing area before she broke anything else. She rolled over on her side and went to sleep. He inspected her collar and found something attached to it.

It was a letter in ancient Greek addressed to him, a letter from Will. His chest constricted again and this time he started hyperventilating. When had he become so volatile? He stared at the envelope as if it might explode. He didn't feel much inclination to read it, so he placed on his nightstand. He anticipated that it was confirmation that his boyfriend didn't care for him anymore. His head rung with things Will had said to him: 'I can still feel the darkness there, waiting to come out', 'Don't you trust me about Valens', and worst of all his statement the night he left 'I just don't want to get in to deep.' He blinked rapidly trying forestall tears yet again. He had already cried far too much over Will. At least here nobody would know.

Just as he finished that thought a knock came at this door. He wiped his eyes quickly and called for whoever to come in. He glance at the time and assumed it was dinner delivery. He was right, but it was carried in by his father.

"What are you doing here?" he asked indigent.

"Is it a crime to want to have dinner with you?" At that Nico notice that he had two covered plates and groaned. Hades set the tray down on the low table by the couch.

"Since when do you have a hell hound as a pet?" Hades said with a nod and Mrs. O'Leary. He was dressed as a regular moral to day. Thank goodness, his souls robe gave him the creeps.

"She's Percy's but I take care of her sometimes." He answered cautiously wondering what his father was after.

"Come sit down and eat with me. I want to hear about your studies. How is the German scientist working out?"

He relaxed slightly as he took a chair across from him, knowing he could spin this topic out a while. "Yeah, he is good and I've learned a lot. The only problem is he doesn't know how to use a computer." They talked on this neutral subject through most of the meal. Yet as they neared the end of the meal he became edgy knowing his father wouldn't let him go that easily. He always had an agenda.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on? Why did he send her?" Hades asked pointing at Mrs. O'Leary. He may have looked relax as he lounged back with his arm over the back of the couch but his eyes gave away his interest. Something Nico never wanted to have directed at him.

He mockingly answered, "I just missed seeing you."

"No, you didn't," He countered.

He shrugged, "OK, I thought I could get better tutoring here."

He ignored that answer and went on, "Was it Jackson again? I thought that was settled a long time ago."

Nico felt himself stiffen. Maybe his father suspected he had a crush on Percy. It unnerved him enough that he answered truthfully. "No it wasn't, but it is now," he asserted as he glared at him.

His father seemed to realize his agitation, "Nico, I'm not trying to trap you in anything. Some children talk to their parents, maybe…"

Then he felt himself just collapse into the angry child he had been at ten as he shouted, "I don't need you and never have. I never wanted this life. Why did you have to be my father?"

He cocked an eyebrow, but only sounded regretful as he said. "If I wasn't your father you probably would have died at the hands of Mussolini's black shirts."

He glowered, "Don't pretend you know anything about me."

Hades leaned forward and almost put a hand on his shoulder. He opted for the table instead, "Nico, it isn't a big deal."

"What!?" He shouted.

"Wanting a man to share your bed." He answered simply and unashamed.

He felt his heartbeat thundering in his ears, but he could only stare. Something in him had changed since he left camp. I had felt so right to be with Will after the turmoil of coming out. Then the moment they broke-up all his self-loathing and shame just flooded back. Still he had never ever intended to tell his father.

"I can be very good as a matter of fact." And to Nico's horror he gave him a smirking smile and wink that said he knew what he was talking about.

"Ugh, don't say that type of thing." He answered automatically disgusted as his mind reeled thinking of his father having sex.

"Why not, it is natural." He calmly replied.

He jumped up and yelled shaking like a leaf, "No, it's sick and I'm a pervert. So it is just as well I'm away from all the normal people."

Slowly his father stood as he seethed head down too ashamed to even move. He had admitted it, something he vowed never to do. Far too sedately he explained, "Nico, I'm Greek and that means all men regularly had sex with other men. At that time it was alright as long as you are the one… um what is the current term? Topping, it didn't matter male or female. So, you see, things are not so cut and dry. Don't let your era define you. Don't be ashamed to be yourself."

His father being understanding and supportive? Suddenly he felt empty, defeated, and cold, "Yeah, well…." He gulped looking away as he sat back down. His father sat following his lead. What was worse as he knew that his father had a good point, but he still didn't feel like he was allowed to be gay and his father was one of the last people he wanted to talk to about it. Yet, maybe it was time to man up.

He grit his teeth and looked Hades in the face. He croaked out, "I broke-up with my boyfriend."

"Please tell me it wasn't Jackson?"

"No, his name was Will Solace."

"Hum, I don't know him. Who is his godly parent?"

"Apollo, so be glad we broke up."

"You dated one of those conceited braggarts?"

"He isn't like that. After all how much am I like you."

"Touché. What did he do to lose you?"

"Uh, yeah, I don't want to talk about it."

"He's an idiot for breaking up with you."

He frowned, "You should know being a 'Son of Hades' does nothing to win me friends. My aura is a bit dark you see."

"Really? And I thought Gothic romances were in style now."

He chuckled without mirth, "Turns out the real thing is not so good."

"So, I actually do have a lot of experience with love. What to give me a try?"

He rolled his eyes, "Not particularly." But he realized his heart didn't feel quite so heavy anymore.

Hades glanced around the room, "Even with a hell hound in it, this room is too big and rather old fashioned. I never came in here when I had many children staying. It was my way of getting them out from under foot. Little did I realize I would miss them one day." He looked squarely at him with warmth, "Regardless of the reason I'm glad you came. I wouldn't object if you wanted to modernize it."

"Sure, shall I get my decor from the Temple of Bone?"

His father looked at him sharply with the corners of his mouth twitching. He shrugged, "If you like, but that is hardly modern." He paused, "You're welcome to can stay as long as you want, but I'd rather you were in the land of the living. You can always go to New Rome."

His eyes instinctively glanced over towards the letter laying on his nightstand, "No, not yet." He returned to look his father in the eye, "Still if you want me out, I'll leave." He shuttered to think he may be wrong about his acceptance.

"No I didn't mean it that way." Nico let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Son, it is just that hiding out is not really living. You could go see Hazel, be with friends." Nico glared at him in the usual way to indicate he wasn't helping. "And now I've out stayed my welcome."

He picked up the tray and walked to the door. Turning he said, "Still I plan to come around every so often, so be warned," and was gone.

He huffed going back to laying on his bed and gaze at the open ceiling again. He couldn't believe he had just come out to his father. Hades the God of the Underworld knew he was gay. Still he didn't so much come out as he was shoved out. At least he wasn't kicking and screaming, well not very much. Still it was shocking how accepting his father had been. For as seeped in Greek culture he was, it had never occurred to him that is father was in fact Greek and had certainly dabbled in… Ugh. He couldn't bring himself to even think about that.

The part that really got to him was that his father seemed to actually care. He found himself glancing over at the letter again. Maybe if he could just accept it was over with Will, he would be able to move on. His chest ached and stomach clenched just thinking about seeing in writing that Will was done with him.

All he wanted to do was forget everything. He rolled over and tried to fall asleep. He felt heavy and slow, but after another indeterminately long time tossing and turning he was still awake and agonizing over his feelings for Will, well rather what Will feelings were for him. He looked over at the old fashioned alarm clock he had been avoiding and its face glowed 2:15am casting a shadow over the letter. He tried not to think about it as he quickly flicked on the lamp and opened the letter.

My Dark Angel,

Please forgive for my use of that nickname, but whenever I think of you I come back to that name and our early days together. That is probably the wrong thing to say considering you think I don't know the real you. I understand why you think that, but I don't even know how to start to contradict you.

This past week has been such an emotional roller coaster for me that I hardly know anything for sure anymore. I've done so many things wrong and I have so many regrets. Still through it all I know I love you. You may wonder at that since you say I have a false impression of you. I've come to realize that my behavior has been erratic and contrary to my feelings.

All I can do is tell you how sorry I am to put you through that torment and that I'm at fault. I can't even promise it won't happen again, since I can't promise I've changed. You see according to Chiron it is all wound up with my fatal flaw and until I can overcome that… well I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't even know if you even want to hear from me.

Still I took the liberty of writing you and giving this to Mrs. O'Leary because I want to clear the air. I know you don't want to see me. As painful as that is, I'll respect your wishes. I will stay away even if you returned to camp or should I hear you are in New Rome. Further, I won't look for you no matter what I hear. I would not deny you the comfort of your sister or friends at a time like this for fear of seeing me.

I only hope you'll give me the chance to correct the error of my ways. I feel so ashamed of how I've treated you. As much as I would like to hear from you, I don't expect you to write back. I would like to write to you again, but I'll understand if you'd rather not receive my letters. If you return this with Mrs. O'Leary, I'll know not to bother you again. If I get nothing when she returns, I'll know I can write to you. Please let me reach out to you by writing, it would comfort me greatly.

All My Love,

Will 3

He devoured the letter with barely contained eagerness. Could Will really still care for him? Yet he didn't quite let himself believe his words. After all he made no promises. It just didn't seem like he could have felt so different from how he behaved. Maybe he just didn't want to let go. That seemed a lot more likely, still he couldn't write off the letter completely. He was curious to see what he would say in his defense in later letters. After a while he was finally able to drop off to sleep.

In the morning he woke to a hell hound licking the length of his body through the covers. Ugh! He jump up and hurried to get her breakfast. He halfheartedly thought of sending a reply, but he had no words to convey his mixed emotions. Instead he sent her home without a letter of any kind; the signal that Will could write again. He spent the rest of the day studying and trying not to wonder what might be in Will's next letter.

A/N: This chapter will be in parts but I'm not sure if it will be two or three parts. I'll have the next up in about a week. Thanks for reading, Anne