unspilled stars, unspilled secrets

The building they bought for the shop has a cramped rooftop with a low parapet. Beyond the rough uneven stone is a patchwork of Hogsmeade's roofs and chimneys, fading out into fields, into groves, into a horizon of jagged mountains, jet black against the misty night. Most importantly, it provides an awesome view of the skies. Well into the night, Lily and James climb up there, sharing a blanket too small for two, and comfortable silence that makes him want to just live out his entire life in that space with her. Their lighting only subsists on the streetlamps from below, and it's still too cloudy to stargaze, but everything from their small vantage point glistens rather magnificently with the aftermath of the rain. James made sure to dry their bench with a quick spell. They can still hear tired voices from below—Remus, Peter, and Mary, talking about fake wands and Zonko's and something about a supposed secret chamber under Hogwarts. Marlene has gone home, Fenwick is snoring on the pool table, and Sirius has slumped down on the cashier counter.

"All right, Potter?" Lily asks. "Your face is all… crumpled."

He contorts his face exaggeratedly and then says, "It's not."

She reaches up to kiss his cheek. "I'm alright," she assures him. "I'm over it."

He drops all jest. "How can you be?"

She shrugs. "Life is short. They're family. Petunia's all I got now, and I can't be angry at her for long."

"I don't think I can forgive that fast."

She sighs. "I had to. She and Aunt Hilda both. I didn't immediately—I was furious at first, of course. I couldn't believe it. I—I went back to Mary, just blindly sought this one stranger in my desperation. I wasn't even sure if she really existed. She did, and I just—I dumped everything on her that day. I must have freaked her out as much as she did me the first time we met, but I didn't care, I was... I needed someone, and she was the only one I knew who would understand. I'm not even sure I understood entirely. It was confusing and painful and—it was like Marlene said. My life. Gone past me."

James stays silent, thoughtful.

She nudges him. "Potter."

He lazily raises a hand. "Present."

"Stop brooding."

He rolls his eyes, but also sighs and pulls her closer. "I'm trying not to think about it."

"You're wondering why she told me, aren't you? Why she gave in after keeping it for so long?"

"Self-studied Legilimency, have you?"

"Legilimency?"

"Oh. Mind reading."

"You can do that?"

He disentangles his arm from her, shifts to level her gaze. She looks right back with a crease on her forehead. He pretends to concentrate really hard, head inclined and eyes narrowed.

"Are you being serious right now?" asks Lily, leaning away from him.

"Nah, still James," he mutters, not breaking act.

"Terrible," she counters.

"Shush. I'm reading… I'm reading that you find me so irresistibly attractive on this particular night, and it's taking all of your willpower not to jump me."

She exhales a breath of relief and pushes him away by the face. "You are so full of it."

He laughs. "Not everyone can do it. It's something you can learn, though."

"That's… as brilliant as it's terrifying."

"You know another thing as brilliant as it's terrifying?"

"What?"

"Being able to turn to animals."

"Like werewolves?"

"No," says James, with years' worth of precisely calculated nonchalance. "I meant turning by will."

He carefully studies her expression, but it's only ever unconcerned. She nods and says, "Oh, yeah, that, I've read about."

"You have? Nerd."

"Animagi. Brilliant, but—not fun, is it? Who would go to all that trouble to be able to shift?"

James, who was not expecting her reaction to take that direction, carelessly frowns.

"What? Oh, god—do you know some Animagi? I didn't think it was that common! Oh no, sorry—"

"It's fine! It's okay. It is uncommon though, you're right…" He considers telling her then, about his and his friends' secret, but chickens out. It's not really just his to share. "We had a professor once," he says instead. "In Hogwarts. She could turn into a cat."

"Wow." There's a pause, and then she groans, leans fully against him with a wistful sigh. "Hogwarts. God. I have forgiven Tuney, I truly have, it's just—sometimes I can't help but long for it! The houses, the moving staircases, and—that. Professors who turn into cats. That's—this whole world is bizarre."

"You have the rest of your life to explore it now. We won't miss anything."

She's the one who goes quiet this time.

"Evans."

She raises her hand. "Present."

He chuckles. And then, "You're right, I was wondering about your sister."

She kisses him. Without warning. Again. But this time he rallies fast, and cups her face to return the fervour just as much.

When they break away, he closes his eyes and catches his breath. "You really need to stop doing that."

"I really don't. You look so cute all blown away."

"You need to stop it."

"Mhmm. Maybe next time."

"Next time you'll stop?"

"No." She's leaning in again, but her dilatory pace is enough warning this time. "Your question. Next time?" She hovers on the corner of his mouth, her fingers gently pitter-pattering their way from his collarbone to his jaw.

James, sufficiently distracted, relents. "Alright." He all but just sighs it.