So this one is kinda big...I hope you like it! Sorry for being fail at replying to reviews. I'm planning on taking some time to do it tomorrow!

Time had no meaning anymore; days could have passed, and I wouldn't have known. It didn't matter to me anymore; nothing did. I wasn't aware of where I was, or who was with me. All I knew was pain; searing, blinding, all-consuming pain. Having no outlet for my grief, my body just seemed to shut down completely. I kept going over it in my mind. We should have been together; I should have worked harder at making her happy. I should have taken her and run far, far away from this place - away from her father and uncles and everything else that had eventually driven her to take her own life.

I was vaguely aware of Demetri talking to me. I heard words like: unbelievable, impossible and why. I don't think I answered, but I wasn't sure. It was silent for a long time. I could've sworn I smelled her; the flowery scent hung thick in the air. I inhaled and exhaled, in and out, relishing the feeling of having part of her close. Eventually, her scent got weaker, and I had to inhale deeper to catch it. It felt like I was losing her all over again.

"Felix."

Somewhere in the distance, I registered a female voice, and for one second, I thought it might be her.

"Felix, come back to me."

Suddenly my vision cleared, and I looked around. I was amazed to find myself in Lucy's room. I had no memory of getting here and no idea how long I'd been here for. A warm hand touched my arm, startling me. I looked beside me to find Susanna sitting with me on Lucy's bed.

"Hey," she smiled apprehensively.

"Hi," was all I could utter, my voice sounding as if it belonged to someone else.

"Demetri told me what happened. I'm so sorry, Felix."

I didn't respond; I simply had nothing to say. Instead, I looked around Lucy's room, taking in every detail. It was decorated in soft pink - from the walls, to the bed covers, right down to the plush rug on the floor. Her wardrobe was open, revealing a mess of many clothes. I sighed deeply and turned to Susanna.

"How long has it been?"

"Two days," she replied.

Two days. So, I'd lost two whole days. Somehow, I didn't care.

"Caius had his baby. It's a boy."

I nodded in acknowledgment.

"Felix, you have to get out of here. Let's go back to your room, okay?"

There was so much concern in her voice, and I felt guilty for making her worry. Her hand slid under my arm as I stood up. It seemed funny to me, a mere human supporting a vampire like me, but I didn't fight it. Susanna guided me back to my room, where she sat me down on the bed. She reached behind herself and grabbed her bag.

"I think it's time I showed you something," she said, rummaging through it.

She pulled out what appeared to be a picture and handed it to me. Three people smiled back at me: Susanna, a man and a small child. I looked at them for a moment before Susanna spoke.

"That's my husband, Alex, and that's our little boy, Sidney."

I gasped and looked at her.

"You're married?"

"I was. Alex and I met in high school and got married straight after college. Sidney came along shortly after that. We had so many plans, so many things we wanted to do."

She looked sad, and I couldn't help but reach out and take hold of her hand.

"What happened?" I asked tentatively, realising this story would not have a happy ending. She took a shuddering breath.

"They were coming to pick me up from work when they were hit by a truck. They were killed on impact. I stopped living that day. I've been waiting to join them ever since."

A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at the picture one last time before putting it back inside her bag.

"Now you know," she stated. I nodded to show her I understood. She wanted to die to be with the ones she loved. More than anything, I wished I could do the same. We sat in silence for a long time, both of us lost in our grief, neither of us knowing what to say to console the other. Having her close was a comfort though. The steady heartbeat of my baby was like an anchor, keeping me rooted in reality. Lucy was gone, but this baby needed me, and I had to stay strong to keep it safe.

We both jumped when my door swung open and Demetri burst through, his face completely panicked.

"Felix! You need to come with me. Please help!"

Without a second thought, I followed him as he ran back to his room.

"Demetri, what's going on?"

He seemed almost frantic in his running, and I wondered what could've gotten him so upset.

"Elliana… the baby… it's coming."

A slight panic overtook me, but I wanted to keep it together for Demetri. I did my best to collect myself as we neared his room.

I could hear Elliana's screams long before we reached it. The doctor was just on his way out.

"I'm so sorry, Master, but there's nothing we can do. I gave her some medicine to relieve most of the pain, but she's dying. Prepare to deliver your baby soon."

Demetri looked terrified. I grasped his shoulder and made him look at me.

"You can do this, brother."

"You'll stay with me?"

I honestly didn't want to, but he looked so lost that I couldn't say no. I nodded once and followed him in. Elliana was lying on his bed, sweating and panting, but fortunately, no longer screaming. She looked up when we walked in, surprising me with the amount of fight still left in her eyes. Demetri sat down next to her and stroked her face.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," she replied, a small, weary grin on her face. "At least the drugs seem to be kicking in. Are you sure they won't harm the baby?"

"The baby will be fine. Just try and get some rest, okay?"

She nodded and lay back, her eyes closed. He kept stroking her face until she fell into a restless sleep. He sighed deeply and bowed his face into his hands. I stood by the door, unsure of whether to stay or go. Eventually, he looked up, his expression tortured.

"What if I change her? Wouldn't that cure her?"

I thought about that for a long moment.

"You can't change her as long as the baby is still in there."

He looked at her sleeping form; she seemed to be getting weaker by the minute. There was no colour left in her face, and her breathing was laboured. Demetri rose from the bed and started pacing the room.

"I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, wringing his hands. "Is it the right thing to do?"

He looked at me, searching for reassurance that I couldn't give him.

"Only you can decide that, Demetri."

"No…"

We both startled when Elliana's hoarse whisper interrupted our conversation. Demetri sat back down by her side and grabbed her hand.

"Please, Elliana, let me try."

"No," she said again, louder this time. "I've accepted what's happening, but I have no desire to become one of you."

Elliana struggled for breath as speaking was taking its toll on her fragile body. Demetri stroked her forehead while she looked up at him.

"I need you here. I don't know how to be a father; I need your help."

Elliana coughed loudly, and as she tried to catch her breath, I was amazed to see her lips form into an almost wicked smirk.

"I'll so enjoy watching you struggle from wherever it is I'll go. Consider it your punishment for what you did to me."

She coughed again, gasping for air. Her chest was rising and falling violently as she was clearly trying to hang on to whatever life was left in her. I didn't want to witness this, but I knew Demetri needed me here. It was an odd thing; as a vampire I was used to death, I delivered it to unsuspecting humans all the time. However, seeing it like this, tortured and drawn out, made it more real somehow. I just hoped that when the time came, Susanna's death would be quick and painless.

Elliana moaned, taking a long, quivering breath. She held it for a moment before releasing it slowly. Her eyes glazed over, and her chest stilled.

Demetri froze, shaking slightly. I stayed where I was, allowing him a moment to grasp what had just happened. Eventually, he leaned in, kissed her hand and wiped a stray lock of hair from her face. His hand moved over her eyes, closing them for the last time.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, as he put her hand down beside her and stood up.

"Demetri, you need to get the baby out."

I pointed at Elliana's abdomen, where there was still movement. I didn't know how long the baby would survive in there, but I was sure we needed to act fast. Demetri nodded, still shaking. He lifted his hands and ran them over her swollen belly. I looked on anxiously. He moved his head down and sank his teeth into her, the sound of tearing metal filling the room. I jumped as I heard someone gasp behind me and turned in shock to find Susanna in the doorway. I rushed over to her and forced her outside.

"What are you doing here?"

My voice sounded angrier than I'd intended, but she didn't seem to be listening. She was trembling from head to toe and looked like she would pass out any second. I pulled her to me, rubbing her back to try and soothe her.

"Is she…" she began to ask. I hugged her as close as I could, her belly pressing against me.

"Don't think about it, please. Let's go back to my room."

I was just about to lift her and carry her back when the sound of a baby crying distracted us both. Susanna pushed against me and tried to move past me, but I stopped her.

"Please just let me take you back. You shouldn't be here."

"Move aside, Felix. I want to see the baby."

I didn't think it was right to let her go in there, but I knew her well enough by now to understand that there was no point in arguing. I released her but stayed close beside her as she walked in. Demetri stood next to the bed, his back to us. I was happy to see he'd covered most of Elliana's body; only her shoulders and face were still visible. Demetri turned slowly as we stopped behind him. In his arms was a tiny baby with a full head of black hair. It was screaming frantically, its face red and its little hands clutched into fists. Despite the noise it was making, Demetri looked at it in wonder, a smile on his face.

"It's a girl," he said, never taking his eyes off her. She kept up her screaming, which, in fact, only seemed to grow louder. Susanna reached out her arms to the baby.

"Can I hold her?"

Demetri seemed to contemplate it for a moment, unsure of what to do, but eventually he handed the baby to Susanna. She hugged the girl to her chest, where it snuggled contently and immediately fell asleep. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. Demetri looked at his daughter, stunned by her sudden silence.

"How did you do that?" he asked Susanna.

"She was just cold," she answered, and he gasped.

"Of course; how stupid of me. I should've realized that. I…I have clothes. Maybe we should put some on her."

"A blanket will do for now," Susanna said, rocking the little girl in her arms.

Demetri rushed to his wardrobe and retrieved a pink, fleece blanket. He handed it to Susanna, who put the girl down in her crib and bundled her up. She sighed contently in her sleep.

"Have you got a name for her yet?" Susanna asked Demetri.

"Yes. Her name is Megan. Elliana's choice. It was her sister's name."

"Megan. That's a nice name."

Susanna walked over to the bed and looked at Elliana. She sighed, stroking the girl's hair one last time before pulling the sheet all the way up to cover her.

"Where are you going to bury her?"

Demetri and I looked at each other awkwardly. We never buried humans; we had our own way to dispose of the bodies. Susanna looked between us anxiously.

"You are going to bury her, right?"

"Yes," I replied quickly, not wanting to upset her further. I ignored Demetri, who threw me a questioning glance, and walked over to Susanna.

"Let's go back to the room. You need to drink and rest."

She sagged against me as I lifted her up. I turned back to Demetri. "You'll be okay here by yourself?"

He nodded, looking at his newborn baby girl who was fast asleep in her tiny crib. His expression was a mixture of fear, worry and wonder. I glanced at Elliana's body one last time before I quickly left the room. Susanna was half asleep when I lay her down on my bed. I covered her with the sheets and sat down next to her.

As her breathing slowed and she sunk into a restless slumber, I couldn't help but think that this woman was born to be a mother. The way she'd immediately known what it was that Megan had needed and how she'd been able to calm the tiny girl had surprised me. I supposed she'd been through all of this before with her own son. I couldn't help but wonder how she'd been able to hold on to her strong beliefs after everything had been so cruelly taken from her. I'd never believed in heaven or hell, and this was only strengthened when I was brought into this eternal purgatory. Regardless of what came after this life, I hoped she got what she wanted and was reunited with her family once more.

Against Aro's wishes, Demetri and I buried Elliana in the castle garden. She had no headstone; instead, we placed a statue of a butterfly over her grave. Susanna wanted to join us, but she had a hard time staying on her feet for more than a couple of minutes at a time. Her due date was nearing, and the closer it got, the worse I felt. I would once again lose someone who I'd grown to care about. Susanna had taken the picture of her family out of her bag and placed it onto the nightstand. I'd examined it while she was sleeping, noting the resemblances between the little boy and his mother. Their eyes were the same, but his hair was dark, like his father's. They had the same bright smile, though. I hoped our child would look like her; that way, at least a part of Susanna would still be with me after she was gone.

To my intense surprise, Athenodora had left the castle with no intention of coming back. After the birth of Caius' son, the two of them apparently had a huge fight, after which she'd packed her things and moved out. Caius hardly seemed to care, as he was too busy boasting about his heir. I hadn't seen him yet, or any of the Elders in fact. I blamed them for Lucy's death almost as much as I blamed myself, and I didn't think I'd be able to hide my feelings very well at the moment. As a result, I chose to stay in my room at all times, only leaving to get Susanna whatever she craved from the kitchen.

Demetri visited us a lot, which made Susanna happy. She loved spending time with little Megan, and she, in turn, seemed enamoured by Susanna. Demetri fired question after question at her, wanting to know how to best take care of his daughter. I listened to her answers intently; I would need the knowledge soon enough. I'd made sure my room was fitted for the baby. Susanna had picked most of the furniture and had made sure that I had all the essentials. To the outside world, I was ready for my child to come; inside, I was terrified. I wanted to protect my child from all the horrors that came with growing up amongst vampires, but I knew I would never be able to. More than anything, I didn't want to lose Susanna. She'd become my friend, my support through all this, and the thought of having to watch her suffer and die was petrifying.

o-O-o

It was almost a week after Megan's birth. I'd just helped Susanna into the bathroom so she could wash when I heard her scream. I ran in to find her doubled over in front of the sink. I rushed to her, immediately smelling blood.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She was panting, her face twisted in obvious agony.

"The baby… " she gasped, clutching her stomach. All colour had been drained from her face, and she was trembling slightly. I lifted her up and carried her back to the bed. Susanna moaned, in obvious pain, while I stood helplessly at her side. My mind was a complete blank; I had no idea what to do. She looked up at me, annoyance on her face.

"Could you please help me out of these pants?"

I jerked out of my stupor and quickly undressed her. With shock, I registered blood between her legs, quickly staining the bed. My hands shook as I fumbled for my phone and tried to call Jane. It took me several tries before I finally got it right.

"Jane! Please send the doctor to my room. Susanna's in labour."

I hung up after she'd assured me he was on his way and went back to Susanna's side.

"The doctor's coming. Is there anything I can do for you?"

She winced as she shook her head.

"Just stay with me," she panted.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it firmly as another wave of pain made her cry out. I cursed inwardly, wishing the doctor would hurry up. As if on cue, the door opened, and Jane rushed in, followed by the human that had been aiding the Elders with their sick scheme in the hope they would grant him immortality. If Aro didn't kill him, I certainly would.

He quickly examined Susanna before turning to me.

"The baby's ready. I'll give her something to fight the pain, and then you can proceed to get it out."

I growled at him, upset with the way he completely ignored Susanna. He cowered with fear and dropped the bottle of morphine he was holding. He clumsily picked it back up and fumbled, trying to get the liquid into the syringe. Eventually, he was able to administer the drug to Susanna, who relaxed almost immediately. She looked at me, her eyes glazed.

"Felix… " she whispered, her hold on my hand slackening. I could feel her slip away, but I wasn't ready to let her go yet.

"Please, stay with me. Just hold on a little while longer."

She smiled ever so slightly and reached her free hand up to my face.

"You're a good man, Felix. I trust you with our child."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. This was all happening too fast.

"Master Felix, you need to get the baby out," the doctor urged.

I never took my eyes off Susanna as I addressed Jane.

"You do it."

"What? Felix, I don't know how!"

My words were hardly more than a growl as I spoke again.

"Do it, Jane. Now!"

She didn't argue again. I smelled fresh blood, so I assumed the doctor had made the initial incision across her stomach, guiding Jane where she would need to bite deeper to reach the womb. I tried to block all the other sounds and smells and focused only on Susanna. I had to say goodbye to her.

"Susanna… " I couldn't find the words to express how much I'd miss her. Nothing I could think of seemed right. She smiled again, tears running down her face.

"It's okay. I'm going home. Thank you, Felix."

Behind me, I heard Jane gasp.

"It's a girl. Felix, she's beautiful."

I didn't care. I kept looking at Susanna.

She closed her eyes, a gentle smile on her lips. Somewhere in the distance, I heard my baby cry, but I couldn't bring myself to look. Susanna's breathing slowed as she drifted further and further away from me. Her heart was getting weaker, with more time in between every beat.

I held her hand in both of mine, noting how her skin was cold and clammy. Her face was pale, her cheeks and lips already losing colour.

This is what she wants.

I kept telling myself this over and over again. Susanna wanted to die. I closed my eyes and placed the palm of her hand against my cheek. She was struggling, her breathing laboured, her heartbeat weakening. It wouldn't be long now.

The gaping hole that Lucy's death had left reopened as I was slowly losing Susanna. The pain I felt was almost unbearable. I ran my nose over her pulse, breathing the sweet, honey-like smell that was so distinctly her. I pressed my lips against the place where her heartbeat was strongest, and I could almost taste the blood underneath her skin.

Seconds ticked by, slow and torturously, between each beat of her heart and each rise of her chest. More time passed after every sign of life. She was so close now…

I couldn't do it; I couldn't watch her die…

She would hate me for this, I knew it, but at that moment, I didn't care. I slowly and deliberately sank my teeth into her skin, fully intent on bringing her back to me and keeping her here. Susanna would live, even if it killed me to do it.

Really, did you think he was just going to let her die? *lol*

Announcement:

I'll be writing a sexy o/s for MyVampFiction's Wicked Wednesday, which will be published at the end of September. I need YOU to help me decide what it will be about! Please go to my profile and vote for the option you want to see! So far I seem to have pervy readers...me likey...

Thanks to:

Jkane180 - For being so superfast and reassuring me I was doing it right.

SusanAshlea - For helping me through this chapter

Megsly and Jules - For your pre-reading skillz and, in Meg's case, HILARIOUS skittles!

xoxo