Brooke's party was set up perfectly. The music was set on a mix tape and catered to everyone; the drinks were very much the same. I sat with Brooke waiting for everyone to arrive making gentle conversation and marvelling at her beautiful dress. People soon started arriving including Scott and just like we predicted Brooke was drunk within an hour. I began talking to Scott since Brooke was pretty incoherent. Things weren't the same between us. I must have really stuffed this friendship up; I just wish I knew what I had done wrong!

Soon Scott started drinking three drinks to my one and before long he had lost the ability to walk straight. He laughed and giggled at the smallest of things from the cat in the corner grooming itself to the music being loud. He had no idea what he was doing. He mumbled under his breath something about Jordan. Most likely something about him being an idiot I thought.

"You know" I started "you always call Jordan an idiot but..." Scott turned to look at me "But you never say why he's such an idiot. How would you even know?" Scott looked back at the drink in his hand closely examining its every contour. "He's an idiot because..." Scott looked up at me, "because he's not with you"

I was shocked! What?! He's an idiot because he's not with me? What kind of reason is that? I shook my head "I don't believe that" I said to him. And I didn't how could he expect me to believe such trash? But I suppose he was drunk after all.

But that pathetic little comment was far from the worst I would hear that night.

As the night went on, the music got louder, the tension got lighter and Scott got drunker. His comments getting more and more strange and pathetic. Why do guys insist on doing this to girls?! They take us on an emotional rollercoaster and just love to watch us suffer! Like with Jordan, one day he makes me think that there is a chance for us to work out together and then the next day I'm dirt again.

And even though the situation with Scott wasn't quite the same he was still doing the same thing to me. One day we're close and the next he's ready to rip out my throat. This is ridiculous.

Eventually I got sick of hearing Scott talk and was getting frustrated by what he was saying. Apart from the fact that he was insulting Jordan he was also insulting me, I'm an idiot for giving him my time of day and he's an idiot for not going out with me blah blah BLAH! I grabbed my bag to leave.

Scott followed me to the front of the house whilst I waited for my ride home. He sang drunkenly next to me. And again started with his 'he's an idiot' routine. I couldn't stand it anymore, I snapped.

"What the hell is wrong with you Scott?!" I yelled "one minute you're calling me a close friend and the next I'm nosey give it a few weeks and I'm back to a close friend again!" whilst I was yelling and ranting I didn't breathe, my mind was racing with all sorts of things to abuse him for and my mouth was obeying. He hung his head. What is the point of this I thought he's probably so drunk he thinks I'm Santa Claus! But I continued my rant more for my benefit to get things off my mind.

Tears swelled in my eyes but I needed to ask one last question, "what did I do wrong Scott?" with this he looked up; his bloodshot eyes also beginning to tear up oh god! I thought I've made the guy cry! How pathetic! I should just leave now to save him the act. I forced myself to stay. I needed to hear his answer.

"You looked right past me" he said softly. His drunk slurred speech now sad but clear. I stood confused trying to figure out what he meant. "You spent all this time talking about Jordan! Not once did you ever realise that I was there all along and I was the one that gave a crap! Not Jordan"

I was still trying to absorb what had just happened when the car pulled up. I took one last look back at my friend. How could I have done that to him and not known. While I was preoccupied in waiting for Jordan I never thought that maybe someone was waiting for me. I certainly didn't expect the person to be such a close friend. I certainly didn't expect Scott.

I didn't tell Anne or Sue what had happened between Scott and I there was really no need to. I think Sue had worked it out a little and Anne probably did too. To them the situation probably sounded stupid. But I know that they will find out eventually anyway, there is only so long that you can keep something like that to yourself.

Well that was a little while back now. And things have certainly changed. I realised that it was stupid to keep waiting for Jordan; if he really liked me like Sue kept saying then he would make something happen. He shouldn't need me to keep waiting. Scott and I have never been as close as we were before the fight but at least we're still friends. We still talk but not so much about Jordan anymore.

When Jordan passes me in the corridor or sits near me in classes I still get butterflies but now I think I have learnt to suffocate them and hide them away. It's probably a huge shock to Jordan to see me actually relax around him! Things have certainly been easier without him on my mind all the time.

One thing that I have learnt through this whole experience is that you need to look around constantly. I was too focused on Jordan to truly see Scott, not that I would have acted on it but at least I wouldn't have made him feel so bad. But Scott, well he was smart and he managed to focus on me as well as look around and find Emma. I was too focused on the waves in the distance that I missed the one carrying me all along. And for that I am sorry.

So you would think that with this experience I'd have an easy ride with relationships from here on in huh?

Well... Promises, promises