Shifty awoke to find that he was fucking freezing, sitting up with a start to find that he was in he and Lifty's van. He shook his head to wake himself up as he looked over to see Lifty asleep in the passenger's seat, oblivious to where they were apparently. This was.. odd. He knew he died, but usually they respawned in their apartment. Speaking of which where was that? He turned to look out the window at where their apartment building should be, paling at seeing instead a pile of rubble in its place.
"Lifty.." He reached over and shook his brother, the younger raccoon giving a whine of annoyance and thankfully sounding like his illness had died with his last death. Shifty didn't really care though, smacking his brother upside the head to wake his ass up. "WAKE UP."
Lifty jolted awake, looking around in a panic before seeing Shifty and scowling at him. "What the fuck was that for?" He rubbed at his cheek with his paw, frowning at Shifty before his gaze drifted behind him and he stopped to gasp.
"Is that our fucking place?!" The two of them both looked over the wreckage, turning back to each other at the same time.
"What do we do now?" Lifty asked, rubbing at his arm seeming to expect Shifty to have an answer. To which the older twin seemed kind of lost.
"Guess we're living in here again till they rebuild or we find a new place." He shrugged and leaned back in the seat, trying to think of what they could possibly do. They both haven't had to live in the car for a few years now, not since they first moved to town. That was in summer though and Shifty did not want to waste gas on making sure the two of them didn't freeze to death.
"This sucks." Shifty turned to look at Lifty who was now slouched down in the car seat looking miserable.
"It'll be fine dude. I'm sure we can find somewhere cheap to stay. But for now let's not dwell on it, we probably gotta work on getting some money."
"Oh fuck you're right." Lifty groaned, slapping a paw to his forehead. "Was everything in the apartment?"
"Er.." Shifty paused to glance into the back, wishing that they hadn't taken everything in earlier than usual. "Yep seems so.."
"Great. That's amazing."
"Don't be such a baby. It'll be like old times now."
"Yeah good old times when we were just sticking to pick pocketing."
"Hey. How about we go see if someone's died so we can jack their place?"
"Fine I guess, I still need to eat dude. I died yesterday because Splendick didn't want me making my own food."
"I figured he'd kill you too, I ended up getting my head lasered off."
"At least you didn't have to fall one story before being crushed by the ceiling." Shifty snickered at that, bringing a paw up to cover his mouth.
"Really? Did he shove you through the floor or something? You two roughhousing?"
"No I fell through a hole, you dick. Let's just not talk about it." Lifty grumbled and turned away to look out the window, Shifty rolling his eyes at his brothers tantrum as he started up the car.
"Talking about it is supposed to help." He smirked at Lifty again, turning the heat way up before starting to drive to one of their usual hang out spots.
"Oh shut up asshole." Lifty growled at him, reaching to buckle himself in. It was no fun being flung through the windshield and multiple deaths had taught him it was better to be safe than sorry.
Shifty just laughed at him, driving them off to one of their favorite back alley hangout spots and parking next to the wall. He switched the van off and leaned back in his seat, sighing a little as he brought a paw up to rub at his forehead.
"Alright Lift." He said after a few moments, closing his eyes to try and think up a plan. Sometimes he hated being the leader of their duo, not a lot but usually when shit really hit the fan and it was up to him to solve it. "I think I got it. We mug someone, take the cash and at least get ourselves fed. If they have enough cash we can get a motel or something but I doubt that."
"And how exactly do you plan on us doing that?" Lifty said, shooting his brother a rather incredulous look.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's only about 10 in the morning, how do you expect us to just find someone and snatch the goods without a whole bunch of witnesses?"
It was at that moment that both of them heard a rather frantic tapping on the passenger's side window, looking over to see Nutty standing there with his trademark smile.
"Hey guys! You have anymore candy?!" He could barely contain his excitement as he jumped up and down next to the van, grubby paws smearing tootsie pop residue all over the window. The twins paused before slowly looking over at each other, each snickering right on cue with the new beautiful opportunity. Shifty got out first, smirking over at Nutty as he walked over to him.
"Of course! We always have your stuff, Nutters!" Shifty stepped in front of Nutty, holding a paw out to rest on the squirrels shoulder to avoid him getting too excited. He didn't exactly have a shower anymore to be rinsing candy out of his fur.
"Yeah! Don't worry we got you buddy." Lifty popped open his door, stepping out and standing behind Nutty as he waited for Shifty to give him the signal.
"Oh gosh you guys are the best! I'm so happy I ran into you! I mean I didn't think that I'd find you here but you know I was on my way to Flaky's because she's throwing blah a party blah blah and blah blah blah." Both of the raccoons tuned out Nutty's ramblings, Shifty shooting Lifty a grin as he nodded for Lifty to go ahead with the plan.
Shifty stepped out of the way as Lifty kicked Nutty hard in the back of the knees, sending the lime furred candy addict sprawling out on the ground. He looked honestly dazed and before he could even say lollipop Shifty had kicked him hard in the side. Nutty yelped and tried to move away, Lifty coming in to stomp down hard on his stomach and have the squirrel curling up into the blow. Ultimately Nutty was stuck between the two of them and focused on covering his head from their blows, not wanting to lose a sucker or any of the sweets plastered to his fur.
After a few minutes of bonding over beating the shit of out Nutty they stepped back, both catching their breath as Shifty leaned down to snatch Nutty's wallet. They both laughed again and Shifty turned to run back to the drivers seat of the car. Lifty looked down at Nutty one last time, the squirrel shaking and coughing up blood. He snickered and reached down to rip the candy apple away from the fur on his head before jumping back into the van. The two of them soon speeding off down the alley way and back out onto the main road where they each laughed at just how easy that whole 'heist' was, if you could even call something like that a heist.
"Did you see his fucking face?!" Shifty laughed, tossing the wallet into Lifty's lap for him to count the cash.
"Oh my god! Priceless!" Lifty laughed right along with Shifty looking down at the candy apple he stole and turning it to the side that wasn't covered in fur.
"AND you took his fucking candy!" Shifty slowed the car for a moment as he lost it, laughing even harder at Lifty who only grinned over at him.
"What can I say? I'm hungry!"
The two of them laughed for a while, both cracking jokes about how well that had gone as Shifty looked for a good place to park and hide out, deciding on another alley though it wasn't really as well hidden. He turned to face Lifty again, who was rolling down the window to toss out the half eaten candy apple.
"Did you count the cash yet?" Shifty didn't really wait for an answer, reaching over to snatch away the wallet.
"Did you not see I was busy eating?" Lifty rolled the window back up and shuddered a bit just from the cold air outside getting in for even a short amount of time.
"Guess I have to do everything then." He gave Lifty a look of mock exasperation, opening up the wallet to count the cash. Shifty pulled out thirty seven dollars in cash and a few sticks of some fruity childrens brand gum.
"Not a lot?"
"No. Expected that much. Enough to eat but not to stay anywhere."
"Maybe if we get lucky another person will just walk right up to us and we can?" Lifty said, reaching over to give his brother a playful shove.
"Doubt it." Shifty rolled his eyes, both of the brothers soon jolting surprise at the loud bang that crashing into the top of their van.
"What are you two doing?!" Splendid shouted, looking down at the two of them through the window shield, sitting on the top of their car.
"Hey get the fuck off my car!" Shifty shouted, rolling down the window to lean out and reach up to try and tug the hero off of the roof of the van. Splendid pulled away and hopped of the roof to land next to the car, still frowning at the two as he walked to the front of the van.
"You two up to no good again?" He questioned, eyeing Shifty as the raccoon fell back into his seat.
"What gave you that idea?!" Lifty sneered at Splendid, leaning forward to look at him over the hood.
"Well why else would you two be stationed out in a dark alley?" Splendid leapt up and onto the hood of the van, Shifty getting even more furious at the fact that the hero kept touching his car.
"Maybe because you broke down our fucking house?!" Lifty snapped right back at him, glaring up at him and both of the thieves looking ready to kill this dude. Or at least try to.
"I didn't mean to! I'm sorry alright?!"
"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it!" Both of them screamed in unison, each of them snarling up at the squirrel still standing on the hood.
"Well what do you want me to do!? Let you jerks come live with me!?"