I don't own skins.

Naomi

She stepped out onto the street, glancing at the clouds that seemed to be moving by very quickly, and, instead, decided to focus on the shadows moving across the pavement at a similar pace. She remembered, in their old house, before her dad left, when she would wake up early on a Saturday and watch those same quickly moving shadows flit across the white lace curtains in her room. She used to love watching it, trying to guess when the light would come flooding back into the room, before disappearing again. She would just lie in her bed, enjoying the smell of breakfast that her father always cooked on Saturday mornings, warmly wrapped up in her sheets.

Her mind turned to Emily, as it had so many times since the night of the show. She had expected Emily to be as completely freaked out by her violent outburst as she was. She was terrified of the complete wild rage that erupted in her when Jared decided to call Emily a bitch. She was pretty sure that she had worked herself into a frenzy trying to keep controlled around the redhead, and it exploded the second that drunken idiot opened his mouth. Emily, however, seemed to be fine with it all, though slightly more thoughtful than usual afterwards.

She had mostly come to expect the excessive thinking. She loved watching those brown eyes stare ahead at nothing, as her brow furrowed adorably and she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, sucking on it, before popping it back out, over and over.

She was so angry at Effy for coming back to the table when she did. She was also extremely grateful. She wasn't sure what was happening, and didn't think about much at that point, content to just sit near Emily, letting the static atmosphere around them crackle. They had continued on with their night, and after Emily sat quietly for a few minutes watching everyone interact, she charmed her way into everyone's heart immediately. Even Effy seemed to like her, which was rare.

"So…she seems pretty interesting," Effy stated, watching Emily walk towards the bar to get the next round of drinks.

"Interesting? What does that mean?" She knew she sounded defensive, but she couldn't help it.

"It means she's interesting. She's different."

"Whatever." She didn't want to continue the conversation, especially not with Effy. "Yeah, she is cool." Naomi tried to change the subject, but the alcohol hindered her from thinking of a new topic.

Effy stared at her for a second, and Naomi tried to stare back, without looking guilty or fearful. "You seem…glowy."

"Um…excuse me? Did you just say glowy? I think you made that word up."

"Something is brighter about you."

"Okaaaay…"

"Here, gin and tonic." Emily appeared suddenly with three drinks in her hands. "I got them to put two limes in it." She held up two fingers, and winked. Naomi grinned, despite the fact that she felt Effy's eyes on her. She immediately brushed the grin off and felt her face turn red.

The rest of the night got hazier and hazier. The memories all had a red tint to them. Naomi and Emily had shared "accidental" touches and random staring contests all night, even when the entire group was around. And they still interacted with everyone else in between. They all sat, talked and laughed for hours. Emily just seemed to fit right in. Cook thought she was hilarious. She seemed to be a relaxed enough person to click very easily and instantly with Freddie, and Panda loved everyone, so there wasn't much of a challenge there. She didn't think she had even seen Effy and Emily exchange more than a few words and some curious observant glances, but she didn't get any sort of unpleasant vibes between the two, so she thought it was going well.

She went to see Matt the next day and broke up with him without even raising her voice. His hangover seemed to cushion the emotional blow and Naomi couldn't even muster any sadness. She hadn't even thought of him since then. Her mind, instead, had been filled warm brown eyes and bright red hair. She was trying to decide what it all meant, trying to sort it out, but her thoughts were cut short as she had arrived at the library.

She walked in, breathing deeply, the smell of books calming her. She headed in the direction of the giggles coming from the children's section. In a tight knit cluster in the corner sat a group of children, crowded around an older blonde woman. They were all looking down at a few giant children's books trying to pick one. "I agree Jacob. I'm not a fan of that one either. The lead female spends the entire story perpetrating negative female stereotypes, brainwashing children everywhere." The small boy nodded his head earnestly, agreeing with everything, though he clearly didn't understand any of it. "Okay, well I like the one with the animals. How is everyone feeling about that one?" The children cheered a resounding 'Yes!' and Naomi made her presence known. "Naomi darling, you are cutting it close. Everyone, Naomi is here! We can start." They cheered, as she received little waves and hellos from tiny hands and voices.

Naomi had been helping her mother one Saturday morning every month with storytelling hour at the library. She was forced to be the puppeteer as her mother read the stories. At the end, she put on a tiny show with her own voices, usually adding on to the story they had already read, just to fill out the hour. She always felt so stupid, but got into it a little more after meeting the kids. Most of them had parents that worked all the time or weren't around. She remembered being that age after her father had gone, and her mother spent most of her time moping around the house or off yelling at protests. She understood how much these kids needed some actual fun in their lives. She liked that she could make these kids laugh a little just by being silly with a few glorified sock puppets.

She was acting out a particularly animated scene with what was supposed to be a lion and a bear, but was actually a cat and a dog. Their puppet selection was limited. She was using a deep and dopey voice for the bear and a growling voice for the lion. As the children giggled at a particularly silly line, she heard something else among their laughter. It sounded like a husky laugh, followed by a snort. She looked up and was met with a familiar pair of brown eyes full of laughter. She turned bright red and slipped off her chair a little. Luckily, they were almost through the story. As she finished, she felt especially stupid as she and her mother made their traditional bow to their rapt audience. She quickly stuffed the puppets into the bag and sauntered over to the redhead.

She was standing with her arms wrapped around two books held to her chest and her bag hanging off her shoulder. She looked gorgeous, as always, and bit her lip as Naomi nervously approached. "I had no idea you were such a performer. I felt like there were real animals in the library. Almost went to call Animal Control." Emily smirked and as much as Naomi wanted to be angry at her teasing, she couldn't help but return the smirk.

"Well, I'm a method actor. Spent a week in the woods for this role."

"That is dedication." Naomi glanced at the books in Emily's arms.

"Kafka and Jane Eyre. Bit of variety, huh?"

"Well I'm returning this," she held up the Kafka book, "if you ever want to know what it is like to be an insect, it is informative," she chuckled at her own joke, though Naomi had no idea what she was talking about, "…and checking this out…again. I've read it like ten times, just can't seem to get enough." Naomi saw another book sticking out of her bag.

"And that one?" Emily blushed.

"That one is mine…just some Harry Potter…you know. I'm a bit addicted, to be honest." She looked so cute, loaded down with books, and blushing while talking about Harry Potter.

"Well…what are you doing right now?" She didn't know why she was doing it, but for the umpteenth time this week, Naomi wanted to hang out with Emily Fitch.

"I…well I was mostly just going to check this out and then, well…go read it."

"Coffee?" She held her breath.

"What?"

"Um, would you like to get some coffee? I mean, I know you work at a coffee shop, so you might be tired of it or something but I just thought…"

"I never get tired of coffee."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo

As they got their drinks and sat down at a table, Naomi realized it was the first time, other than their unfortunate first meeting, and playing soccer, that they were hanging out during daylight. Naomi was suddenly very nervous.

"So, what was that whole things about insects before?" It was the first thing she thought of.

Emily giggled, "Well, I was reading that collection of short stories by Kafka and one of them was Metamorphosis. It's about a guy who wakes up and has turned into a giant bug...like a beetle or something." Naomi just sits and stares at her, unable to tell if she is serious or not.

"Seriously?"

Emily just laughs loudly at Naomi, and from there they continue, as they usually seem to, smoothly and without realizing how long they are chatting. They sit and discuss books and movies and random stories for an hour.

"You know, I feel like I haven't seen you in a while."

Naomi agrees, but decides not to say so. "It's only been a few days. Less than a week, even."

"Yeah, I know. You're right." She shakes her head at herself, and Naomi almost tells her how much she has thought about her, just to make Emily stop looking so embarrassed like she did at that moment. Emily looked down at her coffee cup shyly, and looked back up at Naomi through her long eye lashes. "I had a great time the other night. It was really a lot of fun."

Naomi smiled widely, "I'm glad. We should do it again sometime. I mean, we go out a lot, you know, just to do random stuff. I think we're doing something tonight, actually. You could, um, join. I mean, if you don't have plans..." Naomi watched Emily's lips spread slowly into a wide grin, and without thinking, Naomi was smiling back.

"I could definitely do that, if they don't mind me tagging along."

"No, they love you. Be careful though…I think Cook might be developing a bit of a crush. Though, you are a bit tamer than Cook's usual type."

"Oh, well I'm not sure what that means…" Emily's face seemed to fall a bit, but she shook it off. "Well, you can tell Cook he is not really my type." She laughed a little to herself.

"Right of course. But what…um, what is your type?" She could not believe the question came out of her mouth. She felt her skin become warm and her eyes widen.

"Well…normally, um…girls," she smiled, fiddling with the lid on her cup, "but I won't say 'always', because I hate absolutes. And..Let's see," she looked up and to the left, making her thoughtful face, causing Naomi to smile. She watched her as she mulled it over. She loved the way she always thought for a few minutes about questions, to make sure she got her answer worked out thoroughly enough. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, and Naomi's eyes kept glancing towards the small hairs curling on the back of her neck, looking almost blonde as the light shone through them. The skin on there looked so smooth and Naomi had thought she had rarely seen anything as hypnotizing as Emily tracing light lines on her collar bone as she was deep in thought. She was wearing a somewhat form-fitting shirt that had four buttons at the top, three of which were unbuttoned. Naomi shook her head and trained her eyes on the table, before her mind let her eyes wander any further south. She didn't know what the hell was going on.

"Intelligent." Naomi had almost forgotten what Emily was answering. "And funny. Passionate. I don't know. Things always seem to surprise me, so specific physical attributes that I look for…well, I don't want to put my 'type'," she made air quotes, "in a box…but eyes. Eyes are important."

Naomi giggled a little, still looking down intently at the table, picking at a hole in the wood. "Ha, so they have to have eye balls. I guess that would help things." She looked up and saw Emily staring at her, not smiling, and not looking away.

"You know what I mean. They have to have that thing in their eyes. That thing that pulls you in, you know?" Suddenly Naomi's breath became shallower. She could barely move. She definitely couldn't look away. Emily's eyes were usually so warm, but right now they were smoldering. She had never felt so much from a look. She felt her ears become red and a slow burn began in her stomach.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?" Emily looked a little confused and startled by Naomi's sudden question.

Naomi considered, for half of a second, asking a different question than the one she was thinking. But felt a sudden desire to know. Like maybe it would help.

"That you…you know…liked girls. That you were gay…how did you know? If you don't mind me asking." Naomi was trying to make her voice sound less curious than she was.

"Oh, no, I don't mind." She sent a knowing smirk at Naomi. No wonder she got along with Effy so well. Suddenly, though, her face became more serious. "It's not really that easy to explain. It wasn't easy. It never is." There was that knowing look again. "Long story short…I lied to myself, pretty convincingly; from the time I was twelve until the time I was twenty. The whole process was gradual…but so sudden too. One day, after being away at school for four years, away from Katie and my family and everything, when I had finally learned to be myself, something just clicked. Things slid into place. I freaked out at first, of course. It's a big thing to realize. All the times I had been so miserable, all those times I felt left out and different…" her voice trailed off and she zoned out for a second, shaking her head. They were both quiet, lost in their thoughts.

Naomi was going over everything Emily had said, about eyes and about things shifting into place. Her heart was beating fast. She needed to leave. She needed to leave now. "Look, Em, I just remembered. I have to…go to Effy's. Before we go out tonight, I mean. I am already running late. Um, can we come by your place at ten, maybe walk over to the club from your apartment? If you still wanted to come." Naomi was already standing and Emily looked a little worried.

"Um, that sounds good. Yeah." Naomi almost sat back down to try to alleviate Emily's clearly growing anxiety, but she couldn't.

"I'll see you later Emily. Tonight will be great, I promise." And she turned and left, without looking back.

She had been so happy when she met Emily today. It was so sudden and unexpected. Everything seemed great. And then all these things that Emily was saying, they made her think about all of those things that she had purposefully not been thinking about. If I like Emily, does that mean that I am gay? Does it mean that I didn't know myself before? Or what if she is changing me. Who lets someone change them? Was she that kind of person. Naomi knew that wasn't really what she was worried about. She could adjust to liking a girl. But Emily was something else. She had never felt this way about anyone. It seemed so right. So very right. But it was a risk. It's always a risk when anyone else is involved. When you get attached. Emily was making her think about things that she had never thought of consciously. It was making her realize all of these things that she was terrified of; that maybe she could have gone through her entire life without knowing.

She felt real. It was reality in a way that she had never experienced before. Everything was sharper and clearer, and all she seemed to be able to see was Emily. Her mind was flitting back and forth between the bright, warm, witty, completely open and honest girl that she had come to know, and the terrifying Emily. The girl who was quickly burrowing into her heart, where she could easily set up camp and blow the whole thing to pieces if she chose.

She knew tonight was going to change things. She could feel it as she walked down the street, seeing the sun set, feeling something shifting in the air. She looked at everything, but saw nothing, except colors blurring past.

She wished that she was seven again; when things were simple; when she could wake up, warm in her bed, watching the light dance by, from a safe place, where nothing could touch her, not even the brightness. The brightness that she was certain would consume her.