CHAPTER 7

The sky was black above their heads, the waxing moon shimmering soft light on their fleeing forms. James, Remus, and Sirius were only two blocks away from the house, each carrying a bag of overnight gear, when James made them stop. They were going to London. In London they would be alone enough to move without watching eyes, and in London was Lily Evans. He remembered the glimmer of a silver chain thrown at a wall and then recovered by his doting hands. Her chain. While James had planned to give it to her on the train, perhaps, he thought, tomorrow would be even better.

"I'll be right back," he said suddenly. Both Sirius and Remus stopped in their tracks, glancing at each other and then him, confused.

"But-" Sirius began, speaking for both boys.

"I'm coming back, don't worry. Just- I'll be back in a minute," James said and turned away to jog to the house without another word.

The house was still frozen in its stillness, like a had spell had been cast to stop the time. Only the ticking of the kitchen clock gave any indication that the house was not empty. Nevertheless, James crept back home and into his bedroom to retrieve the chain with the little heart pendant. This he managed without error or fault, but somehow he must have alerted the household to his presence, because as he left his own bedroom a figure tiptoed to his side. It couldn't have been the stairs that had creaked or the door that had opened. He hadn't even turned on the light. He could only assume his witness had sensed him coming in the same way he sometimes sensed someone staring at the back of his neck. Or maybe she had noticed them leaving but had kept it to herself. Whatever alerted her, Althea stood by James's side, her eyes wide with trepidation.

"James?" she whispered quietly enough so that he could hear but no one else could. Her voice was smooth and high with the murmuring whisper that innocence carried.

"Go back to bed, Althea," he replied. She didn't seem convinced of his innocence, probably because he was fully dressed after midnight when she had seen him in night clothes mere hours before.

"You're all leaving, aren't you?" she asked, "It's because of those letters, isn't it?" Her lower lip quivered as she spoke. James felt the sudden need to comfort her. He didn't. She wasn't his sister. When he hesitated, she continued, "Don't worry, I won't tell. I just wish I could come with you."

"Erm-"

"Am I wrong?" she asked. Again, James hesitated. He had never heard her speak so much before, never in such long sentences. Maybe she felt safer to speak under the cover of night, but even that explanation brought with it a host of questions. He didn't want to lie to her, but it seemed like the only thing to do.

"Eh, no," he said. James was never able to do the right thing.

Althea nodded curtly, the tears behind her eyes pummelling forward in an attempt to meet air. She breathed a little too loudly for James's nerves, her airways blocked by the unpleasantness of the mucus brought by tears. "Okay. Is Remus going with you?" she asked.

James nodded.

Althea breathed out again, this time through her mouth. She wrapped herself in her own twiggy ten year old arms as if protecting herself from his words. "Will you-" she stopped herself, her words nearly drowned in the shortness in sound that comes from trying not to cry. "Will you look after him? He isn't as smart as he looks."

To James, Remus Lupin didn't look very smart at all, but he didn't say that to his little sister. "Er, okay," he replied, hoping he sounded at least a little convincing.

"And tell him-" she choked again on her tears. James couldn't help but admire her willpower; not a drop had fallen onto the girl's face, "Tell him I'm not mad."

"Why should you be mad?" James asked, unable to help his curiosity, but Althea just shook her head.

"He'll know."

"If you don't mind," James said, unable to stop himself from wondering, "why are you so upset? We're just going to the Ministry." If anything, her face grew paler. "To get help, so no one attacks the house-is that bad?" Mute again, Althea shook her head. James didn't need to whisper to a wall of silence. He sighed. "I'll do my best to protect your brother," he said. "We'll be back tomorrow night. You don't need to worry about us." He gave the petrified girl an awkward pat on the shoulder, and tiptoed back down the stairs, occasionally glancing behind him to check on her. She was watching for a little while, but soon enough she turned away, walking back into her room with an anxious sort of purpose.

Past his family's wards of protection, James sped his walk into a run. His meeting with Althea gave him more questions than answers, but he hadn't expected to find either in a discussion with Remus's eleven year old sister. He hadn't expected to discuss anything with her at all.

He found Sirius and Remus not long after in the spot where he left them. As soon as he saw him, Sirius took out his wand. "What did you have to get so badly?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," James lied. Sirius looked skeptical, but didn't press.

"Everybody ready?" Sirius asked, "No more mysterious items we've got to get from the house?"

"Just 'cause I'm not telling you what it was doesn't mean it's not important," James interjected. Sirius ignored him, and all he got from Remus was a patiently amused glance.

"Then I'm calling the Knight Bus," Sirius announced.

"Why don't you guys just apparate?" Remus asked.

"We don't have our apparition licenses yet," Sirius explained.

"Ah," said Remus, and Sirius held out his wand to summon the bus with a flourish. Before long, the hideous purple bus barrelled its way onto the quiet street, mercifully far away from the Potter's house. James climbed in first, and paid for each of their tickets.

Throughout the night witches and wizards entered and exited as they arrived at their various stops. Although usually James was a heavy sleeper, tonight he couldn't seem to fall asleep at all and so watched the quiet flow of people coming in and out. The Knight Bus tended to attract a seedier sort than he was used to seeing, whether in his neighbourhood or at Hogwarts. He watched them with sleepy fascination until his eyelids finally closed and didn't open again until he felt arms shaking his shoulder. It was still night.

"Hey, James, wake up." It was Remus. James grunted groggily, and Remus shook him again. "It's our stop. We've got to get off, now," he said, and shook Sirius.

"Hurry up," the old hag on the bus said grumpily as the three boys exited. James shot her a tired glance but didn't reply. The darkness in the summer sky and the weariness of his skin told him he hadn't slept nearly long enough. To give her a response was too tiring by far.

"The ministry won't be open right now," Remus pointed out, "it's too early."

"So what do we do?" asked Sirius.

They were looking at him, James noticed with a start. Even Remus. James shrugged, "Find somewhere to sleep, I guess. Who knows what will happen tomorrow."

"We should stay in a muggle place. I'd rather we didn't meet anyone we know," said Remus. James nodded.

"Or," said Sirius, "We could just not sleep."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Remus replied and rubbed his arms. Summer never really hit England properly to begin with, and nighttime was even colder.

"There's got to be somewhere with an opening," James said.

"Wait, did you even bring any muggle money?" Remus asked. Sirius swore and James felt a flush rise to his cheeks.

"Well, no-"

Sirius's curses became instantly more colorful.

"But there's always the exchange-" James added weakly.

"James, it's got to be two in the morning. Gringotts is closed," said Remus. Sirius continued to swear. "Si, stop it," Remus said brusquely. James sent Sirius a puzzled look at the overly familiar nickname, but Sirius didn't seem to notice. "Look, just follow me." Remus said and then suddenly set off at a quick pace on a small street veering away from Charing Cross Road, where the Knight Bus had dropped them off.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"We can just magic the money - Remus, where are you going?" asked Sirius. Remus turned the corner and they had to trot to keep up. He stopped at a building labelled 'library'. Clean white brick framed an ancient looking stone door in the shape of a Roman arch and bolted with a large, heavy, intricate-looking lock. "Why are you stopping at a library?" James asked, but Remus only glared and rolled his eyes before pressing his palm against the wall by the door and muttering something under his breath.

The lock clicked open with a whirr of gears and the door seemed to loosen, inviting them in. Remus glanced at them quickly before pushing the door open without a creak. Inside was a long hallway that looked nothing like the inside of a library. James stepped in first, hesitantly looking around. "What is this place?" he asked. The hallway smelled like the old stone it was built out of. For as far as he could see down the hallway there were periodic interlinking passages. Small candles lit its length, their flames flickering against the old rock. "Remus… Where are we?"

Remus clicked the door shut behind them. "It's a safe place… for those who know about it." It looked strange to see the old walls, to feel the coolness made by the stone's complete neglect by the sun. From the inside the door had a metal lining and frosted glass. Though it had been opaque from the outside, from the inside they could see the lamplit streets of London.

Remus began walking again, then turned right into another hallway that looked identical to the first. "Wait," James interjected, "how do you know about this place?" He could tell Remus was uncomfortable as he shrugged his shoulders.

"When my dad got fired we needed a safe place, so… someone… showed us about this one. We think this place might be just as old as it looks, too," he said.

"And how old is that?" James asked, noticing Sirius's silence. The other boy seemed deep in thought.

"No one knows. Rumours say it might have been built during the first Roman occupation of Britain," Remus said. He glanced back just before turning left again, and then right. James let out a low whistle. Finally Remus stopped in front of a doorway, plucked a candle from the wall and held it in front of him so that its light shone on the room. It cast a warm fluttering light on the the four small walls before them. "Good," he muttered under his breath and shooed them inside before placing the candle back on the wall outside. The only light left was the light flickering in from the hallway.

"Why don't we bring that in?" asked James and made a move to grab the candle. Remus's hand stopped him.

"It's better if no one can see us. You never know who else is looking for a safe place. These rooms are more protected than the hallways, but they also have only one exit. So… no lights," he said.

"We didn't have to do this, you know. We could have just transfigured some muggle money." James huffed, "This place creeps me out."

"Do you even know what muggle money looks like?" Remus replied. James glared.

"We're doing this for you, you know," he said.

"No," Remus reminded him, his voice touched by bitterness, "we're doing this for you. If it was for me, neither of you would be here. Look, I'm going to sleep. You two can do what you want."

"Do you have a problem with us?" he asked. He couldn't see very well at all, but he thought he saw Remus glance at Sirius. Something seemed to fall from Remus's face, and beneath it James caught a glimpse of hard exhaustion.

"No, James," he said, his voice sounding strangely small. "Just let me sleep." At that Remus shifted until his back was against the wall and away from any light. James glanced at Sirius, who sat with his back against the corner nearest to James, his knees pulled into his chest and looking far too large to be compacted into so tight a space. James had hoped his friend would match his exasperated gaze. Instead, Sirius looked meek and thoughtful. James looked away. He felt like he was trespassing on something private.

Sensing the quiet of the room, James found himself his own dark space and rested his head on the crook of his arm. He decided then that he hated sleeping on bare floor, especially when that floor was made of stone. Protruding cobbles stuck into his side and along his arm making it difficult for him to fall asleep with his regular speed. He tried closing his eyes and letting the silence lull him to sleep, but instead of silence his ears couldn't help but be drawn to a low thumping through the walls. Remembering what Remus had said about the other people here he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore it, but the thumping wouldn't go away. His mind jumped suddenly to what Althea had said earlier that night. "Remus," he began quietly. Remus stirred; to James's surprise the other boy had actually been sleeping on this hard ground. "I saw Althea in the house-"

For the first time in a while, Sirius spoke, "You what? Why didn't you say anything? She'll say something to James's parents-"

"Actually," James interrupted, "I don't think she will." He lifted himself up onto his side to continue talking. "The thing is, she said something weird. She wanted me to pass it on. She said, tell Remus I'm not mad. Does that mean anything to you?"

Remus didn't say anything for a minute, and then replied, "No."

"Oh," James said, disappointed. "She also said you weren't as smart as you look."

"Did she?" Remus asked.

"She did," James affirmed. Remus snorted.

"Go to sleep James," he sighed. It wasn't long before Remus's breathing once again became slow and languid, sounding hollow in the tiny room they shared. Feeling frustrated, James looked at Sirius drooping awkwardly in the corner.

"Mate are you going to sleep in the corner? Come sleep next to me," he whispered. For a moment Sirius froze. "You don't have to, Sirius. I don't mean to be a fag, you just look uncomfortable." Sirius laughed awkwardly, his laugh sounding more like a high outburst of breath than a laugh at all.

"No, it's fine," he said, and crawled over to James. James let him manoeuvre around him so that Sirius lay against the wall instead. More space this way, he thought and stretched back out in the dark space where the light didn't reach his skin, making sure to give Sirius space. He doubted Sirius would want to be crowded. His eyes closed, and he finally fell asleep to that steady pounding through the walls.

Thump. Thump. Thump. The pounding was in James's ears and reverberated through his bones. What was that noise? James got up. That clanging of metal sounded like his mother banging pots on the counter, and she only did that when she was frustrated. What had Ethel from her witch's book club said this week?

He got up from his bed and walked to the thumping. Sometimes he went the wrong way and he would stumble and bump through the corridors of his home, but then he would find his way again. It felt like the kitchen was miles away, and he still hadn't even come across the stairs.

Clang. Clang. Clang. It was growing louder now. The thumping sounded more like clanging with every step, but he didn't - couldn't - understand how his mother was making so much noise with the pots.

For a moment the noise was so loud James wanted to hold his hands over his ears and yell at his mother to ask her what she was doing banging such big pots together. The noise had stopped being distant, after all. She was close now. She was in front of him.

Then the thumping - the clanging - stopped. Suddenly. He had relaxed for a moment, but then his mother spoke. "Look what we have here. A sleepwalker. What do you think we should do about that, Adam?"

And just like that, James's eyes opened. He had been dreaming.

Fear washed him from head to toe. Not his mother, but instead two very large shirtless men soaked in their own sweat stood in front of him. Both were carrying pickaxes, and only the growing hole in the ceiling gave James any indication of what they were doing. It had to be them that had been making that thumping noise all night long. He wished he hadn't noticed.

"I can't imagine He will like that we've had to stop, can you, Collin?" the one James presumed was named Adam asked. He, like Collin, was lean and muscular, although he was a fair bit older and smaller than the other, younger man. James found himself thinking they both had a feral look about them. If they had been dogs they would have been strays with muscled legs and wild eyes and maybe even rabies. Adam crossed his arms over his chest and licked his long tongue over pointed incisors. Collin, as if on queue, took a menacing step forward. Collin was a big, young man who looked like he picked fights for a living. His step made James's stomach lurch.

"No, I can't imagine He will," Adam replied and uncrossed his arms.

James had always imagined that if he ever found himself in peril he would rise bravely to the occasion, brandish his wand and save the day. He had always known himself to be strong and honourable - it was why he was in Gryffindor, after all. Now, though, his legs felt like molten jelly and his heart quivered with the intensity of an earthquake. He felt empty save for that feeling of terror. He was helpless here. They stood in front of him, and what did he have? Nothing.

"Aw, look," Collin said, "he's scared."

"As he should be," said Adam in return. Collin held the pickaxe to James's throat, the end pricking blood from his neck. James closed his eyes. Why couldn't he think? Suddenly Collin's head turned away from him, and a moment later Adam's head turned, too. James was only able to hear the footsteps a full minute later, but couldn't react because of the blade at his throat.

In an instant Remus had tackled Collin, thrusting him away from James, and jumped on his back, causing the bigger man to howl. Remus had his arms around Collin's neck, using his legs to hang on. When Collin tried to swing his pickaxe at Remus's head, Remus bit Collin's ear and yanked with his teeth. Remus was outnumbered so long as James did nothing. Adam, seeing that Remus was the greater threat, came at Remus with his axe.

"Remus!" James shouted, warning his friend. Remus looked up and abandoned Collin's ear, thrusting the man to the ground. Collin stumbled but did not fall. Remus ducked from his swing, grabbing Adam's arms to knee him in the gut before sweeping his loosened leg. He anticipated Collin's swing, sidestepping him, backing away from his two attackers.

James watched all of this with horror, feeling helpless. For the first time he realized how strong he wasn't. It was then that Sirius, panting, wide-eyed, and confused stumbled into the small room, holding himself up with the doorway. "What the…" Sirius began fumbling in his pocket.

His pocket. James felt at his side. He hadn't even noticed his wand, hadn't even remembered it. He was a wizard, this wasn't supposed to be difficult. Especially since, James realized suddenly, neither of their attackers had wands.

"Sirius!" he cried, "they're unarmed!"

James's wand was already out. He barely remembered removing it from his pocket. He was darting quickly around the edge of the fight, trying to find a spot where he could aim properly. Remus was lost in a mess of limbs, moving so fast that James was worried his spell would hit Remus instead of his attackers. Sirius was on his other side, wand out, about to cast a spell, but the small one saw his outstretched wand and tackled him to the ground. Sirius's wand slipped from his grip. He was grasping at the earth, but Adam saw his distraction as a chance to pummel Sirius's face with his fists, his knee on his diaphragm.

There was a sudden thud from Remus's direction. "Now, James!" Remus cried at the same time that James yelled, "Stupefy!" and then "Stupefy!" again to hit the one that Remus had knocked to the ground.

James turned to where his best mate lay on the floor struggling to breathe. The other guy had knocked the wind out of him and made his face a mess of blood and bruises. James shoved the stupefied man off of him with some difficulty, giving Sirius the chance to breathe. "Jesus, mate, can you stand?" he asked. Sirius just glared and tried to heave himself up, then gave up and dropped back down.

"Sirius-" Remus said. James eyed the other boy suspiciously. A moment ago Remus had been beating up a bigger, stronger man and now he was speaking with soft gentility. It was unnerving. Unnerving as Remus was, though, James was still stuck with him at least until the end of the day, and it would do him no good to dwell while Sirius needed his help.

"Episkey," he said, and Sirius's face began its mend. A thin sheen of sweat had cropped up on James's brow. He wiped it off. It was cold.

"Thanks, James," said Remus.

"He's my best mate," James replied, trying to sound angry, but he was too shaken. He hadn't done it for Remus. In reply Remus glanced down and scratched the back of his neck. "Eh, we should probably go before they wake up," he said, bending down to help Sirius up.

"Put me down," Sirius grumbled when Remus almost lifted him into his arms, "I can walk." Remus shrugged.

The three boys left the room a little bit more slowly than they would have liked; Sirius could breathe now, but he couldn't seem to walk as well as usual. Remus led the way, stopping first at the room they'd slept in to pick up their abandoned bags, as only he knew where they were going. James couldn't have found his way back if he had tried. The hallways were like an endless cobweb and everything looked exactly the same.

They came to the exit much sooner than James would have expected, though the door didn't look quite right. Nevertheless, he pushed it open and Sirius and Remus followed. "Coloportus," James said quickly, and the door locked. It was still pitch dark outside, proof that they really hadn't slept much at all.

"This isn't-" James began.

"I know," said Remus, "it's Westminster. The ministry should be nearby. We need to find somewhere to sleep. There's a place I know, it's a bit far but it's close to Diagon Alley-"

"Bloody hell, Remus. Your last suggestion nearly got us killed," said James. The street lamps threw long shadows onto his form as he rifled through his bag for his coin purse, taking out a fistful of galleons. "Do either of you have the slightest idea of what muggle money looks like?"

Sirius outstretched his hand. "Really regretting not taking that Muggle Studies course now, aren't you?"

"Bugger off, Sirius. You and I both know you just took it so you could shag Melissa Brighton."

"And look where it's gotten me now," Sirius replied cooly with a grin. "Give it here."

James emptied his galleons into his friends hand, "You never did shag her, did you?"

Instead of replying, Sirius spelled the hunk of coins, and they unfurled into a messy stack of bills.

"I've alway thought it strange that muggles use paper for money. Paper's not even worth anything," said James, picking up a bill and carefully examining the front and back.

"Bloody hell," Sirius snorted with a shake of his head. The money transfigured, James took the bills from Sirius and waved them in his face.

"I'm holding onto this," he said.

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius, whose family usually lived in London, led the way this time. Remus straggled behind the two friends, his arms warily folded over his chest.

The closest hotel wasn't very far at all. The man tending the front desk was sleeping on his keyboard under the bright halogen lights. Sirius had to clear his throat loudly before he even noticed they were there, awaking with a start. He couldn't have been too much older than they were, maybe in his mid-twenties or so. He smacked his lips together in an attempt to wake himself, his eyes bloodshot and his face covered in a five o'clock shadow several days old.

He cleared his throat. "What you want?" he asked in a thick cockney accent.

"Just a room," Sirius replied.

"'How many beds?" he asked. James and Sirius glanced at each other.

"What's cheapest?" asked James.

The man curled his lips around as if in thought. "We've only got a two-bedder right now."

James rolled his eyes, "Well, then we'll take that. How much?"

"Sixty quid for the night," the man said. James was too tired to argue. Painstakingly he counted out sixty pounds and placed the money on the counter. The boy scribbled something in his book and then put the money in the till while James's heart thundered along, but Sirius had done well at transfiguring the money.

They were given the keys without fanfare, after which the boys stumbled tiredly into their room. "I'll sleep on the floor," Remus volunteered as they walked up the steps. James felt a hint of relief. He hadn't wanted to share his bed with Remus either.

"Why not just share the bed with James and I?" Sirius asked, and James shrugged, but Remus just shook his head.

"Naw, I'll sleep on the floor."

When they entered the simple room there was a lounge chair nestled into one corner. "I'll sleep on that instead, if that's fine," Remus said, changing his mind. James shrugged and went to claim the bed on the room's far side. He shoved his hands in his pockets to check that Lily's chain was still where he'd left it. It was, but he didn't know how much longer he could count on luck to keep it there. He fastened it around his own neck, not caring that the heart-shaped pendant looked girly.

"What's that?" Sirius asked. James flinched. He had hoped that Sirius wouldn't notice.

"Uh, it's Lily's necklace. She dropped it that day she asked me out," he said sheepishly as he took off his shirt, then pants. He could hear the other two boys changing behind him, too.

"And you didn't give it back to her?" Sirius asked from behind him, sounding dumbfounded.

"I'm going to!" James protested, shoving on his pyjama top.

Sirius snorted, "And until then you'll look a right poof. You should add earrings while you're at it."

"Lay off it, Sirius," Remus grumbled, and for once James didn't want to punch him in the face.

"I'm just teasing. James knows that, eh James?" Sirius said with his usual easy nonchalance. James did know.

"You're just jealous because she won't fuck you," James said. He slipped under the sheets and pulled them around his head.

"She won't fuck you either!" Sirius pointed out. Looking at his friend, James noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"But she's going to fuck me, mate. That's the difference. She'll never fuck you," James yawned. "Just wait, Si. It'll be legs and cunt for me till my dying day."

Sirius snorted, "Maybe in your dreams. Oh wait, she rejects you there, too."

"You've got that wrong. Dream Lily is very enthusiastic," James corrected him, his eyes closing.

"You two are disgusting," said Remus from the chair in the corner. Not me, I'm in love, James meant to reply, unaware that he hadn't said it out loud because he had already fallen asleep.

It always mystified Sirius how quickly James could fall asleep, and how heavily, too. He waved his hand in James's face. Nothing. After a moment he turned, feeling the weight of a gaze on his back. "What?" he asked Remus, who sat in his chair watching him. For a moment he didn't say anything.

"Why were you saying those things?" he asked.

"What?" Sirius asked back, hoping Remus didn't mean what he thought he did.

"You know, to James, about Lily," Remus said. Sirius backed up to the bed's headboard and shrugged uncomfortably.

"We're guys, we joke about stuff like that."

"You don't," said Remus. Sirius made the mistake of catching his eyes with his own. They were tender and soft like he hadn't expected them to be, and it made him feel like crumbling.

"Not around you," Sirius insisted anyway. When Remus didn't say anything, he felt the need to keep talking, "It's funny. We insult each other and say dirty stuff — do you really not do that?"

Remus shook his head. "What about what you said about Lily? Did you really try-"

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time. Can we not talk about this?" he asked. For a moment, Remus looked almost hurt, and Sirius found himself hurting, too. He didn't want to see Remus sad. But then, Remus brightened. He was doing it for him, Sirius knew, and the thought made him feel both good and bad. The other boy lifted himself from the chair and went to Sirius. He placed a finger underneath his chin, tilting his face to his. He kissed him tenderly, and Sirius felt his heart leap in his throat. All he wanted was to touch him, for Remus to touch him back.

He thought about stopping him, about reminding him of James sleeping right there, but he couldn't. Instead of saying no, Sirius pulled him close and kissed him. He rested his hands on Remus's hips, keeping them where he needed them to be. Remus's hands ran over his naked arms, and it felt as electric as if he were standing in a lightning storm.

Wanting, wanting, Sirius moved his hands, but Remus drew back and the world grew dim. "You're thinking about James," Remus whispered, his face just inches away. Sirius knew he was right, but right now he didn't care.

"I wasn't," he lied. He could read the doubt in Remus's face, but apparently Remus didn't care either, because a moment later he and his mouth were back where they were meant to be.

His lips throbbed when they stopped. He ached, helped all the more by laying in Remus's arms. James's snores were quiet but loud in the silence of the room. It was like Remus was magic, and just by being there he could make everything better. The ache for James hurt less when he was there, and he was cute and sensitive and he listened like he really cared. No one else did that like Remus did.

He trailed his fingers along Remus's stomach, felt him tense with his touch, rested his hand on his chest. "Do you like me, Remus?" he asked, and immediately regretted it. Remus's face looked pained at the question.

"Of course I do, Sirius," he replied huskily, causing Sirius to take another look. Perhaps it wasn't only pain.

"But I'm not the only one you've ever liked, right?"

Remus wouldn't look at him. "I've dated before, you already knew that."

"But have you ever been in love?" Sirius wanted to hit himself. It would have been less stupid than asking the questions he was asking. The look of pain on Remus's face deepened for an instant, he thought, but then it disappeared completely, replaced by a smile.

"Not with my best mate, if that's what you're asking," he said. It wasn't. "God, you're such a stereotype, Sirius. The closet poof that falls in love with his best friend." Sirius tried to smile, but it hurt. He hadn't thought about James in that way for ages. Why did Remus have to remind him? Why had he had to ask? He was so stupid.

"Maybe you should go back to your chair," he said, peeling himself off of Remus, not looking at his troublesome face before settling on the other side of the bed.

"Yeah, James could see. Wouldn't want that, would we?" Remus replied, lurching onto the floor before dropping into his seat.

"Nope," said Sirius.

Both boys were quiet, then, and they stayed quiet until morning.