Chapter 7
Here it is. I hope you guys enjoy it. Its truly is my fav so far. Please review.
A.N: Long chapter. I debated splitting it up but it was essential to pair B & C flashbacks together since they were thinking back to the same moments and I wanted to be done with the Kiss on the Lips Party. They are NOT telling Nate or Serena what we are seeing in their flashbacks rather we are the only ones going back- if that makes sense. The dialogue between N/C and B/S is all that they share.
Thank you for all the reivews. I really appericate it. I am happy everyone understood the C and J situation. Reviews really help me flesh out my ideas and let me know if I am being too OC with the characters. Super important for character development. Also it inspires me to think up different plot lines.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any characters from any of the series mentioned. Nor do I own any of the real places, or persons mentioned.
"To be the instrument of one's own misery..." Les Liaisons Dangereuses
This is truly a party for the ages. C and B were spotted leaving the Kiss the Lips party together after burning a hole in the dance floor after Nate was sent packing. Nate how was your party of one? Cause from here it looks like best friend choose his side in this war and you're the one standing alone.
–ooo (lets give the boy a hug) Gossip Girl
I woke up to a certain bubbly blonde dramatically throwing herself next to me on my bed.
"Blairrrr," she drawled out clearly in a happy mood probably due to whatever that Dan guy was packing between his horrible Old Navy jeans. Pretending to be sleep with my eye mask still on hopeful that she would leave I needed time to process last night.
"Come on I know you are up. Blair, it's Sunday morning. Coffee, croissants, Breakfast at Tiffany's." she said yet again in a singsong voice. I groaned as I pulled the mask away. I wonder if being blonde means you are happy on principle.
"We are not friends Serena. Remember you slept with my boyfriend? Sharing pizza was for Eric not for you," I said sitting up on the bed throwing off the mask.
"I brought done-dry caps and croissants," she responded smile never leaving her face (1). My stomach rumbled. I was up late trying to rid the image of Chuck out of my mind or better yet deal with the desire he caused. I was furious with him for working me up again and leaving me horribly turned on. Not being able to sleep after I arrived home, I fought the urge to masturbate to the mother-chucker and resigned myself the Gossip Girl message boards.
"I don't drink them dry anymore," I told her hoping that she would just leave already and get a clue. Time and her affair created a drift between us that would not ever be mended. Case in point, she did not even know my coffee order. The frustration I was feeling was building too early in the morning and I regretted not giving in to him last night or giving in to my own self-pleasure.
"But Blair Waldorf would never forgo her love of croissants," she said as she shook the bag letting aroma work its way to me.
"Chocolate?" I weakly asked. Damn my weakness of all things French.
"Chocolate and raspberry croissants," she offered. I held my hand out to take my cappuccino and croissant from her without a word. I had not forgiven her I told myself rather I was hungry. "I see you changed the decor in your room." I did not acknowledge the lack of décor and picture frames that were being shipped soon. When those picture frames came in I doubt she would be in any of them.
"So are we going to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's and pretend that I don't hate you?" I asked.
"No. I am here to talk to you about last night," she said her smile faltering. "I am sorry about showing up to the party. It is just Dan was worried about Jenny and he wanted to make sure she was okay. But in the cab ride she explained that she went up with Chuck with the intention of you know chucking him and got scared. She was very excited about being on Gossip Girl, which worked. She said something about being nothing if you are not talked about which I knew sounded familiar," she said pointedly at me. I nodded to myself at the very true philosophy that dictated my life. "Anyway, She handled herself well but Dan is very overprotective of her," Serena explained.
"So is this Dan why you are in such a good mood? Did you serena him?" I asked throwing back the fact that she was well known for sleeping around as Chuck was for umm chucking.
"We did not. He waved," she mumbled becoming more sober and a lot less cheerful.
"Hmm he wasn't your type? No girlfriend?" I asked smugly. Instead the former Queen of Constance looked down and away unable to meet my gaze. The same way she looked the past couple of days. I knew she felt guilty and it was eating away at me. Before I knew it, I was asking her question even though I knew if I let the silence continue she would leave. "Why were you even out with Brooklyn?" I smiled remembering GG's Brooklyn trash comment. I have to love her sass.
"It is just a bridge that separates us," she told me clearly becoming more apprehensive without a smile. I rolled my eyes at her nonsense. It was a bridge and a social class. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "I saw the video with Nate. I am sorry he went there looking for me" she said in a quiet voice.
"He seems to be obsessed with you," my comment clearly laced with sarcasm.
"I am sorry. I don't want Nate. I never did."
"You may have not wanted him but you took him." I could have gotten her to leave already but my therapist encouraged healthy communication and not bottling up my emotions until it proved too much. A cat-fight counted, right?
"Blair I am sorry. I know that you may not be ready to forgive me right now but I hope you will one day. I miss you. Just because we aren't friends doesn't mean we can't be," she told me with a smile (2). Her comment weirdly making me smile before I realized what I was doing. She grinned in response and nudged me with her shoulder. "Come on, I have been dying for the rundown of last night. Since my date ended early with a wave, I spent the night on Gossip Girl with Eric eating popcorn, reading everything. Clearly it was a party that won't ever be forgotten."
"Happy my life can be so amusing," I told her bitterly. The silence crept back into the room as I picked on the french pastry while Serena sipped on her coffee. We were in the same room on the same bed neither one knowing if this friendship could truly be mended.
"The video with Nate was pretty intense," she said sympathetically trying once again after what felt like minutes.
Gossip Girl exceeded herself this time and uploaded a video of the argument late last night. The post generated a lot of comments and ideas about what we were fighting about. Most of them were speculating that Chuck and I were having an affair making the love triangle now a love square. They had noticed my statement about Nate's parents and now there was a popular albeit hilarious conspiracy theory running around about it all. Apparently, they believed that Anne Archibald was an UES madam and I was threatening to expose them. Of course, Chuck was Anne's partner in the sex ring and I was running the financials but attempting to pin it on the Archibald family. I must admit they were clever and spent too much time watching Law & Order.
"Yea that sucked," I said I got up from the bed making sure to dust any crumbs off my perfect sheets. My emotions were running both ways.I felt somewhat guilty about the whole occurrence while understandably furious with Nate.
"Could you guess what he was going to threaten me with?" My soft question betraying my vulnerability. I was afraid that soon everyone would piece it together my illness. I told Nate about my illness when Serena left. My therapist said I needed a support system and the only person that came to mind was Nate espeically with everything that was happening with my father. He was confused and look uncomfortable but talked to me about it that day. He never brought it up again and neither did I. I did notice that he would encourgae our dinner dates more after that but he seemed at a lost at what to do or what I needed. I figured that he did the most he could but he was a young male teen who could not grasp the emotions and need to purge I often had. I felt silly telling my therapist that my boyfriend was unable to support me the Serena used to so I stopped attending our sessions until Friday. How quick he was willing to use it against me was shocking and telling.
"You can't really make anything after the word 'after' but the whoosh cause whoever was recording it had to be standing next to Chuck and he hit the camera on his way to pinning Nate against the wall…So you had something on Nate's parents?" she asked clearly having read the comment board.
"I do not pay for my Jimmy Choos with the earnings from a brothel," I said haughtily and her smile broke out into a laugh. Finally, I broke down and told her that I sent Anne photos.
"What were the photos of?" Serena questioned further. My guilt increased under her gaze. I huffed and walked into my bathroom to begin my morning routine leaving the door open in a silent invitation. I was furiously brushing my teeth when she leaned on the doorframe.
"Blair. I am not here to judge you. You do not have to tell me anything. I figured it would be good to have a sounding board," she told me.
Once I finished rinsing my teeth, I sat down on the edge of the tub. "I sent Anne photos of the Captain with other women. Taking them into her home and going at it there. And I had a photo of him at a party with women doing lines," pausing I looked at her and she urged to continue. "I guess I rationalized it with the idea that she deserved to know as much as I know and that she will be stronger because of it. I cannot imagine whatever argument I caused in their household that Nate felt the need to get so drunk. Even still my main motivation was to hurt him the way I felt hurt."
"I see. To be honest Blair you do not seemed that hurt. I mean you could have tried to run me out of the city but you didn't. You could have destroyed his family by sending it to Page Six or something," she assessed.
"Watch out I still could send you back," I told her halfheartedly. "I think I felt numb by the whole thing and my ummm… episode was a release of that emotions. Honestly, I have been feeling amazingly tired and hurt. But I also feel a little bit of relief. My therapist said something about my breakup with Nate releasing me from this life of perfection that I created for myself. I still feel the need for revenge because I feel like it is what I am supposed to want."
"Is that how you feel… like you are living a false perfect life?" she asked.
"A masquerade..." I whispered to my self as I looked at my hands desperate to not look up at her. "It's so tiring," I said with tears in my eyes finally looking at her and letting her into my pain.
"Oh Blair," she came to sit beside me "is that how you felt all this time? I always thought you had the perfect life with the perfect family and at least one parent loved you so dearly... Lily was never there for me and my father disappeared on me and Eric... Then there was Nate who was so understanding and willing to wait for you while I can't remember all the guys who just used me for sex," her voice cracking on the word sex. Clearly all the fun and living it up I thought she was enjoying was taxing. "Blair, you were also so brilliant in school and everything you did you aced... ballet, horseback riding... And I felt I could never compete with you and I was just holding you back. That one day you will outgrow me," she said with tears flowing down her face. I realized that tears were coming down mine.
"Oh, Serena.. I always felt like I was just a sidekick in your life standing in all your sunshine. You were the girl that everybody wanted and every girl wanted to be. Everything came easy to you. Everyone loved you and everyone just fears me. The girls at school...my mother...Nate all seemed to love you more... You always got away with the craziest things that I could never do. You are so free and wild... S, I have nothing now, no bestfriend, no boyfriend, no father to dote on me...Nothing to be jealous of now" I confessed to her my tears escaping. Sometime in the conversation, she grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers.
With a sad laugh, Serena said, "have we been jealous of each other this whole time?"
"Quite possibly," I turned to hug her. She hugged me back tightly. I felt a release of anger leave me in that moment. I knew that we may not be where we were before this and it would take a long time until we got there but I was willingly to work on this if she was. Pulling back from me, she told me how sorry she was about everything that happened with Nate. Promising me it was a drunken mistake.
"What did you do to him? He actually is obsessed," I said laughing.
"I don't know why. Let's just say he was quite selfish in the encounter and I have no desire to repeat it." I laughed and made a joke about dodging that bullet. I found I really was over Nate in a way that I did not think possible so soon. I think it was his cheating, wanting Serena, his drunken nights out on the city with random women Thursday and Friday, and finally the public fight last night that made me realize that Nate and I were not meant to be. I was over him and while that thought, was terrifying because I knew it was going to be hard to replace him with another trophy boyfriend who could play the part well, I was happy. Maybe this time I could go for passion instead of bloodlines.
"We need to stop laughing, crying, laughing, and get ready for the Bass Brunch." I told her after we giggled a while over Nate's aloof and silliness.
"Wait we haven't talked about Chuck. I saw those photos and the way he was looking at you when you were dancing. It is the way that I always wanted a guy to look at me," she nudged.
"That is the Bass allure. He looks at all girls that way," I informed her as I rose to wash my face and avoid her knowing looks.
"I known him for all my life he never looked at me like that," she told me. She looked at me through the mirror. I turned around only because I needed to explain these feelings somehow to someone.
"I went to him after I found out about you and Nate hoping to follow in your footsteps and sleep with the best friend. He figured out I was just using him revenge and was upset. We didn't have sex even though… I don't maybe I wanted to-"
"Wait with Chuck Bass?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes. I think he felt hurt that I used him in my revenge plot or something. I don't know. You can't tell anyone. Then last night with the whole Nate thing blowing up I was feeling down and the urged to… you know. I thought he was going to leave with Nate but he put him in his limo and came back to find me. I was in the bathroom with the minions guarding the door and fighting the urge to purge. When he came back looking for me I figured if someone I trusted with in the room I would not succumb so I let him in. He gave me a pep talk and asked me to dance. Which we did after shots hence the photos. Really it was friendly," I told her as my thoughts soon drifted into what happened last night.
After we left the bathroom, we walked down to the main floor. The lights had dimmed further and the guests were increasingly drunk. The liquor was flowing and the inhibitions of those were loosen. People were making out in the alcoves and the dancing was turning raunchier by the minute.
"Want to take a shot before hand?" he asked his hand low on my back guiding me to the bar.
"Cherry tequila shots?" I offered. I hated the taste of hard liquor and it was closest I got to the stuff. He made them a double and our eyes connected as we threw back the drink. Loving the taste of cherry and good tequila, I asked him wanted to do another. We did.
"A third Bass?" I offered. He chuckled.
"I would have to carry your ass home Waldorf." He moved to look over at my backside while his swiftly moved his hand along my ass quickly giving me little time to react beside a grasp and move closer to him. "Not like I would mind. It is a masterpiece," his gaze returned to mine and I felt the tingling in my lower stomach intensify.
I knew I was turned on by him since he looked at me in the bathroom but I foolishly thought I still had the control. Maybe it was the liquor was speaking or the lust that admittedly running through me when I said, "how about we go dance so you can see what this masterpiece can do to you." The shock on his face was clear but he never faltered in following my steps to the dance floor.
I slowly grinded on him with my back towards him front. The music was fast and we were swaying together. As the second song came on, I became more comfortable dancing with Chuck Bass. The liquor and the need to free myself from all the drama that had been happening was making me feel looser. Soon his hands were on my waist holding me to him and I felt his breath on my neck getting heavier as we pressed harder into each other. I felt his hardness pressing into me though his dress pants increasingly fueling me with a new confidence with the knowledge of his desire. I raised my hand into the air and my right hand moved up and around his head to land on his neck as I turned my head to look into his eyes and held his head so that he meet mine. Soon I was turning urged by his hands to dance with him front to front. Feeling him pressed against me fully I had to bite my lip to suppress the urge to moan. Once his gaze became too intense, I threw my head back with a drunken laugh my hands rising in the air while he pressed my body towards his. I brought my hands down to wrap around his neck as we swayed tightly together. My eyes focused in on his lips. We were like this only for a few second before the beat changed and a new song came on. Breathing heavily we pulled apart. Seeing the sweat that was being to form on his forehead made me realize how intense our dance actually was. I was confused as to what I wanted and I knew I needed space.
With the realization that we were standing in the middle of the dance floor I turn to join a group of girls dancing together for a song but the desire never left. I could help as I danced to twirl in hopes of finding where he went. When I saw him leaning against a wall cigarette in hand eyes gazing on me my mouth went dry. Finding a cool wall to press my back against I quickly saw him once again at the bar with a drink in hand. Kati and Iz came to my side. They knew better than to ask me direct questions and I began to ask them about the going ons of the party and public perception. About half an hour later, Chuck approached me.
"Heading out Waldorf. Want a ride?" he asked. It was nearing one and I had the location until two but I felt it was appropriate time to leave especially after all that happened. I knew that getting into a limo with Bass at this time of night only meant one thing. I was ready to take the plunge and give myself to him. In the back of my mind, I acknowledge that this could always be explained away by revenge but truly, the consuming thought that guided my answer was desire. I wanted to fuck Chuck Bass.
"Yes. Can I say bye to a few people and inform the staff?" He agreed and let me know that the limo would be around the front in fifteen minutes.
"I am happy that you did revert back to your purging. I am happy he was there for you. Chuck can be sleazy but there seems to be a mutual level of respect between the two of you. But nothing about those photos seemed friendly. There was a lot of eye-fucking- eye-chucking- if you ask me," she teased clearly thinking she was clever with her chuck-fuck pun. I know she would not be able to handle the delicate situation I was in with Bass.
"Then I guess we are going to need to burn his eyes out." I joked.
"I would have never thought I would see the day when Blair Waldorf was interested in Chuck Bass. It's like I returned to the twilight zone," laughing still.
"I can send you right back to Connecticut," I warned her, which did nothing to stop her laughing. I let a smile slow. It was nice having my friend back.
"So he drove you home after you danced? That's it?" she asked with an eyebrow raised clearly not believing me.
The sound of knocking on my door woke me out of my Blair infused dream. The arousal it caused was now evident and I looked down at myself annoyed with how much she was getting to me. "Chuck," I heard my father's voice. Annoyed but aware that today was his annual brunch I grabbed my robe and opened the door to my bedroom that lead out to the suite.
"Yes?" I asked still half asleep.
"I wanted to ensure that you were awake and-"he stopped speaking midway as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes causing me to flinch over my bruise. "Did you get into a fight?" he asked? Suddenly I remembered the two hits I took last night and I weakly nodded. No point in explaining anything about Brooklyn.
"The invitation said black tie, not black eye. Are you okay? I mean, if you're in some kind of trouble—"he said as he grabbed my hands and examined my knuckles. I pulled them away. (3)
"Only of my own making," I told him annoyed of this conversation. Since Friday, I have been working on a proposal and yet this is the first I have seen of him since then.
"I see you did not put of much of a fight," he dryly commented referencing my perfect knuckles with no scrapes.
"Sorry to disappoint father," I said sarcastically while turning to walk back into my room. I knew my father was a different type of man than I was. He was a swinging back type while I was most comfortable with this air of indifference that surrounded me. I found my revenge in other ways. I felt my anger for that Brooklyn kid increase. Who was he to embarrass me with my father?
"Why do you think I do all this? Huh? This party is for you, okay, so you can meet people. You know, become a part of something, make some kind of change," Bart continued. He would have his P.I sick me out when I was living it up but yet these two days he could not comment on.
"I thought this was for the open bar? Don't worry I'll try to make it there in one piece," I said before reentering my room. Discovering it was only ten and brunch did not start until two I threw my self on the bed for five more minutes that turned into thirty before I was awaken again by knocking. I groaned as I got up again to tell my father to leave me alone. Opening the door, I found Nate looking at me sternly.
"We need to talk."
"Can I shower beforehand?" I was taking the control of the conversation away from him until I was ready myself for his questions. Nate was not expecting that and stuttered a sure. I told him to help himself to room service and I would be out in half an hour.
About forty-five minutes later, I came out of the bedroom in my bathrobe and new silk pajamas and debated pouring myself a glass but decided against it. I sat across from him at the breakfast table.
"I thought you were getting ready?" he asked.
"You think it only takes forty-minutes to get ready?" I asked. My pattern and color choices were a carefully thought out ensembles. He shrugged sheepishly.
"Did you sleep with her Chuck?" he was quick to the main question. I grabbed a pastry and slowly pulled it apart. I looked at him carefully.
"No, Nathaniel, I cannot say I had the pleasure," I told him.
Why on earth did I ask her dance? I basically told her to use me in the same way that angered me on Thursday. Use me to create a new scandal. Use me so they would forgot that Nathaniel ever came here to yell at you. I suppose I am a glutton for punishment because I danced with her. I never dance unless you count receiving lap dances. Dance she did. She grinded on me and let my hands roam over her body. When our eyes connected and turned to face me our bodies barely moving against each other. We were breathing hard I knew she wanted me to kiss her. There were no missed signals here. A second or two more I would have. I would have tasted those lips in front of all our classmates. I would have marked her as mine in a way that would have destroyed her reputation at school because I knew that with one kiss she would have surrendered herself to me. It would have been scandalous and fucking perfect. When we pulled away from each other, the attraction was still there. If anything, it grew. When Arthur alerted me that he was near I should have just left but I felt the need to inform her. To see what she would do. When she told me that she would allow me to escort her home, I knew that she was opening the door for more than just that.
Walking outside letting the air hit me sobered me up a bit from the lust. I told myself not even a day ago that I would avoid just this thing. I told myself that she would not use me and yet I offered myself up on a pedestal just moment ago. I told myself I would not get too close to her because this was a black hole. Before stepping into the limo, I took a deep breath of the fresh air knowing the next twenty minutes were going to be filled with the scent of Dior Miss Dior Cherie (4). She sat by the window furthest from me. With every second that passed, I was losing my nerve. My hand that she could not see was balled up with the nails passing into the palm reminding me not to touch her. I was sure to have a mark there at this rate. We were on the Queensboro Bridge and I knew were going to have to drive together for another twenty minutes. The three reasons that formed in my mind to not touch her were disappearing: One, I should ask Nate first. Maybe I should ask for forgiveness rather than permission. Two, I did not want to be used. I glanced over fiddling with her fingers looking out her window her hair pulled to one said. I took in her neck. Fuck she could use me all night long. Three, these feelings were overpowering and consuming me in an unknown way. When I was about to give in to the overpowering feelings my body turning towards her my hands reaching out to her so close I could feel the heat from her body did she finally speak but never looking at me.
"So are you ready for the Bass Brunch tomorrow?" she asked. I quickly retreated into my seat when she finally looked at me and smiled waiting for an answer. If she was would have glanced back a moment sooner there is no way she would have missed the lust on my face. Instead, I took the out and dove right into the conversation about brunch. When she joked about her love of brunch, she mentioned that she was hungry. I mentioned that there was a diner that was on the way home. She refused and looked out the window.
"ooo," she squealed. "One of those taco trucks," she said.
"Waldorf, you want tacos? From a truck?" I asked in disbelief.
She blushed. "I never had one. I was just pointing it out, Bass." I rolled down the divider and asked Arthur to pull over. When she realized I was going to get tacos as I exited the car she yelled only one and chicken gigging freely. I brought her back two and myself three. I passed the aluminum wrapped tacos over to her she looked at it curiously. Very slowly with only two finger began to open it. She was taking her first bite as I was done with one.
"Not bad," she said. I smiled at her knowing she probably never gives into these urges for cheap food or anything above three stars. "Tell no one about this Chuck."
I chuckled as I wiped sour cream from her lip. "You're secret is safe. Hey, there are some really lowbrow pizza shops in the lower east side where you can get a dollar slice, if you want" I joked. She rolled her eyes.
"The lower east side? What after we go to a strip club or something? Is that a normal Bass weekend?" she asked.
"Usually there is a woman or women I take home to enjoy. Want to offer up." She rolled her eyes at my comment but did not remark as she finished her first taco and began to open up her second. I could not help but smile at her appetite. There was a time when I only ever saw her eat one meal a week in my presence and this would be the second counting Wednesday.
"So how is that tight leash that Bart has around you," she asked changing the conversation. I told her all about Bart letting me propose and project. She was excited and asked about my plan while encouraging me with her confidence.
"I have not really selected one strong idea yet," I confessed. "I want to have a good fore knowledge of it. I discovered that I am not really an expert on anything."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You are fifteen. You are good at having a good time and on knowing all the workings of the nightlife in this city," she offered. In her praise, I felt a warmness enter my heart. I pressed my fingernails into my thighs in the hopes of erasing it.
"What invest a club? The loud party scene is only enjoyable for so long." The loud club music was often too overbearing to my senses unless I was trashed. I did not think that I should propose a business that I would need to be drunk or high to enter.
"A bar/lounge?" Blair offered up.
I sneered. "They are a dime a dozen here. I want a place where morals are forgotten," I explained.
"So like a strip-cub. Kind of Midtown Bass," she said.
"No. A place where people can feel free to let loose without judgement," I tried to explain.
"A place that is purely decadent and excessively glamorous. Pure escape where respectable people can be transported to another time" she responded. I can see the movie credits in her eyes as she thought of her old-Hollywood dreams.
"Where secrets remain secret. Like a … burlesque club," I said as ideas and images began to pop into my head of old Hollywood burlesque films. Yes. A burlesque club.
"Burlesque like a strip club?" she asked not as convinced as I was.
"Not at all. A strip club is about the stripping where a woman is going to end up naked and men ogling her. A modern burlesque club is so different. It is about the teasing not the stripping. The performer is in control of what they shows and how much. Done right it is sexy and not sexual. It leaves you wanting more, desiring more but the goal is always out of reach. A tease," I said as I tried to describe the experience. My voice lowering as I described the event all the while picture Blair teasing and touring me. I realize just how close we were sitting now.
"I see. I will keep that in mind. It sounds like an excellent idea," she said, as she looked me right in the eye. Her lips so close to mine. "Bye Chuck," she said as she left through the open door leaving me confused as to when we even made it to her building. The entire night I was plagued by visions of her in the limo. I knew the next time I was alone for her for so long there would be no way to control myself.
"The pleasure? Chuck, Blair is my ex. You can't just take her like she is just some girl at a bar," Nate challenge and I rolled my eyes. I could see the anger growing on his face.
"Nathaniel, I am fully aware of who Blair is. I was just being a friend last night. I drove her home that is it. I was trying to comfort her after your meltdown," I added attempting to turn the tables on him.
"I know I fucked up last night. But I also know that the way you comfort people is usually not the way normal people would." He got up and walked away from the table. He began to pace the room. I sat back smugly and watched him waiting for whatever he was trying to get the courage to say. "I never thought that we would need to have this conversation man. It's an unwritten rule of friendship. A boundary that guy won't break. When you found Serena and me you totally cock blocked and forced me to tell Blair. Is this what you wanted? To deflower her, to have her before me," he rambled. Yet, I thought that is what you did to Blair and Serena. Right when I thought of telling him that Blair was a big girl and not property he looked right at me and said, "You are like a brother to me... No, you are my brother. You have been there through everything. And right now I need my best friend… man…My family is going through a lot and I where else where I crash when I need to escape," he ended with a smile.
I was reminded in that moment that before any of these feelings for Blair came about Nathaniel was the only person I ever felt a sense of comfort with and a sense of protection for. I nodded my head at him. He was the only family I had ever known and I could not give that up for a night with Blair. "I know what those pictures on Gossip Girl looked like man. Last night nothing happened beyond our dance and I drove her home," I promised. I knew that I should not mention Thursday. The secret was safe I doubt Blair would tell anyone.
"Okay, I trust you. I am sorry. There are a lot of crazy things that are being said on the message boards," he admitted guiltily. I nodded even though I had not yet looked them over.
"What you did last night to her. You need to apologize," I told her. He looked at me as if he was sizing me still unsure of what I told him. "Before you started dating we were all friends. In fact, I was friends with her first," I tried to explain.
"Yea I know," he said sitting down across from me again. "My mom and dad want me to get back together with her," he said.
"After the photos she sent?" I asked. He looked at me trying to decipher if I knew what they were of which I did not. He must have thought I did "all those photos of my dad cheating on my mom doing drugs sent the house into an uproar. I did not tell her they were from Blair. There is too much going on with my Dad. And if my mom found out that my girlfriend sent her those photos she would be so embarrassed. She is convinced it was her father anyway since he hates my dad… my father is being investigated by the Feds…my mom is freaking out… I am freaking out. Apparently he has a drug problem and now these photos of him cheating," he confessed finally placing his head in his hands. He looked overwhelmed and for the first time since I knew Nathaniel he looked depressed. I was in shocked. I knew something was haunting him but I had no clue that it was this. I honestly thought it was the whole Blair and Serena thing. The Captain was Nate's hero. The man that he loved dearly was a fraud, an addict, and a cheater.
"Man. I had no clue. Whatever I can do to help I will. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.
"And say what? My dad is fraud and is horrible," he sadly laughed as he leaned back.
"Hey the Captain is a good man and great father to you. Trust me I have a horrible one. So he made a few mistakes. It is a slippery slope. Plus trying to impress Willaim van der Bilt is no easy task," I said trying to ensure that Nate doesn't lose grasp on his father. In many ways, the Captain raised me as well.
Running his hands through his hair and yet out a large breath. "I don't even know how to begin apologizing to Blair. She hasn't even forgiven me for the Serena thing," asked me obviously trying to change the conversation.
"I think she felt pretty bad about the whole thing last night. At least she didn't send it to Gossip Girl and it would have reached the society pages by today which means she held back. I am sure there are some heartstrings you can pull on," I offered.
"Now my parents want me to do anything to get her back. Even propose." I jerked in surprise. Propose? It was what Blair wanted since she was ten. Would he? Would she say yes?
"What? Do you even love her?" I said loud and quickly betraying my own emotions. Nate eyed me with suspicion. Righting my self I quickly backpedaled to my unconcerned attitude. "Nathaniel, I was just being to meet single you," I add.
"It's for a business deal. Eleanor's company is going public and if my dad leads the deal, he could cover his tracks better against the Feds for a while. Once it is over we can go our separate ways," he said. The clear disregard for Blair's feelings pierced at me. I tensed up again but this time was able to mask it better. It was clear I did not have Nate's full trust as he was closely observing my reaction. Inside I was seething at his callousness.
"Would you propose tho?" I asked as I pretended to glance at the newspaper that came up with Nate's meal.
"No. No. I don't think so," he let me know. I nodded softly but I found myself to be elated with the answer. I was Blair's friend as well and she deserved better than some false engagement.
"So you think I can ask her to meet me here before the brunch to talk? I really need to say sorry sooner rather than later," he added.
"Of course, when do you ever ask? It isn't like I haven't walked in to find you here with some other girl," I winked clearly referring to Serena. It was a subtle reminder to their encounter that Blair was in the dark about. Usually he would hardly understand those but he read that one loud and clear.
"Well maybe this time you should knock. You never know what you are going to find" he threw back at me. We both knew it was his way of reminding me that Blair was his. The gauntlet was thrown (5). I said nothing and I stood up to grab a drink so he would not see the disgust on my face.
"Dude, that guy popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister," Nate chucked.
"I suppose. But then again you should know better than to hurt a Waldorf," I reminded him.
When I stepped out of the Foundry into the cold air was a refreshing relief. Chuck opened the door for me and I slipped in close to the window. He sat on the far side. A part of me did not want the night to end but I did not know how to voice my feelings. The silence was making the tension grow. I wondered why he offered to drop me if he had not made a move, better yet why did I say yes. I knew that he wanted me. I could feel the tension in the limo, his desire on the dance floor was clear, and the way his eyes followed me after everywhere I went after all displayed his lust. It was more than that. It was the he looked at me in the bathroom and held me as he wiped my tears. I knew that he would be gentle and sweet with me all the while ensuring my pleasure. He made me feel like a glass doll in one moment and then the most allure women in the world. I thought without a doubt Chuck was going to make me his when he asked if I wanted a ride. Yet we sat here in silence.
My dress felt tight and hot as I we drove over the bridge back into the city. Pretending to look out the window my view tainted by the windows and the darkness that was only illuminated by passing cars. When I could no longer take the silence I asked him about his father's brunch which opened up an animated conversation about his business ideas. I asked him about food to give him the opportunity to invite me to the Palace where we could order room service but he did not take the bait. Instead, we had food truck tacos and talked about his business ideas. I saw a completely new mature side to Chuck as I listened and urged him to continue thinking of business ventures. It was in those moments that I saw glimpses of the man that he could one day become and it excited a completely different part of me- a part of me that wanted to buy a new scrapbook and magazines to dream out a life for my future.
His voice was like velvet and floated over me. I listened carefully and watched as he become lost in his words and the notion of a tease. Well if that is what he wanted than that is what he will get.
"I see. I will keep that in mind. It sounds like an excellent idea," I said as I thought of all the ways to get Chuck to be mine. He was obviously fighting against something. I could tell he wanted me when we were dancing and on Thursday. Maybe it was his loyalty to Nate. Maybe it was our own friendship. Maybe it was because he did not think I would want to. But I wanted a taste of the wild side that I felt when I danced with him as everyone watched. I knew it was bad but it made me feel alive. He looked like he wanted to kiss me but oh no he had half an hour to do that. I was all riled up when we first got into the car so he could drive home that way. With a quick bye I walked out of the limo.
"Yes that is it, he just drove me dome. We grabbed a quick bite and I was safety tucked into my bed away from him" I turned back around to the looking at myself in the mirror telling myself that whatever I was feeling for Bass was just foolish lust. I was ashamed to think that it was one-sided and I could never admit that to Serena. Had my plot for revenge on Thursday tainted his opinion of me or did he think that I was still trying to use him? Or was he simply not interested and could not help but get hard as I danced on him. He was probably laughing on the inside with how obvious I was following him around. Yesterday, lost in a daze of alcohol, lust, and probably food poisoning from street food I thought up ways to seduce Bass. Ways to tease him until he came crawling at my feet. But how could I, seduce him?
"Did he tuck you in? Or better yet did you want him chuck you?" she teases.
"Stop using his name in exchange for the word fuck. You're giving his sexual prowess too much credit," I said slightly annoyed walking out towards my closet to make sure my dress was steamed and ready for today's brunch. It was reminding me of the fact that Chuck was the seducer and I was the virgin.
"Let me know if that is true when you find out" she joked as she entered my sanctuary and I ignored her but thought Serena was right about one thing. I was going to find out. I was going to seduce him. First, I needed to figure out how. Lists were needed.
"See you at brunch B? My mom really wants me to go," she rolled her eyes. I loved events like this when we mixed elbows with the rich and powerful. At least the brunch did not start until two, which my mother said, was lowbrow but I guess the Basses can do as they pleased.
"Yep. I have the perfect outfit." I walked back into my bedroom when she about to exit. "I am happy we are working on being okay again."
"You have no clue how good it feels to laugh and talk to you like this again," she told me. We shared a smile. I agreed and asked her to send up Dorota on the way out. I needed her to pick up reading on seduction. The game was on.
1bone –dry caps are a way of making a cappuccino. You can have them traditional (wet) or dry which allows for more foam. The dry ones are the ones that you can do the fun artwork in.
2- I borrowed the Just because we can't be friends doesn't mean we aren't line. It is such a cute line.
3 This is the line that kinda inspired my Bart for this story when I read quotes from the first two episodes. In addition, the moment in 2x10 when Bart apologizes after Dan's short story is the Bart that I am writing about.
4 Dior Miss Dior Cherie- I thought of making her scent Chanel No.5 but I like to think while she is a classic (and I know she uses it later on in the show) she is also fifteen. Since my grandmother wore Chanel No.5, I just can't see Blair using it so young. Also Dior Miss Dior Cherie is a great scent.
5 I noticed many countries other than my own are viewing this fic. So thought I should explain metaphors that I usually take for granted just in case. Gauntlet thrown- to challenge or confront someone.
A.N: I liked playing with their emotions for the memories in the moment vs. the next morning especially Blair. Chuck makes her feel so much more sexy and confident than she is the next morning. I purposefully make her doubt her appeal in the morning for a moment and yet the thought does not enter her mind even as she sits in the silence of the limo. I realize that I am writing Chuck so much more engaging in conversation with Blair than he is with everyone else but I can't help it. Blair wants Chuck, finally if only in a sexual way. Chuck is fighting it and now promised Nate he would stay away.
Yes, I made a conversation with Blair spark the idea of Victrola. I thought it would make sense that the club is a manifestation of the way that Chuck makes her feel.
Next two chapters are the Bass Brunch get your champange and crepes ready.