Okay, things get a bit sexy in this. Quite a lot of swearing. You are warned.

Thanks must go to TSylvestrisA who has been so brilliant and sends me lovely reviews.

Thanks to Power0girl too for her lovely comments and everyone who has faved/followed or commented.

I am busy busy at the moment as I have an exam this weekend and am writing three stories but I hope to keep updating this daily.

John is drunk in this part, so I hope I wrote him well in that state. He probably wouldn't have been as eloquent but I hate bad spelling and grammar. :)

Part 7 - Five weeks and five days after the fall.

Hello.

I'm a bit drunk. Actually a bit might be an understatement. Some of my old buddies from my army days came over without warning. I kinda wonder y'know if your damned brother engineered it in some way... Y'know? He's a twat Sherlock. I know he's your brother but God he's put me through some shit just for knowing you. Think he thinks I'm your boyfriend.

Boyfriend! That's a laugh, I'm hardy a fucking boy am I?

So anyway it's like nearly midnight and I thought I'd better do this. Have so many feelings running through me Sherlock. Why the fuck aren't you here? You should be here to say something disparaging. Then you'd make me drink water and give me aspirin, dissect my evening in that arrogant way and leave me in my chair to sleep. Then you'd make me coffee in the morning. See you did care.

So the lads tried to cheer me up, talked of the 'good old days'. It helped y'know..? But then they mentioned you and I just clammed up. Had to go home. I don't need their opinions. The world can go and fuck itself because when I'm with you that's all that matters.

I didn't take sleepers last night. Thought you might come but in the end I fell asleep. I dreamt of you. Ah fuck it... I dreamt of you with me, and I don't mean in the sense of how we were. It's not like it's the first time really. I had dreams like this before. I should feel weird writing this to you but I don't. Probably the drink.

I was in your bed Sherlock.. and in my dream you were in your bed too. With me. You were kissing me and I was kissing you back and thats not weird at all is it? Why would I dream of that.. but that's not all. We were undressed and snogging like our lives depended on it. Your skin smelt amazing. It was so soft and warm as I held you against me and I could feel your cock rubbing against mine.. and you know what.. that was fine. Even when I woke I wasn't bothered by that, it felt right. I know it was just a dream but God... Sherlock you were so hot. Your hands in my hair tugging at it, your eyes looking deep into mine as you did incredible things to me. You kissing my throat and tearing at my skin with your teeth and me arching beneath you. God I wanted you. I wanted you in me. I WANTED you in ME! I'm fucking straight but there I was begging you to put your fucking huge cock in my arse and then you did. I've never been shagged up the arse but my imagination obviously has some ideas about what it would feel like. I was shaking and sweating as you rode me, you body over mine thrusting hard. I was screaming for you to fuck me harder, to hurt me, to come inside me. You started stroking my cock and I was coming hard, pumping my load into your hand, my hands in your hair and you buried your face in my shoulder as your shouted out your release against me. And then the image drifted away.

I woke up in your bed with a fucking huge hard on and the first thing I wished for was your fucking ridiculously sexy mouth to be wrapped around it. It was then I realized just how much I have noticed your mouth. It's insane that mouth. So beautiful. I.. me.. I'm calling you beautiful.

'Cos you are you know what? You are beautiful and there is no other word for it.

I should probably delete the above but I don't want to forget that dream.

I miss you.

Maybe I'll delete it tomorrow when I'm more sober, because right now I can't bring myself to care if you read it. In fact I want you to read it 'cos what if you feel the same?

Ah, I'm going to bed now. Just drinking some water and taking the aspirin that was in the kitchen. That fucking needles still here, still can't decide what to do about that.

Shit.

Okay, night Sherlock. Come home soon.