Maddy sat awkwardly on her bed, listening to her iPod on shuffle. She had a few books she felt like reading through and decided to start on one of them now, ignoring the homework on her desk that she just wasn't feeling up to doing. After reading a few pages of The Hunger Games she found herself bored again and closed the book, deciding to carry on reading it later. She wondered whether watching some tv would help, but she doubted it. Since returning from the Warsaw mission everything felt dulled.
She recognised the feeling, after all, a sense of emptiness was all she had felt throughout the six months after being saved from Hydra, but being on the team must have eased the feeling somewhat.
Her phone suddenly rang, causing her to lean over and check it out. It was a text from Jennifer "You going be back for the holidays?"
Maddy looked at the text and put her phone down, thinking to herself about what to reply. After a while she picked it back up and wrote "Hopefully." Her friends back home had been told by her parents that she had been sent to a boarding school due to bad grades or something. It meant less explaining, but she hated lying to them.
She was so caught up in her thoughts of home that she jumped at the sound of someone knocking at her door. After taking a breath to calm herself she rolled out of her bed to rush to it, then patted herself down and pushed it ajar. "Hello?" She asked, noting that it was Jonny and Bobby on the other side.
"Hey Maddy how're you feeling?" Jonny smiled awkwardly, and Maddy opened the door wider, inviting them in. Jonny paused in the doorway as he heard the music playing, "Tailor Swift… How'd I know that would be on your Ipod?" He sighed, shutting the door behind.
"Ignore him." Bobby sighed, pushing past Jonny and returning to Maddy the cd he had borrowed, "He's been acting like a dick all day."
"Correction, Bobby has been sulking all day about the whole Agent Danvers thing." Jonny replied, getting a death glare from Bobby and a look of interest from Maddy.
"What happened with Ms Danvers?" She asked, to which Bobby quickly replied.
"Nothing, nothing whatsoever." He yelled frantically, his face going red.
"Well, when we were in Traveler's fake world I may have used the memory of her to break him out of the illusion." Jonny answered.
"Dude!" Bobby yelled.
"Oh, so you have a crush on her or something?" Maddy asked, causing Bobby's face to get even redder, "Oh, you really do." She laughed, "And yet you still won't join my fan page."
"I don't want to join a Ms Marvel fan page, it means I have to get Facebook again." Bobby sighed, getting a look of curiosity from Maddy, although when she glanced at Jonny he made a sign so to get her to drop that trail of thought. She kept forgetting that Bobby was once an X-man, and that he probably had to give up a few things to stay anomalous.
"Plus he's embarrassed about the whole 'hots for the teacher' thing," Jonny smiled, leaning over to Maddy and whispering "He worries it's an extension of his Oedipus complex."
"Jonny, I swear to god I will freeze you to the underside of the tricarrier!" Bobby yelled causing him to chuckle, "Now if were done with the 'take the piss out of Bobby hour,' can we talk about how you're feeling Maddy?"
"What do you mean?" Maddy asked in reply, curling a strand of her hair around her finger awkwardly.
"Well I noticed you were a bit… absent minded at school." Bobby answered, "Like how you didn't even notice the teacher shouting at you to pay attention."
"That happened?" Maddy asked, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"And then there was the mission after that, you know, the one where you forgot to go to." Jonny continued.
"I wasn't feeling up to it." Maddy muttered.
"That's the point, we just wanted to check that you were ok." Bobby smiled, "I don't know what Traveller did, or what kind of world he gave you, but it looks like it's really shaken you up."
"Yeah, and if you want to talk to us about it, even if it isn't right now, don't forget were just down the hall." Jonny continued. There was an awkward silence as it became obvious to the two that Maddy really didn't want to speak about what was going on. They went to turn around when the iPod changed songs to a heavy metal one. "What the-?" Jonny said, jumping with alarm. "Is this your dad's song or something?"
"You know people can like different types of music, right?" Maddy asked, sighing.
"Yeah but…" He said, pointing to the iPod, "and that…" He continued, pointing over to a stack of beanie babies, "really doesn't go together."
"You're stereotyping Jonny. It'd be like saying all celebrities are vain, self-obsessed, assholes." Bobby replied, then looked Jonny up and down and smiled, "Oh, wait."
"Very funny, pal." Jonny frowned, and then turned back to Maddy, "Like I said, if you want to talk about this stuff, just knock."
Maddy closed the door behind them and sat down. She appreciated the thought, but what would they know about what she was going? Trapped in a body barely able to hold itself together, tiptoeing on death's door.
Another knock came at her door later that night, and she found Jonny there again. "I was thinking…" He began.
"A rare feat." Maddy noted, "You better be careful, that could hurt."
"Are you going to make any more jokes about my intelligence before I can finish my sentence?" he sighed.
"Nope, I think two is enough." She replied, smiling.
"Did Traveler… Well with your powers and what is happening with them…" Jonny said, dancing around the subject.
"He had them kill me, yes." Maddy muttered, avoiding Jonny's eyes, although seeing from his body language that the answer was both exactly what he expected and the one he least wanted to hear.
"Bastard!" Jonny cursed, then put his hand to his mouth. "Sorry, I'll be quieter."
"Come in." Maddy sighed, opening the door. At least the walls were a little more sound proof in her room.
Jonny entered for the second time that day and sat on her bed, looking uncomfortable. Unlike all the other members of the team he knew all about Maddy's circumstances, after all he was one of the people who saved her from Hydra and the Red Skull's plans. "I've been keeping in contact with Dr Pym. He swears he'll find something by the end of this year." Jonny reassured, but Maddy simply frowned in reply.
"Who can guarantee I won't be gone by then?" She asked, looking pained.
"You won't, I swear someone will sort this out!" Jonny assured, standing up. "We're heroes, we fix these kind of things all the time!"
"You know the Avengers mansion has a mural for all the heroes they failed to save." Maddy replied, "And I'm no hero anyway."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jonny asked "How are you not a hero. You helped defeat and save Captain America and you prevented a massive prison break out. If you're worried about the fact you always do so in a team, just give it time and you'll be saving people single-handedly."
"I'm not a hero because everything I do is for my own selfish reason." She retorted, looking at the confused look on Jonny's face. "When I accepted Fury's offer, I did so on my Dad's suggestion. He said that as long as I kept in the spotlight the scientists on my case wouldn't forget me."
"What do you mean? Why would they-?" Jonny began, but Maddy began to laugh.
"You mean people like Dr Richards, who just went on a space honeymoon, or Dr Banner who turns into a giant green monster. I have basically just got Dr Pym, the guy who built Ultron, reviewing my disease. I can see that going well. Hell, maybe he'll create a new robot with my powers instead." Her laughter began to become more hollow until she burst into tears. "Oh god, I'm going to die." She whispered, "I'm going to die Jonny."
Jonny ran over and hugged her, letting her cry into his chest. "It'll be alright. Dr Pym will sort this out, he's a genius, even Amadeus Cho admitted that." He assured, "They won't let you die."
"But I'm not a hero though," Maddy gulped, "I'm just acting like one…"
"Don't say that!" Jonny said sternly, "Firstly, you don't need to be a hero to be saved, and more importantly, you are a hero, we all are. Yes, some people become heroes for the wrong reason, but it is what we do from that point which matters, not the start." He paused and remembered what Bobby had told him after the prison break. "Bobby said you seemed happy once you took down all those villains, why was that?"
"Well… because I helped, because I was useful I guess." Maddy pondered. "I mean it wasn't a reaction to appreciation, although I guess that was a factor, it was more the feeling that I did something good."
"It was the feeling that you were a hero. If you ever doubt yourself, try to remember that feeling." Jonny said calmly, "There are times when I question myself, when I think that I'm just in it for the money, or for the attention, but then I remember that feeling, and I remember that I'm doing it to help people. It's a feeling you can only get when you do something because you can, not for a future reward. I guess someone could try to work for that feeling alone, but then they wouldn't get it. It is pride in oneself for doing the right thing just because it is the right thing."
"Wow, that's surprisingly well thought out." Maddy noted, and Jonny chuckled.
"I… err, well I wrote it up for a conference on heroism that got cancelled a while back." Jonny muttered, and Maddy laughed.
"So you're recycling scripts now? And I almost thought you saw me as an individual." Maddy joked.
"Nononono, I mean the words worked and so it came to mind and… Dammit now I feel like an idiot." Jonny sighed and Maddy tapped him on the shoulder.
"You are an idiot. But you're a nice guy none the less." She smiled, letting go of him "Thanks Jonny."
Jonny nodded and got up, heading to the door, but then stopped as he reached for the handle. "Look, I don't think it's great that I'm the only one who knows about how your powers affect you. I can try to understand it, but the way mine have affected my life is so different to the way your powers have affected yours…" He paused in thought. "It may be too early for me to tell you to think about this, but perhaps you should talk to Bobby about them. If anyone on the team can begin to understand what your powers have put you through, it is him."
As he closed the door Maddy stared after him. Maybe he was right.
Maddy stood in front of the door to Bobby's room and gulped. She had been there for the past ten minutes deliberating about whether or not to knock. As she began to raise her arm for the sixth time she heard a voice from down the corridor "Hey Maddy, what's up?" Bobby asked, returning to his room from the canteen.
"Hey Bobby…" she smiled awkwardly, "Could I talk to you about something." She asked, indicating she wanted to go in.
"Uh, yeah, sure." He replied, fumbling for his keys in his pocket and opening the door for her.
She walked in her eyes were drawn to the posters he had stuck up, mainly of buildings and art from all around the world, as well as one of Darth Vader that looked incredibly worn. She looked closely at it and noticed the Vader poster was signed by a bunch of names, including Colossus.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Bobby asked, inviting her to sit down as he grabbed himself a drink from the top of his bookshelf, cooling it in his hand. "Ah, sorry, you want one as well?"
"No, I'm fine." Maddy smiled, noticing the image of Bobby's old school. "Sorry if this bothers you, but I wanted to ask what it is like to be a mutant."
Bobby stopped drinking and slowly lowered the bottle of coke. He stared at her for a few seconds then sighed. "I have a lot of friends who are happy to be one, despite all the prejudice it brings, but I hate it frankly. All my powers have ever brought me is failure after failure." He frowned.
"I'm sorry to hear that…" Maddy whispered, but Bobby shook his head.
"…When I first got them," He continued "I thought they would bring me so much. I thought I'd end up being the new Captain America or Iron Man, but then reality felt like kicking me to the curb. My parents disowned me when I showed them, and I ended up finding out the hard way that mutants 'weren't part of god's plan' when my town tried to force it out of me… but then I got to be one of the X-men and everything seemed better." Bobby smiled as he recalled happier times.
"However the world felt like taking that away from me too. After what had happened to me before, I didn't want to be revealed as a mutant, it terrified me, so when Xavier's institute was revealed to train mutants I left. Thanks to my powers I spent two years living in the crappiest homes possible. I even ended up on the streets at times." He looked as though he was inches away from crying. "My powers gave me friends purely to take them away from me. I despise that I was born like this." He gulped, "There have been so many nights that I have thought it would be better to end it, that no one would miss me if I'm gone and the pain would finally be over. I realise just how alone I am. I realise that there's no way the other mutants could ever accept me after I ran away from what I was, but neither will humans because I'm different… because I'm wrong."
Maddy grabbed him at this "You're not wrong Bobby." She said, "Don't you ever think that way!" After a few seconds she let go and Bobby wiped his eyes.
"Thanks…" He muttered, then looked up "Why did you want to know anyway?"
"I… I wanted to know if what you felt was the same as me." Maddy frowned, "But I guess we're in different situations even if we both hate our powers."
"Why do you-?" Bobby began.
"Because they're killing me." Maddy said with a false smile.
He stared at her for a moment then began to mouth words as thoughts rushed to his head. "What?" he finally settled for, not the best thing to say, but she could see that he was completely shocked by the statement.
"My powers… They're not based around a mutation, but I just awoke with them one day. My parents freaked out and told a friend who supposedly had contacts with S.H.E.I.L.D." She chuckled hollowly "Turns out she was working for the other team. She was a Hydra operative searching for local super-humans. Some kid was running around with super strength and Hydra wanted him. I never did find out about how he turned out."
"What did this woman do?" Bobby gulped.
"Shipped me off to Hydra, where they tried to find the source of my powers, or at the least turn me into their new weapon. A girl that could turn to poison gas at a thought. Imagine that in a public gathering or in the White House." She continued, looking uncomfortable. "They never found the source, but they did 'help' me use my powers with more efficiency. Too bad the side effect was that my body would ultimately dissipate on its own. What I have isn't a super power, it's a disease." She laughed, "And I'm basically playing hero to get people's attention so that they'll cure it, how pathetic is that."
Bobby was silent for a moment, processing the information. "You're hanging onto life with all your strength and helping people in the process, how is that pathetic?" Bobby asked honestly. "You're right, our powers have put us in different situations, for you they've shown your mortality, and for me they've emphasised just how horrible the world really is… but I guess in the end we both want the same thing, to be normal." He walked over and sat next to her. "So I'll be the friend that you can talk to about this stuff, and I'll try to understand to my best ability. Because although my powers may not kill me, they sure as hell try to."
Maddy smiled at the sentiment, "Jonny also knows all about this."
"Well I guess he is good for making you laugh, the guy is great at making an ass of himself after all, whereas all I can do is make terrible ice puns. But then he's also great at being an asshole in general." He laughed, "Well, if you want to talk to me about this stuff again, my doors open."
"Same if you need to talk to me about your problems." Maddy smiled in reply, "And also if you ever feel down enough to have those kind of thoughts again make sure you talk to me or Jonny. I don't want anyone I care about to die before me."
Bobby nodded as he closed the door behind her. Maddy thought to herself as she returned to her room that although not much new was said in either the conversation, understanding her friends and how they wanted to help her helped more than she could have imagined. Maybe Dr Pym would fail to save her, but she had to enjoy what she had as long as she had it, and if she was lucky, she would never have to give it up.
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Hi guys, sorry this update is so small despite being a month after the last (Although a mini chapter is better than me not updating at all I guess). Uni tests took a lot of my time, plus I found this chapter a bit challenging to write. The characters of Veil, Iceman and The Human Torch have been focused on a fair bit recently, something which I plan to cut down on soon in favour of the main cast and Cloak and Dagger. This chapter is still a kind of continuation of the last, thus the title, exploring how these three characters view their powers, particularly Veil after Traveler reminded her of their side effect. I also thought it was important to mention Veil's lack of time here due to her not being a well known character, and this aspect being one of the most interesting things about her (and one of the reasons I chose to use her over Kitty Pryde while coming up with the plot). The next mini chapter will be up next week (its effectively finished, I just want to proof read a bit more) and it too is based on a plot point from the Traveler story-line.