Chapter 7

Walking back into her apartment Mac plopped himself down on her couch, letting the pillows drown him with comfort. Stella noticed his unease to be near her so she waited a few seconds and then decided to fall into the seat right next to him.

"Thanks for staying Mac…I don't know why, but I just feel better knowing you're around." She rattled off without looking at him.

"It's nice to be needed to tell you the truth."

"I know you're a private person Mac…but I want you to know that you don't have to be scared or embarrassed to tell me things. I pour my heart out to you because I trust and know you won't judge me, I just wish you felt the same with me."

Turning slightly to face her he replied, " Stella I do trust you…with more then having my back at work. I trust you with personal things too, I don't talk to any one else and you know it! I just have a hard time opening up…it's a personal thing. I can't even explain it to you because I don't know myself." As he's speaking to her he unconsciously grabs her hand.

"I understand Mac…but I just don't want to push you too far one day and have you close up on me altogether. I can't risk losing you," she bows her head in slight fear that she's said too much.

"You'll never lose me Stel. I'll always be here for you ok?"

She looks into his eyes and nods her head. The only thing running through her mind right now is this man in front of her. She feels so lucky to have him here, with her, being her friend, and hopefully one day loving her. She decides to take a risk she's been thinking about for a while now and leans her head in slowly to his. He's a little startled at first but doesn't move away. As she gets closer she can feel his gentle breath on her lips, and goes the next few centimeters to meet his mouth in a light kiss. They part, leaving an extremely small space between them and then crash into each other once more for a more demanding, yet sensual kiss that lasts longer this time. She parts her mouth slightly when she feels his tongue exploring her lips, asking for entrance and she grants it without hesitation. He draw his tongue up and around her mouth tasting every inch of her and loving the feeling that it's elicited inside of him. She lets out a small moan which doesn't go unnoticed by him. His hands climb their way up her arms to rest on her shoulders. He gently massages them and she moans again, bringing her own hands to rest on his stomach. He then pulls back slightly, doubt flooding his mind.

"We shouldn't do this Stel…it can't happen."

"Mac…I want it to, if you think I'm just trying to make myself feel better that's not the…."

"Stel listen to me! I can't be what you need…I'm your boss, your partner, your friend…I can never be the husband with 2.5 kids and white picket fence like you want…deserve. You wont be happy with me…this will only end badly." He starts to move from the couch when he feels hands on his arms pulling him back down.

"I'm not asking for any of that from you!" She raises her voice a little in aggravation. "Those are my dreams Mac…not a prerequisite to being a art of my life. I've never asked you to be anything other then what you are…I can't believe you'd think I'd reject you if you didn't give me my fairytale ending!" She was fuming now.

"I just want you to have everything you deserve. You can have all of that Stella…I just can't be the one to give it to you!"

"I don't want you too!" This time tears start falling. "I want you to be around, to hold me, take care of me, to…to love me," she whispers the last part.

"I do Stella! All of the above, I do. I'll always be here for you and hold and comfort you…and I'll always love you. But I can't make you happy the way you deserve." He wants to run to her and wrap her in his arms but he's afraid it of what she might do.

She stares blankly at him, tears pouring freely from her eyes and she stands. Taking a huge leap, she throws herself into his arms and holds on tight.

"I deserve a chance!" She cries into his chest. "I love you Mac…I have for a long time…why can't you just love me back!" Her whole body is shaking.

Mac throws his arms around her, his heart crushing at every tear spilled. He buries his head in her hair, tears now threatening to fall from his own eyes.

"I do love you Stella…more then you know! I would love to spend the rest of my life with you if I knew we'd be happy for ever…I'm just scared!" He explained, now full tears coming from his eyes as well.

"Don't leave me…please! Just give us a chance, I don't understand why you don't want to even try?"

Both of them are crying, holding onto the other for dear life and standing in the middle of Stella's living room.

"I'll give it a shot…because I love you and want to make you happy." Mac stated as he started composing himself. "You already know I'm bad at these 'feelings' thing…just bare with me ok?"

"I know everything about you Mac and I haven't run yet. We'll take it slow…no need to rush."

They both stare at each other for a moment before realizing that they're still standing in the middle of then room. Turning slightly, holding hands, they head to the couch to relax and think about the even that just happened and somehow started their relationship.