The (Birds and the) Bees and the Buns in the Oven

Out of the blue, an almost four year old Shikadai once asked, "Mom, how was I made?"

Only a few—very few—things caught Temari off guard, this was one of them. Just three and some months old and her son was already wondering such things. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Boruto said Himawari came from a flower. He claimed a bee landed on a sunflower and …you know I'm asking because the story sounded false but Boruto said the Hokage swore on that story being true."

Imagining Naruto telling his son the Birds and the Bees story—he must have made it into something fairytale-ish instead of the symbolism that it should be.

"Mom, if babies come from flowers won't aunt Ino have more than Inojin—or maybe that means all the babies are made from the Yamanaka flower shop and aunt Ino sold them to their parents—that sounds crazy."

A part of Temari was amazed at the Nara gene that made her son question things while another part of her was busy trying to formulate an answer that would explain the Hokage's—Naruto's—answer.

"So mom where did I came from?" Shikadai insisted. "I'll prove to Borutu, he's wrong."

Oh shit! Where the hell is her husband, he should be the one explaining this.

"Shikadai, can you imagine your father as a bee and me as—" Temari was about to say a bird when she realized that sounded like a premise to a bird about to shallow the bee…not an image she was striving for. "—an irresistible flower?"

Shikadai mutters, thoughtfully, "Dad doesn't resemble a bee. First off, those little buggers have a temper. Second, they have big bellies. Third—"

"Do you want me to explain this or not?"

"So dad becomes like bee, but not a real bee, right?" Then hiding his laughter behind his hand, he continued, "And you, like a flower."

Temari's brow twitched. "Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing—" Shikadai paused, then obviously changing his mind, he admitted in a quiet voice, "It's just that if you are a flower, you'd be—"

"A cactus flower," Temari supplied, knowing her son's about to say something blunt and unflattering. "You've seen them right? Really pretty but quite prickly."

"I was going to say that!" pouted Shikadai.

"Really?" Temari snorted then seeing her son nodding his head quite agitatedly, she smiled and ruffled his pineapple head. "Where were we?"

"Dad's a bee—"

"So yes, your dad, the bee, chooses a flower which is me and then he will come in and show his appreciation then he will go the next one bearing my pollen—"

"That sounds confusing."

"I'll simplify it then." The blonde kunoichi thought for a while then tried again, "At night—sometimes day—your dad raids an oven labeled Temari because he's hungry and every time he eats from the oven he gives the oven something back. But almost four years ago, something special happened, the gift your dad gave to mommy's oven bear fruit—you."

Bee and flowers to oven to fruit? It would have confused him more if not for the fact that he's a Nara. So Shikadai just shrugged. "The oven—you meant your tummy, right?"

"Yes."

"I came from your tummy." Shikadai already suspected that. Adults! Why they couldn't just go straight to the point. He sighed. "It must have been difficult for you to spit me out."

"Spit you out?" Temari stared. "I didn't do that. You came out of me the other way."

"You mean like poop?"

"No—yes…NO!" Tamari felt like… "Can you just ask me this question when you're a bit older?"

Shikadai grunted loudly as a disturbing image appeared on his mind. "I think I prefer uncle Naruto's story now."

—o0o—

Present day.

"Now, remember, Shikadai. Your uncles don't know yet that I'm pregnant so don't go telling them just yet ok. Your dad and me, we'll be the ones to tell them."

So After the kage summit, when Shikadai saw his uncle Kankuro again, he can only speak in codes, "Uncle, there's a bun in the oven. You should tell dad he shouldn't eat from it now."

Both Temari and Shikamaru sputters while Gaara remains frozen on his seat. Kankuro hoots loudly, saying, "You heard that, Nara. Your son's saying, no more…" he then mouths the words, "…capital S, E, X for you."

—o0o—

~11 14,25 14AF P 11 29 14~

A/N: Aw this chapter is about how everyone in Chapter 700 had sex and had babies at the same time—well, at least that was the idea I started with… haha even if you squint I don't think you'll see it though :P