As I previously said - life is kicking my butt. And there was Kurt Gen Week I worked on this past week. But I have a chapter for you so I'll appreciate any feedback, as always.

Also, while I'm going to continue updating this fic as often as I can Falling For You won't be updated until I find a beta. Which is difficult so apologise for that.

Kurt's smile faltered as Blaine left the loft. Yes, of course Kurt was happy for his fiancé but he really didn't think Blaine's meeting with June was going to bring any good for him. June didn't like him and there were slim chances she was going to change her mind just because Blaine was charming.

Kurt sighed and went to the kitchen. He started making dinner without much enthusiasm. Preparing food for one person still felt strange. Usually he at least had Rachel who needed help with being fed, not mentioning Blaine who spent two nights weekly in the loft and Monday evenings when Kurt cooked for all their friends (unless he refused and they split). But now Rachel was at the rehearsal and she had told them not to wait and Blaine hadleft for the meeting with June. It felt lonely. Kurt sighed again as he reached to the fridge. He planned making himself spaghetti but maybe a salad was enough? He was always careful to eat healthily around Blaine but sometimes let himself take a break, because dieting was never what he wanted. Respecting that Blaine needed it for his own self-esteem wasn't a big deal, not eating out together to help and support wasn't a big deal. But when Blaine apparently expected Kurt to diet as well he was a little shocked. It wasn't far from Kurt's usual eating habits but it was a little too much compared to what he needed daily because of his intensively physical classes. So Kurt wasn't completely honest with Blaine when it came to their "dieting" but he tried to support Blaine when they ate together. It didn't feel exactly right, he'd prefer to be completely honest but he was scared of making Blaine insecure, too. Kurt bit his lip and reached for ingredients when his phone rang. Seeing Dani's name on screen made him smile.

"Hello there." he said happily as closed the fridge with his hip and he tried to balance the tray with everything he needed.

"Hey, Kurt. We were wondering if you wanted to come over?" she giggled and Kurt could hear clearly Elliott's booming voice in the background as he made some joke. He smiled wider.

"I could come over or you could come here? I'm alone for the night and I just started making dinner. Up to you?"

Dani murmured something on the other line and then giggled again.

"Okay, we'll be there in half an hour? We'll bring some food, don't bother with making too much."

"I'll see you." Kurt hummed and hung up, planning to make his dinner anyway. By the time Elliott and Dani got in (none of his friends bothered to knock anymore) he'd prepared his spaghetti and another bowl of a veggie version for them, chicken salad and one with feta cheese as he already knew they weren't vegan. When it added to food brought by Dani and Elliott by the end of the evening he was just lying on the couch, feeling like he was never going to eat again.

Kurt smiled happily to himself when Blaine went to refill their popcorn bowl. June didn't hate him that much after all. If felt great to feel that maybe he didn't screw up so badly. Kurt chuckled when Blaine came back and kissed him on the cheek.

"So how is NYADA? I mean, you do manage to attend all the classes, right? She can't keep you away from school." Kurt reached for Blaine hand.

"Yeah, yeah, it's good. We hang out but she knows I need to keep up with my studies and we just plan it all around my classes. She actually thinks it's good I put so much effort into it. You know, NYADA is an amazing school and everyone thinks it's great achievement for someone my age to be there. You know some people try for more times..." Blaine bit his lip and winced. "I mean more times than two. I heard about some who try five or six times, that being of course before Carmen."

"I heard. It's like everyone in this school knows everything" Kurt chuckled, not bothered by Blaine's slip up. He took off his boots and put his feet on Blaine's lap.

"It's easy to interrogate your classmates, that's a plus. But then I'm not sure I want to know what they say about me..." Blaine rolled his eyes and rubbed Kurt's feet, making him moan happily.

"You are in so much pain?" Blaine frowned.

"It's not that bad but I've been on my feet a lot lately. You know, diner, trying to make up for classes plus keeping up with assignments, Vogue, One Three Hill..." Kurt hummed. Sometimes saying aloud everything made him realise how much it was.

"You're a busy bee." Blaine smiled at him and rubbed Kurt's knee. "But you're amazing in everything you do. It's amazing. You know that people in school talk about you? A lot. Only good things" he said quickly.

Kurt bit his lip.

"I don't want to know to be honest. I'm happy with what I know and with you all appreciating me. That's enough. You know, people in NYADA can be vicious."

"I know. But they love you. They think you're hot..." Blaine hummed. Sometimes it still felt like Kurt was showing off so he wasn't really surprised. Maybe it was still a little annoying that Kurt was trying to get everyone's attention but Blaine wasn't really jealous anymore. Especially since he got in touch with June and found his own group of admirers.

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned on the back of the couch.

"Doesn't matter. I want you to find me hot, not them." he whispered sleepily.

"I know. I'm glad." Blaine smiled and continued to rub Kurt's feet until his fiancé was asleep. Only then he let his facade fall and start worrying about the lie. Kurt was going to find out. And he was going to be mad, again. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Kurt rolled his eyes as he left Clara's office. One more thing went wrong. He ignored the receptionist's stare and left the building. He hoped to help Maggie but it didn't work out.

Kurt got to the subway and decided that he couldn't avoid the loft anymore. It was his home as well and staying in Blaine's place was a temporary fix but even that got tiring when it was too much. After almost a week it felt like Blaine was either absent or needed Kurt's attention. Kurt said no to late night sex after one unfortunate time that left him almost too sore to take part in dancing class but there was always something to do. And when he was busy so many extra activities got tiring.

Kurt entered the loft and went to his bedroom, ignoring Rachel calling Santana. After hiding behind the privacy curtain he put his bag on the table by the window and crawled into the bed. It was still early, not even past noon and he felt tired. Performing in Lexington took all his remaining free time and between that and Blaine's clinginess it felt like he was forced to be alert non-stop. Getting back on Ambien was the only reason he was at least be able to sleep, even if it wasn't enough hours to rest properly, it was something. Kurt groaned when Santana entered the apartment and started talking to Rachel from the kitchen. He covered his head with a pillow and slowly drifted off.

"You were amazing" Blaine smiled as he opened the bottle of champagne back in the apartment. The performance went flawlessly and Rachel's event was amazing, they managed to help so many dogs get adopted it felt like a victory for everyone. Kurt accepted a glass and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you. I'm glad you could make it, I'm sorry you missed your dinner with June." Kurt whispered as he kissed Blaine's cheek and let himself be wrapped in his fiancé's arms.

"It's nothing, don't worry. I'll have time for dinners with her. There was only one opening night." Blaine answered and squeezed Kurt's hip as everyone got their drinks and started congratulating each other for everything. He chuckled and leaned into Blaine's touch.

"You know, sometimes I think you're all the weirdest group of people I'll ever meet." Kurt whispered to him with a smile.

"Sometimes it's true." Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt's shoulder before they let the others and their craziness separate them.

Kurt was already pretty desperate as they got to his room that evening, Blaine staying because they were a little too tipsy to get apart for the night and far far too gone for it. Kurt sighed softly as Blaine kissed his neck and pushed him on the bed.

"You have everything?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt nodded, and motioned in the pillows direction. He closed his eyes and Blaine started sucking on his pulse point as he reached for the supplies, making Kurt whimper and squirm underneath him.

"We should... I mean girls are inside." Kurt protested weakly but stopped when Blaine sucked harder and rocked his hips. "Oh god, okay." he whimpered and opened his eyes. "But we have to be quiet?"

"Well, that's usually harder for you." Blaine teased happily.

Kurt stirred and groaned at the bitter taste in mouth and slowly rolled on his back, leaving the heat that was caused by sleeping cuddled to Blaine.

"I'm dying." he groaned and rolled further, almost falling off the bed as a result. He touched his aching stomach and groaned at the dried come there. Right. Drunk sex, no clean up. Mistakes from the past. Kurt looked at the clock and almost whimpered aloud, which would probably wake up everyone. It was seven in the morning and he was awake. Just like that, the sun was too bright and everything hurt. Flying with a harness was amazing. Bruises on his thighs the day after? Not so much.

Kurt picked up the boxers from the floor and put on a robe to cover himself and tied it up to make sure it didn't open on his way to the bathroom. He left after grabbing a towel and quickly, quietly sneaked to the bathroom. Semi-warm shower and coffee plus some Advil was what he needed.

Two tuna sandwiches and an avocado salad was what Kurt thought would be a perfect lunch for a short break he could take before he had to prepare for stage combat class. He heard Blaine singing already when he entered the wing that dance studio was placed in. The room was reserved for a few days for Blaine and June only. Kurt frowned when he entered the room and saw Blaine. The last time he saw him sad and singing it didn't really end well for their relationship. Kurt smiled again. It couldn't be anything bad. They were happy together and there was no reason to expect any troubles. The showcase was coming, they were both doing amazing in school and their relationship felt like it couldn't be better. Kurt put the lunch bag on a piano and looked at Blaine.

"I brought you lunch but it looks like you already had desert." Kurt glanced at the table in the middle of the room. "That was nice. Are you going to put that in a showcase?"

"June doesn't want you in the showcase. And she never did." Blaine said quietly. Kurt looked at him and took a deep breath. He was right. Something was wrong. And it felt terrible.

"So you've been lying to me this whole time?" he raised his eyebrows and glared at Blaine.

Before he realised what he was doing his next response to Blaine's apology was sending the lunch bag flying across the room. And it actually scared Kurt. He was never a violent person and he didn't recognise himself in this. He left the room quickly after making sure Blaine knew he wasn't trusted anymore.

Kurt ran through the empty hallway and only stopped when he was in the auditorium. He looked around while trying to catch his breath. Kurt smiled sadly and sat on the edge of the stage. His best memories from first weeks in NYADA were connected to that place. Adam's Apples were slowly becoming his family before he screwed it up. And now it just felt sad. He missed them. In the business of an everyday life it wasn't as obvious but Kurt realised, he missed his friends that weren't a crazy group of high school classmates he spent most of his time with.

Kurt got startled when he heard the door opening. He looked in that direction and swallowed heavily. Adam entered the room with a few club members. Kurt bit his lip, waiting for them to notice him. He should have thought better. Adam still kept coming to school to help with running Adam's Apples and work with teachers on his auditions and Kurt shouldn't just sit in the auditorium. Adam asked him to leave the group and he had every right to. So why did Kurt act thoughtlessly and go somewhere he wasn't welcomes?

Adam froze as he was Kurt and so did Nia, making the rest of the group almost bump at them.

"What are you doing here?!" Mike asked sharply after noticing him.

Kurt bit his lip and stood up.

"I'm... Sorry, I didn't know you'd be here today." he murmured and picked up his bag from the stage.

"We're here every day." Mike rolled his eyes and pointed at the exit.

Kurt nodded and climbed up the stairs, trying to avoid any touch with Adam.

"I'm sorry." he whispered to him and left the auditorium. He was almost out of the school by the time Nia caught up with him and grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, Kurt!"

"Nia, I know I screwed up and I know you don't want me there, I'm sorry." Kurt said sharply. He didn't turn around to look at her because he knew she could see tears in his eyes. Everything was going just terribly and he was ready for the day to be over. Just one more person to lose and he could go to the flat and straight to bed.

"I'm not mad at you." Nia said quietly. Kurt made a noise that was supposed to be a laugh but resembled a said groan more. "I noticed you're not looking happy. And I don't want you to feel like you can't come to us with it..."

"Yeah. But I can't. Half of you are really irritated with me and the rest just hate me. And you have the right to. I understand this. I did wrong and you have to protect your friend. There are no hard feelings on my side but you just don't have to pretend." Kurt said quietly, his voice shaking.

"It's not... That. Well, it is that." Nia said quickly and Kurt finally turned around and stared at her. "But I care about you. And I'm not the only one. Adam is a big boy, he can live with having a few people not taking sides extremely."

"Nia, I..." Kurt smiled sadly. "I appreciate this, I do. But this has been Adam's world long before I came into the picture and I don't want to... I don't want to be a burden in it. I was enough of it already with what I did."

Nia nodded slowly and sighed.

"You're never going to be a burden. You still have my number, right? Call me if you need anything." she hugged Kurt and went back to the auditorium.