A/N:

- Vanessa: you should be more careful about proposing to perfect strangers, you know ;-) One of them might take you to your word one day :-P Anyway: that's a hard bargain you drive, girl, but I'm afraid I'll have to turn your offer down. You see, I come with, erm, "accessories", and I don't think that basket of yours would hold me and my husband and our son :-D Can I still have the cookies, though?

- cfox: thanks for the sweet review, but I must admit you got me confused when you mentioned the "fun" story O.o ... Ah well, as long as you like it ;-)

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About this chapter: I'm not sure why I feel the need to repeat it, but this is not romance, OK? So no, those strange new feelings have nothing to do with romantic feelings. If you can't figure out what they are, then try to remember being a kid, and being hurt or confused, and being comforted by a trusted adult, that should give you the general idea.

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I don't always remember to include it, because in my mind it goes without saying:

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

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Chapter six: Strange New Feelings

Yumichika lay still, listening intently, panic flooding his body. A man had crept into his room, into his bed, and was now lying right next to him. He could feel the man's body heat radiate all the way to his bones, he could feel the man's breath in his hair, he could feel the man's hands on his body, he could even hear the man's heartbeat. Yumichika didn't want this, he wanted the man gone, he wanted to be left alone. He started lashing out, hitting, scratching, and yelling too. But the man was strong and he was fast, and now he had managed to grab both of Yumichika's wrists and he was holding them still. He was talking too, though Yumichika couldn't quite hear what he was saying. Yumichika fought harder, yelling and pleading and crying, and all the while the man's voice grew louder and louder, until finally Yumichika could properly hear it and understand what it said:

" Kid!! Wake up! "

Yumichika's eyes flew open. For a moment, he looked wildly around him, not recognising where he was. Terror was coursing through his body, blood was pounding in his ears, he was covered in sweat, and he was gasping for breath. Then his gaze found something his brain recognised as familiar, and Yumichika stared and stared and stared until finally something snapped in place in his head and he understood what he was looking at : a face, Ikkaku's bald face, looking oddly grey in the thin light of early morning. Relief flooding his entire being, Yumichika closed his eyes and felt himself going limp at the realisation that the man in his bed had just been a nightmare, that he wasn't real, that even though Ikkaku was indeed lying next to him and holding his wrists, things weren't like they had been in his dream.

He felt Ikkaku lowering him gently back onto the ground and wrapping him tightly into the blanket, and he listened as the man busied himself with the usual morning affairs: building a small fire, boiling some water, making tea... Yumichika waited, eyes half-closed, as his heart rate and his breathing returned to normal, and the fog in his brain cleared up. He slowly sat up, still hugging the blanket close to him, when he heard Ikkaku pour the tea into the cups, just in time to take the one Ikkaku was already handing him. He sipped the hot drink in silence, relishing the warmth that was spreading steadily from his stomach and hands throughout his body. Each mouthful seemed to take him a step further away from the memory of his nightmare, and a step closer to the real world around him.

They had been on the road for several days now, but Yumichika still shuddered when he remembered the events of the day they had left the inn. He remembered the determined look on the cleaning girl's face when she had burst into his room, opened his window, pulled him out of bed and told him to hurry, because there were men looking for him. He remembered the ball of terror that had exploded in his stomach at her words, how he had decided to believe her for the time being, and how the adrenaline had allowed him to walk even on his broken leg, with her help, all the way to the storage room. He remembered getting stuffed into the barrel, how dark and stinky it was in there, how helpless and scared he had felt, not knowing who would be looking down at him the next time the top would come off the barrel, not knowing if maybe the girl had in fact imprisoned him in order to hand him over to someone else later. He had thought of trying to escape, of course, but the shooting pain in his leg had clearly told him that this was an unrealistic idea.

He had had way too much time to think during the long hours he'd been left in that barrel, and he'd wondered not only who the men were - were they from the orphanage? - , but also how they had known where to find him. Who had told them about him? Was it the innkeeper? The doctor? The girl? Or was it maybe... Ikkaku? For some reason, this one particular thought created a very painful feeling in his chest and brought tears to his eyes, though he couldn't figure out why. The girl had said she'd leave him there until Ikkaku came back - though she had returned once in-between to help him put on some much-needed warm clothing - , but what if Ikkaku didn't come back? If he was the one who had sold him, then he wouldn't come back, would he? Or maybe he would, but that would only be to take him to the men himself! So many possibilities, all more terrible the one than the next...

Yumichika remembered how his mind had reeled, and how in the end he had forced himself to focus on one thought only: Ikkaku would come back to save him again. It was very unlikely, but it was the only thought that didn't fill him with despair, so he forced himself to hang onto it throughout the long dark hours he spent all alone in his barrel. And when Ikkaku had finally come back, and Yumichika had looked up into his grim face, he'd known instinctively that Ikkaku wasn't the one who had ratted him out to the men after all, and that yes, he was going to save him again. He'd felt another very strange feeling in his chest at that moment, a good feeling this time, one that had made him feel warm for some reason.

It had been several days ago already, and every day since then had been the same. They would wake up early and have tea and maybe bread or whatever was left over from the previous night's dinner, if anything. Then Ikkaku would pack the bag, he would help Yumichika get onto his back, and off they would go, through the woods and the fields, always keeping close to the river. Ikkaku had said that he didn't want to go on the roads and Yumichika knew that it was because of the men who were looking for him. They would walk for several hours, and then they would stop by the river when the sun was high, and Ikkaku would take off Yumichika's bandages and he would wash them and leave them to dry on stones. He would also carefully wash Yumichika's wounds, the few big ones that hadn't fully closed yet, and he would insist that Yumichika let them dry freely in the air too. Then once the bandages were dry again, he would replace them on the wounds, and he would re-set the crude cast that held Yumichika's lower leg straight (two sticks of wood tied together by bandages, really), and Yumichika would go up on his back, and off they would go, looking for some place - a farm, a village - to buy food for their dinner.

Whenever they would get close to other people, Ikkaku would insist that Yumichika hide his face by placing it in the crook of the man's neck and by letting his hair (Yumichika's hair, since Ikkaku didn't have any) cover his face as much as possible. And strangely enough, Yumichika had come to like those moments, even look forward to them, because for some unknown reason the smell of Ikkaku's skin made him feel relaxed, it seemed to chase away the fear and anxiety that were always present in the pit of his stomach.

Another time that Yumichika both feared and looked forward to was the moment when they lay down for the night. They had only one blanket, so they were forced to share it, and Yumichika both hated and relished that. Of course, they could have bought a second blanket, but Yumichika suspected that Ikkaku didn't want to because he didn't trust Yumichika not to try and run away during the night, so he preferred to keep him close while he was sleeping. And Yumichika was terrified to admit it, even if it was only to himself, but he actually enjoyed sleeping with the man's strong arms around him. He was always highly uncomfortable at first of course, as his survival instincts screamed at him to run away from the close physical contact, but once he managed to relax enough, he felt one of those strange new feelings blooming in his chest and spreading warmth throughout his body. Even the feeling of Ikkaku's regular breath in his hair, which always panicked him at first, ended up calming him in the end.

Yumichika couldn't explain it, but he knew he enjoyed those strange new quiet relaxing sensations that he felt when Ikkaku held him.