I don't own Twilight -tear-
AN: Well I am glad that so many people added this to their story alert but I would appreciate a few more reviews, but oh well. I change POV's a lot but not as much as lat chapter. And the cat thing will be important in the next chapter or two. Enjoy. ;)
Chapter Six: Fuse
Bella POV
Rose and Emmett had run off to their room while Esme was in hers reading. Edward and I went back to my house for a while so I could asked Charlie if I could stay one more night-which he said yes to-, cook him dinner, and grab more clothes.
Soon enough, we were about to set of for Edward's house again. But, we stopped when we got outside. There, on my door step, was a very old gray cat.
"Where did she come from?" Edward asked puzzled.
"I don't know." I said. Then I started to talk to the cat. "Where did you come from little girl, huh?" I picked up the cat. Maybe I shouldn't have done this, but she seemed clean enough and it's not like it could kill me.
"Bella! Put that thing down! It might have fleas or some type of disease!" Edward hissed at me.
"Oh calm down! It's not like it can kill me." Stupid over-protective-vampire I loved.
"You never know…"
"I'll just give it some food and then we'll go, but, wait," I cut him off as I turned back to him. "He needs a name. What should we call him?"
Edward gave me that are-you-serious look. "You want to keep it?"
"Well, maybe. What should we call her? Come on Edward….I will call you Eddie if you don't say something." I teased.
"You wouldn't dare." He said with wide eyes. I gave him the 'I'm waiting' look. "Um…Mama cat? I don't know." He pleaded.
"No…I like Grandma. We'll call you grandma since you are old and gray." I said.
I gave Grandma some leftovers, and soon enough, we were at Edward's house again thanks to his hasty driving. Edward and I sat on the couch watching holiday movies- The Grinch to be exact. It was a little uncomfortable because of his bells digging into my back, but I got past it. When we were half way through the movie, he asked me,
"Do you think Carlisle would have liked to have watched this with us?"
"Ha. I don't think so. He would probably kill Alice if she made him go to work in that. But, at least he took off saying he was sick so he didn't have to." I turned to face him so that now I was lying right beside him. "Would you like you go anywhere? Rudolph?" I asked mischievously.
"Not until tomorrow." He said as he looked up at his lopsided antlers. Then he looked back at me as he realized something. "So- are you and Charlie putting up a Christmas Tree? You didn't have it up yet."
"Yes. Charlie hasn't gotten it yet." I said, but I had no clue when he was going to get it. We were supposed to put it up this week. But that hadn't happened yet. "I would ask you the same but I already know the answer." I responded.
"Yeah, Alice gets a little excited about Christmas." He said with a small chuckle.
"A little?" I asked sarcastically. "That is a very large understatement."
"Okay, very over-excited."
"That sounds about right. Why does she by the way?"
"Well…." He was cut off by the sound of someone tearing down their drive-way at a ridiculous speed.
"Speak of the devil….." I said.
In a minute, the front door of the house flew open and banged against the wall. Alice stood triumphantly in the door way with a huge smirk on her face. Her Santa hat was perched on her cocked head still and all she needed to complete her super-hero pose was a cape.
"Alice?" I asked. Edward looked a little annoyed. He must have been reading her thoughts or trying to.
"Yes- it is I! Alice! Master of all Christmas decorations and plans." She declared.
"Oh great Alice, we bow before your awesome-ness!" I gave a small bow, as much as I could over the back of the couch. Edward and I were both kneeling on the cushions so we could kneel and face her in the door way.
"You should! My plan is amazing!" she said exultantly.
"Alice….." Edward groaned. "Please stop singing High School Musical! You sing it all the time now! Please stop!" he said as he butted his head against the back of the couch. "Remind me why we let you see that movie?"
"Because I wanted too and you couldn't stop me, and …..No." Alice said as she threw her head back pompously. "If you don't want to hear it, don't read my thoughts to see my plan! Wait like a good little vampire."
Just then, Jasper flew into the living room and dropped ten bags into the middle of the floor. He did this about ten times and ran at vampire speed on each trip. When he was done, he sat down while unnecessarily gasping for air.
"Did you get it all Jazz?" Alice implored as she bounced over to us.
"Yes dear…" he said morosely.
There was something about Jasper's expression that wasn't just right; he had a very vague look on his face and was staring off into space. I looked at Edward questioningly. He appeared to be deep in thought- apparently snooping around in Jasper's thoughts now. I waited until he was done.
"Good. God." Edward said to Jasper when he snapped out of it. "And I thought I had it bad having to wear the costume around here!"
"What happened to you Jasper? Are you okay?" I asked him. He looked at me like he was thunderstruck
Japer POV
Was I okay? WAS I OKAY!? I was the farthest thing from okay I had ever been since I got banned form Toys 'r' Us! I was humiliated, violated, shamed, and stalked all in one day! NO! I was not okay!
"NO!" I said to Bella. "I have been humiliated, violated, shamed, and stalked all in one day!" I repeated my thoughts to her. She looked confused, shocked and interested so I began to recount my tale for her and Edward who had already seen some of it in my thoughts. Soon, they were laughing and I was fuming.
I recalled the part where I realized I was still wearing the costume and took the picture with Santa tersely. Then I went into more detail when Alice went outside to do only God knows what to the house.
"Well, after I got the buggies, Alice went down aisles and aisles of Christmas decorations. When we were half way down the rows we were searching through, I noticed the lady that had played Santa!" I shuddered. "She was following us! She stayed right behind ME for about ten minutes. It was so creepy! And when she walked by me to get past me and the wall one time, she got all on me and was pushing herself on me like she could hardly squeeze through the gap! And you know what she said, 'Excuse me sexy.' I felt, no FEEL, so violated! And, then, I went into the bathroom, which is a truly vile place! It is viler than Mike Newton!"
"That is very vile!" Edward and Bella said in unison with wide eyes.
"Well I went in there to try and wash some 'HER' fungus off of me, and I was standing in front of the mirror. Someone came out of the stall behind me, and I could see them in the mirror. And it was HER- no HIM. The SHE was a HE. It was a cross-dresser! AHH! That made things even worse because the he- no she- I'll just call it 'it'- well 'it' got all up behind me and…….and……" I trailed off in horror with wide eyes.
I was dry sobbing now and I was curled into the fetal position on the floor rocking back and forth at the memory of my trauma. The only way that situation could have been worse was if it was Michael Jackson!
"You have to be kidding me!" Edward roared between laughs. Bella was turning purple from laughing too hard. Their laughs made me compose myself and come out of my ball.
"Well, 'it' was all like 'let me give you my number' and 'what are you doing this weekend?"! I was so frightened and disgusted I just ran out of the bathroom. Then when I came out, Alice was in hysterics. She was sprawled out like a two year old on the aisle floor. But, she was LAUGHING at what had happened to ME." I said shocked.
Emmett and Rose came down stairs laughing their heads off with Esme and Carlisle. They had heard my entire story. Great, now Emmett would never let me live this down.
"Oh, can it, Frosty!" I snapped.
"At least I am not the one who got hit on by a he-she-wanna-be elf boy!" Emmett boomed. I clenched my teeth and continued my story.
"Anyway, when we were going through one aisle, in the middle of the store, Alice just starts throwing box after box into the buggies! Screaming all the while, 'These are them! I finally have my lights!' People were looking at her like she was crazy. She was just throwing them in random carts five at a time. Before I knew what happened, every buggy was full and the whole shelf on the aisle was empty. It looked like a tornado had hit! Then we got to the check out and there were so many items that the computer said 'overload' and we had to split it up into three different sections so that the computer could handle the amount of items purchased. "
By the end of my little narrative about what had happened, everyone in the room was doubled over in laughter while I was still in a state of shock. Obviously, they would never doubt Alice again.
Alice POV
I could hear everyone in the living room laughing at Jasper and my little shopping trip. I didn't care though. Neither would they when they saw the house! I was beaming while I spread the lights over the roof. Now I understood the usefulness of having bush lights that were in a net style that were extra-large. I definitely had to take my hat off to the good people at Wal-Mart for making this possible.
I was on the roof plugging in lights when I heard a nose in the pile of destroyed boxes that the lights came in that were lying on the ground around the garden. I peered over the edge of the house and saw Emmett. That sneaky little pervert! He was trying to see my plan! A fire raged in my eyes. I jumped off the edge of the house and landed on his back- knocking him to the ground.
"What the….Alice get off of me! Get off!" he yelled as I beat him in the head with light packages.
"NO! I told you all to not come outside and see! OR peek! You rotten little cheater!" I yelled. He managed to get me off his back, but then I just started to chase him around the house with packages.
He ran up to the door of the house and was trying to open it, but they had locked him outside. I grinned wickedly. He was mine now!
"Alice…" he said sweetly as he turned his back against the door to face me. "I wasn't trying to peek…..I just wanted to know if you needed anything…."
"Oh no- you tried, and now you will pay!" I looked at the light box in my upraised hand and he did too.
Then he turned back to the door and started to beat on it, "Let me in! For God sake's she has light boxes! LET ME IN!"
Bella POV
After Jazz had told us his story and calmed down, we all sat in the living room talking and laughing. That was when Emmett got the brilliant idea to go and see what the 'plan' was. When he left, the boys started making bets.
"Ten bucks says he last five minutes!" Jasper said.
"Twenty says he goes three or less!" Edward countered him.
"Deal!" Jasper said as he shook Edwards's hand. Boys….
When Emmett go tout the door, the started timing him. We heard Alice jump off the roof of the house and start screaming at Emmett after one minute. Next thing we knew Emmett was pounding on the door we had locked behind him. It was hard to resist not doing it so we did despite the fact it was evil!
In two minutes we heard Emmett at the door trying to get in. And then beg for mercy.
"Alice…" we heard him say sweetly. It was hard to stifle our giggles so we could hear him. "I wasn't trying to peek…..I just wanted to know if you needed anything…." We heard him try to justify himself.
"Oh no- you tried, and now you will pay!" Alice yelled back at him.
Then he turned back to the door and started to beat on it, "Let me in! For God sake's she has light boxes! LET ME IN!" he screamed just like a girl as Alice began to beat him with them and chase him around the yard.
"I win!" Edward claimed. Jasper sighed and handed him ten dollars.
Alice POV
When I had finished beating Emmett, they had let him back inside, and connecting the roofing lights, I attacked the windows. I measured and plugged in and wove cords in such complicated paths that it was amazing. This would be the best Christmas ever! Two hours later, after, I had tested the last lights and I was ready for my family to see the sight that was our house.
I jumped off of the roof and stepped inside the house. "Okay everyone- you may now come and see the house!" It was a good thing it was dark already. I don't think I could have handled waiting because I was about to carry them outside so they would move faster.
Bella POV
We finally let Emmett back in the house after being abused with packages. In the middle of bashing on him for what he said and did, Alice came in and proclaimed, "Okay everyone- you may now come and see the house!"
She looked like she was about to explode with excitement so Edward carried me while he ran out into the yard to get a good view of the house.
"Are you ready for this?" Alice yelled at us while we were waiting in the yard.
"Yes!" we all yelled back.
"Get ready…Here it goes."
The whole house lit up in one bright instant. There were net lights all over the roof that made it glow like there were stars on the roof. The porch columns had the same white lights as those on the roof wrapped around them, and there was green garland, red bows, and white lights around every window as well. It was beautiful, and so bright that for a moment it blinded my unadjusted eyes. But, a few seconds was as long as the show lasted.
I had just enough time to take in the view of the house before I heard a loud popping noise and then the whole house went dark. Alice starting cursing like a sailor. Everyone in the yard said, "What the…." at the same time that the lights went out.
Carlisle ran into the house and came back a minute later. "Well, there won't be anymore lights tonight. Alice's decorations overloaded the breaker and blew a fuse." Carlisle said.
"I what? There can't be anymore what?" Alice screamed. She was now on the verge of a mental breakdown. Not good- this meant that she had to resort to her plan B, whatever that may be.
I looked up at Edward who was smirking.
"What?" I asked him.
"Maybe Alice's hair is sticking straight up like Einstein's."
"Possibly, but what do we do now? There are no lights."
"Well, I don't know exactly." He said as he scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the house.
It was pitch black, and, with my luck, I would have tripped over everything and broken my neck on the trip back if Edward had not carried me. He sat me down in the floor of the living room in the circle where everyone else was, everyone except Alice. He sat down beside me and his hand found mine in the dark. They had no trouble seeing, but I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. So Esme gratefully brought me a flashlight.
"Well, what do we do now that Alice's light show is over?" Emmett asked.
Suddenly, Alice came running into the room carrying something. Edward groaned. I shined my light at her and saw that she was holding sheet music and scarves. I groaned to when I saw what it was. Emmett and Jasper started to pout and Rose looked bored happy, as Alice shouted,
"Christmas Caroling!"
Please forgive typos I am getting a little tired. I don't like the ending of this chapter but oh well it is okay. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but the power was out at my house yesterday, and then it went out again today! So frustrated! But please review and if you want a specific chapter or have funny ideas they are welcome too!