Disclaimer: This is a fan fic, meaning, I do not own any Harry Potter characters you recognize, I do not own the settings, and I do not own the parts of the books I've borrowed. That belongs to JKR. The plot you don't recognize is indeed mine. I hope you enjoy my playing in JKR's playground!
Author's Note: Lots of warnings on this chapter, dears. We start off right away with some self-harm and discussion continues through this chapter. It's not extremely descriptive, but I want you to make sure you're in a safe spot to be reading it all the same. Remember – your health safety is more important!
Chapter 7
It was the first Friday night of October, at the end of supper, when Ginny was running through the halls with a dampening spell on her shoes and a silencing charm on herself as she sobbed. She needed to get to a little used lavatory to be alone tonight. She didn't want to be seen by the others in the common room after the news from earlier in the day.
Two students had been called to the Headmistress' Office just before supper. The seventh year Ravenclaw had turned against the fifth year Gryffindor when they were faced with the news that their mother had been sent to Azkaban for being a Muggleborn that stole magic, at least according to the Muggleborn Commission. The seventh year stood with the Ministry, while the fellow Gryffindor (and DA member) had stood firm and said it was ridiculous. She had almost been pulled off school grounds by the Ministry official at that statement. It was only the Headmistress' quick thinking that prevented it.
The reminder of an older sibling turning against a younger hurt her deep. Ginny didn't talk about Ron often, and though she loved him, her relationship with him was strained at times. She had spoken to Luna about it at large in their second and even third years, but she otherwise kept silent. But seeing a family torn apart in such a way hit her hard, and deep.
When she reached the lavatory, she quickly pushed up her sleeves and took her knife to her arms. She needed this tonight, even though she knew she shouldn't. She needed to feel something other than shame, to feel as if she were unwanted, to feel as if she was polluted and dark. The first cut steadied her world again. The second showed her that her blood was still untainted by evil, and that she still lived. A third, and her deepest of the night, centered her and allowed her tears to have a reason.
The more the blood beaded up from the cuts on her forearms, the more she calmed. She knew better than this now, even though he had given in a few times over the past half year, but tonight this was what she felt she needed most. She needed a reason to take care of herself without feeling too guilty about it. She still felt terrible, really, and horribly guilty that another family was being torn apart, in part for a student's want to participate in a rebellion. She knew it wasn't her fault the Gryffindor girl has spoken up for her beliefs (and the truth), but Ginny knew many DA members did so easily because of their discussions and rebellious nature of the group and she felt partially responsible. But she had punished herself for it, and now she could take care of herself.
When the bleeding appeared to be slowing, Ginny took some tissue to start applying pressure over the cuts. As the blood was sopped up, she applied more until they were white on the top layer. She held them in place, and sighed. Self-care was so difficult to do this year as it was a lot harder to slip away and hide, even with this. Her guilt was starting to build, but it was too late for that. So she settled next to a sink and waited for a bit longer until she felt she could get herself good and clean before wrapping her arm. It wouldn't take long. Almost not long enough to really calm herself with the ritual.
She started to clean up in the sink, wiping away all the drying blood and cleaning the cuts out with soap, when the door opened. Ginny's head turned sharply and she made to hide her arm, though she knew it would be too noticeable to actually be a helpful movement. Draco closed the door softly, and sighed. "Luna thought you might be in here. She said she'd be up as soon as she could comfort her Ravenclaws, but that you had some wrackspurts that needed clearing," he explained as he moved closer to the sink.
Ginny sighed herself. Luna. Of course. Her friend always seemed to know when she was hurting, but often left her alone until she was ready to discuss it. Ginny knew Luna had sensed she had taken up the practice again, but hadn't pushed. She wondered if Draco had asked Luna about it, though. He had enough information to piece it together from the summer. "Just cleaning up," she said softly, trying to hide her arm but knowing it would be futile as she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Cleaning up?" he said in a questioning tone, but not asking outright.
Ginny chose not to explain how she got the cuts, though her knife sitting on the sink ledge was a dead giveaway. "I just need to finish washing and then I can wrap my arm," she explained, also not volunteering any information. She wrapped her arm in a clean bandage before securing it with a piece of plaster. She felt the young man's hand move down and touch the bandage lightly, not enough to hurt but she definitely felt a bit of pressure.
"Can you tell me how this happened, Ginny?" he asked softly. She breathed in sharply, knowing that she couldn't deny it any longer and that she owed him this secret. She was about to speak when the door opened again and the pair looked up. Luckily, it was just Luna.
"Mm, the wrackspurts are still hanging around. I sense we're not in for a positive night," the blonde said and she approached the pair and noticed Ginny's bandaged arm. "Have you told him yet?" she asked, looking into Ginny's eyes.
"Just about to, luv," she said. Ginny pulled them both to the closest wall and they sat down. Luna wrapped an arm around Ginny's shoulders in a half-hug for support, while Draco was keeping a hand on her bandaged arm. One Muffilato charm later, she was ready to begin. "Let me tell you a little bit about what happened when I awoke after nearly dying in the Chamber of Secrets over four years ago.
"When I woke up in the Hospital Wing, I was disoriented, confused, and I was missing huge chunks of my memory. Understandably so, though I didn't understand it at the time, my parents were upset, angry, and frustrated. My father asked me why I hadn't known better, and I thought he was blaming me for everything that had happened. My mother didn't protest, and I thought she, too, was blaming everything on me. I wouldn't admit that to either of them, but I felt it was my fault and was certain I wouldn't be allowed back to Hogwarts after nearly killing so many people.
"I hadn't yet been told that it was Tom who had been controlling me, only that it had been the diary. I made the connection on my own, of course, as some of my memories starting coming back, but by then I was convinced it was my own fault as my parents had seemed to imply it. Again, I know now that they were just frustrated and probably afraid for me, but my twelve year old mind didn't understand that. And so over the summer, as my brothers tiptoed around me and I felt even more isolated than I had the entire school year, I became very lonely and depressed. We couldn't afford a Mind Healer, and Dumbledore could only afford to stop by and talk to me once a week, maybe a bit less frequently even.
"I thought I needed to be punished for hurting so many people, and especially for the blame being placed on completely innocent people. So I started cutting. I don't really remember what made me think to try it or how I even learned about it. Perhaps it was an accident. But how I started doesn't really matter as much as the fact that I had. It brought me a bit of relief from more than just the guilt I felt - it helped me feel something other than depressed, as well.
"In addition to all of that, I did mention my brothers tiptoeing around me. Fred and George, my dear twin brothers, just wanted me to be okay, to be the smiling sister who taught herself to fly on their brooms. They tried to make me smile, and they succeeded more often than not, but they were more cautious than usual and that hurt too. I thought they were afraid of me; I know now they were afraid for me as they saw me withdraw into myself.
"Ron, though, did a complete turn on me. I have always been closer to my older brothers than to Ron, but I thought he would be there for me as he was closest to my age and had tried to rescue me. But instead, as soon as he found out that Tom Riddle had actually possessed me, he seemed to want to disown me. He wouldn't look at me, he wouldn't play with me, and he wouldn't speak to me. He didn't even want to sit next to me at the dinner table for meals. It hurt me a lot, more than I think anyone realized.
"He didn't even want to accept me back to school, honestly, when we went to the train station for his third year. Dumbledore had continued to come nearly every week to speak with me, as well as to determine if I had retained enough from my first year to not need tutoring for my second year. He had assured me I would be allowed back. He repeatedly told me that it was not my fault, that what had happened to me was not my decision, and whenever your will was taken from you, you were not to blame or to feel guilty for the actions done. Dumbledore advocated for me completely, but that hadn't been good enough for Ron.
"All through this, every time Ron so obviously hated me, I cut. I didn't know what else to do at the time, and I didn't believe Dumbledore yet either, and the guilt was eating me up. I almost feigned sickness to miss the train on September first that year, but Mum caught on. Ron didn't want to be seen with me, and I avoided him on the train and in the common room as much as possible, knowing he would just try to poison people against me. I kept to myself, studying instead with Luna, in the Library. It wasn't until Harry got wind of how Ron had been treating me that anything started to change.
"Harry started to say hello to me in the common room, or say something at meals in the Great Hall. Ron never went against anything Harry did, and it took him quite some time to come to terms with everything. But eventually Harry's acceptance of me and insistence that I was not going to be the next Dark Lord just because I had been possessed was what Ron needed, apparently.
"As I started to be accepted more in general, thanks to Harry's small gestures, I found I didn't need to cut as often. Oh, I still did and do when things get really rough or I was really stressed, but I slowed up. I had a really bad incident once and Luna took me to Madame Pomfrey, where I got quite a counseling session. That's when I started helping out around the Hospital Wing, and why I have a friendship with the matron. I have been trying to find other coping mechanisms, but tonight just took me back to that summer after my second year. When I heard about that older brother turning on the younger sister," Ginny gasped, choking up a bit as she was lost in her memories again. She felt Luna hugging her close, and Draco put a comforting hand on her back as the tears fell.
"It's okay. It reminded you, and you didn't know what else to do so you turned to what was familiar to you back in those memories," Draco offered up in explanation for her. She just nodded, grateful he didn't seem to be condemning her or demanding she go to Madame Pomfrey immediately. This had been something else her family wouldn't ever understand, and she had been grateful when Madame Pomfrey hadn't immediately owled her parents.
"I don't do this often anymore, regardless of what you've seen in the past few months," she offered. "It's just been hard, with the dreams and everything." And with that out of the way, the group of three just sat as they thought through everything. Ginny hoped Draco understood better now why she kept telling him Ron might come around with enough support from Harry. And she wondered what the Gryffindor Trio was up to right now. She really did love her brother, and she worried about him.
When she started to shiver, Draco moved to pull her and Luna up off the cold stone floor. "Do you need to see Madame Pomfrey to get those cleaned up?" he asked, careful not to seem forceful. Luna beamed at him for that.
"No, I'll be okay. They aren't deep, so I can keep them clean enough on my own," Ginny answered. Luna hugged her close, and whispered something in her ear to make her giggle. "Luna said the two of you will have to work to keep the wrackspurts from me, but I think you'll be up to the task," Ginny explained as she forced a smile at Draco. She and Luna walked to the door, and checked the hall. Seeing it was clear, they motioned Draco to follow them out quickly, before anyone would catch them. Draco headed to the right with a goodnight, while the two young women turned left to continue on to their towers.
Luna stuck to her like a sticking charm, chatting about easier subjects. Ginny knew her friend was trying to raise her spirits and keep her brain focused on happier thoughts to avoid nightmares. She was really lucky to have a best friend as amazing as Luna.
-x-
The next few weeks progressed somewhat normally. The Ministry seemed insistent on questioning the half-blood students on their heritage, so many nights found the library full of students tracing ancestry lines. No one wanted to be carted off Hogwarts grounds. There were many instances of teary-eyed students leaving the Headmistress' Office.
Both Luna and Draco seemed to keep a closer eye on Ginny on the evenings they heard of such difficult meetings, but she found she didn't mind. With smaller classes and combining the sixth and seventh years into the same time slot, Ginny had been spending a lot of time with Draco between planning for the Defence class, the recreational Defence Flying, and just working on homework assignments. Luna often joined them when the pair met either in the Great Hall or the Library, and Ginny felt that Draco was finally warming up to the odd blond. She had been worried when she first invited Luna to join them, but it had gone well enough and now the three spent most of their time together.
The flying class had continued, growing and waning each week depending on weather and homework loads. Ginny was happy with the progress, and she was glad to have a few hours a week to just let go and not worry. They were switching up the drills each week by allowing leaders from the different Houses and different years decide what to focus on. Ginny was sore after last week when Ernie lead - the Hufflepuffs apparently trained harder than Ginny had realized!
Ernie was still cautious around Draco, but he was coming around. He had asked Draco to pair up with him in Potions, and they were starting to get along fairly well. Most others were still very wary of Draco, and Ginny wasn't sure the Slytherins even bothered with him at all. Her Gryffindor house mates were still mostly ignoring her, except when they had to listen or pay attention. Neville had been the only upper year who acted as if everything was normal, for which Ginny was relieved. It was awkward enough in the common room with her losing sleep and trying to keep silent when she dreamt. Losing the support of most of her classmates was an extra toll she really didn't need.
Her dreams were coming more frequently, about once a week. Some she was able to sleep through as an observer; others, she woke up with a scream on her lips and needing a friend. Ginny had started speaking to Luna in the morning about the dreams in which she was an observer. Her friend was very astute and coached Ginny on how to observe even better to learn as much as she could from her dreams, and determine what they meant. But Ginny didn't want to expose Luna to her frightening dreams. For those, she chose to go to Draco. Sometimes she would wait until morning, especially if she woke up late enough in the night to stay awake. Otherwise, she found herself pacing in front of the Room of Requirement, hoping she wouldn't get caught and hoping the Room would open to the correct room. It hadn't let her down yet, though she had only visited twice.
Today, though, she was visiting Draco for a different reason. The truth had finally come out about Draco's life as the son of a Death Eater.
Today, Ginny had seen Draco cry.
It was Friday, and they had had the Defence class that afternoon as was normal. There was to be a Halloween Feast in the evening, so the four student leaders had decided to have a discussion style class that would allow them to end early and have some free time to prepare for the feast. Since the Imperius Curse was a review lesson and one that was due to be part of the sixth year curriculum in a standard year, they had decided to cover that topic.
They had opted to set the rarely used desks in a circle so they could hold a discussion. Luna opened with the basics of the spell, the effects, and how to try to break free. From there, they had discussed what the fake Professor Moody had demonstrated back in their third and fourth years, and if the spell were legal. Someone mentioned that the Dark Lord had made the Unforgivables Legal now that he controlled the Ministry, which led a Hufflepuff to ask if anyone would use the spell if they were given the choice.
That's when a Gryffindor called out that Draco must have used it to convince the Headmistress of the lie she told at the end of the year, and the anger grew from there. Luna tried to get back on topic in her airy, odd way, and Ernie tried to step in to defend the young man he was slowly learning to trust. Ginny was surprised when even Neville stood up for him, pointing out that Harry trusted him enough to be able to work with him. Someone else, Ginny wasn't certain who, snarled that Harry must have been under the curse too. Neville retorted that Harry was the only one who could throw off the curse, but his voice was lost in the uproar before he could finish.
Finally, Draco spoke up, quietly at first. "You're right. I wasn't under the Curse," he started off, waiting for the roar to die down a bit before continuing. "I can throw the Curse," he continued. "And I can cast the Curse, but I haven't used it on any professor here," he went on, and it was finally quiet enough for most to hear him, though a few were still going on with every comment he said. "The Imperius isn't the only way to control someone. Fear works just as well, or better," he said, knowing they likely wouldn't believe him. However, Neville nodded, as did a few of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Ginny noticed they were the students from families who had lived through the first war. Some of her house mates, as hot headed as Ron, were going off, and asking what he ever had to fear.
"The Dark Lord, for one," Draco snarled back, not playing nice anymore. "And the monster that is my father, for far longer." Some of them paused at that, but one or two just kept going. When Ginny saw Draco loosening his tie and reaching to unbutton the top button, she reached out to him.
"You don't have to do that. They can leave and I'll be certain to let the Headmistress know they are not welcome back," she said, taking his hand and pulling on it, as she glared at the two who refused to let up. They glared back.
"His life has been perfect. He has nothing to fear," the girl said. Ginny felt her hand gently pushed away at that, and before she could stop him, Draco removed his tie and pulled the top of his shirt aside to show a smattering of scars across his shoulders and the scar at his collarbone from where it hadn't healed properly and left scar tissue.
"There's more scattered across my back, if you'd like to laugh at them. A few on my arms. One or two on my legs, though legs are easier to reach with a wand than your own back," he snarled at the girl, the only one still talking. Luna may have been the only one in the room other than Ginny who wasn't at the very least mildly surprised. Ginny didn't think he had confided in Luna yet, and she hadn't told of what she saw in the Hospital Wing, but Ginny figured her friend just knew. When the girl finally stopped talking, Draco waited for a moment before rebuttoning his shirt. Ernie said that class was dismissed and the others slowly made their way out. Ernie took the Gryffindor girl to the Headmistress, Neville accompanying him to be certain everything went smoothly.
"Draco, that was very brave," Luna said when it was just the three of them. "Your aura might have a tinge of red now," she continued, as serious as always. She didn't care of he didn't believe her - she was just speaking the truth. She picked up her bag and headed towards the door. "See you tomorrow," she said. Ginny wasn't sure if she had forgotten about the Feast or didn't expect to see them there, or wasn't planning on attending herself. When she turned back to Draco, that's when she noticed a tear track down his face.
"Come on, then. Back to your room," she said as she pulled on his arm. "The Feast isn't going to be nearly as exciting as your first year when the troll was let in, anyway," she joked. They walked back to the Room of Requirement, taking the back way to avoid the Great Hall. Ginny held a one-sided discussion about her classes and how she wasn't sure what she would actually do for her NEWTS when the time came. She spoke as if there was no wrong in the world and everything was normal - as if quidditch games were normal weekend fun, Hogsmeade trips were happening, and as if they were all studying for careers, not a war. She spoke so convincingly that she nearly fooled herself, at least long enough to get them back.
Draco removed his tie and outer robes when the room had provided them what they required, and he sat down in front of the fire that was happily cackling away. Ginny called out for afternoon tea, even if it was a bit late, and the Room acquiesced by calling a House Elf who soon returned with tea. She made his tea how he liked it - strong, with just a splash of milk - and push it into his hands, as he had done for her a number of times now. She then prepared her own, sat back, pulled a blanket over her legs, and waited.
And waited.
And waited a bit longer.
When she was certain they were going to have to call for another pot of tea, both having drained two cups already, he finally spoke. "How about a game of chess?" She nodded, uncertain as to what was going through his mind but understanding he needed something different than she did when it came to comfort and trust. So when the game appeared, she chose black, leaving him to play as white, and she waited again. The match was bound to be long, as neither would fold easily. She had time.
Ever so slowly as they played, Draco started to speak. He explained that while he knew it would likely come to this, he hadn't expected to be compelled to actually show any scars. None of his house mates had seen them, and he wouldn't have let the trio or her see them if he could have helped it. Every move, he let out a bit more, as if while he mulled over the game he was mulling over his life. An hour passed, and Ginny finally conceded when he seemed to be finished speaking, and she was ready for supper. As she tipped her king, Draco said his last piece on the matter. "And as long as he is still alive, I will live in fear. Not of him, of Tom, but him. My father. As long as he can still do this," he said, gesturing at the various scars on his back, front, and arms, "I can't be free."
Ginny nodded. She had Tom to haunt her; he had his father. Ginny thought he probably had the worse tormenter of the pair, though neither would stop until they were long dead and gone. She was as uncertain on what to say to him as he always seemed to be after her nightmares. "Well, then, it's a good thing Tom and your father are both incapable of reaching us tonight. I'm certain the Room will take care of that," she assured. She hoped it was true, and for tonight, she would trust it was true. If not for her, but for him.
She asked if supper could be sent to that room, and a House Elf quickly appeared with a selection from the Feast. Ginny chose a hearty stew and steamed vegetables, and Draco quickly requested the same. They tried to speak of more pleasant things for the rest of the evening, and fit in another game of chess, trying to pretend it was a normal Friday night during a normal year in a normal world. Ginny's fantasy world from their walk back featured prominently in this normal night, and they both touched on what they would like to do after leaving Hogwarts. Ginny was set on playing professional quidditch if she could get a contract, or working with her brother Charlie on a dragon reserve. If she could fly, she wanted to. Draco said he wasn't certain, but the Department of Mysteries held a certain appeal to him. Unfortunately, it was a big 'mystery' as to how one even applied - if one could apply at all - so he had been thinking of turning to business, if he had to. He had the brain for the math, if his arithmancy scores were anything to boast.
Their discussion lasted long into the evening, and the last thing Ginny remembered before she must have dozed off was Draco talking about quidditch and how the next World Cup was only a little over a year and a half away.
-x-
It was another running dream, though Ginny immediately knew she was being followed, and closely. Tom was chasing her, for the first time since her dreams about the Chamber, though that wasn't where she was dreaming of being trapped this time. No, this time she was in a house, a simple two story. She was running up the stairs, though her instinct told her she would be trapped. Why was she running to a room where she would be trapped? It made no sense.
She turned to the right, and found herself in a nursery. She had a very bad feeling about this. The mobile above the crib looked familiar. Old, but familiar. It wasn't hers, her parents had never lived in such a house, but she knew it from a picture somewhere. And that crib…
It was Harry's.
She recognized it from a photo. She turned, grabbing for her wand but knowing it wouldn't be there. She would be trapped. Would she be killed, like Lily? Would she survive, like Harry?
"No, Ginevra. You'll be mine, like she should have been, and he will be ours," Tom gloated. Ginny knew he was mad, he had been mad for a very, very long time, but she didn't want to believe what she was hearing.
She saw a wand pointed at her and she dodged, trying to get to the window. Surely she had a better chance of her instinctive magic saving her than she had against Tom...but he cast a stunning spell at her and she barely got away - in the opposite direction of the window. She rolled, but there was nowhere to hide, and it would only be one more spell before she was well and truly trapped…
-x-
She woke up on the floor, shoulder bruising and Draco already calling out to the Room for some bruise paste as he pulled her into a sitting position on the floor. "You're safe, Ginny. He's not here. It was a dream. You're safe," he was repeating to her slowly. Other than when he pulled her up to a sitting position, he wasn't touching her, as if he was afraid. She wasn't sure why, until she noticed she was still shielding her face with her forearms and shaking.
Her shoulder was starting to hurt. She must have landed right on it when she rolled off the couch, probably as she was rolling to dodge Tom…"Did we get the paste?" she rasped out, still shaking but trying to calm herself. "Tea, please?" she called out to the Room, hoping for something very normal to bring her a sense of comfort.
"It's here. Do you want me to leave while you put it on?" he asked, gently.
She shook her head. "I can't. Can't be alone," she said. "I've got a camisole on, anyway," she mentioned. She finally pulled her arms away from her face, breathing deep. She knew she was safe. She trusted Draco. She just needed to convince her body of the same thing. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. After a few moments, she had stopped shaking, or at least enough to undo the buttons on her shirt so she could access her shoulder. She shrugged out of her shirt, wincing, but it was manageable. She turned her head to look at her shoulder, the left one, and could see the bruise already forming. The skin itself was still red. She must have hit it very hard. She used her right hand to grab the paste and take a small amount on her fingers. The thick, sticky paste would get everywhere, and she wanted to use as little as possible. She rubbed it over the sore area as gently as possible, covering some of the surrounding area just to be safe.
She looked for a rag to wipe her fingers on, but not finding one, she used the shirt she had just removed instead. It was old, nearly threadbare, and it had belonged to one of her brothers anyway. No one would miss it. She pushed it toward the paste to put away later, but Draco picked it up and put it and the paste back on a small table before putting a cup of tea in her hands. Ginny breathed in the steam deeply. Peppermint.
Draco picked up his own cup and made to sit across from her, but she reached out her left hand to pull him down next to her. She stopped when her shoulder started to protest, but it had been enough for him to notice and change places. He sat down next to her, and when he was settled, she grabbed his hand. She held it as she slowly drank her tea, and if she was honest with herself, she didn't intend to let go unless he was really uncomfortable.
"We were in Godric's Hollow," she said. "Tom and me. He trapped me in the room Harry's mother died in. Where Tom was defeated. Only Lily and Harry weren't there. It was just me," she explained, squeezing his hand as she remembered.
"I thought about leaving through the window but he tried to stun me so I started rolling, trying to get away but there was nowhere to hide. Nowhere." She stopped. She took a few minutes to finish her tea as she started shaking again, remembering what he had said. She let go of Draco's hand as she instinctively brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them to keep them close. She continued to shake, breathing not helping and tea not calming her. After another moment, she felt Draco's arm across her middle of her back as he pulled her closer to him in a half hug. "The paste will ruin your shirt," she whispered.
"You are more important than clothes, Ginny," he whispered back. "There's more, isn't there?" he asked.
"He said I'll belong to him, like Lily should have. I think he wants to use me against Harry," she whispered, a few tears escaping. She felt she was being silly. It was just a dream! A dream about Godric's Hollow on the night so many years ago that what she had dreamed about had been destroyed, but a dream nonetheless! So why couldn't she stop shaking? He wasn't there. He couldn't get her. He wouldn't want her anyway. The Prophet only ever mentioned his never ending search for Harry. There had been nothing suggesting the Death Eaters were looking for a girl. She was just losing it…
"You aren't going crazy," Draco whispered into her ear. She must have said that last part out loud. "Dreams can and do mean something. Luna tells us that often. Do you not trust her?" Draco reasoned.
Ginny shook her head. "But if I'm not going crazy, what does all of this mean? And why me?" she asked. She thought that might be what she feared most - learning what it all meant and what the endgame was.
Draco didn't say anything to that - he didn't know either. So he held her close until the shaking stopped, then loosened his arm to give her the choice as to what she needed. She didn't move away; if anything, she moved closer to him as she let go of her knees and started to lean back towards the couch, and Draco. They stayed that way for a while, quiet. Draco was focused on the crackling fire, lost in thought about Ginny's dreams. He wish he knew more, had known more future plans before he was nearly killed, so he could help her. He hadn't heard anything about the Dark Lord hunting for anyone other than Potter. Her dreams followed an odd pattern, but for Tom to come out in tonight's dream and say Ginny would belong to him wasn't clicking. Tom wanted followers, true, and he owned their lives and souls unless they could escape. But to take Ginny didn't follow in the pattern of magical folk he went after. There was something off, and Draco couldn't put his finger on it.
He was startled back to the present when he felt Ginny's head land on his shoulder. She had finally fallen back asleep. Unfortunately, they were still sitting on the floor, and he wasn't going to let her sleep on the floor tonight, especially not on a recently bruised shoulder. He moved, slowly, and picked her up as he rose. She was fairly easy to carry, especially considering she was at least a head shorter than him. He was going to put her on his couch, which he felt was more comfortable, but the Room decided to provide him with an actual bed.
When she was settled and he covered her with the duvet, Draco whispered, "Sweetest of dreams, Ginny." He only hoped his words could be a balm for the rest of the night.
-x-
Ginny and Draco went to breakfast together, but she chose to spend the rest of her day with Luna. Though she hadn't been sharing these more disturbing dreams with her best friend, Ginny knew Draco's words from the night before rang true. Luna would be able to help her through her dream.
Since they spent the day together, Ginny wasn't that bothered by the fact that she didn't see Draco at supper. Sometimes he came, and sometimes he didn't. But when Neville mentioned he hadn't seen the Slytherin all day, Ginny started to worry. The class the day before had riled up quite a few students and she knew they would likely need to visit the Headmistress to discuss how to move forward.
She and Luna left supper cautious and wondering if Draco was okay. As they passed an often empty hallway on the third floor, Luna paused and tilted her head towards the hall as if hearing something. "I think we need to go down that way tonight," she said with a small frown. Ginny shrugged, used to Luna saying such things. It didn't stop her from pulling out her wand and proceeding forward with caution, though.
The two young women didn't get very far down the hall before Ginny heard a moan and saw the blond hair on the floor. She took off running and skidded to a stop at Draco's side. "Draco? Can you hear me? What happened?" she asked quietly as she knelt down to grab his hand.
"It seems the nargles were feeling particularly green and vicious tonight," Luna commented as she approached at her own pace. Ginny heard Draco weakly chuckle at that before coughing.
"Just an expulso," he said, trying to push it off as nothing as he struggled to sit up. Ginny could see the bruises already forming, and she worried if he had a concussion. She also saw a few cuts she figured had to be from a spell, also.
"Let's get you to the Hospital Wing, when you're feeling ready to move," she said gently, but meaning every word. She had a feeling Draco would try to avoid it. He sighed at her comment, but weakly squeezed her hand in agreement. Luna helped Ginny get Draco into a sitting position, and steadied him on the other side so he would stay upright. The three sat there in silence as Draco found the strength to move.
"The Slytherins made this personal, didn't they?" Luna quietly asked as Draco made to stand up, in a moment of absolute clarity. He only nodded, not explaining. "Why didn't you push your magic out for help earlier? We would have come before supper had you tried," Luna softly scolded.
Draco shook his head, but didn't comment. He started walking toward the Hospital Wing, supported by the two young women. They walked slowly, and disillusioned themselves when they reached the more populated areas of the castle. When they reached the Wing, Draco stopped. Luna took off their charms and pulled him inside, with Ginny following closely. They weren't seen, and entered silently, but Madame Pomfrey seemed to be waiting for the group.
"Lie down on a bed, Mister Malfoy. You'll be spending the night," she commented with one look at him. Draco turned and tried to protest, but the matron's raised eyebrow and crossed arms, a look that meant she was serious, was something that cowed Draco slightly. Ginny heard him grumbling as he settled back in the bed, and she had to stop herself from snorting. It was just another way he was similar to Harry - she had been keeping a list.
Luna just smiled at their friend before turning and hugging Ginny. "Keep the wrackspurts at bay and talk to her," she whispered in Ginny's ear before leaving the Hospital Wing. Ginny ignored the comment for now, instead focusing on Draco. He was grumbling about drinking both a pain and Dreamless Sleep potion, but was soon asleep.
"Do you know what happened?" Madame Pomfrey asked her as she was running a diagnostic scan.
Ginny shook her head. "He mentioned an expulso had been used, so I would check for a concussion. I also noticed some cuts that I believe were from a Slicing Hex, but he didn't mention those. From what Luna guessed, he had been attacked before supper, so he could have endured more and already recovered," she shared.
"You two seem to be close, and Miss Lovegood approves. Good judge of character, she is. Just how much do you trust him?" the matron asked as she continued to treat the young man. She worked slowly enough for Ginny to follow along, without prolonging any necessary care.
"Well, I finally told him the truth about these," she mentioned, broaching the topic Luna wanted her to discuss with Madame Pomfrey by placing a hand on her forearm. "And I told him the truth about Ron and myself. I suppose that means I trust him quite a bit now." Ginny couldn't look the healer in the eyes as she admitted she had been struggling with both topics again.
Madame Pomfrey looked the girl over at that. Very few people knew how deeply her brother had hurt her. Ginny hadn't been extremely open with her about it, but the matron knew about her harming herself, and they had discussed it various times through Ginny's Hogwarts career. The matron always took note for any new scars whenever the young woman had ended up in the Hospital Wing, and they had occasionally talked through her current struggles. Ron still featured prominently, and it caused the matron's heart to ache for the girl.
"Do you need me to heal anything for you?" Madame Pomfrey asked the young woman, eyes shifting to her forearms where she had seen her hand land. Ginny looked as if she would deny it, but then tilted her head slightly, took in the honest offer, and nodded her head.
"Same promise as before? If I explain why, you won't bring it up with my family?" she asked. When the matron nodded, Ginny gently placed Draco's hand back on the bed, and moved to a bed right next to his to give Madame Pomfrey more room to work. She rolled up both sleeves, and she ripped off the plasters covering them. The older cuts were healed, but the newer ones criss-crossed a few of the old and looked as if they could be irritating the sensitive tissue.
"I'll grab an antiseptic and healing salve, if you'll stay right here," Madame Pomfrey said quietly. Ginny just nodded, familiar with this routine. While she waited, she wrote a short note to Luna on her bracelet charm to let her friend know she was having an impromptu counseling session. She knew she didn't need to explain further for Luna to know what state she would be in tonight.
Madame Pomfrey came back, and started to rub the salve onto Ginny's cuts and the immediate area. It was a sticky paste, but Ginny knew from experience that it would soak in quickly and the magic in the salve would leave it dry to the touch at that point. "What brought on each of these?" the matron asked when she was finish.
Ginny sighed at that, but motioned at the three parallel cuts on her left arm. "Draco actually found me the night I did these. The news of the older sibling attacking the younger one made me remember Ron and I was trapped in a few flashbacks," she admitted. "I haven't cut since that night, though Draco and Luna both have been trying to help. I know I should have come to you sooner, but it's just been so erratic. The dreams that bring these on, I mean. I don't know when they are coming, and sometimes I wake up and just can't ground myself until I realize I've done this. Sometimes I've chosen to because it's easier, or I feel like I deserve a punishment. I know we've talked about how that's not right, but these dreams...they are disturbing, and I'm not always thinking right when I wake up," Ginny finished without going into much detail about the dreams. She figured the older witch would ask if she felt it necessary.
Madame Pomfrey looked over her charge, her trainee, and her friend carefully. She saw the young woman spoke the truth, but that didn't make it easier. "Have you been using your other coping mechanisms? Do you need help with some meditation to try to keep the dreams at bay?" she asked, slipping into Mind Healer mode, a role she had played for Ginny ever since she was released from Tom's diary.
"I've tried that some, with Luna, but these dreams. Well. You remember how I told you Tom had been in my dreams the summer after my first year?" Ginny paused, and only continued when the healer gave her an affirmative. "I'm having those dreams again, except some of them are actually predicting current or very-near-future events. I don't know when they will come, only that they always relate directly to something Tom is feeling strongly about," she finally admitted.
The healer paused at that, thinking everything through. She knew, as well as Ginny already knew, that Dreamless Sleep couldn't be given more than a few nights in a row before requiring a set amount of time off the potion. "If you can, I'd like you to come to me after a dream, no matter what state you're in. If you need time to calm down first so you can make it safely, do that, but I'd like to see you no matter the time of night. If we can work through the dream then, perhaps we can figure out the pattern and the connection. You know I'm always here for you, Ginny," Poppy reminded the young woman by using her given name. It wasn't a line she crossed with any but the most promising trainees and those who had become like the family she had lost.
"Yes, Poppy. I try to talk to Draco or Luna, but I know they aren't trained Mind Healers," she said. "I've been a bit ashamed. And at first, Ron was still in the castle and I was afraid he would find out I was visiting you again and we'd start second year all over again," Ginny admitted in a small voice. She may be 16, but sometimes she felt like that lonely, lost 12 year old.
"If we need to find a more secret way for you to visit, we can work that out, but I'd like you to come. With all the fear this year, I've had many more students coming for calming draughts and the like, as I'm sure you've noticed from the younger years you accompany here. There's nothing to be ashamed of," Poppy reminded her with a warm smile. She came to Ginny's side and gave her a half-hug. "Why don't you get to your common room? I'm certain the Headmistress will be seeing you tomorrow, especially as I'll be reporting this as an attack. You'll want to be rested for that. Hopefully Tom will leave you alone tonight, but if not, come straight back here," she relayed to the young woman before releasing her.
Ginny grimaced a bit at the thought of meeting with the Headmistress, but knew the healer was correct, and left with a small smile after squeezing one of Draco's hands in comfort. "Pleasant dreams, Draco," she commented, even knowing he wouldn't dream with the potion. She only wished he could say something to keep her dreams sweet.