Chapter 6
By Crystal Snowflakes
Author's Notes: I'm well aware about the history of Takagi Tokio, but in this story, her father isn't someone important from Japan. Her father was a doctor until he passed away.
I had half a mind to make Kenshin yell 'oro!' when he found out Tomoe was pregnant. Quite unfortunate for me, this is more of a serious fic than whatnot :( Oh well. Maybe in my next KT :) And yes, I am planning another KT, which will be uploaded, when two out of my three RK fics are completed.
Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and not to Crystal Snowflakes :(
"...A child?" I questioned, finding myself slightly disbelieving of the news. "Takagi-san... I think you've made a mistake..."
The woman cut her off, "Utter and complete nonsense!" She exclaimed, "I could never make a mistake on something like this, Tomoe-san. My husband was the best doctor here, and I studied the work he did!"
"...I don't mean to offend you..." I said, afraid that I had insulted the lady.
Inoue-san laughed softly, "Oh Akemi-chan!" She said softly, "She's just in denial... I remember when I first found out about my child, I was so happy, yet afraid at the same time..."
Takagi-san nodded in agreement, "That's true... When I first had my child, I was so afraid to tell my husband!" She giggled childishly, "Thinking about that makes me feel young again! I almost feel like I'm twenty all over again..."
I blinked in confusion as I looked at Takagi-san. How old was she exactly? She looked no older than twenty-five... But...
"Maa, maa, Tomoe-san. I'm thirty-eight, just to let you know... Why, my daughter is even a few years older than you!"
Thirty-eight? "...You look..." I said hesitantly.
"Younger than I am." Takagi-san nodded, "Many people have told me that." She sighed wistfully, "It's such a shame she isn't married to anyone yet... I still can't understand why though, she isn't awful looking..."
Inoue-san nodded, "Beautiful one," She murmured, "Tokio-chan is such a beauty."
"Tokio-chan?" I asked.
Takagi-san nodded, "She's my beautiful daughter... She was taken to Kyoto at an early age to learn Kenjutsu... She was always quiet and proper, even when young, but she had an evil streak in her." Her eyes glowed with pride as she spoke about her daughter, and I wonder if I would ever be so proud of my child... And I wondered if my mother would be proud of where I am, at this very moment... "As she grew older, we saw that she was always restless, so at the age of six, we sent her over to my husband's brother, who owned a dojo by mastering his school. His Shisho died a little later, and he inherited it. Tokio visited once in a while still, but she quit her uncle's school after mastering it, and began learning other fighting styles."
"Don't you worry about her?" I asked again.
"I do, but there's not much I can do... I do not agree with a lady being trained so much in the arts of killing, but I am proud of her..."
"Ne, Takagi-san... Is it difficult... Being a mother?" My face blushing slightly from the question. "I mean, how do we know what the child will like and not like?"
The women laughed.
"No!" Inoue-san said cheerfully, "Well, they are a pain at times, but once you have one, I will promise you. It's all instincts. And I'm sure you've played with young children before... If you can take care of Naoko-chan and Kichiro-kun so well, I'm sure you'll be a fine mother."
I blushed more, if that was even physically possible. "Well... Kenshin usually takes care of the children..."
"Well, all the better for you, my dear." Takagi-san said, "Your husband can take care of your son and all you have to do is relax!"
"Well... I'd feel slightly guilty..." I said quietly.
Between the three of us, we talked about raising children... Takagi-san and Inoue-san had started telling tales of the things their children had done... Most were humorous stories while others were adorable to hear about...
Soon enough, the sun was setting and I was wondering why Kenshin and the children hadn't arrived yet... If it hadn't been Inoue-san exclaiming about the sunset and the gently fluttering snow, I wouldn't have known what time it was. I was having so much entertainment from the two ladies that I had completely forgotten about time.
I was starting to get worried, but both Inoue-san and Takagi-san had reassured me that Kenshin would be able to take care of himself and the children. Before I knew it, I was, once again, dragged into another amusing conversation, this time, with stories of their husbands...
A knocking at the door made the three of us look at the door.
Slowly, Inoue-san stood up and walked over to the door as I followed her quietly. As she opened the door, three children and a redhead was at the door grinning, all four of their heads covered with a thin layer of snow...
Kichiro-kun was piggyback riding on Kenshin, his eyes closed in slumber.
"Okaasan! Takagi-san!" Naoko-chan giggled as she hugged her mother, then ran around the house, her arms held out.
"Inoue-san, Takagi-san." Toku-kun said quietly, yawning.
"Ah, Kenshin... I was wondering how much longer you were going to be out there... Tomoe-chan was getting worried."
Kenshin smiled apologetically, "Ah... Gomen nasai, Inoue-san... It seems like we lost track of time." He looked at me, "How are you feeling, Tomoe?"
I flushed slightly when I remembered what was wrong with me, "I'm fine, anata." I replied softly.
Inoue-san gave a short laughter.
"Well... I guess we better get going." Kenshin said as he looked down at Toku-kun, "I still have to bring him back to Hisashi-san."
Inoue-san nodded, "Well, before you go... I'd like you to meet my friend, Takagi Akemi." She shouted softly and I wondered briefly how you could shout and sound soft at the same time, "Akemi-chan! Tomoe-chan's husband is here!"
Takagi-san appeared half a second later, smiling. "Ah, Himura-san." She bowed politely, "Tomoe-chan has been talking about you today."
Kenshin raised his eyebrow amusedly, "Really now?"
I blushed softly.
Both women laughed again, at my expense.
"Ahh... It reminds me when I was still young..." Takagi-san said, wistful once again.
"Anyways, you should go." Inoue-san approached Kenshin and he gently let Kichiro-kun into the arms of Inoue-san. "It's going to start snowing soon, and I wouldn't want you to get stuck in the cold weather..."
Kenshin and I nodded, "Hai. Arigatou, Inoue-san, Takagi-san."
Takagi-san smiled, "Ne, Tomoe-chan. Take care of yourself, all right? If you need anything, just tell me. I'm at Kiyoko-chan's all the time... Don't be too embarrassed." She gave a sly look.
"I will. Arigatou."
Kenshin lifted Toku-kun up to carry on his back. "Are you tired, Toku-kun?"
The child yawned again, "No..."
We laughed softly as we walked towards his house. "So what was wrong with you, Tomoe?" Kenshin asked, his voice filled with concern.
I blushed again, "Ah... Nothing, really... I was just... exhausted. It was much better after I rested at Inoue-san's place."
"Is that so?" He asked as he gave me a look, clearly letting me know he didn't believe me.
October 8th, 1864
...This child... How do I tell him? Will he love it, or will he hate it?
I wonder how the child of the infamous Hitokiri Battousai will be...
...Will he be just as kind and as passionate as his father? Will he just be a normal child? Will the world allow him to grow up like a ordinary boy, or will he be pointed out on the streets?
Perhaps, only time can tell...
-Tomoe
I woke up to find my husband's warm and comfortable body missing from my side, but smelled the wonderful aroma in the air...
"Are you up, Tomoe?" I heard a voice coming from the kitchen.
I stood up and tightened the yukata around myself, trying to keep the cold out. "Hai, anata." I said quietly as I stood behind him and watched him make breakfast. "How did you know?"
He gave a quick smile, "I can sense your presence."
"I see..." He continued attacking the breakfast, but I cleared my throat softly, making sure I caught his attention. "Kenshin... There's... There's something we have to talk about."
His eyes darkened slightly. From fear or anger, I could not know. "We can talk now." He said curtly.
I shook my head, "Let's finish the breakfast, and we can talk about it."
He nodded.
Not to my surprise, breakfast was eaten in an uncomfortable tension... I, myself, was too nervous to say anything, while Kenshin, on the other side, seemed like he had, once again, slipped his emotionless mask on. Although his eyes had darkened considerably since our very short conversation in the kitchen this morning and I could see him brooding, wondering what was wrong...
...Wait.
He stood up abruptly, "I'll clean the dishes."
...You can't be...
He stacked them up, not quite in the orderly fashion it usually was.
...You can't be thinking that I think there's something wrong with you, right?
"Anata..." I said quietly.
But, anata... You have such low self-esteem that it's perhaps possible...
"It's not you. Please don't be like this..." I whispered, "It's not you... Onegai... Come over here and sit down. I really..." I felt a overwhelming sadness, seeing him in such a terrible mood after I had told him that I wanted to talk to him...
Were you afraid that I would want to leave you, after I had promised you I would stay for you and wait for your return?
He didn't budge from his position as he looked at me, impassive.
I felt my eyes fill up with tears, "...Onegai."
You've gone through so much... I would never leave you... I can't bear the thought.
Slowly, he kneeled down in front of me as he wiped the tears I never knew rolled out. "What is it, Tomoe?"
I took his hand, "Gomen nasai, anata. I never meant to make you feel sad... I'm sorry I didn't make it clear this morning..."
"...Clear?"
I nodded, "I wanted to talk to you... It wasn't because I changed my mind about staying with you."
His frame seemed more relaxed immediately. His eyes softened and I felt his hold on my hand tighten, "What do you need to talk about then? You seem nervous, scared, even."
I gave him a small smile, "That's because I am, anata."
"Scared? What's wrong then?" His voice had changed. "Is someone hurting you then?" His eyes darkened once again.
"Iie!" I shook my head, "Will you stop jumping to conclusions, anata? You aren't making this any easier for me."
He blinked comically, "...Sumanai."
I looked down at our hands, clutched together...
Will it last forever, or will one of us die before this war is over? Can I keep the revenge away from him forever? Will I want to? He is my husband... Should we not trust each other, and tell the other all our secrets...?
"...Remember how I was at Inoue-san's yesterday, and her friend was over?" I asked, not really expecting an answer, "Takagi-san... her late husband was a doctor, but she learned quite a few things from her husband... Yesterday, when I stayed over at Inoue-san's place, she found that—"
"Are you sick?" Kenshin asked, uneasily.
I gave him a small glance, one that was enough to shut the Hitokiri Battousai up. "She found out... I'm... I'm pregnant."
He seemed normal for a mere second before his eyes widened in shock. "...And... And that child... is mine?"
I gave him a small nod.
"I'm... going to be a... a father...?" He asked, quite disbelieving of himself.
"Hai anata..." I was afraid that he would hate the idea, but I should have known better... He loved children... And he was such a sweetheart with them. Why would he not love a child of his own? Why not create life, instead of destroying it?
I felt my eyes widen as well and a small gasp escape my lips as I felt arms around me. I felt his head on my shoulder as he embraced me. A small blush bloomed on my face as I tried to hug him back, and managed, but in an awkward way.
"Tomoe..."
"Hai?"
He tightened his hold on me, "Arigatou... For everything you have ever done for me."
...And thank you for letting me find happiness once again, anata. I never thought it was possible.
"What would you like to name the child... If it was a boy, or girl?" Kenshin asked, his hands around my waist as I leaned against him, watching the stars twinkle brightly in the heavens.
They're really beautiful tonight...
I smiled softly to myself, "I'd like a boy first... Then he'd look like a replica of his father... Kenji. Himura Kenji."
"Why boy first?" He asked.
I felt his hand play with my untied hair, "Because... Then he would be able to protect the little sister, if ever it had a sibling..."
I always wanted someone older to protect me from the cruelty of the world... Instead, both Enishi and I have been tainted by the brutal truth... Perhaps... Toshiko-chan would have a much better life than either of us...
"To protect her..." He muttered, "Just like I protect you."
I nodded, "Hai." Shyly, I gave him a kiss on his cheek, "Aishiteru... anata."
He stiffened for a mere second before he relaxed again, "Aishiteru Tomoe... Zutto."
We sat by the cold for a few more minutes before we both decided it was time to sleep. We slid into the futon and he wrapped his arms around me. It was so comfortable, lying there, my head on his chest... I heard every single one of his heartbeats, I felt every single breath...
...And for now, I was content.
I shut my eyes lazily as I felt the sunlight in my eyes once again. It was morning. And I can, once again, the smell of breakfast is floating in the air, leading me towards the kitchen. I had planned to stand up and leave my futon, when, the second my skin felt the air, I snuggled back into the warm blankets.
His laugh approached and I scowled childishly.
"Cold, koishii?" He asked, amused as he kneeled down beside me, and leaned over to gave me a quick, tender peck on the lips.
I nodded, "Hai."
He chuckled, "Well, you should sleep in more. You're pregnant, koishii. You've been a bad girl these few weeks." He scolded gently. "Takagi-san told me to make sure that you have enough sleep."
"Anata... I've had over ten hours of sleep. I think I've had enough. Although... it is quite cold in here."
He nodded as he grabbed the warm winter yukata he had bought for me three weeks ago, right after he had found out I was pregnant. I sat up as he draped it around my shoulders, "Stay in bed for a while. I'll get the fire going."
Shaking my head, I said, "I'll do that. Just finish breakfast..."
"Koishii... Stay in bed." He sighed, perhaps slightly annoyed at my stubbornness, "Onegai? I don't want you or the child harmed."
I pouted slightly, but allowed him to finish the breakfast and get the fire going.
He returned five minutes later, "Breakfast is done... And I feel the place warming up already."
A nod. "Hai. Arigatou."
He held his hand towards me, helping me up.
I swatted it away, "Anata!" I admonished lightly, "For the last time, I am not completely helpless!"
"I just want to help, koishii... You know how worried I am."
Sighing softly, I allowed myself to agree with him. My dear husband, for the past few weeks, have been doing everything in the house, only leaving me to do the little things, such as making dinner, but even those, he was there to watch and supervise me... He had done all the laundry, dishes...
"You're such a worrywart." I muttered.
He gave a warm grin, "Does that mean you'll let me help?"
"It means you're a worrywart."
He bent down to kiss me, "Well, get up then... The children will be here in a little while."
I nodded as I took his hand and he helped me up gently.
"Oh, and before I forget to tell you, it snowed last night, which is why it's so cold... I'll be walking the children home tonight, and I want to see the sick patients one last time..."
"I'll come with you."
He shook his head, "There's a lot of walking to do, and I don't want you to catch a cold."
"But I'm tired of staying inside the house..."
He kissed my head softly as I sat down in front of my breakfast, "If you behave well, I'll let you play with the children outside... But I want you to stay home safely tonight."
"Demo..."
"Onegai, koishii? No arguing please?"
I nodded resignedly.
I sat on the porch as I laughed merrily, watching Kenshin raise his hands defensively, then hit in the stomach by a snowball. Toku-kun, Kichiro-kun and Masa-kun were chucking snowballs at my poor husband while the two girls, Naoko-chan and Miyoko-chan were building a snowman.
"Tomoe-san..." Naoko-chan said softly, "I heard from Okaasan and Takagi-san that Tomoe-san was pregnant... Is that true?"
I nodded softly, "Hai."
She gave a smile, "Otousan told me to say congratulations to you... And he said he was sorry to think that you and Kenshin were bad people..."
"It's all right." I reassured the beautiful girl as I gave her a smile, "He has reasons not to trust us."
Miyoko-chan clapped her hands together as she added the arms made of sticks, "So, Tomoe-san, are you thinking of having a boy or a girl?"
Naoko-chan rolled her eyes, "Of course Tomoe-san wants a girl!"
"...Actually..." I said gently, "I want a boy."
"...Why?" She asked.
I smiled at her as I patted her head, "A boy first... Then a girl. Then the boy can protect his little sister..."
"Kind of like the way I protect Kichiro?" She asked quietly.
I nodded, "Hai."
She nodded, "I think I like that idea too... What are you going to name him then?"
Miyoko-chan jumped up in delight, "Oooh... Have you thought of a name yet, Tomoe-san?"
I nodded, "Kenji..."
"Kenji-kun..." They tested the name on their lips. Naoko-chan gave a satisfactory nod, "I like that."
Kenshin and the children had left when the sun had begun setting... I was still on the porch now, but Kenshin had made sure I was dressed warmly before he left. He had been gone for quite a long time. I watched as the moon illuminated the sheets of white fluff and for a few moments, I studied the snowman that Naoko-chan and Miyoko-chan had built... The five children, along with Kenshin, had later built a much bigger one...
Although I must say, Kenshin had done most of the work.
Then my eyes drifted towards the stars... And not for the first time that night.
If the stars are beautiful to you, it means something. It means that you are happy, that you are contented and satisfied about your life. If the stars don't look particularly lovely at all, then it is not the problem of the stars, but yours...
...Life is short, and we should not spend our time unsatisfied about our life. The stars are always the same, never changing. Whether they are pretty or not has nothing to do with them, it has to do with you and your thoughts...
"Okaasan... Am I dishonoring the Yukishiro family, by marrying the enemy? Would Otousan hate me for this? Would Toshiko-chan? And would Kiyosato-san? What about you, Okaasan? I really wish you were here... You were always so intelligent and with so much advice... But then again, all mothers seem like that... Inoue-san... Takagi-san... Even Toku-kun's father..."
I continued watching the gently falling snow as I wished that Kenshin was right beside me, guarding me, embracing me, caring for me... I wish that he was here, taking the loneliness away...
For a while, I sat there, reminiscing the moments I had shared with Kenshin, whether it was under the rain of blood, or the crying heavens, or perhaps the fluttering snow... I felt my heart stop for a mere second when I saw a flash of red in the darkness. I smiled gently and when he was very close to me, I stood up slowly.
"Has anything happened while I was gone?" He asked.
I gave him a shake of my head, "No... I missed you very much though."
"As did I." He wrapped his arms around me while gently pulling me into his warmth. "Aishiteru, Tomoe." He kissed my forehead.
"Aishiteru, anata."
He grasped my hand tenderly, "Let's get you inside before you catch a cold."
I pushed away the urge to roll my eyes at the obvious worry he had for me. "Hai."
When I woke up, the sun wasn't shining in like it was usually, and there was no smell of breakfast. I looked at the clock. I had woken up two hours before I usually did. Feeling myself frown, I grabbed the warm yukata folded beside the futon and wrapped it around myself as I proceeded to stand up and walk around the house. He wasn't taking a bath, or making dinner... And he was certainly not sleeping. I could not find him anywhere in the house, and worried, I slid open the shoji.
New snow had coated the earth, covering the small footprints of the young children that had been here the previous day. Trees, too, had been coated in white flurry from head to toe and nothing was moving... Everything was calm and unmoving as the wind whispered with laughter every once in a while.
And it was then that I saw it. The fresh set footpath that had lead from our house... and into the forest.
I wondered briefly if Kenshin was out getting herbs for the medicine, but I quickly banished that thought after I realized my foolishness. It was cold out, and he was not going to visit his patients until winter passed... And the other thing was, the snow had covered everything... Now why in the world would he want to go in the forest so early in the morning?
I was more than half tempted to walk into the forest and investigate what was going on, but I was scared... What if he was simply taking a walk because he couldn't fall asleep and needed fresh air? What would he do if he found me missing when he returned? He would be horrified. And plus, if he found out that I got out of bed... He would most likely be very over-protective... Especially now that I have a child.
...But... What if he was hurt? What if...
I quickly brushed that thought away again, knowing I was being too paranoid for my own good. He was the feared Battousai... He would not be harmed so easily.
Brushing all my thoughts away and deciding that Kenshin would come back when he felt like it and that I would make him tell me where he went, I chose to make breakfast instead of going back to sleep again. I wasn't tired at all, due to all the sleeping Kenshin was making me do.
I began the miso soup after I had started steaming the rice, and when I had left the soup on the fire, I grabbed the fish that we had bought a few days ago at the market, and began grilling it. I had been so focused on breakfast that I had not heard the sliding of the shoji or his footsteps approaching the kitchen.
"You're up early today, koishii."
I gave him a look as I flipped the fish over, "I woke up to find you missing from the house... And instead of coming after you, because I knew you would get worried, I decided to begin with breakfast, and then question you about it later."
"...Question?" He asks.
I nodded, "You had me worried for a second there... I thought that you would have gotten hurt... That is, until I remembered that you could protect yourself quite well."
He gave me a weak grin, "Gomen... I didn't think I'd worry you that much."
"So how long have you been waking up early in the morning to leave without my notice?" I asked, giving him another glance.
I saw him wince slightly and I gave myself a triumphant smirk inwardly.
"...Well... I..."
"Well?" I asked, waiting for him as I took a few plates out and a couple of bowls. I scooped the miso soup into the bowls as I waited for his answer. "I'm still waiting, Kenshin."
This time, he flinched inwardly at how I had called him Kenshin. "I've been doing it for a long time... I just never wanted to let you know, and I figured you didn't care at all."
"Anata, you're my husband..." I stated quietly.
"I know... But I didn't want you to be scared."
"Scared?" I asked as I placed the food on a tray and began walking towards the table.
He sat down, "Yes. Scared... Because of the training, I'm adapted to waking up early in the morning and practicing Kenjutsu. And because I knew you didn't like violence, I tried to hide it away from you..."
"...Anata." I said quietly, "I'm not scared of you. Don't mistaken me." I took his hand gently and gave him a soft smile, "You shouldn't be scared of the one you love, and I'm not. You're right, I don't enjoy violence, and I hate this bloodshed, but it's necessary if we want peace... And right now... I want my child to live in a peaceful world without such violence..." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "...And I know you will do everything you can do to that for our child and for me. And no matter what happens, I will stay by your side and wait for you."
"We're husband and wife, anata. We shouldn't be hiding things from each other..."
...And I shouldn't be hiding the fact that I wanted to kill you...
He nodded, "You're right, Tomoe. Gomen. I should have told you earlier..."
"Anata? Would you mind if I watched you tomorrow morning, or perhaps the next time you decide to practice?"
"Iie... But... Are you sure you'll be all right? It's quite cold out."
I gave him another one of my frown, "I'm perfectly capable of staying out in the cold without getting sick, anata."
He told me he was only worried for my well being as he began his breakfast. Halfway through breakfast, I looked at my husband. "Anata? If we had a son... Would you want him to inherit your fighting school?"
"I... I really don't know." He replied, "But... Perhaps... There's still a long way to go. We'll see when we get to it... The war has just begun, and by the end of the war, it might still be too early for him to wield a sword..." He looked up at me, gave a grin, "And, if he turns out like me, he won't be able to train until a lot later... I was very much smaller than the children my age."
I laughed softly, "It's all right. You grew up handsomely, so it evens it out."
He, too, laughed. "And you grew up beautifully yourself, koishii."
November 3rd, 1864
I feel as if I'm a different person all together... Being treated like this by my husband... I feel as if I'm the luckiest woman in the world, yet it's such a curse. How do I tell him that I have once wanted to betray and kill him? How do I tell him that I had once hated him with all my being? How do I... I cannot, for I love him, more than I love anything in this world.
While I have shown him what happiness was, he has shown me as well.
Although it's only been five months that I have lived with him in such a peaceful place, I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without him, by my side, supporting me. It's quite strange...
I still cannot fathom how the man I was set out to kill ended up being the husband that I love... And once again, I wonder how okaasan would think of me. Would she agree with me and be happy for me, or would she be against my decision? And what of Kiyosato-san? And otousan? Would he be disgusted what I have chosen to do? I can only hope that when we see Enishi again, he will forgive me for being so cruel to him and that he will accept Kenshin... When Toshiko-chan grows up... Would she think badly of me as well?
These are questions that have been plaguing my mind, but cannot be answered at the moment. I just wish, that somewhere in the future, we will be the happy family that we cannot be at the moment.
Kenshin is back. He has just finished walking the children home once again and it is time I start dinner.
-Tomoe
Author's Notes: Another chapter done! The story is nearing the end of the Tsuioku Hen, and unlike 'Miracles Happen', the years following Tsuioku Hen will not be rushed. The chapters will continue to be around the same length, but some may be shorter (I will explain why later). I hope you will all continue to read this :)
The next chapter will have more development between Kenshin and Tomoe, and then, Iizuka will show up, to disrupt everything. Finally, all hell will break loose.
Wistful-Eyes: Pregnancy should be noticeable from the way the mother acts after one month :) If not, perhaps a little more than a month.
-Crystal Snowflakes
Monday, April 18, 2005