Hello everyone,

this chapter does a time jump from the last one and plays in the winter after the war.

Disclaimer: Really?

In September I return back to school at Hermione's request together with her, Ron and everyone else who couldn't complete their 7th year because of the war. McGonnagall, who is headmistress now, sets up a whole new dorm for what she calls the 8th year. The houses are mixed in the dorm because by far not everyone returned. Some didn't survive the war, others moved away or just simply don't want to finish school. But even then you can see the difference in the houses. While basically everyone from Gryffindor who made it through the war returned as well, Ravenclaw is about halfed and there are only a few Hufflepuffs. In our year that is. As for Slytherin. We don't have any in the 8th year. After Malfoy got imprisoned most of them feared coming back I guess.

All in all Hogwarts seems empty to me. Every year is smaller than usual, Slytherin especially. Everyone of the younger years treats me like some sort of god. It's annoying if I'm honest. Well, the snake house still doesn't. They are sneaking through the hallways these days, heads bowed and trying to draw as little attention to themselves as they can. The once so proud house is now forced to hide in the shadows. No matter when you go to the hospital wing these days you can always find some Slytherin there. So much for house unity. The other three houses are constantly attacking them. It's frustrating and in all honesty disgusting. I don't know how many times I tried to make clear that fighting is not going to help anyone.

And if I am honest I miss the fights I had with Malfoy. His retorts, no matter how insulting, and the flashing of his grey eyes. But he isn't at Hogwarts, rather he is rotting in Azkaban for crimes he didn't commit. I haven't given up on getting him out of the prison, but I haven't gotten any further. Neither is there any progress on the matter of Spy A. I have looked through any material the Order had but couldn't find anything. Also school caught up with me. Only because Snape is not here anymore doesn't make it any easier. With schoolwork, Quidditch and friends there is little time to ponder over mysterious men. I am already getting teased about having some unknown girlfriend (or boyfriend according to Seamus).

Ginny isn't very receptive about such rumours. Despite the fact that we are not together. But she seems to have problems understanding that. No matter how many times I told her that we aren't, she just tries again. And I do not appreciate it when I am buried in some Order stuff to find out something about Spy A and she suddenly drapes herself over my lap. In these moments I am so glad that we don't live in the Gryffindor tower anymore and have our own common room. And my single room. Still her favourite hobby nowadays seems to be following me around. How annoying.

"Harry! There you are!" And speak of the devil…

"What is it, Ginny?" I sigh and turn around.

I cringe when she latches onto my arm. Even after five months in school which I spent trying to get away from her, she still hasn't caught on to the fact that I don't want anything from her. With a scowl I pry her away from myself again. She giggles.

"Why are you so grumpy? I thought you would be happy to see me," she smiles, trying to press herself against my body.

"Ginny," I groan, taking a step away, "I have told you before that I am not in the mood for your games."

She pouts, "These are no games. I love you."

And there goes the problem. Because I don't love her. At least not in the way she wants it. She is like a sister to me and even Ron has accepted that by now. I know it felt like I loved her in 6th year, but back then it was probably just the most straightforward way, so I loved her. But now that I am free of Voldemort and for the first time can live just like I want, I feel only like a sister for her. If she would just comprehend that…

"And I told you I don't," I grumble, absolutely not in the mood right now, "Leave me alone, Ginny."

Her lip trembles, "But you love me too. You said so."

"That was two years ago, Ginny. I changed a lot. The war changed everyone. You are like a sister to me, Gin. I said that before. A sister not a lover," I explain exasperatedly.

"But," she sniffles, "But we wanted to marry one day and…"

"You!" I yell, my annoyance finally reaching the boiling point, "You wanted to marry. I never said anything like that! It's true I loved you during 6th year, but I don't anymore. Get that into your head. You are a sister to me not more! And we are not coming back together! So stop following me around."

"But I…" tears are running down her cheeks and my anger evaporates again.

I sigh, "Ginny, I am sorry. But I don't feel for you that way. And it's not going to change. For sure not if you keep pushing yourself on me," I softly touch her shoulder, "Let me go. Find someone who loves you back as much as you deserve, Ginny."

"But I thought…" she sniffles, then scowls, "There is someone else, isn't there?"

"What?" her question catches me completely off guard.

"You are in love with someone else, aren't you?" she repeats angrily.

"No," I stumble, "There is no one."

She only hisses, "I can see it in your eyes. When you pour over those mysterious papers no one but Hermione and Ron are allowed to see. You are in love with her, aren't you? Or is it a he, Harry? Is that why you never seemed to react much to me," she sneers.

When I don't answer her, she only gives a wet snort and turns around, stomping down the corridor away from me. I am left there standing shocked. I look like I am in love while I am reading the reports of Spy A? Such a bullshit! How can you be in love with a person you know nothing but the gender of? And where does she get the idea that I'm gay. Granted I have long suspected that I am bisexual. My obsession with Malfoy is way too strong. Only when a gush of cold air rips me out of my musings, do I remember my original destination. I was on my way to McGonagall's office to floo over to Andromeda's house and visit Teddy.

Still grumbling I finally storm into the round room. The headmistress only throws me a questioning look, one eyebrow raised and motions to the fire place. Ignoring her, I move in front of it, taking some powder. I throw it in the fire, yell the address and step through. On the other side I stumble out. I still hate floo. Only to hear laughter and see Andromeda standing in the doorway.

"Hello Harry. Great that you are here," she walks over and embraces me.

I smile, "I am always glad to come. I enjoy spending time with Teddy."

"He misses you too," she gives a sad smile back as we step apart again.

Ten minutes later we are sitting on the sofa with tea in front of us and Teddy cuddled into my chest.

"So how are things at school?" she asks, "You seem to be a bit unsettled by something."

I sigh, letting my eyes drop down to the sleeping infant on my chest, "Just before I came here, I was ambushed by Ginny. I finally exploded and told her that I don't love her that way. Rather forceful if you want to see it that way. I think she finally understood. But…"

"But?" she urges.

"Well, you remember how I asked you about that Spy A. And Ginny said I look like I am in love when I think about whoever this is. But I don't know him at all. And it's a guy!" I grumble, burying my face in Teddy's soft hair (currently black to fit my own locks).

She chuckles, "Are you against being with another man?"

"No, no," I hurriedly move to correct her, "That's not it. I have just never thought about it. I mean I can appreciate it when a guy looks attractive and I have never found that weird. But actually being with another man…"

"Hm, I guess it's a big step," she agrees, "But maybe it would be the right thing for you? From your stories I always had the impression that you were never completely happy with your girlfriends."

"Hm," I mumble, "I don't know. I always felt that they somehow loved me for the fact that I am Harry Potter, the wizarding world's saviour. At least partly. I don't want that. I want someone who sees me as Harry and only Harry."

Smiling, she pets my hand, "And is there someone like that? You seem pretty sure about it."

Surprised I look at her for a moment. Then the words register in my brain and I burry my face back in Teddy's hair as light blond hair and silver eyes flash through my mind again. I groan. Andromeda laughs softly.

"So you have someone like that in mind," I only groan again, which gets another giggle from her, "Let me guess it's a male."

I nod embarrassed, she only laughs again and stands up, "Well then. Maybe you should just try. And I could have something that would perhaps help you. But it might shock you too."

"What do you mean?" I ask as I lift my head back up, cheeks burning red at the thought of Malfoy as my lover.

She only waves me off and bustles away into the back rooms. A few minutes later she comes back, a small leather-bound book in hand. Her face holds a sad smile, but she comes over eagerly nonetheless. Grinning she plugs the sleeping baby from my arms and pushes the book at me. Staring at it curiously, I turn it in my hands.

"What's this?"

She smiles sadly, "Remus' diary from his 6th year in Hogwarts."

I frown even more deeply, "Why would you give that to me?"

She grins mischievously, chasing away most of the sadness in her face, "Because you are not the only one who has been more than experimenting with both genders."

I choke on my own breath while she chuckles again, "Look at page 67."

Hurriedly I flip to the aforementioned page. What I see there causes my eyes to widen. The entry of the 8th November speaks of Lupin doing more than just kissing. And not with a girl. No, with my godfather Sirius. I cough when the part gets a bit too explicit, hearing a giggle from the woman again. Sweeping my eyes over the next entries up until their last year, I find out that it was more than just a bit of fooling around. They were in an actual relationship for some years. Why did no one ever tell me that? I groan and burry my face in my hands up until something catches my eyes.

That handwriting! It's about the same as the second one in the reports. Especially the peculiar way to do the 'g'. It was Lupin who continued the reports of Spy A after Dumbledore's death. He must know who it is as well. Yeah, apart from the fact that I can't ask him either. All three persons who I am sure knew Spy A's identity are dead. Dumbledore, Remus and Snape. I can only hope Andromeda knows something.

So I shoot up at her, "Did you know Remus worked with that spy?"

"What?" she looks back at me in surprise, not the response she expected to the diary, "That one you talked about? Not that I know of. Why do you ask?"

"Because it's his handwriting on the reports," I bore, "Did he never say anything?"

"No, he never," she falls silent for some moments, "Now that you talk about it. He sometimes disappeared and no one knew where he were. Later on Tonks seemed to be aware of it as well, but he never said anything about it to me. I'm sorry."

I deflate again, "Nothing at all?"

"No, I…" she starts, then frowns, "Wait a moment."

I stare at her surprised as she dumps Teddy back in my arms who squeals in delight. Then she hurries off somewhere upstairs again. My attention is diverted back to the baby in my arms as he giggles and tugs at my hair. I smile, his presence letting me forget my troubles for the moment. I hear his grandmother rummage around above us. After about five minutes later she comes back, nothing but a small scrap of paper in her hand. She sits next to me again.

"Unfortunately I don't know anything. But this came through the fireplace one day. It had an urgency marking on it and when I showed it to Remus he cursed and flooed away immediately. When he came back he told me to destroy it but at the time I thought I had misplaced it so it survived until now," she explains hurriedly, handing me the paper and taking Teddy back into her arms, "I think that could perhaps be useful to you."

With interest I turn the scrap around. I nod eagerly when I read through the words on it.

Urgent message, Wolf!

Just got the notice from Xenophilius Lovegood that Harry Potter is with him. Two men have gone over to check on it. Tell that idiot to get out of there! It's so close to the Burrow the whole area is being watched. And Lovegood has ratted him out to get his daughter back. Remind that blockhead that he has to think before he acts.

A

My heart is beating faster at the new clue. There is no hint to his identity, but I can't help but hear a very familiar voice speaking out of this letter. Words filled with insults, something no one else would really dare towards me. I feel like I have seen the handwriting before as well. Again platinum blond hair flits through my mind. The suspicion is getting stronger, but I have no way to proof that Malfoy is indeed Spy A.

And getting proof is an entirely difficult matter. Those who could tell me are dead. I asked Snape's as well as Dumbledore's portrait but I got the same answer from both of them. 'I am only a portrait, I don't know everything the original knew.' Tilly won't tell me anything either. The only possibility would be to take memories forcefully but that's against the law and I would never do anything like that. Also to get into the Manor would involve weeks of waiting again to get the permission. It would be easier to talk to Malfoy directly. But to get permission to speak with him in his cell in Azkaban is even more difficult and I don't think even Luna has managed to get through yet. Not that I think he would just tell me.

I groan. No matter the good intentions this is so difficult.

That's it for today. Thanks for reading.

A bit of shounen-ai here.

Hope you liked it. Please review and see you next chapter.