Disclaimer: The views presented in this chapter regarding religion, gay marriage (which wasn't legal at the time, btw), etc. are not necessarily the views of the author. They are the views of fictional characters, and should be seen as such. Please do not be offended or use the review box as a soapbox. If characters seem OOC... I know. It's just a story. I'll pass out cookies afterward, if it helps.

Shout-out: I apparently have three readers in Norway! Very cool.

Seven: Take Me To Church

"I made some plans for tomorrow," I told Ray while I made hot water for tea. "I hope you don't mind."

"What kind of plans?" Ray asked.

"Well, it's Sunday tomorrow... I met a rector this evening, and I told him we'd try to attend his service."

"Oh... not beating around the bush, are you?"

"This is important."

"Yeah. Okay. Not early, though, right?"

I shook my head. "We should arrive a little before ten-thirty."

"Okay, that's not bad."

"After the service, we'll talk with the Rector, Father Joseph. He said we can join him and his wife for lunch. Then I need to see the acting inspector at the consulate. Then I'm meeting Ray for dinner. You're welcome to come if you want."

"So, um... what's Father Joseph like?"

"An excellent listener. I told him a good deal about us, and he's eager to meet you and talk with both of us."

Misgivings still much in evidence, Ray said, "Well... I don't think I'll go with you tomorrow night. You and Ray probably have a lot to catch up on."

"Would you be opposed to seeing him?"

"No... but you don't need that kind of tension right now. You should be able to relax."

I took the whistling kettle from the stove and started two mugs of tea brewing. "What will you do while I'm gone?"

"Oh, I'll probably let mom come over and cook for me. She tried to stuff me tonight. She seems to think I'm thin because I'm starving."

"She is a dear."

"Yeah... I just wonder what she and dad will think if... if we decide to be a full-fledged couple."

I reached over the bar to pat his shoulder. "One bridge at a time, eh?"

"Mhm."

When we finished our tea, we brushed our teeth and retired to Ray's bedroom, leaving Dief to sleep on his sofa. The bed was only a double, but plenty big enough to hold us both, accustomed as we had become to close quarters.

"So," Ray said, nestling against me, "did Jack ever go back up the beanstalk after Victor?"

"Of course, he did," I said. "He was a man of his word. However, he packed a bag of useful items before making his second climb. When he was several hundred feet up, he was surprised to meet yet another young man..."

"In the beanstalk?"

"Yes. He was taking a rest from climbing. 'Who are you?' Jack asked in surprise. 'This is my beanstalk.'"

"Seriously," said Ray. "The nerve of some people climbing other people's beanstalks."

"Are you going to keep interrupting?"

"Sorry."

The truth was, I was beginning to enjoy Ray's interruptions, and they did keep me aware that he was still awake and listening. "The young man introduced himself as Kristoff. 'I don't intend to steal your beans,' he said. 'I merely wished to climb the stalk. You see, I wish to be an Adventurer For Hire.' Jack exclaimed, 'What a coincidence! I am an Adventurer For Hire, myself. How would you like to be my apprentice?' Kristoff agreed, and the two of them continued the climb together. As they climbed, Jack told Kristoff all about the giant and the young man he intended to rescue."

"He's awfully trusting of this guy he just met."

"Adventurers For Hire have no fear of betrayal," I declared.

Ray began running his fingers through my hair as I continued the story. By the time I got Jack and Kristoff to the bird cage, I was quite sleepy, myself, lulled by his touch.

"I think I'm too sleepy to form plot points at the moment," I said.

He kissed my cheek. "Okay. Let's go to sleep." He put his arm around me, inching closer, careful not to lie on my arm this time. "I love you, Fraser."

"And I you, Ray." I kissed his lips. "Good night."

The next morning, I slipped out of Ray's room and went to the kitchen. I was surprised to find the refrigerator decently well-stocked. I realized that Ray's mother was probably responsible for this. His parents had had ample warning that we were returning soon.

I set about making us omelets for breakfast and also got the coffeemaker going.

"Oh, wow," Ray said when he came out to join me, "did you go buy food?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No; I think your mother must have done that. It was all here."

"Mom... yeah, that's like her." He came up behind me and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for cooking."

"Not at all. I'm rather fond of it."

We enjoyed our breakfast together before taking quick showers and preparing to attend church.

My uniform was not pressed to my liking, but I decided it would do.

When Ray emerged from his room in a suit and tie, he asked me, "Is this okay? I haven't worn it in forever..."

"That's fine," I told him. "Let me just redo that tie for you."

He looked down at it. The smaller end of the tie was just showing. "Damn it, I thought I made it short enough..."

I moved behind him and undid his simple overhand knot. "When you have extra length to work with, sometimes a double Windsor is in order." I had to lean over his shoulder to see properly, and while I was at it, I pressed my face against his. "There we are."

He turned to meet me in a brief kiss. "That's great. I could never get the hang of many knots."

"I can teach it to you if you like. Not now, though, or we'll be late."

He looked down at his jacket. "I've got a few wrinkles... but my other one was worse."

"It will be fine. After all, no one is more forgiving than God."

"If you say so."

It had been too long since I attended a church service, though for Ray it had been much longer. He told me he hadn't been since his parents moved to Arizona, long before I met him. He fairly hid behind me, letting me make all the introductions. When I quietly questioned his sudden shyness, he said only that so many "nice people" in one place made him nervous. I suspected he was wondering if this congregation would turn out to be like the one we had encountered before, which had been following a dishonest leader.

After a few songs, a choir number and prayer, Father Joseph gave a sermon on stewardship of God's gifts. I found the message inspiring, but I had to nudge Ray a couple of times to keep him from falling asleep.

When the final amen had been pronounced, Ray and I lingered while the parishioners made their way out of the church. Then I introduced Father Joseph to Ray.

"I'm very glad to meet you," the rector told Ray, offering him his hand.

Ray shook Father Joseph's hand. "Thanks... Fraser told me about you."

"Good things, I hope. If you'll follow me; my wife Linda is making lunch for us. Roast chicken, I believe."

"I'm sure it will be delightful," I said.

Ray seemed a little less nervous now, and fortunately less sleepy.

Once he had made brief introductions between Ray and his wife, Father Joseph took us into his living room where we sat on his sofa. He pulled an armchair close to it so we could talk confidentially.

"Ray," Father Joseph said, "Benton tells me that the two of you have sort of a unique situation."

"You could say that," Ray answered.

I took his hand. "We want to do right by each other, but I would also like to do the right thing in the eyes of God. We're hoping you can help us find the best way to achieve both."

"You are not a believer?" he asked Ray.

"I... I used to believe," Ray said. "But I kind of grew out of it. I've got nothing against religion... and it's important to Fraser, so I want to make sure he feels... you know, comfortable with everything."

"Because you love him."

"Yeah." Ray looked down.

"Please, don't be afraid of shocking me. I've heard some extreme confessions in my time. Love between two men isn't very high on the list."

Ray smiled, some of his unease seeming to ebb away.

"Now," the rector went on, "I can tell you right now that loving each other isn't wrong. There's no need to feel guilty over that."

I squeezed Ray's hand to encourage him. So far, my own thoughts on the matter were being backed up.

"Ray, you've been married, correct?"

"Yeah," Ray answered. "I was for a long time. But... I don't know. Something wasn't right. It took us years to see it."

"Now that you can look back on your marriage, would you say that it might have worked if you had made different choices?"

Ray frowned in thought, looking at the floor again for a while. Finally, he said, "No, I don't think it would have. I'm still not sure exactly what it was, but it wasn't a bad decision that did it. I think there was something wrong from the start."

I knew that was hard for him to say. I let go of his hand and put my arm around him.

"Benton," Father Joseph said, "have you been married, or had a long-term relationship before?"

"I haven't been married," I said. I didn't like the memories of Victoria that came flooding in. "I was in a relationship of sorts for a while, but... she had a darkness to her. She nearly pulled me into it. I found myself making rash decisions when I was with her." I shook my head. "It's really a mercy that she didn't stay with me."

"Just so I understand your situation, do you find yourself generally attracted to women, or more to men? Or to both equally?"

"On the whole, I would say I found only women attractive until very recently," I said.

"Me too," said Ray. "I mean, I can tell if a guy's good-looking... and I guess maybe I'd kind of admire it, but I wouldn't say I was attracted."

"And recently?" asked Father Joseph.

"Recently, I've found myself attracted to Ray," I said, feeling just a hint of heat creeping into my face.

"But not to other men?"

"No, not at all."

"And is it the same for you?" he asked Ray.

Ray nodded. "I feel like... like I didn't really notice him until I realized how much I loved him. And now, suddenly, he's really... um..." He began to blush as well.

Father Joseph gave him an indulgent smile. "All right, I understand. This doesn't seem to be an average case of homosexuality."

"No," I agreed. "It isn't that we don't want a conventional relationship, or that we're eager to flaunt sin, or even indifferent to God's laws... but we tried more traditional things and they didn't work. I think they weren't meant to work for us. And now I wonder... and I hope I'm not uttering blasphemy, but I wonder whether it was because we were meant to wait for each other."

He didn't seem upset by my words. "That, I can't tell you," he said. "What is meant for you, you will ultimately have to work out between the two of you and God. However, I can tell you what I think personally. It's my opinion that you have something unusual and special. You obviously want to do right, or you wouldn't have asked for guidance. I can't give you permission, though... the union of two men or two women is contrary to the example God gave us in making Eve for Adam. It is contrary to the model of Christ and the church. However... as you say, you've tried following that model and been unsuccessful."

"Whether or not God would approve our becoming a romantic couple," I said, "I do believe we were brought together by the hand of Providence. It was a very unusual set of circumstances which led to our meeting."

"That's true," said Ray. "If Fraser's old partner hadn't been a look-alike for a mob kingpin, if I hadn't been nearby and available, if my middle name didn't happen to be Raymond... I might not have gotten the call that eventually led me to my new precinct. My new partner."

"Your sermon made me feel as if remaining mere friends would be a waste of what we've been given," I added, again worrying slightly that a charge of blasphemy might be forthcoming.

Instead of reprimanding me, Father Joseph asked, "Has your relationship become physical?"

"Not very," I answered, willing myself not to blush any deeper. "When the question of faith came up, we agreed not to consummate it without seeking guidance first."

"And now that you've begun to feel attracted to one another, how much are you attracted to women?" Father Joseph asked, looking at Ray.

"It's weird, but it's kind of like how I saw men before," Ray said. "I know they're attractive, but I'm just not interested anymore."

"And you?"

"I'd have to say the same," I said. "I feel as if I'm admiring a beautiful dinner laid out, but I've already eaten. I'm satisfied with what I have."

Father Joseph nodded slowly. "I still can't openly condone your relationship for two reasons. First, because a specific case like this is not something the scripture is emphatically clear on. Whether or not God will make an exception for you is strictly between you and him. It's not mine to know. Second, because if I did, it might confuse my parishioners and members of the community. They couldn't begin to understand without hearing the details you've told me, and those details aren't any of their business. So, the best I can offer you in the way of advice is a compromise."

"Anything that keeps Fraser on the heavenly guest list," Ray muttered.

"I suggest that you take some time to truly search within yourselves. Try to determine whether you truly believe that this relationship will last a lifetime. Can you be faithful to one another regardless of what comes? Because I promise you, it won't be easy. You will face many obstacles, some in the form of friends, family and acquaintances that once loved and respected you—abandoning you. Of opportunities taken away. Of unfounded hatred. Are you willing to face all of that? Will you truly be satisfied with each other forever?

"If you come back to me in a week or so and you don't feel the same, then I will help you try to figure out where to go from there. But if you do feel the same, I am willing to bless your union. Unofficially, of course. I can't marry you—it isn't legal, and as I said, this is not the model God gave us for marriage. But I believe I could give you what you might call the next best thing. And regardless, I promise to pray for you, that you will have peace and happiness. So, will you try? Will you search your souls and determine to deal honestly with God and yourselves?"

I looked at Ray. "Will you do this for me?" I asked him quietly.

He reached up to touch my face. "I'll do anything for you," he answered.

I pulled him close. "I think we're agreed," I told Father Joseph.

The rector smiled. "Good. Now, by the smell, I'd say lunch is probably ready. Let's all wash up, shall we?"

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked Ray as he drove us away from the church.

He shook his head. "Could have been a lot worse. I figured he'd try to talk us out of it. Not... help us."

I put my hand on his knee. "I'm sorry you've lost confidence in spiritual leaders. I find it a comfort to know that I can go to them if I have nowhere else to turn."

"It's okay, Fraser. I know they're good people... most of them, anyway. And they mean well. And I will never try to stop you from getting their help if you feel like you need it." He let his right hand fall onto mine. "I'm taking you to the consulate now, right?"

"Yes, please."

"I think I'll go by the precinct, just to see if Welsh wants me back. I know we don't know where we're going yet, but I might as well see if the door is still open."

"Mm." I realized I had begun to think we would be going back to Canada. I had promised to go where Ray wanted to go, but I might be able to talk him around.

We arrived at the Canadian consulate a few minutes later. Ray didn't bother to park.

"I won't kiss you here," he said, smiling regretfully. "Too much chance someone we know might see."

"All right." I squeezed his leg. "I'll see you tonight."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

I had heard of Inspector Graham, but never met him before. By all accounts, he was a good man and a capable Mountie. When I met him in his office at the consulate, he invited me to sit down and congratulated me on my new rank.

"Thank you, sir," I said. "I haven't yet become accustomed to it."

"I'm sure your father would be proud. I didn't know him well, but I admired him. It was a hard thing he did. And it took grit to follow in his footsteps."

I thanked him again. "I've been hard pressed to find fellow Mounties who wish to work with me," I said. "Or indeed, to associate with me."

"Well, we are a bit isolated here. The politics of our homeland have to trickle down a good way to reach us. I understand why you spent so much time here."

I nodded. "There are a few other isolated areas where I could have a similar arrangement, but wherever I'm posted, I intend to continue working with my American partner. I'm afraid he takes exception to arctic climates."

"In that case, you may want to stay on here. I can use a second-in-command, particularly one who already knows the area."

"I'll consider it. However, when we visited Gjoa Haven, I was struck by the need there for reinforcements. The community has a surprisingly high crime rate for the limited manpower to handle. I'm inclined to offer my help there."

"But that's definitely an arctic climate."

"Yes. I'll have to discuss it with my partner."

"I can allow you some time to do that. In the meantime, I would be grateful if you could stop in from time to time."

"Of course. I can offer you my services now, if you have anything for me to do."

Graham asked me to shadow a new constable who was learning his duties at the consulate. I was to make certain that he followed protocols and performed each task, however small, to the best of his ability.

A little after five, Ray Vecchio called to see if I was ready for him to pick me up for dinner.

"It's like old times," Ray said as I closed the Riviera's passenger door. "Me pickin' you up here in the Riv."

I smiled. "I've missed those times."

"Well, we're gonna live it up tonight. I got us a reservation and everything."

"I hope you're not going to spend too much money on me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm not just pensioned, you know. The feds did pay me a nice little chunk for playing Langoustini."

"I'm sure you earned it. But if we're going to be out late, I'll need to call Ray to make sure Diefenbaker gets out for a walk. He's been cooped up since this morning."

Ray pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket. "Here, use my phone."

"Thank you."

I punched in Ray Kowalski's cell number.

"Hello?"

"Ray, it's me."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Are you at home?"

"Yeah, I got back a little bit ago. Mom and Dad are coming over soon."

"Could I ask a favor of you?"

"Of course."

"Could you take Dief outside?"

"Already did. He was by the door when I got home."

I relaxed. "Ah, thank you. I'm not sure when I'll be back, so I wanted to make sure he was looked after."

"Sure, no problem. Are you with Ray now?"

"Yes. He let me use his phone."

"Oh, okay. Well, have a good time."

"I'm sure we will."

"I love you."

I hesitated a moment, wanting to answer, but not wanting to alert my friend to our changing relationship.

But my partner understood and intervened. "I know, you don't want him to hear you say it."

"Precisely."

"I'll make it easy for you. Do you love me?"

"Very much."

I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, "Thanks. I'll see you later."

"All right. Goodbye." I gave the phone back.

"Sounds like he's doing okay?" Ray made a question out of his statement.

"Yes. When I first broke the news about you and Stella, he took it quite hard. But he bears you no ill will."

"Good to know."

"And though I'm sure it will cause him pain for some time, he has come a long way in accepting it."

"That's good." After a few seconds, he said, "I've been thinking about it a lot while you were gone. Trying to see things from his perspective. I don't know how long they've been apart, but for me... I thought at first I wouldn't be bothered if Angie—you remember Angie?"

I did. "Your ex-wife."

"Yeah. I thought it wouldn't bother me if she started seeing someone. She has seen a few guys since me. But then I got thinking, what if it was Kowalski that started seeing her. Well, that would be weird. Not necessarily bad, just... weird. I can't say for sure it wouldn't get to me, even though I'm not in love with her now."

"I'm fairly certain that Ray isn't in love with Stella anymore. But he will probably always love her."

He nodded slowly. "I think maybe we should all get together. Let them have a chance to talk... You know, just get everything out there. Think it would help?"

"It might. I'll ask Ray if he thinks so. You should ask Stella the same."

"Yeah. I mean, it can't hurt to ask." He pulled the car into a parking space. "This is it. Forget the freezer-burned salmon and seal steak and whatever else you've been living on. Your taste buds are about to sing."

I smiled, deciding not to bother filling him in on what Ray and I had actually been eating lately.

Breaking it off here because the chapter's getting long. More soon. Oh yeah, and have a cookie for reading it through. ^^