A/N: I want to give everyone who had reviewed a huge thank you. All of you have made my day. This is the first time I have ever written anything with sex in it, so any comments or critisms will be immensly appreciated and loved. You have no idea how nervous I was when I was writing this. I apologize for any errors. It's kind of late. Please review.

Summary: Sam found Dean at the local bar after searching all around town. Sam tried to talk to Dean about what had happened, but Dean refused to talk to Sam. Sam stayed at the bar, refusiong to leave until Dean had spoken to him. Sam waited while Dean played pool until Sam saw him enter the restroom with another guy. After chasing away the other guy, who was making advances on Dean, Sam began to yell at Dean's stupidity. The two fought until in the heat of the moment, Sam kissed Dean. Sam asked Dean to just speak with him at the motel, and Dean reluctantly agreed.

Chapter 7

Sam and Dean entered the motel room in total silence. Neither had spoken a word since they had been in the restroom at the bar. After they had entered the room, they looked around for a place to sit. They decided on sitting on their respective beds. As they sat down, they locked eyes. Sam wanted to see what Dean was feeling, but even his eyes would not betray him. Sam shifted uncomfortably. He knew Dean would be waiting for him to begin, but Sam was unsure of how to begin. When he opened his mouth to speak, nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. What could he say, that he was sorry he had given Dean hope and then taken it away like a spoiled child? As he began to think of a way to begin, Dean interrupted his thoughts.

"Why?" Dean asked in a quiet voice

"Why what?" Sam asked as he thought, 'Well, at least it's a way to begin'

"Why the hell did you do this to me?" Dean's voice had a slight edge, as if holding himself back.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, confused at what Dean was talking about.

Dean averted his eyes as he spoke "I try to kiss you when we were here and you reject me. Then you go looking for me all over town, for what reason I don't know. I try to ignore you when you found me at the bar, but you won't go away. You save me from some freak in a restroom before yelling at me. I tell you to let me have some fun and then you kiss me. You give me so many mixed signals I don't even know what to think anymore. It's annoying. Why?"

"Dean I didn't reject you…" but Dean interrupted Sam

"You didn't reject me? Then why the hell did you push me away?"

Sam felt his heart hurt when he heard Dean's tone. He was being so distant, like none of this mattered to him, but before Sam could respond, Dean continued talking.

"When you pushed me away and told me what we had done was wrong it was like a stab in the heart. After I left I walked around for a while. I didn't even realize where I was going. My mind kept going back to what had happened. Every time I thought about it I could still remember how it felt when I left. It hurt, but I refused to show it. After I managed to suppress how much it hurt I just got angry. You kissed back, but then you just pushed me away. You responded, but then you just shove me away. Why? Why would you do that to me?"

Dean looked up to meet Sam's eyes, waiting for an explanation. Sam took a deep breath. He was feeling a number of emotions, so many in fact that his head began to spin. Trying to shake it off, Sam began to speak, hoping Dean would understand.

"Dean, I…I never meant to hurt you. It…just…I was afraid."

Dean cut him off here.

"You think I wasn't scared? That was terrifying. I don't know anything. I don't know who I was or really who you are or anything…" here Sam interjected

"That's why I was afraid. You don't know anything. You don't understand about the past. About who you were or who I am."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Dean asked

"It has everything to do with what was going on. There are things you don't know. There are things I haven't told you. Things I should have told you."

'Like how we're related' Sam adds in his heads, wishing he had told Dean from the very beginning.

"So what? So there are things I don't know about my past. That doesn't mean a thing."

"Yes, it does," Sam insisted. "Trust me, if you knew the whole story, this whole thing would be so different than the way you're seeing it. Dean, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. That wasn't what I wanted to do. Please understand that." Sam looked at Dean, hoping Dean's reaction was not the one he felt he deserved.

Dean kept a blank face on as he asked, "Then why did you reject me? If you didn't stop the kiss because you didn't want me, then why did you stop?"

Sam took a calming breath before answering Dean's question. "Dean, I'm sorry. I was just so afraid. You don't know about anything that's going. I didn't want to take advantage of you."

Dean looked incredulous when Sam said this. "You didn't want to take advantage of me? I kissed you. Or did you forget that?"

Sam felt his frustration build as the conversation continued. Why wouldn't Dean understand?

"Dean, trust me. If I had told you everything, then things would be so different. I'm such a selfish bastard. I didn't tell you everything about who you used to be."

"I asked you not to tell me any more. Remember?"

"Yeah, but if I had just told you from the beginning, then this wouldn't have happened. God I don't know what I was thinking."

Sam looked up at Dean to see his reaction. Dean was silent for a moment, as if contemplating how to continue from here. Sam looked down, afraid of how the conversation would go from here. When Dean spoke again, Sam almost jumped in surprise.

"Sam, why are you doing this to yourself? To me? You wanted that, just as much as I did. I know you did. I can tell by the fact that you came after me. When you began the kiss the second time, I could tell how much you wanted this. I may not remember much, but that doesn't matter. I don't need memories to tell me that we can or can't do this." At this point, Dean stood up and sat next to Sam, close enough so that Sam's breath hitched, but far enough to give Sam the space he needed.

"That's the root of this whole problem. You don't remember. I can't…" but Dean interrupted him

"Sam, let me ask you a question. I…this thing which is making you feel you should have told me… you feel it's that important? I want to know, this secret would it…" Dean swallowed audibly and suddenly became more nervous. Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder to encourage Dean to continue. Dean seemed to feel better, much to Sam's happiness, once he had placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. When Dean began to speak again, Sam had to listen closely, as he had begun to whisper.

"Would this secret make you look at me differently?"

"What?" Sam was unsure of what Dean meant, and while it hurt him to see him being so meek, he was also happy Dean was opening up to him.

"Whatever it is that you know that I should, does it make you…make you not want me anymore?" Sam gasped and Dean averted his eyes and tried to move away from Sam's hand, but could not, seeing as how Sam was gripping him hard.

Sam was so surprised at Dean's thought. The openness and the fear in Dean's voice shook Sam to his very core. He could not imagine ever feeling that way about Dean. Grasping Dean's chin, he forced Dean to face him. He felt the need to assure Dean, to tell him he was wrong.

"Dean, listen to me. I would never, never ever feel like that. Trust me, I care about you more than I've ever thought I could care for someone. I don't know how, but every time I see you all I can think is how beautiful you are. I used to think all the time about how much you used to care for me and how you would protect me when we were little. Whenever you would catch me you used to tell me I was thinking too much. When you asked what I was thinking about I would always lie. I could tell you knew, but you would pretend you didn't."

Sam laughed lightly and he felt Dean relax and laugh a little too. Their eyes met again and suddenly, the atmosphere changed. Sam could feel a change in temperature, but he didn't know what had caused it. They simply sat there for another moment, in peaceful silence. After a few minutes of calm bliss, Dean broke the silence.

"If that's true, Sam, then why are you stopping yourself?"

Sam felt guilt set in, deep in his gut, like a coiling snake, at the reminder of his foolish mistake but he suppressed it as he tried to make Dean understand.

"Dean, please, you have to understand. I should have told you this as soon as you had woken up, but…"

"Stop" Dean commanded.

"What?"

"I said stop. Just relax. This thing you're worrying about, don't worry about it. I know how guilty you feel about pushing me away and I know that whatever it is you feel you should have told me, its making you feel bad, but I don't want to know. Please, I forgive you, just let it go. I understand that I need to remember, but I just…I'm afraid, you know? What if I go crazy because of what I remember? What if I never remember? That recollection was so terrifying, and I never want to go through that again, but at the same time I know I have to remember. I just…I don't think I'm ready to hear any more. Please, just… wait until I'm ready, please."

Sam was stunned by Dean's revelation. Dean had never been so open with him before, so ready to put himself in Sam's hands, and it startled him a little. Dean never let himself be vulnerable before. How do you comfort someone who's always comforted you? Sam couldn't figure it out, so for now, he settled for what he could. He placed his arm around Dean and held him close. Dean didn't resist as Sam pulled him close to his chest. They sat there like that for a while, Sam wondering what he had done to deserve someone as understanding as Dean and Dean, listening to Sam's heartbeat, a reminder that Sam was here, and was not pushing him away. Sam began to feel himself falling into enjoyable bliss, until a thought entered his head. He hated to break this silence, but he knew he had to ask.

"Dean, what now?"

Dean did not answer. Sam was wondering whether Dean has heard him or not. Before Sam said anything about it though, Dean pulled away just a little bit to look Sam in the eyes.

"Well, we can do a lot of things right now. We could go back to watching TV, or we could just go to sleep. It's late anyway. Or we could…"Sam watched as Dean's cheeks began to flush. He smirked as he figured out what Dean was insinuating, but Sam felt the need to mess with Dean.

"We could what?" Sam said, putting on an expression he hoped was innocent.

Dean looked up at Sam as though he were crazy. Sam had hoped he could mess with Dean just a little, but when he saw Dean calm down he realized he must have given himself away.

"You know damn well what I mean Sam."

"Really? I have no clue what you're talking about."

"You're not going to make me say it out loud are you?" Dean's face had turned a bright red at this point, which made Sam smile. Dean looked so adorable.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sam said, although he couldn't resist grinning.

Dean gave Sam a mock glare. Sam laughed, unable to keep his 'innocent' face on any longer. Dean kept glaring until his face split into a smile and he began to laugh too. They both began to laugh harder and harder. They couldn't help themselves. They felt like a giant pressure had been lifted off of them and suddenly everything seemed funny. Both turned red in the face as they began to laugh even harder, unable to help themselves. Sam closed his eyes and fell back on his bed, Dean falling on top of him. As they fell with a small thud, they laughed even harder. They sat like that until Sam heard Dean suddenly stop laughing and he opened his eyes. He saw Dean staring at him, unmoving, his eyes slightly unfocused, as if in a trance. Sam felt all of the humor disappear as it was replaced with something much more intimate. Without putting much thought into it, Sam leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean's, much more softly than before. Time froze for the both of them as they just sat there, lips touching, in a moment of tender affection. When they parted Sam laughed when he saw Dean's eyes. They were a color Sam had never seen before.

'No that's not it' Sam thought. They were still the same hazel brown color, but they had a different tint to them, something Sam couldn't describe, only see and feel. Dean opened his mouth as if to say something, and Sam took advantage of the moment to place another kiss on Dean's lips. Sam used his tongue to explore every part of his brother's mouth, something he had wanted to do since he was a teenager. Sam ran tongue over Dean's teeth, smooth and hard, and over the insides of Dean's smooth cheeks. Dean's tongue met his, a little hesitant, and Sam took the moment to taste the unique taste of his brother. Sam tried to figure out what the taste was. He could taste liquor, some of the toothpaste his brother used, and something uniquely Dean, something Sam couldn't quite figure out. After a few moments Sam gave up trying to figure what it was and just labeled it as…well Dean. Sam wanted to stay like that forever, but as his lungs began to burn for oxygen he knew he had to pull away. Regretfully, Sam pulled away and immediately began to breathe deeply to get oxygen back into his lungs. Sam watched as Dean sat up and did the same thing. After a few minutes Sam felt strong enough to sit up and smile at Dean. He wanted to ask Dean something, but before he could say anything Dean spoke.

"Wow" Dean said, more than a little breathless.

Sam laughed, saying "You're right. Wow"

"I could do that all day" Dean said with a grin

"So could I. Trust me, so could I" Sam admitted

Dean's eyes lit up as he said, "I hope that's not ALL we're going to do."

Sam felt desire burn deep in his stomach when he heard Dean say that, but he had to make sure Dean was completely ok with what they were thinking about doing.

"Dean, are you sure you want to do this? Once we do this, there's no going back, and you still don't remem…" however Sam as unable to finish his sentence as Dean interrupted him.

"Trust me, Sam, I'm more than ready."

"Yeah, but…"

"Sam, please, I may not have my memories, but I don't need them to know how much I want you."

Sam got a glint in his eyes when he heard Dean say this. With a predatory grin, he grabbed Dean and kissed him hard, with a passion he didn't even know he had. Dean responded to the kiss quickly, but Sam was far from done. He had waited for so long and finally, he had been given a chance. He was not about to let it go to waste. Moving his hands to the hem of Dean's shirt, he moved his hands under them and began to push up, slowly. Sam felt as Dean shrugged of his jacket, to make it easier for him to remove the shirt. He felt Dean's hands move down his body, touching and feeling, exploring every crevice of his body. Dean's hands moved slowly, sensually, down Sam's torso to his groin. When Sam felt a hand wrap around his hard length even through the denim, he couldn't help letting out a groan. Sam didn't want to break the kiss, but he couldn't find a way to take Dean's shirt off without breaking the kiss, and Dean's hand was being very distracting. Pulling away, Sam began to breathe deeply as Dean moved his hands away from Sam to finish removing his shirt. Sam quickly removed his own and threw it to the side as he went in to kiss Dean again. He pushed Dean back until Dean was lying on the bed before breaking the kiss and pulling away.

Sam just wanted to look at Dean for just a second. What he saw was just…beautiful. Dean lying under him, panting and red in the face was just the hottest thing he had ever seen. Sam swept down placed his mouth on Dean's neck, placing gentle kisses as he moved down. All of a sudden, he bit down gently, leaving a small mark, and earning a groan from Dean. Moving down a little, Sam placed more kisses on Dean's collar bone, leaving marks every once in a while, a reminder that this was actually happening. He moved back up to give Dean another deep kiss, relishing in the fact that this was reality and not just a dream or fantasy. Dean, who at first as just sitting there was now moving his hands down to Sam's jeans. Deftly undoing the button of Sam's jeans, Dean moved his hands under the denim, and pushed Sam's jeans and boxers down together. Sam pulled away for a moment and smirked at Dean's eagerness as he kicked off his boxers and jeans. Swooping down for another kiss, Sam moved his own hands to Dean's jeans and did the same thing as Dean had. After helping Dean remove his jeans and boxer briefs, Sam pulled away once again. He just had to look at Dean again. Dean opened his eyes when he noticed Sam had stopped.

"What?" Dean said, gasping for air.

"Nothing, just, god…you're so…beautiful" Sam said, quickly leaning down and taking one of Dean's nipples into his mouth. Dean gasped at the sudden move and arched his back as Sam began to lick and bite. Sam moved one of his hands and copied what he was doing to the nipple in his mouth with his hand, pinching and rubbing until they were both hard little nubs. Continued his journey down Dean's body, Sam continued pressing soft, tender kisses, leaving a small mark here and there and earning more moans from Dean. With one of his hands, Sam began to move down Dean's body as he continued to leave small kisses on his stomach, tasting Dean's salty sweat and watching as some of his own fell onto Dean. Sam moved back up to give Dean another kiss as he brought his hand down to Dean's erection. Dean groaned, deep in his throat, a feral noise, as Sam wrapped his hand around Dean's length. Sam slowly began to pump Dean's erection, similar to how Dean hand had moved in his dream, moving slowly at first and then gaining speed, flicking the top of Dean's length with his thumb. Dean broke the kiss and moaned as Sam increased his hand's speed, moving faster and faster as time went on. Sam watched as Dean moaned and panted, covered in a fine sheen of sweat and writhing with the pleasure Sam was giving him. Sam was beyond hard now and knew he wouldn't last much longer before he would have to look for release, but he wanted this to last as long as possible. Speeding up his hand, Sam began to place more kisses on Dean's neck as he felt Dean begin to buck his hips as he got closer to the edge. Sam felt his own sweat run down his neck, some falling on Dean. Sam continued to press kisses on Dean's neck until he felt his hand being pushed away from Dean's erection. Pulling away to look into Dean's eyes, he wondered what was going on.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, concerned

Dean panted for a minute as he tried to get himself under control before answering.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that…I…don't want this to end that quick, or at least not yet" Dean smiled at this point as he continued. "Any more and I might not have lasted very much longer."

Sam calmed down and gave Dean a huge smile full of understanding. Dean smiled back and Sam bent down for another long slow kiss. After a moment Sam pulled away and felt he had to ask something.

"Dean, so what now?"

Dean averted his eyes and began to answer

"I want you to…" Dean blushed and did not finish his sentence. Sam understood and smiled at Dean and gave him a small reassuring kiss.

"Dean, you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah…"came Dean's answer

"Alright, but if you want to stop, tell me, ok?"

"Yeah, Sammy"

Sam smiled at the nickname and gave Dean another kiss before moving away. Sam quickly walked to the restroom and pulled out a bottle of lotion. Dean looked at him questioningly.

"I don't want to hurt you, Dean"

"Have you…have you ever done this?" Dean asked

"A few times, when I was in college. Have you?" Sam said, a little afraid of Dean's answer

Dean laughed, "I don't remember. Have I?"

Sam had forgotten about Dean's amnesia.

"Sorry, I forgot about your amnesia."

"Don't worry about it Sammy"

Sam walked back to Dean and put some lotion on his hands. With one hand he prepared himself and with the other began to insert a finger into Dean to slowly prepare him. Sam watched Dean, making sure he was ok. After the initial wince, Dean said he was ok, and Sam continued, first with two and then with three fingers. Sam watched Dean carefully for any signs of discomfort. To Sam's surprise, after wincing Dean began to push down his fingers in eager anticipation. After a few moments, Sam pulled his fingers away. Dean got up on his elbows to see what Sam was doing. Sam aligned his cock with Dean's opening, but hesitated for a moment. Dean nodded with a smile, trying to reassure Sam. Sam began to push in slowly. As soon as he had entered he heard Dean gasp. Sam waited until Dean calmed down a little before moving again, pushing in some more. He heard Dean moan in pain, and Sam was afraid he had hurt Dean.

"Dean, you ok?" Sam managed to choke out. He felt so good, but if this was hurting Dean he would stop.

"Sammy, it hurts." Sam heard Dean sob through his throat, face screwed in pain

"Do you want me to stop?" Sam didn't want to stop, but Dean was more important.

"No…just do it all at once"

Sam didn't answer, instead pushing in the rest of the way in one large thrust like Dean wanted. Dean gasped in pain and a few tears fell from his eyes. Sam used one of his hands to wipe away Dean's tears and leaned down to plant several kisses on Dean's face as an apology. Sam waited until Dean wrapped his arms around him to continue. Sam placed both hands on Dean's hips and pulled out slowly and began to push in slowly again. Sam moved a little differently and hit something he hadn't before and this time, Sam heard Dean moan in pleasure rather than pain.

"Harder" Dean pleaded

Sam obeyed and continued to move, slowly at first, then building speed in a steady rhythm. Dean moaned and writhed as Sam began to build speed, and Sam knew he wouldn't last long. With each thrust Sam felt himself getting closer to release. He moved one hand to Dean's length and began to jerk it frantically. Sam heard Dean groan at the new sensation and Dean continued to writhe against Sam, their sweat mixing.

"Faster" Dean moaned

Sam increased his speed even more. Sam began to moan along with Dean as he came closer and closer to release. Sam sped up his hand and Dean moaned even louder. After a few minutes, neither brother could take it anymore.

"Sammy!" Dean cried as he came, writhing on the bed, his head falling back on the bed.

When Dean came, Sam went over the edge. With a growl, Sam came and then fell forward on top of Dean. Both lay there, sated, in bliss until Dean pushed on Sam a little to move.

"As much as I like you, you're heavy. Move." Dean said

"Hey, are you telling me I'm fat?" Sam said, a smile on his face as he moved.

"No, I'm telling you you're huge. You're like a foot taller than me" Dean got comfortable against Sam, not caring about the mess they were in or how their skin stuck together from the sweat. Sam put his arms around Dean and held him there in a hug. Dean closed his eyes with a content smile on his face. Sam couldn't help but have a huge grin on his face as he held Dean, knowing that they did this and that this was reality was the best feeling he had ever had. Pressing a kiss to the crown of Dean's head, he breathed in his brother's scent deeply and began to doze off. As he was falling asleep he heard Dean mumble.

"Love you Sammy" Dean mumbled before falling into exhausted sleep.

Sam's heart felt like it would burst when he hear Dean say that. Even though Dean couldn't hear him, Sam whispered back.

"I love you too, Dean" Sam whispered, hugging Dean a little tighter to his body. Sam sat in content silence, listening to Dean's breathing, until he too closed his eyes and slept.