A/N: I will not deny that I should have updated earlier, and that this chapter...isn't the greatest. I spent about half and hour on this, you know.
Anyway, I hope it's alright...some are a bit weak, I know, but I'm fine with that.
Enjoy!
20 Ways to Annoy, Anger, and ect. Urgan Nagru
1. Tell him that his name is utterly idiotic, with all that 'backwards and forwards' nonsense, and point out that he is not immortal, and that Death will get him no matter what.
2. Say something about you being far superior to him, and add something about him going on and 'slopping wine'.
3. Remind him of his failure in capturing the Royal Family and co., voicing thoughts about "A drunken rat" doing better than he did.
4. Gather a group of friends, and, with whitebeam splinters clenched in your (hands, paws), steal into his room when he is asleep, softly whisper, "One, two, three!" and plunge them into Urgan's sleeping body, and run away fast.
5. Taunt him (from a safe distance) about an otter and a mute badger single-pawdedly killed off a good number of his rats.
6. Feed his wolfskin to the fire.
7. While he sees you, and stops suddenly, smile and, with a knife, start shredding his newly-found wolfskin coat and throw the silver claws into the moat (you need to be outside for this.)
8. Sneak up on him and hit him, hard, but not hard enough to send him into unconsciousness, with a gullwhacker.
9. Again taunt him about two simple mice and a couple of hares destroying his Dirgecallers, plus more than a score of hordebeasts, and throwing him off the scent of the Royal Family, yet again.
10. Call him a 'Jumped up jonnie goin' around wearing the skin of another creature' and 'a windbag'.
11. Tie him up (somehow) and dance around him in a chair, singing, "I know something that you don't!" over and over.
12. Ask him very sweetly if he got any rest while the 'prisoners' escaped.
13. Shove him in the moat.
14. Convince him that Silvamord is plotting against him, and do the same to Silvamord. Then proceed to watch them duke it out.
15. Tell him that even though there are puny little life forms, in his opinion, fighting him, he is still losing. Then duck out of the way.
16. Set the wolfskin on fire…with Nagru in it, and no way but to go down through air thousands of feet high.
17. Throw stale, rock-hard oatcakes at him. Numerous amounts of them until you get quite a few good shots.
18. Remind him when, he is bragging about him killing the wolf Nagru, that he actually found his corpse in a frozen stream, and that is nothing to brag about.
19. Sweetly and innocently tell again to him how a simple otter beat him-one he considered lower than him.
20. Let him spend time in a dungeon, chained to a wall, with those he hurt or killed in his past life get to torture him for an hour each. Just not kill him. (Not that he can be, but he can be knocked unconscious.)