NOTE: Sorry it took awhile. Had to work on some very important college papers. That and migraines and body pain because of it.
Also, big thanks to SeleneArchelle for the idea for this chapter and helping me flesh out some of the details (She's a fellow FFN reader/writer). I already bought you two lunches so you owe me one.
Erza could argue that she just enjoyed the finest strawberry cake ever conjured in existence. She likened it as a taste of heaven, a rare dessert served only to the pantheon of the most divine. It was cathartic, in a way. Cathartic such that she had completely ignored the brawl between Natsu and Gajeel that ultimately culminated in both mages landing against the bar and knocking the now empty plate she had eaten from.
"And to think such behavior is why we are reviled by our clientele," Erza growled as a sword materialized in her hand.
Both dragon slayers squeaked and tried to appease the now irate Titania.
"Natsu, Gajeel! Your scents may excite a fair maiden such as myself into a most pleasurable carnal experience but your behavior is abhorrent beyond compare!"
The gawks she received confused her enough to deflect her wrath. Natsu and Gajeel simply failed to form coherent sentences, much less words, as they stared at her. Erza raised her sword nonetheless. And as she hacked and slashed away at the two now mortified (and slightly confused) dragon slayers, the rest of the guild began to wonder what in the hell was in that strawberry cake because Titania's subsequent comments were...far too forward.
"Natsu! Get your nicely chiseled rear over here!"
Macao prickled his ear with his finger before turning to Wakaba and asking, "Is it me or did Erza just compliment Natsu's ass?"
It was later in the day when people really started to question what was going on with Erza. Her remarks too brutally honest as well as too damn loud. Not that they were entertaining to hear though.
"Natsu, word reached me that you defecated with great effort on the train to Hargeon a few days ago. To think you would have done better after that time when we were kids when you soiled your sleeping bag and begged me not to tell anyone."
"For shame, Gajeel. I understand how difficult it is to hold your stool during a crucial stage in a mission but to shower Levy and Lucy in it is unbefitting of you. Now how could Levy answer your desires for an intimate relationship after that whole affair?"
"It's about time Gray gave Juvia a proper chance. He has often been muttering her name in his sleep. That young man should give her a straight answer. I sometimes think his sexual frustration is already worsening his stripping habit."
"So Laxus drank an aphrodisiac? I was not aware that he was that desperate for sexual intercourse. Mira might finally be able to bed him given that she purchased it in the first place."
"I sometimes wonder what it's like to have Jellal wrap me in his arms again and take me all the way..."
That last statement made everyone freeze in place. Including Erza. Who finally lost all color as she finally realized that she had shared a most guarded thought her fellow guild mates. She slowly took in her surroundings, finally registering the reality outside her vocal musings. The faces of everyone around her—from Lucy and Levy to Macao and Wakaba to Max, Nab, Reedus, and even Master himself who had taken this very moment to have a short beer break from fretting over damage complaints in his office—were chiseled with expressions of absolute horror and shock. No one dared to say a word.
Erza, mortified beyond belief, finally laid eyes to the only family in the whole guild. A furiously blushing Bisca pressed her hands over Asuka's ears while Alzack desperately dragged them outside the hall.
"I...I...d-did I...h-have I...?"
That was when Natsu suddenly wailed, "Erza! You're mean! You promised to keep it a secret!"
"I did!" protested a panicking Erza. "I...I...just didn't realize I had said it! Natsu, I'm sorry!" She made to grab him to let him hit her but he slipped out of her grasp and ran, crying, to the back of the guild to hide his shame while Happy tried in vain to cheer him up.
"Erza...you're so cruel," Levy croaked from under her own shadow with a mix of antipathy and exhaustion.
"I want to be alone," Gajeel growled, crushing the iron bits he had been munching on into fine dust.
"I...didn't know you were so forward," Mira said nonchalantly, her signature smile gone from her face while she clutched the mug she was cleaning with rapt vigor. "I did not buy that love po—a-a-alcoholic beverage for Laxus."
"B-but isn't it you were sometimes secretly telling me how much you really wanted to try it out with him?" Erza then slapped her hands across her mouth.
Mirajane wordlessly handed the mug to Kinana, passed the rag to Lisanna, and mechanically locked herself in the wine cellar. Muffled crying and demonic sneering could be heard from within.
"Oh no," Lucy muttered.
Erza snapped her head around the guild. Everyone was now keeping their distance, looking both cross and terrified. And she now knew why. Before her brain could command her mouth to speak, she blurted out through her hands, "I know too many secrets and I'm trying desperately not to share them!"
From the edge of the stage, Master sighed. "Great. Which one of you brats laced Erza's cake with a truth serum!?"
Erza immediately bowed. She opened her mouth but found her tongue having a mind of its own. "Do not fret, Master! I will do my best not to tell the guild about my secret mission with Crime Sorcière to monitor a rising dark guild."
Master raised his brow at her.
She clasped her hands against her mouth, her face now redder than her hair and her sweat evaporating off her skin. "T-that's supposed to b-be a secret!"
"Hey, Erza!" Happy called. "Did you take that job just to get closer to Jellal?"
"N-n-n-y-y-ye—" The S-class mage kicked the exceed into the wall. "Master! I...I should be going now!"
"Yes, you should," he replied sagely.
Erza shoved her knuckle into her mouth to hold back any more words as she bowed apologetically to her fellow guild mates while hastily making her exit.
The designated meeting place was on the edge of the highway just outside Magnolia. Crime Sorcière gathered under the gantry, patiently waiting. It was getting late and Midnight was yawning after a good day's rest. Cobra raised his head and said, "Heads up. She's here."
Sure enough, Titania appeared complete with her wagon of luggage. Given her personality, one would think that the various bags and suitcases of equipment would be tied down neatly over the cart but the tower of mishmash that greeted them would have prompted worry from a safety inspector. Strangely, the same could be said of Erza herself who looked as though she had lost significant hours of sleep.
"Erza," Jellal asked. "Are you alright?"
"No! I'm not," she snapped before slapping her hand over her mouth. "I-I mean...I-I'm..."
"Oh, shit," Cobra muttered, clutching his temples.
"Are you reading me right now!?" Erza growled.
"I can't help it..."
Jellal stepped in front of her. This sudden outburst must be because of something trivial. Probably because of another brawl at Fairy Tail. "Erza, we should start moving before it gets dark."
"I know, Jellal sweetie—" Erza squeaked and shoved her knuckle into her mouth.
"Sweetie?" The term of endearment echoed off the mouths of every single member of Crime Sorcière present. Meredy and Sorano were flustered. Midnight was now fully awake. Racer and Hoteye felt their jaws go slack. Cobra started doubling over in fits of laughter.
"Ignore that!" Titania reasoned desperately. "S-s-something's taken control of my mouth! I cannot apply proper restraint at all!"
"Erza, calm down," Jellal said, despite the fact that his cheeks were now warming up. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Jellal, honey—" There it was again. Another slip. Erza bit her tongue.
"And she is telling everything!" Cobra hooted with a grin. He panted while gripping his sides while leaning against the arms of both Meredy and Sorano who were by now sputtering among themselves. "Damn, Titania. All the things you wish you and Jellal could do in private."
"I don't want to know," Racer muttered.
"Rather intimate!" Hoteye declared.
"Well, shit," Midnight added while Meredy and Sorano sputtered fragments of words.
The aura around Erza darkened. Sure enough, it frightened most of Crime Sorcière into silence. Except for Cobra who just kept going. "Titania, could you do me a favor?"
"What?" she seethed through her teeth.
"Tell me that an orange is yellow."
Everyone now seemed to be more confused than baffled. But Erza straightened herself. "An orange i-is y-y-y-ye-o-orange!"
"Hah! I knew it! You can't lie, Titania!"
"No! No, that's n-n-no—it's true!"
Cobra smirked while Meredy beamed. The gleam in her eyes disturbingly resembled Mira's whenever the barmaid was hell bent on getting something done. The young pink-haired lady cooed, "So, Erza. Do you have any feelings for Jellal?"
Erza started shaking. Her legs wobbled and her arms quivered.
"Well, Titania?" the poison dragon-slayer teased. "I can hear your soul singing...'Jellal, Jellaaal, Jellaaaaaaal'...Jellal's loving embra—"
Predictably, Cobra dodged the powerful fist that sent Hoteye flying halfway across Magnolia.
"I r-r-r-refuse to answer!"
Jellal was now at a loss for comprehension. That and he was redder than her hair. He gulped and gripped the sides of her arms. "E-Erza...calm down, please. I... W-we have to focus."
"Oh, Jellaaaal," Meredy sang. There was a glint in her eye that screamed absolute mischief. "You want us to drop by your fiancé's place later? Introduce her to Erza?"
Erza yelled before he could respond. "I know you lied to me that time, Jellal! You're a horrible liar."
"Looks like you got your work cut out for you," Racer remarked.
"To think she's the sanest member of Fairy Tail we could bring on for this job," Sorano finally chirped. She giggled before falling behind Meredy who was already holding up a lacrima recorder. "You can let go of her now, Jellal. She's not a doll, you know."
"We should go. Now," Jellal finally ordered, stepping back and pulling up his hood. It took awhile for everyone to get moving up the highway with Midnight dragging a bleeding Hoteye alongside a sniggering Cobra and smirking Racer while Meredy and Sorano tried to console (matchmake) an emotionally distressed Erza.
The glen was a frequent camping ground for Crime Sorcière which made it easier for the group to settle down for the night. Tents were pitched in the same spots. For utilitarian purposes, at least two had to bunk together. As usual, Midnight kept watch for the whole group. And much to Jellal's absolute discomfort and annoyance, it had been decided completely without his input (and Erza's) that he would have share his beddings with Titania.
Because Cobra said so. And surprisingly, everyone agreed. Including Midnight.
"I-I'm sorry," Jellal mumbled, sitting cross-legged on the ground, twiddling his thumbs. "I should discipline them for this."
"T-there's no n-need, Jellal," Erza stammered from her corner.
It was an entirely awkward set-up. Both mages had been forced into a situation where the only apparent solution was bunking together. So it was no surprise that Erza huddled into her corner while Jellal did the same. That and they somehow managed a three-foot gap between them in a six-square-foot space.
"Have you...um, changed?" he asked.
"Yes. Y-you?"
Jellal looked at his hands. Then his gloved hands. Then his leather boots. He gulped—he hadn't changed since this morning but he would rather sleep in his traveling garments right now. His cloak would be his blanket while his knapsack would be his pillow. His sleeping bag would be his mattress. "I should...go to bed...now."
"Yes. Of course. I-I s-should, too."
They turned to face each other at the same time. Erza was dressed in some nightgown that reminded him of that one intimate incident at a particular beach not too long ago. She looked so modest and uncertain. It was that rare unseen side to her that struck a strong cord of nostalgia into him. So he was nearly thrown for a loop when she suddenly hurled her arm, tossing a flurry of daggers at the side of the tent, ripping through the fabric and nearly shaving strips of hair off Cobra's, Hoteye's, and Racer's scalps.
The whole side of the tent draped onto the ground with the three eavesdroppers smirking with what Cana would have called shit-eating grins.
"I thought we were being quiet," Racer said.
"It's Titania. She could hear your heartbeat," Cobra corrected.
"You are both so adorable," Hoteye declared rather passionately.
"Have you no shame!?" Erza hollered, her nightgown quickly replaced by her signature cuirass while a sword materialized in her hand. "How dare you disrupt an intimate moment with my beloved Jel—eep!"
Whatever atmosphere of intimidation completely dissipated as Erza cupped her mouth and Cobra started rolling on the ground laughing again. "My, my Titania!" he wheezed between intervals. "Tell me, do you think our boss is that handsome?"
"Yes!" Titania stiffened and growled. "N-n-n-don't test me!"
The poison dragon-slayer leered at her. "It's not my fault your voice is so strong. Even I can't really tune it out."
"Jellal and I are c-close!"
"That's a truth," Racer remarked.
"She can't lie," Hoteye added.
Cobra straightened himself, ignoring Titania's glare. "I'm guessing Jellal would be your first. If it makes you feel better, I'd say you'd be his first, too."
Racer and Hoteye wisely stepped aside while Erza beat Cobra (who was too busy amusing himself with the voice of her soul to even dodge her blows) to a bloody pulp. They looked to Jellal who had retreated under his hood and cloak. They smiled, correctly guessing that their master was drowning in a sea of repressed hormones.
Meanwhile, behind a bush not far off, Meredy lowered the lacrima recorder with a pout. Sorano sighed. Midnight shook his head and leaned against the tree. He could never understand what it was with these girls (or any girl in general) to be so interested in the personal lives of others. Not that he himself shared any interest. He had far better things to do.
ORIGINALLY DRAFTED: November 12, 2017
LAST EDITED: November 23, 2017
INITIALLY UPLOADED: November 23, 2017
NOTE: Let me know if some of Crime Sorcière's members are out of character. I'm not very familiar with the Oracion Seis folks so do let me know if I got some of them wrong and stuff like that. Especially Cobra. Don't know if he could be that expressive.
Still, I hope you like it. Took me a damn long while to finalise this chapter because of college papers.
Oh, and thanks to CabbageGirl99 for highlighting that grammatical flub. My brain's still recovering from cramming my dissertation so grammar mistakes are to be expected despite proofreading.