Chapter 7: Movies and Strip Poker
At the Quahog mall, Meg and Zack are the clothing store looking for a new dress. Zack was paying for it. Little did they know, Lois and Peter where spying on them withing one of the clothes holders.
"How about... this one?" asked Meg.
"Nah, too skanky," said Zack.
"What's so skanky about it?" asked Meg.
"Britany Spears once wore one like that," said Zack.
"Eww," said Meg as she slowly put it away.
Meanwhile in the clothes holder...
"It's been an hour already! When are they gonna talk about last night?" asked Lois in frustration.
"Lois this is boring," said Peter, "Wait, I got it! We'll play I spy."
"Peter, this is no time for games," said Lois.
"C'mon, It'll be fun," said Peter.
"Oh fine," said Lois, "You go first."
"Okay. I spy with my eye, something in the room that's... blue. Guess what it is," said Peter.
"Peter, all I see are clothes," said Lois.
"Just guess."
"Fine is the blue turtleneck shirt?"
"Nooooope!"
"Those blue jeans?"
"Noooooope!"
The blue jersey?"
"Noooooope!"
"Dammit Peter! Every f#cking piece of clothing in this clothes holder is either blue or has blue on it!"
"Yes... But which one?" asked Peter.
"AAAARGH!!!"
(Back to the store)
"What was that?" asked Meg.
"I dunno," said Zack, "Kinda sounded like your mom. Anyway can we go now? We've been searching for an hour."
"Well we wound be gone if someone would stop criticising every dress I wore," said Meg.
"Sorry, but I don't really want my girlfriend dressing up like a hooker," said Zack.
"Girlfriend?" asked Lois.
"Anyway, after this, maybe you can help me pick out some underwear," said Meg slyly.
"Whoa! Let's not go there," said Zack, "Remember, we said we would not tempt each other for sex until you turned 18."
"Okay, then we'll go to the movies instead," said Meg as she and Zack walked to the counter.
(back inside the clothes holder)
"Peter, I think they became a couple last night!" said Lois, "Meg is dating a 20 year old."
"Did you guess what it was?" asked Peter.
"Are you still on that game," asked Lois in annoyance, "Our daughter is involved in statutory rape. Come one!"
"Okay, it was the blue khakis," said Peter as he and Lois headed out, "And the term is Statutory surprise sex. And they did say they weren't actually having sex."
"Still, he's too old for Meg," said Lois, "I want her with someone close to her age."
"Like, who? What teenager in Quahog would want to go out with Meg other than Niel Goldman? I say as long as she's happy we should leave it at that."
"Wait, are you CARING about Meg?" asked Lois.
"What? Can't a father care about the feelings of his own daughter every once in a while?" said Peter.
"You didn't care when you threw her out of the house," said Lois.
"I said every once in a while, not every damn day," said Peter.
"Your probably right, Peter. But I want to check on them at the movies. I don't want any funny stuff happening," said Lois.
Later at the movies, Meg and Zack were watching some romance movie that she really wanted to watch. This made Zack and Peter(who was with Lois spying on them) uncomfortable since it wasn't manly.
"Are there any explosions?" asked Zack.
"No," said Meg.
"Any cool fight scenes?"
"No."
"Any scene where the main character acts like a drunken retard?"
"No."
"Any gun fights or sword fights?"
"No."
"ANY violence at all?"
"No."
"Then why the hell am I watching this crap?!?!" asked Zack as he got up to leave.
"Because you love me?" said Meg.
"Oh, right," said Zack as he sat down and held Meg's hand.
"So what are they doing now?" asked Peter as he shoved popcorn into his mouth.
"I think they're holding hands," said Lois.
"No I mean the couple in the movie," asked Peter.
"Who cares?!?!" said Lois.
"Then why the hell did you make me spend 8 bucks on a movie you weren't even going to watch?" asked Peter.
"So we can spy on Meg and Zack," answered Lois.
"Oh, right."
About two hours later near the end of the movie the lead female is dying in a coma. The leaqd male comes in trying to tell her how he felt about her, but it is too late and she is gone. Zack and Meg are both crying.
"That was just so sad," said Zack as he sobbed.
"I remember being like that girl," said Meg, "Alone and unloved. I always thought that I would never find true love until the very last seconds of my life. Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me."
In the back rows, Lois had heard this.
"I can't break them up," said Lois, "Zack may be her only chancce for true love or else she might become lonely forever. Let's go, Peter. Umm, Peter?"
"This is just so sad!" sobbed Peter.
"Come on! Peter," said Lois as she dragged Peter from out of the theatre.
Later at the Griffin house, Zack and Meg walked into the living where Lois and Peter were.
"Hi, you two," said Lois, "So what took you so long?"
"We were just at the mall," said Meg as she looked at Zack and smiled, "And nowhere else."
"You two don't have to lie to us," said Lois, "You were at the movies."
"Uh oh," said Zack, "Listen, Lois, we weren't trying to..."
"Look, it's okay, Zack," said Lois, "I understand that you two are in love. You two just want to start a harmless relationship, but your age differences will make it hard. That's why I want to help keep it a secret."
"Thank you, mom," said Lois, "And what does dad think?"
"Well he said-"
"I said it was sick and wrong, but I promised your mother I wouldn't do jack squat about it," said Peter.
"But Peter, didn't you say-?" asked Lois.
"Ixnay, Lois." said Peter, "Anyway, I wonder how Brian, Stewie, and Chris are?"
They then walked up to Stewie's room where they saw Stewie, Chris and Brian playing strip poker. Chris and Stewie are in their underwear, while Brian isn't since he's always naked.
"Holy Crap! Why the hell are you guys playing strip poker?!?!" asked Peter.
"It's a long story," said Chris.
End Chapter.