Hi guys sorry for making you wait but I'm back. Thank you for the reviews, reading my story, the favorites and the followers. The chapter seven is here... finally. Self harming "TRIGGER WARNING"
The sisters stared anxiously at the maid as she tries to find the proper words to tell them what she was about to say.
'' Gerda what about Kai? what is wrong, is he okay? '' Anna pressed.
'' Anna will you just shut up and let her speak? '' Elsa sighed in frustration.
'' After a meeting, your parents decided to explore the ocean of the caribeens with a group of tourists but there was a s-storm and... ''
'' And what? ''
'' Their craft was found empty. ''
'' Wh- what? '' Again, Anna couldn't help but ask. Elsa didn't scold her this time, too busy trying to convince herself that nothing bad happened to their parents.
'' Gerda what do you mean by empty? Where were our parents then? ''
'' It's been two days since the researches started and Kai didn't call not to worry us but the patrol said that there's ninety five percent of chance that your parents, along with the thirteen other tourists didn't survive. '' Gerda said the last part with a shaky voice.
'' You mean they are lost? ''
'' No darling. '' Gerda told Anna.
'' Then you mean... '' The girl trailed off.
'' Dead. '' Gerda nodded her head sadly.
DEAD...
The word echoed in their head over and over again. Anna stared at Gerda, mouth agape as tears started to blind her vision. DEAD. Their are dead.
Gerda pulled the girl into her arms and whispered '' I'm sorry for your lost '' This simple gesture was enough to make Anna burst to tears. '' I know sweetie, I know. ''
'' Wh-hy? ''
'' I don't have the answer to that but you must know that now you have two angels to watch over you. ''
'' NO! '' Elsa snapped, standing from the armchair and started pacing '' They can't be dead. It's not true, they can't be dead ''
Anna looked at her sister tearfully as Gerda gently pulled away and stood up as well to calm the young woman down '' Miss Elsa, I'm sorry but it's tru- ''
'' NO! '' The blonde shook her head furiously, startling both the servant and her sister who was sobbing helplessly now '' It can't be true, they're not dead. How dare they? They are our parents, they can't do this to us. They can't leave us. ''
'' Oh dear, I know it's hard but you have to be strong. For you and your sister. You are her only familly now and we will always be there to help you get through this ''
Anna. Elsa thought.
If her parents were really dead, what about Anna? She is still a child, does that mean that she will have take over her parents' role? She didn't sign for this, why her? And then there is the company, the worst. Why? Why did they die? Why now?
'' I can't do this '' Elsa said shaking her head.
'' Elsie. '' Anna reached out to her but Elsa kept shaking her head.
'' I- I have to go. '' With that, the blonde backed away and darted out of the house, leaving her sister crying and a sad looking Gerda.
For the next two days, Elsa busied herself between paperworks and lawyers to avoid thinking too much about her parents. She arranged everything for the company and Anna's custody before the funeral that took place in the garden of the chapel their parents built a few years ago. It was a private ceremony where only a few people close to the family were allowed to attend.
Elsa sat next to her sister who was leaning into Kristoff's chest, the girl's eyes reflecting the nothingness as she stared at their parents' pictures blankly. Strangely she wished she could take Anna in her arms to take her pain away but she stayed still instead. This is why she was grateful to have Kristoff to give Anna some comfort... something she couldn't find the strenght in her to do yet.
The rest of the funeral was a blur and before they knew it, it was finally time to leave.
'' Anna I'm deeply sorry for your lost. Your parents were two amazing people who changed so many lives. '' Ariel's father said as he stood with his two daughters.
'' They will be missed. '' Harmony nodded.
Anna, who was no longer in Kristoff'sd arms, stood for what feels like hours with her hands tightly clasped in front of her over the soft material of her black dress.
'' Thank you. '' she smiled but Ariel saw right through it. She brought Anna into a hug and squeezed her lightly.
'' I love you munchkin. '' She whispered and managed to get a small giggle from her friend.
'' I'm not a munchkin. ''
Ariel finally pulled away and smiled. '' I love you too would have been enough. ''
'' I love you too Red. '' Anna replied, giving Ariel one last hug before she left with her father and siste.
Kristoff, Sven and Bulda said their goodbyes making her know that she was welcomed at their house anytime, although she already knows that. Even her favorite history teacher, Mr Pabbie came. Rapunzel and Flynn were finally the next in the line and also the last.
'' Hey Anna pie '' Rapunzel cupped her face between her hands, smiling sadly down at the girl. She could tell that the ginger girl was exhausted despite her small smile. Poor girl '' You know that whenever you need me, I'm here right? ''
'' Yes cutie '' Flynn nodded reaching a hand out to mess with her hair a bit, hoping to light up her mood even if it didn't seem right at the moment '' You have all your friends. You can always count on us. ''
Anna nodded allowing herself to be hugged by the couple. '' Thank you, it means a lot to me '' she whispered pulling away.
'' Anytime '' Rapunzel replied before looking over to where Elsa stood, listening to other people's condolences. It felt so wrong, Elsa should be standing with her sister and grieve with her.
'' It's okay Punzie '' She heard Anna say as if she knew what the brunette was thinking. '' Elsa is trying to deal with the lost of our parents her own way ''
'' It doesn't change the fact that you need her too ''
'' She needs me more '' The girl sighed, glancing at her sister '' Elsa suddenly has a lot of things dumped on her shoulders, she is dealing with the lost the best she can. ''
Rapunzel smiled at her and kissd her cheek '' You're a good little sister '' she said before taking her boyfriend's hand and walked away.
Anna watched them leave for a moment and whispered '' I'm trying to be. '' Her gaze finally went to the two tall stonegraves of her parents that towered over her like shadows, though she knew they weren't burried underneath them.
Still... they are gone.
she would never hear them watching a movie late at night. Never hear her mother's giggling when she was being kissed by her husband affectionately. Never find her at her vanity as she gets ready for the day. Never hear the playful bickering their parents did over the tiniest things. They were really something.
But now they were just gone.
'' Miss. Anna '' Kai's soft voice was heard from behind her as a hand fount its' way to rest on her shoulder. '' Your sister is waiting in the car '' He announced.
The girl breathed out shakily, staring a minute at the graves where a tons of red roses laid on the ground.
'' Goodbye mommy, goodbye daddy '' she whispered, kissing her right hand and placed it on her mother's grave. She did the same to her father's. '' I love hou both. May you watch over us, till we meet again. ''
Kai smiled sadly at the one he considered the little princess of the Arendelle family. He too, lost his parents at a young age and he knew what it was like to lose the ones you love dearly. But instead of crying over it like he did maybe three decades ago, Anna is trying to stay strong for her sister and he admired her for that.
'' Alright, let's go Kai '' She nodded at him as he leads the way towards the black limousine. Two cops cars would escort them back to the mansion to assure their security. The Arendelle family was well known and a lot of people tried to sneak in the chapel to attend the funeral, so he insisted on having cops just in case.
'' There you go '' He opened her door.
'' Thank you '' She replied climbing in the back of the limo. Kai closed her door and told the cops that they're ready to go back to the mansion before climbing on the front with the driver.
The sisters stayed silent as their ride started to move. Elsa was wearing a black dress that looks a lot like Anna's. Only Anna's sleeves were longer and she Elsa wore gloves. Her face showed no emotion, her eyes only reflected a void and her posture was straight just like always. Unlike Anna her face wasn't stained with dry tears, even now she looked regal.
'' Elsa '' The girl spoke breaking the silence. She didn't like the uncomfortable tension clouding over their head '' Elsa '' She tried again when the blonde didn't answer '' Please talk to me, we haven't talked much since Gerda told us. You've been silent for two days, talk to me... ''
'' To say what? '' Elsa replied coldly with a scowl on her face '' What am I supposed to say Anna? They are dead and that's it, whatever comes out of my mouth won't bring them back. ''
'' I know. ''
'' So what's the point in talking? I just enjoy the silence for now, so quit it. '' She snapped at her little sister.
Elsa felt betrayed. Betrayed by their parents for leaving her and Anna. For being so selfish to die on them leaving all the responsability on their oldest daughter. She was only twenty one and now she was the new Matriarch of the family. A role she wasn't ready to assume yet.
'' I know you're suffering but I am too. I know how you feel- ''
'' Do you? '' Elsa quirked an eyebrow '' You don't have to worry about anything, you're still a kid. You don't have to worry about being the new CEO of the company, at least not yet. You don't have to worry about perpetuating what our parents made. I wasn't ready for this, so you don't understand. ''
'' Nobody is ready for something like this, you can't never expect something like this. '' Anna said, though her voice was still very soft '' I might be a kid but I understand and I'm here for you. ''
'' It's easy to say, why would you be there for me? I wasn't even there for you all these years. So why do you insist on being there for me? It's ridiculous ''
Anna sighed '' You're my sister and I love you. I don't need more reasons, do I? ''
'' This is not how it works. ''
'' And why not? I want to be there for you, I want to help you get through this. I want you to be happy. Why is it so hard for you to accept it? ''
'' You want me to be happy? Stop talking and leave me alone!''
Anna shook her head lightly sniffling and wiped a single tear that flowed down her right cheek with her sleeve.
'' I'm sorry. '' she whispered staring down at her lap.
Elsa huffed, running a hand through her hair as the limo stopped. Neither of them noticed that they arrived at the mansion until now '' Damn it. '' Elsa hissed, climbing out of the car before Kai or the driver could open the door for her and stormed into the house.
Anna climbed out too and slowly made her way towards where her sister went. As she slipped through the double doors of the mansion, she heard a door slamming upstairs.
Gerda stood in the sitting room at the bottom of the spiral staircase. '' Hello dear '' The maid greeted the girl smiling sadly at her '' Did you have another argument? '' she asked even though she had an idea of what the answer would be.
'' Yes '' Anna nodded looking up the stairs as if she could imagine Elsa storming up to her room. '' She won't talk to me, I don't know what to do. I'm worried about her. ''
The woman felt bad for the girl, she was trying to be strong for her big sister even when Elsa was pushing her away. '' How are you doing dear? ''
'' Me? '' Anna blinked. What about her? She was so focused on Elsa that she didn't think about her at all. '' I've been better, I think I'll be fine. '' she replied dumbly.
'' Are you sure? '' Gerda asked, feeling concerned from the moment the girl hesitated to answer. It looked like the she wasn't even sure of the answer herself.
'' Yeah. '' she said sounding a bit evasive.
'' I think you should get some sleep, '' Gerda suggested '' you look tired ''
'' I will. '' She agreed rubbing her face and made her way up to her own room. She decided to change into something more comfortable. Dumping her dress on her bed, she grabbed a yoga pants and a Reindeers sweatshirt Sven gave to her.
As she laid down on her bed, the two sleepless nights she spent caught up with her and she was knocked out with one las thought to her parents.
'' Anna sweetie, why are you crying '' Idun asked her three year old daughter.
With her husband, they took their daughters to the zoo but they only turned their back for one second or two and the little princess was laying flatly on the ground crying.
'' Aw what happened booboo '' Agdar picked his little girl up and kissed her head.
'' Owie daddy '' Anna wailed into her father's chest.
'' What happened baby? '' Elsa asked confused as to why her baby sister was crying. She was fine a minute ago.
'' He pushed baby Ah-na '' Her little sister pulled away from their father enough to point a boy a few feet away from them with his friends.
Elsa frowned upset with the boy. Who does he think he is to hurt her sister like that. She wasn't happy at all and pushing Anna is NOT okay!
'' You've got an owie? '' Idun coed lovingly earning a nod from her youngest who pointed at her scratched knee '' Aw my poor baby '' she rubbed her daughter's back.
'' Mommy hurts '' The girl hiccuped, her chubby cheeks covered with shushed her while bouncing her on his hip.
Idun looked through her purse for the baby wipes she always carry with her. You never know what could happen with their daughters.
'' Mommy will clean your knee up, okay sweetie? ''
The girl whimpered shaking her head. She knew it will hurts '' Nooo mommy I no like it ''
'' I know babygirl but I have to clean it up so it you will be all good '' Idun tried to assure her little girl.
'' There, there '' Her husband sat down on the nearest bench with Anna on his lap.
'' You'll be okay snowflake '' Elsa stroked her sister's hair.
''Owie '' She sniffled hiding her face into Agdar's shirt as he held her tightly against his chest when Idun started to clean her injured knee. He felt his daughter tense, a few whimpers escaping her lips.
'' It's okay princess, such a good girl '' He whispered.
'' Elsie '' The girl cried when the cold baby wipe touched her skin.
'' I'm here baby '' Her big sister said softly kissing Anna's forehead '' Elsie is here ''
'' See? '' Idun smiled '' all done. Mommy is so proud of you ''
'' Done? ''
'' Yes, you are such a good girl '' she nodded stroking her knee '' Want me to kiss it better? ''
'' Uh huh ''
'' Alright, there you go '' The woman leaned in and kissed her daughter's clean knee earning a cute giggle from the girl. Agdar finally sets her on her feet as Elsa took her small hand in hers.
'' You okay now? ''
'' Mhmm '' Anna smiled at her big sister, feeling better already.
Elsa smiled back and looked up at their parents '' Papa can we go buy a stuff bear over there? ''
Idun and Agdar glanced over at the souvenir shop and smirked, knowing it was more for Anna the gilr asked knowing the little girl wanted the big plush in the shop which was a white polar bear.
'' Alright '' Agdat replied '' let's go ''
The family walked into the shop and Elsa spotted the boy who has pushed Anna earlier. With a smirk, without her parents' notice, she made her way towards him.
Anna jumped happilly when her dad placed her the big plush in her arms. Idun turned around to ask her eldest which stuff she wished to have, only to find her gone.
'' Elsa sweetheart, where are you? '' She called out scanning the shop.
'' What's the matter? '' Agdar asked seeing his wife's worried look.
'' Elsa is gone ''
Suddenly, a loud cry caught their attention and they saw the boy from earlier wailing from the corner of the shop. It looked like a few toys fell from a shelf and directly onto his head.
'' Elsie! '' Anna squealed when she spotted her big sister walking towards them with a grin on her face.
'' I'm here '' She scooped Anna up in her arms squeezing the bear between them and nuzzled her face.
'' Honey where have you been ? '' Idun asked.
The blonde shrugged simply glancing brielfy over the crying boy and said '' Got to take care of something '' She winked at Anna.
'' Eh...'' Agdar looked at his wife who raised a brow at their daughter.
'' Elsa, did you do this? '' she asked suspisciously.
'' What? '' the girl asked innocently, placing her sister back on her feet. Though her mother knew she was not that innocent.
'' Elsa '' Idun used her warning tone which had no effect on her dauhter at all.
'' No one mess with my baby sister '' came the answer and Elsa didn't feel guilty. Not when the boy deserved it.
'' That's my girls '' Agdar laughed picking Elsa up with a twirl and puts her on his shoulder. Idun rolled her eyes at her husband and scooped Anna up in her arms as well as tey walked out of the shop but not before she glanced at the little boy to see if he was okay.
'' Mama, can we have ice cream? '' The blonde asked. Idun was about to say that Elsa wasn't going to have any ice cream soon because of what she did but Agdar beat her to it.
'' Ice cream that is, race you to the cart '' He told his wife darting towards the ice cream cart with Elsa giggling happily as she bounced up and down on his shoulders.
Idun facepalmed '' I wonder if I'm not raising three kids instead of two '' she shook her head in frustration.
'' Mommy ice cweam! '' The girl in her arms whined.
'' Okay, okay... we're going babygirl '' She kissed her nose and joined her husband and other mishievous daughter. So much for an ice cream...
Anna's eyes snapped open as she found herself staring at the ceiling of her canopy bed. Frowning, she slowly pulled herself into a sitting position and looked around. She glanced at her phone on the nightstand, it was six in the evening already. She slept three hours.
'' It was a dream '' she whispered dissappointed to be back in the reality. A reality where her parents didn't live anymore. It was such a beautiful dream but also more than that, she realized. It was a memory of one of te best days of her life with her family.
Sighing she slipped out of the bed and walked out of her room and down the hall to her sister's. There was no light coming from underneath the door. She slowly raised her hand in front of her and took a deep breath.
Here we are again. She thought.
Knock... knock... knock-knock... knock.
'' Elsa '' she called softly waiting for an answer, though she wasn't surprised when she got none in return '' Elsa, please let me in ''
she waited... still no answer.
'' You know, I had a dream '' she continued leaning her back against the door and slided to the ground tucking her knees under her chin '' Well it was more like a memory. Do you remember when we went to the zoo in San Francisco? I remember when I scratched my knee because of that boy and then you and papa tried to calm me down while mama was cleaning my injurie. I'm sure you remember it too. I know you do ''
Anna stared at the pattern on the wall in front of her. She heard shuffling noises behind the door. She noticed there were always small noises all the times she came here before... as if Elsa was listening. At first she thought she was hallucinating but now she was sure it was not an hallucination.
Elsa was here... she always was.
'' You weren't happy with the boy and you made him cry because he made me cry too and you know what? I felt so proud to have you as my big sister and the years didn't didn't change anything. I miss my sister, now more than ever. Mama's not her to bring me back to health when I'm sick, papa's not here to carry me to bed when I pass out on the couch. It's just you and me. I miss you Elsie ''
'' Go away Anna! '' Came the sharp reply.
The strawberry blonde haired girl let out a sob as she burried her face in her knees. Why was Elsa rejecting her? Why? What has she done to deserve this? It hurts... so much more than a scratched knee.
Standing on her shaky legs, Anna ran back into her room slamming her door behind her and stumbled into her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, she was a mess. Now she was somewhat glad that Elsa didn't open her door because her hair looked like she got stuck in a hurricane, her face was all scrunched up and her eyes red and puffy. A real mess. Elsa would probably get scared and slam the door back in her face...
She splashed some water on her face and stared at the razor laying on the black marble counter next to the sink. It was taunting, she promised herself that she will never use it again but she remembers how it felt two days ago. The feeling of the blade piercing her skin was strangely soothing.
'' I can't '' she told herself shaking her head but her mind said otherwise.
She started to fill her tub and took off her clothes. Her fingers went to gently touch the fresh thin scars on her left arm, she did this to her skin. She didn't like it because she knew her parents wouldn't either and she hates herself for doing this but it felt so right. So... good. The temptation was too hard to resist.
Sighing she grabbed the cold razor blade '' I'm sorry '' she said to no one in particular and slided into the tub, A little scratch won't hurt.
That's what she tried to convince herself. Just a small cut...
This is how it starts. A small cut and then she won't do it again but who is she trying to fool? She had a feeling that it won't be the last time either but it doesn't matter, for now, a small cut would do. Or maybe two...
Unknown to Anna, back into Elsa's room, the blonde was also crying. Still in the same position she has been since Anna came to her a few minutes ago, sitting on the cold floor with her back against the door. Rejecting Anna was the hardest thing to do to be honest, she thought she would get used to it but she never did.
After the accident in the staircase six years ago, Elsa took the blame even if it wasn't truly her fault and she swore to never hurt her again even if it means pushing her away. What she failed to notice was the more she distanced herself to her baby sister, the more they were hurting.
They were both hurting...
And that was chapter 7, was it good or whatever? Please tell me what you think or if you have suggestions.
I know Elsa is acting cold and she might be for awhile. This chapter was darker than the others, I had trouble writing this one. And Anna... well let's just say she has her own way of dealing with her parents' lost and it's not about to get better soon but it eventually will. I promise.
Sorry for the wait again and see ya chapter 8. PEACE my lovely readers.