Author's Note: I am intrigued by the idea of the Omegaverse. Therefore, I will write a oneshot for it, in order to explore its mysteries.

Except I don't do ships. So this will be an Omegaverse AU without ships. Make sense? Nope! SCREW LOGIC, I'M AMERICAN! XD (That doesn't actually make much sense either (or maybe it DOES... O.o), but it goes with the theme of not making sense!) And the nations are still nations. Just saying.

Also, is it weird that I think "humourous" looks better than "humorous", but "humor" looks better than "humour"? Same with "utilize"... "utilize" over "utilise", but "utilising" over "utilizing". Not that I ever use the word "utilize". Ah, well. *shrug* Spellings are weird.

England and France make guest appearances, as well as some other random characters. But mainly England and France.

Oh, and I kinda borrowed a scene from Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji for the beginning of this. Please, get your minds out of the gutter. It is NOT semi-explicit yaoi, whatever you may think. You have been warned. :)

"Hah... hah... England... It hurts..."

"I know, America. Just a little more."

"It... Ah! Hah... It's not gonna fit! "

"It will, don't worry."

"Ah... ENGLAND! I'm gonna explode!"

"Shh... You're not going to explode. Just hang on a bit longer, it's almost over."

"Hah... Gah! IGGY! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"

Chapter 7: In which we get a glimpse of a really twisted view of the Omegaverse.

And get your head out of the gutter, already!

"Iggy..." America whimpered. "It's not fitting! Ah!"

"Sorry," England said, leaning over the younger nation on the bed to get a better angle. "I told you, it will fit, you just have to stop squirming!"

"GAH! IGGY!" America suddenly yelped.

"Oh. Sorry," England apologized, but kept going.

Finally, America couldn't take it any more. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN PUTTING A CORSET ON ME?!"

[Random A/N: See, I told you. I don't do semi-explicit yaoi. XD]

England shrugged, tightening the laces some more. "Because. You need to look the part. I wonder where you got omega tendencies, anyways."

"BECAUSE THE AUTHOR-"

"AMERICA! THE FOURTH WALL!"

"Oh. Sorry." America coughed, then tried again. "Because it's all your fault! Ow!"

"How is it my fault?" England said, amused. He quickly gave another jerk to the laces in his hands, then tied them off.

"AAAAAHH! IGGY!" America complained. England smiled.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Because I was your stupid colony, and colonies tend to be omegas!"

A small chuckle came from the doorway, and Canada emerged. "You got that right, Al. You were pretty stupid. In fact, I think you still are."

Now, normally, this would cause America to splutter in indignation and England to stare blank-eyed at the random person who looked so much like America, but today, both stared in astonishment.

"M-Mattie... W-What is t-that that you're w-wearing?" America practically squeaked at the end of his sentence.

"Ohonhonhon... do you like it, Amérique?"

America's jaw dropped. Canada blushed like crazy. And England? Well...

"BLOODY FROG! WHAT DID YOU DO TO CANADA? WHY WOULD YOU PUT HIM IN... IN... IN A DRESS?!"

"You're doing it to America, Angleterre," France pointed out.

America flinched. "What? Iggy? You were going to put me in a dress?"

"Of course, America. What did you think the corset was for? I put Canada in a similar one." France said, still calm.

Canada hid his face in his hands.

England heaved an exasperated sigh. "Let's just get you dressed, America."

Going over to the closet, he pulled out a blue dress in exactly the same cut as Canada's red one. "Come on, then."

America turned red. "N-No! I'm not putting that thing on! Mattie, how can you stand it?"

Canada blushed again. "I-It's not so bad, Al... And it's only for a bit... We'll get to change after the ceremony..."

"AFTER the ceremony? Oh jeez... The whole world will see me wearing this! How will I ever..." America fell back on the bed in defeat.

"Oh, belt up, America," England grumbled, lifting the superpowers limp arms and slipping the blue fabric over his head. "It's your nature. Now get over it."

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, IGGY!" America screamed, tugging down hard on the dress so it fell into place haphazardly. Then he crossed his arms and pouted.

"I agree with America," Canada spoke up. "Except it's also kind of France's fault."

France was shocked. "How could you say that, mon cher? You wound me!"

"Well, you two DID make us your colonies," Canada pointed out. "So since you caused this... It would only be fitting for us to cause something back, non?"

A wicked gleam appeared in both North Americans' eyes.

"Why do I get a bad feeling about this..." England murmured to his best friend/worst enemy/hated rival/childhood acquaintance. France merely shook a bit in fear.

"Aw, come on! Liechtenstein gets to wear pants!" America complained, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Brother dear, let her be. After all, she probably didn't choose her outfit."

"Very true. And Switzerland is Switzerland. With his not-lonely goldfish."

Canada chose not to comment on the random statement, humming in agreement instead. "And we've gotten our just revenge."

"Very, very true." The twins shared a look.

"ALRIGHT! EVERYONE GET INTO YOUR PLACES!" Germany finally yelled. Slowly, the chattering died down as each nation found the correct place to stand.

"Gut. Now, as I'm sure you already know, we have all developed certain "natures" due to the random decision of the author-"

"NO WEST! NOT THE FOURTH WALL! NOT AWESOME!" Prussia yelled.

"- right. Ahem. We have all developed certain "natures" due to random cosmic forces. So we will now conduct this ceremony to officially declare our natures."

Everyone looked around. After a somewhat long and awkward pause, Italy spoke up.

"Ve~! Doitsu, do you just want us to say what we are?"

"... Ja, that was the idea, Italien."

"OK! Then, me and fratello are both omegas, big brother Spain is an alpha, Austria is a beta, Hungary is an alpha-"

"That's enough, Veneziano! Let others speak for themselves!" Romano quickly interjected before Italy ran through every nation he knew.

"Ve... Mi dispiace, fratello..."

After that, the process went by relatively efficiently. Some natures were relatively predictable (Germany was alpha, Poland was beta, Latvia was omega), but some were surprising (Russia was beta, Liechtenstein too, and of course the North American brothers were omegas).

Then they got to France and England.

Everyone stared.

"We're alphas," France muttered, burying his head in his arms.

"Big brother France... what are you wearing?" Italy asked in half curiosity, half horror.

France just curled in on himself a bit more. Meanwhile, England was glaring at America, who, along with Canada, snickered.

"I think you look great, England!" the northern nation declared.

"You too, France," the southern added.

"Who?" Kumajirou muttered, but no one minded him.

"Sod off, you bloody gits," the island nation muttered, fingering the edge of his modified Britannia Angel costume.

Canada gasped in mock surprise. "Oh, America, catch me! I feel faint! England has wounded my poor little delicate omega soul!"

"Oh, Canada!" America breathed, playing along with his brother's antics. "What shall we do? All these big, scary, powerful alphas around! I'm at loss!"

France, in his very shaggy teddy bear costume, glared. "Shut up, America."

Russia started smiling creepily. "You will not insult my little omega friends, da? Alpha or no, I WILL make you one with me. Kolkolkol..."

France and England froze, eyes wide.

The North American brothers burst into laughter, practically falling on each other (and, in Canada's case, almost crushing Kuma). The rest of the world began to chuckle as well. "Ah, good one, Russia!"

"Spasibo. I try." Russia calmly resumed his normal expression. Which... wasn't that different from his threatening expression.

"Yeah, yeah, you've had your fun, now let us go change!" England finally was able to make himself heard over the laughter of the rest of the nations.

"I suppose that's OK now," Canada mused. America nodded.

"Right, Iggy, Francey-pants! Now that you've learned not to mess with us, let's go get comfortable!"

And so, the ceremony ended.

Author's Note: I told you it was weird... *sigh*.

Mi dispiace means I'm sorry in Italian, by the way. And the comment about goldfish and Switzerland is a reference to a law my friend (SeraSearaSpin) shared with me. It says that it's illegal to deprive goldfish of companions in Switzerland, so all goldfish bowls must have at least two fish. Speaking of Sera, you should go read our joint fic! It's called "Our Turbulent Sea of Peace". :) *cough*shamelessselfadvertising*cough*

Oh, and because I don't really like that ending, have an omake.

OMAKE!

"Hey, Mattie?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"... You know those dresses France and England got us?"

"What about them?"

"... I... Well, uh..."

"Spit it out already."

"I... I actually... kinda... liked wearing them..."

"Mmhmm."

"Wait. You agree with me?"

"Yeah. Wanna play dress-up?"

"... Do you know how strange that sounded? You're almost half a millennium old."

"Well, technically, I've been a nation for less than a hundred and fifty years."

"Mattie! That's not an excuse! And you're older than me!"

"Yeah, well, I still wanna play dress-up with my little brother. Anything wrong with that?"

"Hmm... Nope! Let's play!"

~5 minutes later~

"America, Canada, I- WHAT THE BLOODY-"

"Ohonhonhon... Looks like Amérique et Canada DO like our gifts~!"

"SHUT UP, FROG!"

Author's Note, Take 2: Oh, how I love the FACE family... :P

Hope you liked it!