"Okay."
The distance closed, our lips met.
The kiss started out sweet, and soft. Our lips brushed hesitantly against each other as we both were in uncharted waters. Moving closer to each other until there was barely any space, I placed my hand over his heart, feeling the erratic thrumming beneath the pads of my fingers. A smirk tugged at the corner of my lips as I felt just how flustered he was just by kissing me.
There was still that voice in the back of my head saying this was wrong, but that only seemed to fuel the excitement; the thrill of doing something so naughty. I finally noticed just how much bigger he is than me, feeling his hand slide along my waist to my back and running his fingers up and down my spine. I shivered at the contact, and I could feel him smile triumphantly into the kiss as his slender digits rippled over my rib cage. His head tilted, pressing his lips harder against mine to prolong the kiss. It didn't last long though, we had to pull away so we could catch our breath; and when we did, reality came crashing back down in the form of Fakir standing outside the class window looking straight at us.
"Oh shit."
I shoved Mytho away, not even pausing when he stumbled back. 'Crap, crap, crap! What was I thinking?' I dashed into the hall running right into Fakir.
"- Quak!"
"Please tell me I did not see what I think I saw!" he demanded
"I don't know-! I was just- and then this-! And, oh my god!" I babbled, my heart hammering in my chest. My brain was a frazzled mess from what just happened and what bad results were most likely to come. 'Oh god, Rue…' I raked a hand through my hair as Fakir stood livid in front of me.
"I can't believe you of all people would do something like this to Rue! You know how she feels about him!" he scolded. "What the hell, Sara? What were you thinking?"
"I don't know!" I pleaded "I wasn't! I don't know what I was doing, Fakir! It just sort of happened! It won't happen again!" tears sprung to my eyes, this was so, so, so bad! Fakir seemed to notice and paused, resting a hand on my shoulder before pulling me into a comforting, yet slightly awkward, hug.
"It doesn't matter if it won't happen again, it already happened once." Fakir sighed, his shoulders slumping as he said this. " You're going to need to tell Rue." he said solemnly, resting his heavy hands on my shoulders and forcing me to look up at him and those equally heavy, dark brown eyes.
"What?!" I cried out "Are you mad? She'll never speak to me again!" I said, jerking away tears now falling freely down my face. Fakir pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing as he looked down at me in his arms. God, one action that barely lasted a minute is already causing more grief than it was worth. Though, unfortunately, I knew Fakir was right. Not telling Rue, this little secret would fester and grow into something much more uglier the longer it went quiet.
I'm such an idiot. The worst kind of idiot.
"Sooner or later, this will get out. Don't you think it would be worse if Rue found out from someone who wasn't you? To find out a month or two down the road? Not only would it make you look so much guiltier, but her trust in you would be ruined. Along with your friendship. Do you really want that, Sara? Be rational!" It made sense; I just didn't want to be rational at the moment. I didn't want to be having this conversation- and with Fakir of all people! I wanted Duck to sympathize with me, to coddle me and to sugar coat this to make me feel better! But most of all, I wanted to pretend that I had never kissed Mytho!
.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Through some strange manner of events, Satchi lived.
Bruxa jumped down at the last second, breaking the contact Brancaneves had formed through the contact with the elf's shadow. Letting out a yelp, the young wiccan toppled to the ground as her familiar pinned her down, snarling in her face. "Bruxa!" the giant cat bared her teeth in response "You dislike shadow watching just as much as I, why would you sto- now don't give me that...!" Brancaneves whined, shoving Bruxa off her. From the corner she heard a snicker and looked up. That impudent little elf sat there on the ground quietly laughing at her!
Darkness seemed to pool around her as she stormed forwards, towering over him. A boiling rage simmering just below her lily white skin. Her tattered black dress hung like smokey cobwebs off her form as it rippled silently over the ground as she neared the elf. Raising one arm in a simple sweeping motion, she held it above him as if about to hex him. "How dare you mock me!" she seethed "I am a shadow wiccan, and a sister of the Rabe family! Conjoined with the magick of Darkness, we reside over the dead! You do not laugh in my face if you know what's good for you!" Satchi merely stared up at her with glassy green eyes, a stupid grin on his freckled face. "Yes, but" he began, ruffling his red hair with one dirk covered hand "you're still just a little girl." he teased. He was teasing her! "Let me guess, you're the youngest in the family, eh? Same as I, you got a lot of expectations to live up to but your parents keep belittling you." he was right, but that was irrelevant. "Don't compare yourself to me." she sneered "You and I are nothing alike! My father has me shadow watching because he trusts me! It's only a matter of time before I go on the hunt with him and my sister!" she said, not sure why she was defending herself against him... He put his hands up as as if to surrender. "Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist, now." he chided, pushing himself up off the ground "All I'm trying to say is that you and I? We'd get along." he stated, offering his hand. Confusion was clear in her violet eyes and Brancaneves looked between Satchi's face and his outstretched hand. He was a foolishly brave elf.
She had never had a friend before... there had only ever been Bruxa. Speaking of the familiar, Brancaneves looked around, spotting the panther sitting passively up a tree, stretched out along a thick tree branch. Her tail hanging down and swishing back lazily, Bruxa watched, curious to see what Brancaneves would do next. "I-" she faltered, losing her intimidating appearance to the elf Brancaneves wasn't sure what to do. "I..." she looked back to Satchi, her confused amethyst eyes meeting her welcoming emerald ones. Without speaking he leaned forwards and wrapped his arms around her. Next, Brancaneves could feel a set of warm, chapped lips brush against her pale cheek. What was this elf doing? ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Red faced and puffy eyed, I ran away from the school building. Leaving Fakir to deal with Mytho, I was outta there in a flash, completely forgetting about Duck. Besides, I was in no state to help mop up the floors. All I wanted to do was wallow in my own self pity.
Very quickly, I was dashing through the front gates as my feet carried me swiftly off the school grounds. Entering the town, I wove my way through alleyways and concession stands with practiced ease. Most of the townspeople were readying for the festival that night, setting up for the bonfire and adding any last minute preparations. So most weren't akin to notice if a crying girl dashed by, all of them were wrapped up in their own work.
My mind was a mess, I couldn't focus on one thought for very long as I slowly was drowning myself in regret for my actions and how they'd affect Rue. And then, oh, and then as if my memory was trying to really make me suffer, then I'd flash back to the moment. The feel of his warm lips on mine, how his hands felt, the feeling on being wrapped in his arms just was so right, that some part of me- probably the evil, sick, selfish, twisted part that didn't care for Rue's feelings- couldn't bring me to fully regret kissing Mytho. If something felt so right, how could it be totally wrong? Maybe this was a sign that Mytho and I would be better together than he and Rue were?
Wait, no no, what am I saying? Rue is my friend! My best friend! How could I possibly-? I was disgusted with myself, and then the regret came back and the cycle would start again.
My breath tore at my lungs, face flushed and body trembling from the exertion. But I didn't stop, not even when my vision swam and I was stumbling on trembling legs. Propelling down the cobble streets through pure velocity more than actually running. I didn't stop until I reached the outskirts of the town, the large stone wall that surrounded the entire place looming out in front of my as I got closer.
With a slam I ran into the stone wall, my fingers clutching at the mortar between the stones as my knees buckled under me. The running had been the only thing keeping me upright, and now, as I stood still, I crumbled down into a shaking pathetic mass. I drew in a ragged breath, choking on the air. Sweat glistened on my skin and I raised one red, shaking hand to push away my windswept chestnut brown hair, lifting it up off my neck to let the gentle breeze cool me off some.
God I felt like such an idiot and I knew I must look like one too. Curled up in a pile of shaking limbs at the foot of the eastern wall, next to the barn. Why did I even kiss him? It's not like I have feelings for him! Sure he's attractive, but he's prettier than me! I can't compete! I was just... I was just caught up in the moment, is all. Yeah.. and those, strange mem- no... they can't be memories, dreams then? Fantasies? What were they? They were so vivid and detailed... it was surly Mytho and... me?
I clutched at my head, groaning in confusion. Oh, none of this is making any sense! And all of it sucks! All over my body, I ached. My muscles were sore from running nearly clear across town, and when I slammed my body into the east wall. I was overcome with self pity, all I wanted to do was be alone and think about how unlucky I was.
I lay there, staring at the stones and the mortar holding the wall together for who knows how long, until the thoughts finally died away. Until I couldn't think of anything, just stare blankly at the cracks on the stones. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to feel. I didn't want anyone to disturb me in fear of breaking this fragile limbo I had going on. I didn't want to return to reality quite yet, I didn't want to deal with my problems. I wanted to be nothing, or at the very least, somebody else. A gypsy perhaps. Yeah, a gypsy.
In my minds eye I could imagine myself as a gypsy, a coin sash tied around my waist, my home: the open road. I could go wherever I wanted and do whatever I pleased and it would just be me and my rag tag team of friends. We'd take care of each other, we were a caravan. Sleeping out under the stars every night... around a bonfire, while someone played the music quietly...
Closing my red, puffy eyes I could so clearly see the caravan. An expanse of stars stretching out above me as I lay on the earthen floor. Most everyone was asleep, the only sounds being the fire crackling merrily at the heart of the camp at someone playing their fiddle quietly. A smile stretch across my lips as I imagined the music. It was old, filling anyone who heard it with a sense of nostalgia and the urge to run barefoot through the dark forest under the night sky but to also lay and stargaze all at once.
- but then, that's everything that a gypsy is anyways...
I had to fight back a new wave of tears that threatened to spring forwards as I was filled with an ache that weighed down in my core. I wanted that life. So badly. To spend every day surrounded by my friends, to be thicker than thieves. Closer than family. We took care of our own...
I'm not sure how long I lay there, curled up in a ball in a pile of hay at the base of the wall, until I finally noticed the sky darkening. Had I really been here for that long? Reasoning that I should probably head back to the campus I slowly heaved myself up off the ground. My limbs aching in protest at moving as I stumbled my way into a standing position. When I opened my eyes violet eyes again, the world seemed to be lacking in color. It wasn't the magical carefree life i had imagined for myself in my head. it was reality. And it sucked.
Slowly, I trudged my way back into town, dragging my feet and none too keen on returning to my normal life and all the problems that i had left there. Ugh. Just, ugh.
Unfortunately I had forgotten about the festival completely. And as I neared the center of the town I could hear the roar of music and laughter, the silhouettes of people dancing around the large bonfire flickered across the nearby buildings. With a pang I remembered Rue and Mytho. 'They're probably dancing out there right now, Rue fighting for the golden apple that will somehow prove that they're meant to be together forever.' I thought sullenly. My eyes roved over the dancing couples almost against my will. I really, really didn't want to see them dancing together- it would only solidify my own faults in my head and I didn't too much fancy seeing Rue, much less anyone be happily in love while I'm over here feeling so awful.
Yet, there they were. Twirling around the bonfire happily. Rue was garbed in a deep maroon dress with white trimming, her face lit up with a serene smile and this just made me feel worse. Rue really loved Mytho. I'd been friends with her long enough to know her and their relationship well. She had pined after him for years, clawing for his attention whenever he was in the room. He is all she's ever wanted, for him to love her as deeply and irrevocably as she has him for all these years. Who am I to get in the way of what she's been working towards? What kind of friend would I be to take away what makes her happy? Sure, she can act snooty at times, but, well, it's hard to say... there's a vulnerability in her and Mytho is like her security blanket.
Slumping against the side of the building, I dropped my head into my hands. Oh no, I really am a terrible person, aren't I? Fakir was right... he's always right, though... the little prat.