Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 6

I did not resurface for what seemed like days, even though I had slept for a little less than 12 hours. My body was trying to recover from the stress and trauma it had endured. At first, I thought it had all been a dream, but I realized my imagination was not that creative. The pain was too intense and real to be caused by fiction. I awoke to the sun late in the sky. My muscles were sore from being immobilized for so long. It was eerily quiet in the house. I welcomed the silence and normalcy of the day, even though my life was anything but normal. I forced myself to make an effort today. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I knew I needed to move forward because I could not move backwards. I was already pushed up against the wall. There was only one way to go.

I made my way downstairs. I grasped the railing, not wanting to fall. I aimlessly went through the kitchen looking for pop tarts. I really should have eaten something else, because I could not remember the last time I ate a full meal. My appetite had yet to reappear in my life. I put the pop tarts in the toaster and I moved over to the table. At the table, there was a note from Charlie.

Isabella,

I will be at work till 5. We will have a serious talk when I get home, and I mean it. You are grounded indefinitely, but I will go over that later. I expect the house to be clean, but take it easy today.

Charlie.

My head fell into my hands. I was in so much trouble. This was just one more thing to add to my stack pile. When would the pieces begin to fall? I shivered. My pop tarts decided to make an appearance, causing me to jump ten feet in the air. I cursed myself. I looked at them and threw them away. I could not bring myself to eat them.

I cleaned the house. Chores allowed me to lose myself in the work. It let me avoid the inevitable. I did the laundry, dishes, and cleaned all the rooms. The rooms would have been considered clean before I began. It was closing in on 4. I went into the living room and sat on the couch. I was going to allow myself to think about him, but Charlie arrived early. Here goes nothing. I opened the door to greet him. He smiled but pointed over to the kitchen table. I guess he wanted to do this sooner rather than later. I waited as he took his police gear off.

"Did you get my note?" He asked seeming not sure as to how to begin.

"Yes, I did," I said barely above over a whisper.

"Good, then you know where this is going to go," he said sternly finding his place.

"Dad, I am so sorry," I said, tearing up at the end.

"I know you are, but that does not excuse what you did. Bella, you disappeared for three days. Where were you? What were you thinking? Never do that to me again. Do you understand, Isabella Marie Swan?"

"It was all just a misunderstanding. Alice talked to Rosalie about my cliff diving and she called Edward. She made it sound like I had committed suicide. He decided to run away and I went to stop him."

"Were you trying to commit suicide?" He barely got the words out.

"No, of course not, it was for recreational purposes. It was… fun." I said lamely.

"Okay, I believe you; but you are stay away from him. He is not good for you." He said sternly.

"That is not for you to decide. I am 18 years old." I would not have him making my decisions for me. I would take my deserved punishments and restrictions, but I would not be bossed around. I was not a child.

"Excuse me, young lady. He is not allowed in this house. He will never step foot in here again, not while your under my roof. Do you understand?" He was beginning to get angry and so was I.

"You cannot control who I will and who I will not see. I will leave if I have to. Can we move on to my punishment, please?" I asked deciding I did not want to argue with my father.

"Fine, you are grounded indefinitely, as you already know. You are not to use the phone or internet, unless you are communicating with your mother or the school. You are to come home everyday, straight from school. You are not to leave the house. Your friends can come to you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." I said solemnly.

"Now, go to your room."

"Dad, I love you." I gave him a tight hug and made my way upstairs.

"I love you, but do not ever do that to me again."

I did not say anything because I knew I would break that promise. I would have to break all ties to my former life in the future. Even though it kills me, I know it has to be done soon. The Volturi do not offer second chances.

I went over to my bed, feeling exhausted from the talk with Charlie. I wanted to be numb. It did not make me happy, but it made the pain go away. I would feel nothing, but the numbness never came. Instead, I sat there getting frustrated with myself and with this whole situation. What was the problem?

I still needed answers but I wanted to find some on my own. Alice told me that Edward still loves me, and that he forever will. I know now that he does. His actions speak louder than his lies in the forest. I was blinded before by my insecurities and overwhelming pain. I thought back to that dreaded night in the forest; everything he did screamed he loved me. I can see the pain in his eyes, his defeated posture, and the way he lingered when he kissed my forehead goodbye. If I want this to work, then I need to be stronger. I used to think I was weak compared to him, but I was beginning to think otherwise. He may be able to lift a car over his head with his pinky, but emotionally he is more of a wreck than me. His hatred of himself binds him. He thinks he is a monster, but he is a man.

He is a man and he can make mistakes. I had seen him as a higher-being that could do no wrong. He was perfect. I think he did the same for me. I was his precious breakable doll. He protected me by putting me far away, himself being the main danger. We did not see each other as equals. I need him to treat me as his equal. I need to be consulted on things relating to me. The 'it was for your own good' bullshit can no longer be. I see it now as a lack of trust and superiority. I cannot blame him, because I let it happen. I stepped down and let him control the situations. In the process, I unknowingly lost myself.

The question is, how do we move on past this? Can we move forward? I need to talk to him. I was scared, because, what if I was only seeing what I wanted to see? If his love was true and he left again, it would kill me. Nothing would bring me back. Love, life, meaning would be no more. Bella Swan would cease to exist.

Truthfully, I do not even know what to say to him. Everything used to be so easy. Our love was pure and easy. Now it is convoluted and tarnished. A small part of me blames him for the loss of our innocence even though we are both culprits in this trial. I may be angry but neither of us can be found guilty nor innocent.

I continued to contemplate in winding circles till I heard a light tapping on my door. It startled me at first, but I could make out Alice's form. I motioned for her to come in but she would have come in either way. It is Alice.

"Hey, how are you? Your future is everywhere today," she said brightly, trying to get me to smile though her statement was full of concern.

"I will make it. I guess that is what counts. How was everyone after… well, you know, last night? What happened?" I said, simply trying to disguise my anxiety due to the situation.

"Things are chaotic. There is really no way to describe the emotions running through everyone. Jasper is having a hard time right now. Are you sure you want to know what happened? It is not a happy story," Alice spoke solemnly.

"Yes, I need to know. I am not a baby, so please do not treat me like one." Frustration filled me. I hated being left in the dark.

"I am sorry, that is not what I meant by that. It's just… you have been through so much. We have put you in enough pain. Okay?"

"You are forgiven of course. Now, what happened? What did he do?" She knew exactly who I was talking about.

Alice took a deep breath. I waited patiently knowing this was not a story she wanted to share or tell.

"After you went inside, Edward heard you break down. We all heard you. Emmett and Jasper held him in place away from you. Carlisle had to help to drag him to the car. His actions were belligerent. He continued to defy even Carlisle in the car. Edward thought it was Carlisle keeping you from him. His temper was rising, and he was yelling at Emmett and Jasper to let him go. Carlisle had had enough. Carlisle told him of the fact that you needed time and space. Edward needed to live with the decisions he had made." Alice stopped. She was seeing if I was alright. I wasn't, but she continued on when I nodded my head for her to continue.

"We made it to the house shortly after. Edward had been quiet, but brooding. He alternated between arguing and pleading with Carlisle. His temper was getting the better of him and in a few minutes he and Carlisle were shouting. None of us had ever seen Carlisle lose his temper, nor had we seen Edward defy him in such a way. Things were bad. Esme was crying and Jasper had to leave. Emmett did not seem to know what to feel."

"Carlisle tried to compromise with him, saying that if he hunted he might reconsider. Edward refused, saying he would not hunt when you were not feeding properly and he would not be away with the current circumstances. He continued to say that Carlisle did not have the right to keep his mate from him. Having had enough, Esme stepped in. She said all of us had lost our privilege to you, including him. Esme set him straight including the rest of us. Edward went up to his room. Carlisle reminded him that his offer still stood, but he simply nodded in acknowledgement. He cried for hours. His tearless sobs filled the void of silence in the house. He is still wallowing in his room. Carlisle and Esme are sitting quietly, unsure what to do. I decided to come over here to check on you when the emotional climate became too much for me. I do not know how Jasper deals with any of it. He feels everything," Alice ended sadly.

I was sobbing. This was my fault. I did this. Why could I not be stronger? Why did I have to be so weak? Alice held me through my tears. She did not say anything letting me get it all out. I do not know how long I cried. I lost track of time.

Alice broke the silence. "You will figure this out. You are the only one who can. You bind us all together; you are our missing link. Everything will work out. I do not need my visions to tell me that. You are the strongest out of all of us, even if you do not believe it. Now, get some sleep. It will help." She kissed me on the cheek and left.

I fell asleep knowing I could not sit and idle any longer. I had to talk to him. It was the only way. It was the needed step to move forward. I did not want to do it. It scared me to no end. My head was reeling while my heart soared at the prospect of seeing Edward again. I let myself fall into complete unconsciousness, letting my heart take advantage for a first in a really long time.

Authors Note: I can not believe I updated twice in one week. This probably will not happen often but then again I have no life jk yes i do but i like my fictional reality better. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ! It makes me obligated to write and it makes me giddy. Thanx for ready ~ hnnaus