Summary:

A prompt-fill giving us another perspective on the night that Alistair walked away from Cullen.
The request was for some Lana style repercussions as only a best friend can deliver.
(Originally titled - Alistair's a Dumb Ass) ;)

Notes:

A/N- This chapter will make more sense if you're following along with the main story Cocktails & Cheese. Specifically chapter 29.

All recognizable content belongs to Bioware/EA Games
All twisted perversions therein, are all on me ~ You're welcome!

The Wrath of Lana

In the Cocktails & Cheese Universe

(Takes place in tandem with Chapter 29)

It was just after midnight when he got close enough for me to feel again. A faint whisper against my mind, so familiar after all these years that I barely noticed it at first. As it drew closer, the self depreciating litany screamed louder than any words—Alistair was almost home.

The bar was pretty quiet for a Wednesday night-only two customers sitting at a table in the corner. I signaled for Leliana to replace me behind the bar so I could intercept Alistair before he retreated upstairs.

Standing in a dimly lit corner of the back room, I waited in the shadows. If I wasn't so upset, I might have chuckled at his overly cautious attempts at stealth.

He really should know better by now.

He let himself in and turned to close the door with barely a click. Just as he sighed in relief, I emerged from the shadows, surprising him. "Alistair Theirin, what the hell were you thinking?" Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed him by the ear and dragged him up the stairs. Being a foot shorter than he, I was less than careful at helping him keep his footing. If he banged his knees on the stairs as I hauled him up, I didn't care. He more than deserved it and-for once-I sure-as-hell wasn't about to heal him.

"Lana, let go!"

"No! If you behave like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum and breaking all your toys, then I'm going to treat you like one." Blasting through his door with enough force to loosen its hinges, I dragged him over to the couch and tossed him onto it. For a usually graceful martial artist, he landed in an uncoordinated, jumbled heap. His eyes red rimmed from crying and clothes sopping wet, he looked absolutely miserable.

Good!

"Leave me alone, Lana. I'm already beating myself up enough about this."

"You had one job, Alistair. One job! Don't hurt Cullen. And you just had to go and screw it up! You have no idea...None! The risk you've put him in! Do you want him to backslide? Was it your intention to undo the years of hard work and healing he's put into himself? He wanted to help you, Alistair. He was asking you what you needed, he wanted to know how he could best support you."

"But, I lied to him, Lana."

Exasperated, I smacked him in the back of the head. "Bullshit! You can't lie about something that hasn't come up yet. Did it look like the news of you having a son phased him in any way?"

Alistair shook his head.

"Did he appear disgusted or terrified by the fact that you're a father?"

Alistair shook his head again.

"No, he didn't. He took that information and fucking rolled with it and what did you do? You pushed him away." Yelling at him was getting us nowhere, I needed to calm down so I took a slow, deep breath. "You need to fix this, Alistair. For his sake and yours."

He hung his head, rubbing his hands down his face. "I'm so screwed up, Lana. How could he want me after this?"

"Why are you asking stupid questions? Embrace the fact that he loves you unconditionally and let him in. Text him, Alistair. Call him. Hell, go get him!"

"I… can't, Lana. I'm still wrapping my head around Morrigan being here. You say that he loves me unconditionally, then he'll be ok for a couple days while I get my head on straight."

"The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. You know that, right?"

"I know, Lana. Just give me another day or so."

She sighed heavily and plopped herself down on the couch next to Alistair. "You can be such a stubborn ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you still love me." Alistair removed his sopping shirt and grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch, wrapping it around his shoulders.

"I do. Creators help me, but I do." Lana looked down at her hands, picking at her nails, "I owe you an apology, you know."

Alistair rubbed the back of his head and his ear where she'd gripped him tightly. "For a tiny little thing, you sure are strong."

"Not for that, Alistair. For this whole mess-with Morrigan. If I didn't ask you to-"

"Then one or the other of us would be dead, Lana. You didn't force me into anything. I may not have participated enthusiastically, but I chose to be there."

"She wasn't supposed to come back. She-she said... it would be the last time we saw her. But then I felt her come into town this morning and it was like she was calling to me. Her fear and anguish was almost palpable. I can't imagine having children of my own and knowing that fear, intimately."

"I'm still having trouble imagining Morrigan having feelings at all."

"Alistair, stop." She playfully swatted his shoulder, then leaned into him when he raised his arm, draping the blanket around both of them.

"We are quite the pair aren't we?" He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "You know, if someone decided to write down our story one day, no one would ever believe it."

"Right? So, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I want to look into this whole Flemeth thing. See what we can find out and maybe help Morrigan indirectly, since she doesn't want us actively meddling."

"And what about Cullen?"

Alistair sighed heavily, "I… don't know, Lana. I fucked up. Until I figure out this thing with Morrigan, maybe it's best if I take a step back for awhile."

"What will that help?"

"With time, maybe he'll see that it's for the best too. Maybe he'll find someone better."

"You really are an idiot; you know that?"

Alistair shrugged, his heart aching. "An idiot who doesn't deserve someone like him." Alistair stood up, taking the blanket with him. "I need to go change, Lana. Then I need time. This whole thing with Morrigan isn't going to fix itself overnight."

"Are you going to call him?"

"Not tonight… maybe not tomorrow either. I don't know; we'll see."

"Beating yourself up isn't going to help anything, Ali."

He looked over his shoulder at Lana, "Some good advice. When you decide to start forgiving yourself, maybe I will as well."

Alistair retreated to his bedroom, Lana returned to the bar downstairs. Both of them despondent and unsettled, neither of them sure about how to fix the situation. Maybe Alistair was right; maybe some time would lend clarity. Or… maybe they were both fools.

End Notes:

Thank you to the ever diligent, Ponticle, who keeps my wordiness to a minimum and makes sure all of my i's are dotted and t's are crossed.