Author note: Happy holidays! With chapter six being Linc's last chapter, who do you want for chapters seven to ten? Whoever has their name in the reviews the most will be the winner.

Chapter Six

I'll be fine. Totally fine. Maybe Lincoln is out there somewhat and I just gave myself a ridiculous scare.

Yeah. Just cool your jets Linc.

Just cool your jets.

"Hey you okay?"

I jumped, nearly falling off the bed before L.J. grabbed my hand.

"Knock before you scare me like that!" I yelled, brushing myself off.

"I did. You didn't answer," L.J. retorted with a scowl. She paused, glaring at my cell phone ."You're hoping he's out there aren't you?"

"Yeah. Aren't you?"

"I did at one time before the medications. I was young and stupid then. Always thought he would come home. That was a damn lie."

"You were four L. J. You can't lose hope at that age," I muttered, gritting my teeth.

"I did about six months after he went missing. I lose my brother then a sister weeks afterward. I had to learn from then on that life would always and will suck," L. J. scoffed, turning off my cell phone. "Linc, I appreciate you wanting to help us but let's face the facts. My brother might be dead somewhere and just a couple of bones by now."

"What if he was alive? What would you do then?"

"Hug him. Tell him that we've missed him. You won't believe how many Christmases and birthdays he's missed."

"No. I couldn't," I muttered the softest I've ever been.

I couldn't imagine the pain and agony L.J. and her sisters have gone through for nine years. And maybe even more.

How fucking heartless can someone be by stripping away what memories any of them had of Lincoln left by taking him?

By taking m-me?

No. I couldn't tell L. J. yet.

In fact I couldn't tell the family at all. If I did, I wonder if they'd believe me

Probably not. I'll probably be the Anastasia of Royal Woods in their eyes.

"Hey don't sweat it. You tired. That's all that matters Linc," L. J. smiled a little. I guess she wasn't upset with me spacing out on her. "Still I appreciate it. Not one person has gone to the lengths you have."

"L. J. It's not even been that long."

"The ones that tried before were the bastard police and they failed. You tried yourself and unlike them, I'm not furious with you. I mean what a crazy story it would be that you were our brother all this time and we didn't know it?"

"Yeah. Totally crazy!" I laughed nervously.

This whole five stages of not spilling the truth of my real identity (as I was calling it) was gonna be harder than I thought it would be.

…

Champ.

There's nothing wrong with the nickname Mr. Loud gave me to make up for his Lincoln mishap. In fact I kinda like it. Pops never gave me one.

Well he called me kid. That never made sense. I still am a kid.

The man loved me I knew that much but sometimes I would eavesdrop whenever he thought that he and Mama were in private.

And he was furious with Mama. Always furious with her. Never with me. He would always ask why she didn't dye my hair or why we didn't move away from Michigan.

It was like he knew something that I didn't and took it to his grave.

Damn you Pops.

But I couldn't be upset with him. Not by a long shot. Yet I couldn't sleep. I barely had Mr. Loud's dinner which was surprising as I've been devouring all their meals since I arrived.

Which was why I was staring at the door to Mr. and Mrs. Loud's room. I was welcomed anytime I wanted and I needed to get what was bugging me off my chest.

But I didn't want to tell them that I looked up their son let alone found out that I might be him as I braced myself and knocked on the door.

"Linc? Is everything okay?" Mrs. Loud asked, opening the door and letting me inside.

I shook my head, biting my lip. I felt like my chest would explode if I didn't tell them. But I couldn't.

"We don't bite champ," Mr. Loud smirked playfully, making space for me on their bed. He noticed my face and smiled softly. "I'm serious. Whatever is talked about in here stays here."

"What if I was your son?" I blurted out before covering my mouth.

Their shocked looks kept me silent as Mrs. Loud gently took my hand. She could tell that I couldn't keep it inside me anymore like she understood me.

Mama never did.

"If you were Lincoln, champ, well I don't know how I would feel," Mr. Loud admitted. " You were raised differently from what we would've raised you to be. And if you were lucky, you could've been an older brother."

"I could've been a older brother?" I muttered softly, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Her name was Lucy. When you I mean he went missing, she died. She would be eight today if she hadn't."

I begun having another blurry memory again except none of the girls appeared. Just a circle and my chubby hand placed on it.

"Hi hi Lucy!"

Then another when Mama found me or supposedly she did.

"Where Lucy lady?"

And another one. Mama said that was about three weeks after she took me.

"I want Lucy! GIVE ME LUCY!"

I felt an attachment to Lucy somehow yet Mama just pushed it off and told Pops that she too, like Lori and L. J., was an imaginary friend.

I wanted to believe it like I usually would but now I couldn't. In pure humiliation on my part, I just sat there crying like a fool over a dead fetus.

Mr. and Mrs. Loud hugged me while rubbing my back and softly shushing me in their best attempt to console me.

In short me as their son was never brought up again that night.