Standard disclaimers applied. See Chapter 1 for further details.

Author's Note: Lyrics are from the song, "For You I Will," by Teddy Geiger, just borrowing a few lines. I don't own them.

CHAPTER 7 My Thoughts of You

When Georgia had asked him what he thought of Mei, Frederick Wentworth didn't think that his words would be repeated to the very subject of the conversation. What he meant was that Mei had undergone more of a physical change. If possible, she was thinner. Maybe it was the forest green colour dress that she was wearing, along with her customary gold Buddha chain which she said brought her luck. She looked like a piece of jade, pure and untainted. Finding her in the arms of another man and a doctor no less, had thrown him off.

Flashback

Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

Naturally, he had heard of An-Mei Lee from Fitz, who got the full description from Georgia. He wouldn't describe the first time that he saw her as love at first sight. He was coming out the classroom from across the hall and nearly bumped into her small frame when she brushed by him. She didn't notice because she was in such a hurry to get to her locker.

Of course, the door had given her trouble and he found himself grinning as she gave it a rather undignified kick. Here, she was in her jean skirt, lavender blouse and strappy sandals, knocking some sense into an uncooperative piece of metal. She didn't care for the fact that she was in a girly outfit or the fact that she looked downright adorable. She only knew that she was late for her next class.

He didn't get a chance to talk to her again until the end of the day, when he peeked in on swimming practice. Fitz was helping with the coaching and from the latest news from Georgia, Mei had been roped in to do part of the 400m Medley. When he emerged from the locker room, he had quickly spotted her in the stands. Wrapped in a towel, she had a look of concentration on her face - the same that he saw her when she was trying to get her locker door open. He wondered briefly if she was dedicated about everything that she did.

He surprised himself when he took a seat next to her and struck up a conversation. She seemed genuinely surprised that he knew her name and was left speechless when the practice ended as well as their conversation. He didn't know what it was but there was something about the Chinese girl that made him looked twice.

Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger

At first, he thought her to be shy. She did a funny thing with her fingers when she felt uncomfortable. Sometimes, her first two fingers would curl and twist around the gold pendant on her necklace. Other times, she would weave her pen in and out between her index and her middle finger and then loop it around her thumb. Then, as he began to be thrown into her company at every sports competition and swim meets, he knew different.

An-Mei Lee wasn't one of the girls who primped and pampered themselves in front of the mirror all day. Sure, she had a closet full of designer clothes, but whatever she put in, just seemed to fit. She had a girly style, simple but feminine. It was bonus that she didn't shy away from the occasional junk food like potato chips, french fries or the ball park wieners and say that she was on diet.

She was confident with her figure, liked she was in her ability to swim. It was no wonder that Lisa had wanted Mei on the team. Whereas some swimmers simply did it to reach the wall, Mei swam as if she was one with the water. Being an athlete himself, he understood the principle of concentration. All else disappeared, no distractions, no spectators. It became almost an out of body experience to extract yourself from all the pressures and anxieties in the environment and just focused on yourself.

Mei was her own worst critic, striving to reach some invisible high standard that she had set for herself. Once, he nearly walked into a conversation with her and her sister, Faye Ping on her cell phone. Though he only heard Mei's side of the conversation, he could undoubtedly guess what was being said.

"Faye, I do try but I don't think that I have to justify myself each and every time we have a conversation."

"I am not you, Faye."

"Yes, I am fine. Auntie is fine too. We ... yeah..."

Mei always take the words of her family to heart. Even Frederick himself could not stop her from pushing herself too hard, "Mei, you have to take care of yourself."

"Frederick, I know, but I have high expectations for myself. This is important to me."

The use of his full name stopped him momentarily, but he persisted, "But, you don't have to beat yourself up when you don't meet that high standard. I worry about you, Mei."

Her expression softened at the tender tone in his voice. She managed a weak smile when she said, "Ricker, I didn't know you care so much, but don't worry, I can take care of myself."

He didn't have the heart to say, "But, you don't have to take on everything by yourself, Mei."

Forgive if I studder
From all of the clutter in my head
'Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed

That one day after the basketball game, he felt protective when he realized that she was walking home by herself. If it was anybody else like Georgia, or Maria, he would given them a ride anyways. He was just that kind of guy. Then, it became a part of a routine.

Sure, he spent time with Fitz, Georgia and her friends and those on various sports teams. Mei would be there too. Sometimes, she would meet up with him as they both came out nearby classrooms. Other times, he would be close by her locker, so he would help her with the temperamental door. If she beat him to the cafeteria, then, he came to expect the napkins and plastic utensils that she got for him. These were placed alongside pieces of line paper and pen that he would undoubtedly need because he had procrastinated on his Spanish homework. Most important of all, he came to look forward to their car rides - one of the rare times where he was one on one with a girl.

During those drives home, they talked about anything and everything, even the mundane topics about the weather or stuff that happened at school. He told her about his dreams of one day making it big in the MLB or NBA. He was counting on a scholarship from some university to get him there. He was confident as there were already a few scouts that had expressed interests after a couple of his games.

She in turn, spoke passionately about wanting to see the sunset off the coast of Cyprus, or swim the seas of the Atlantic in the Caribbeans. She wanted to do research and get a PhD but was ambivalent about spending so many years in school.

Once in a while, she would tell about her family. He knew all about her Aunt and how Su Hin took on the care and raising of her niece. Yet he felt for Mei, when it came to her father and older sister. He didn't really understand the whole culture, but he understood from the perspective that there were different beliefs and values. Family was at the epicenter of the Chinese culture, but its members showed love and affection differently. Sometimes good intentions were made clear from physical actions rather than the actual words.

The dynamics were unlike his own. He had an older sister, Sophia. Even though she was three years older than him, she was already planning to marry her high school sweetheart, Stephen Croft. Sophia was willing to wait as her fiancee was going into the Army. She even applied and got accepted into a college that was near his base.

"So, what about you, 'Derick? What's your ideal girl?"

Derick - another thing that he had secretly smiled at. Nobody except her called him that. "Some one who has the passion for life, vivacious. She has to be loving, giving and able to brighten the room with a smile. She doesn't have to be prettiest or the tallest, smartest or richest. She just needs to be open about trying something new ..."

"She seems like the perfect girl."

"Oh she doesn't have to be ..."

She was silent at this and stared out the front windows with same determination that he associated with her the first time that he saw her. There was a slight hardening in the eyes, the thrust in her jaw and her fingers weaving through her necklace. She put weight onto his statement, just as she did with other aspects of her life.

"I suppose that I should have accepted the gallantry from you, 'Derick. You're right about not achieving perfection with a single person. I believe that we are meant to love and be love. If and when we find that person who can bring us happiness and fulfillment, then it is heaven. All I need from the ideal guy is someone is sensitive and kind and who will accept me for me - Chinese and all."

Tapping her temple and then her chest with her index finger, she emphasized, "It's all about what's up in the brain and in the heart. I don't care for how he looks."

With that declaration, Frederick Wentworth came to the conclusion that he was in love with An-Mei Lee, 5'4, with glasses, a great swimmer, Chinese and all.

End Flashback

During the various presentations put on by various guest speakers and delegates, Frederick found himself contemplating about Dr. Vincent Li. He would admit it to himself that he had been speechless at seeing Ann tonight. The initial surprise was replaced by indignation and slight anger, because it seemed that she was completely composed and totally unaffected by the encounter. He wanted to look into her eyes but she was effortlessly avoiding him, so he had to be content with seeing the top of her head, even as she was being led away by the man who had captured her attentions this night.

-o-o-

"So, tell me what you have been up to for the last eight years," Ann managed to ask Georgia when they took seats at an empty table.

"Oh, it seems so long ago that we were juniors at Upper Cross," the blonde paused in thought. Ann could not blame her. The reason that Georgia finished her senior year elsewhere was a painful subject for her as well.

"I ended up going to New York. Will was already there doing his undergrad. I didn't want to leave my aunt and uncle, but Fitz was leaving in September as well. Anyways, I finished my senior year and ended up applying to Juilliard for music. I didn't think I could get in, because it was so competitive. I was on the waiting lists and got accept to others when I received their letter. They wanted to give me a few auditions and before I knew it, they were shaking my hand. Will was so proud. It's been hard on him, but I'm glad that the news made him so happy."

Ann nodded. She knew the Darcys had suffered a tragedy when their parents were killed in a car accident, leaving an seventeen year old William and twelve year old Georgia. The two siblings were sent off to live with the Fitzwilliams. When Will had to go off to university, it was Fitz who promised to take care of Georgia.

"So what are you doing right now, Georgia?"

"Well, I got a position playing for the New York Philharmonic."

"Wow, that's great, you always had so much potential! So, what brings you here to New Jersey?"

"The symphony is in its off season right now. I came down to surprise Will and Fitz. They had been down right secretive about their new software project, plus they have their plates full with some legal case that they were working on."

"And Frederick?" Ann could not help but ask.

"Oh, that's just a coincidence. He and Sophia got tickets to hear the symphony at Avery Fisher Hall. Frederick saw my name on the program and came to say hi afterwards. We just started talking because he lost touch with everybody after graduating from Upper Cross. Before we knew it, we found out that we are in fact going to New Jersey, so we made the trip together."

Ann nodded at Georgia's account, all the while, she thought, 'It's too late, An-Mei. It's has been over eight years already. Of course, he will move on and Georgia Darcy, well, she is more than worthy of his affections.'

She observed the way that the blonde used her hands to emphasize a point or the way that Frederick went out of his way to accompany Georgia.

"Oh Mei, it is so good to have everyone together again," Georgia gushed.

"Yeah," Ann answered weakly. It was clear that she and Frederick would be thrown into each other's company whether she wanted to or not.

End of Chapter 7