Chapter 7
It was a dark and testy night. It was dark for the usual reasons, and it was testy because Marguerite Blakeney was reading a letter from her husband. It made her mad. (very mad) It was a weird situation that should never have included Tony Dewhurst, but this time, it did.
The letter said -
My dearest M'deah,
I'm going back to France now because I love mortal danger and all that, what, and also because Tony's beloved bride has been kidnapped by Chambertin and some other bad Snooping French Guy. (by the way. . . why do all the bad guys come from your country? . . .) But anyway, I must save the day, of course, and rescue the damsel in distress.
Believe it or not, I love you just as much as ever,
PB
(And that doesn't stand for peanut butter, and you are going to stop teasing me about sticking to the roof of your mouth, or I'm not going to rescue you next time!)
P.S. Please try not to get into any distress while I'm gone - saving two damsels at once is really tough.
It was exactly this kind of letter that made Marguerite want to smack her husband. (and not playfully on the tush - which was usually how she wanted to smack him)
Marguerite Blakeney (yelling) Armand!!!!!
Armand St. Just (appearing out of thin air) "Yes, my darling beloved sister?"
Marguerite Blakeney (yelling) Percy's at it again!!!!!
Armand St. Just (raising eyebrows) "So, what do you need me for?"
Marguerite Blakeney You're someone I can fuss at for a bit.
Armand St. Just "Ok, just a minute, let me get properly testy. . ."
(adjusts face)
(Aside) Armand St. Just was not an aristo, but he was uncommonly good at being testy. Whenever any member of the League wanted to brush up on being testy they just went to see St. Just and did what he did. He was rather a nice resource (which was why the rest of the League tolerated him) (End of Aside)
Marguerite Blakeney (whining) "Why would a happily married man go into danger, mud and almost certain death when he his so very happily married to ME?"
Armand St. Just (shrugging) "Um. . . . . ."
Marguerite Blakeney (whining) "I mean, he couldn't possibly be bored or anything. . ."
Armand St. Just (shrugging) "Well, saving aristos is good exercise, you know.
Marguerite Blakeney (taps chin with fingertip) "Hmmmm. I wonder how two married people could use lace and mud to exercise. . ."
Armand St. Just (squealing) "Eww! Mental picture! Don't DO that!"
Marguerite Blakeney "Why not?"
Armand St. Just (squealing) "Because you know how sensitive I am!"
Marguerite Blakeney (plants fists on hips) "Oh, get over it. You are French after all!"
Armand St. Just (continues to squeal) "But, you are too! That makes it worse."
Marguerite Blakeney "Yes. That's the whole idea." (walks haughtily across the room)
Armand St. Just (pressing hands to forehead) "I'm going to go drink until I can't remember this conversation. . ."
Marguerite Blakeney (shrugging) "Have fun."
Armand St. Just "Do you at least feel better, petit maman?
Marguerite Blakeney "I'll feel better when I can slam a door in someone's face. . ."
Armand slowly backed away from his sister and ran to find the eau de vie.