A/N: Sorry it's been a while since I updated I've been busy and tired.

I love this quote, and I love Blackpool (David Tennant singing! If you haven't watched it go watch.) – which I don't own, and I don't own Doctor Who.

Enjoy.

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"Could I – hold your hand?" – D.I. Carlisle/David Tennant, Blackpool

Walking through a bustling market place, full of aliens, on a distant planet, with absolutely no invading hoards or psychopathic maniacs shouldn't have been too hard, but the Doctor seemed to suffer some confusion.

To Ella Marlowe's relatively uninitiated eyes the place was a wonder. She had not yet been travelling with the Doctor long and the aliens she had so far encountered were ones they had been fighting. Now, once she had recovered from the shock of seeing so many different species in the same place, she was at leisure to study them more carefully and was amazed by what she saw. Even when the endlessly moving crowds began to pall slightly she could switch her attention to the things that were being bought and sold.

Though Ella marvelled at what she could see, the Doctor, who had visited many markets and many planets, was more interested in watching her reactions flit across her face. He was distracted once or twice by particularly interesting or rare trinkets but her fascination was more enjoyable to look at.

He was keen to show her more and more, desperate for her to appreciate and share his love for the things and people. He would unthinkingly grasp her hand to drag her towards another stall and just as abruptly separate their fingers as if suddenly realising what it was he was doing, trying to cover it up by babbling about what he had spotted or anything and everything that occurred to him.

It was too much to expect that Ella would not notice his actions and confusion. The first couple of times she tried to attribute it to a sudden movement of the crowd or the Doctor's impatience. On the fifth or sixth occasion she was forced to admit that there was something deeper behind it. They had held hands before but it had been while they were running for their lives or jumping off buildings. This was a much more casual, intimate situation to be holding hands in and it appeared the Doctor was uneasy about doing it under these conditions and confused by his own basic wish to do so.

It was months and months later that Ella finally understood the reasons behind these circuitous and torturous internal battles the Doctor suffered. She had learned how alone he was, the loneliness that threatened to engulf him, how afraid he was to let anyone grow close to him, the deep guilt he carried for all those he'd lost.

She had heard how he had left Sarah Jane Smith for her own safety and found out how it still tortured him that circumstances outside his control had forced that action.

She had been told how Rose Tyler had been taken from him and seen his grief. How hard it was for him that they still had unfinished business and unfinished words. How hard he tried to lead the fantastic life he'd once made her promise to strive for and was sure she was striving for even now.

She was friends with Captain Jack Harkness and had learned of the times he and the Doctor had said goodbye, had been there for some of them. She'd seen how much it hurt the Doctor every time Jack chose Torchwood and his team over travelling with him.

She had met and liked Martha Jones, Doctor Martha Jones, and had talked about the year that never was and seen the pride shining in the Doctor's eyes for that and so many other things Martha had achieved. She'd also seen the sadness and slight jealousy that the Doctor felt as they waved goodbye to happy Martha leaving with Doctor Thomas Milligan into a life the Doctor could never lead.

Ella saw all this and much more and she understood. She tried everyday to show the Doctor she was there, to try and make him feel less alone, less afraid, less guilty.

Now he was quite happy to hold her hand in any situation. Whether they were running for their lives or wandering down a street, visiting her parents or standing on top of the Eiffel Tower, where Ella was attacked by a sudden sense of vertigo.

Holding hands was important to him, a sort of commitment, and being able to do it without doubt or second thought made him more complete and more content.

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A/N: I think I might have mixed up some tenses in this so I'm terribly sorry, let me know if you spot any and I'll try and fix them.

Hope you liked it, I'm quite fond of the ending myself.

Please review xxxxx