I'd written into the story of the movie for a few chapters, when I looked back and decided to add in this little bit here. It's shorter than normal, but I thought that it deserved its own chapter because of its content. Hope you enjoy! :)

P.S. If you aren't logged in and you ask a question, I CAN'T ANSWER YOU. But if I find your question worth answering, I'll go and leave a review on the chapter, so you can go and look for that. There's no other way to answer without inconveniencing others, so if it's really important to you, read the reviews and mine might be in there - or just make it easier for everyone and log in and I can just answer you in a PM. Just saying. :/

...

It was the final step, the last thing to tick off on Danny's subconscious checklist to allow himself to completely and irrevocably trust his three soulmates. When it had been so flippantly offered to Jack, he hadn't cared as much. He hadn't ever thought that he would make it this far on the checklist he'd created in his subconscious mind as a teenager.

It had been simple, really. After the new girl in his English class had shied away from him upon learning of his autism, he had begun making his mental checklist. Most people made bucket lists, or to-do lists of their five-year plan, or a list of future baby names, or a list of cars they wanted most, or a list of things that had to be there at their wedding or some other large life event. He, however, made a list of things someone had to do or how to act or what to say before he would open himself up to them and make himself vulnerable to be hurt once more. It had never become a tangible thing like most peoples' lists, but rather it was the thoughts of "someone has to do 'this' before I'd trust them". And it had all been hypothetical, another way of coping, because he hadn't ever thought he'd make it through even half of his checklist.

Must tell me they love me.

That one was probably the easiest one. People blurted that all the time in the throes of passion and then never saw him again, so he wouldn't have given it a second thought except that he knew it was important for someone to care about the other person if they were to be trusted. An indifferent person wouldn't care about keeping someone's secrets, because they have no relationship to uphold should they blurt it out.

Hence the addendum.

Must tell me without the influence of carnal pleasure.

No one really said things like that without the influence of sexual pleasure. Outside of sex was when people's defenses were up, when they were more nervous about saying the wrong thing. So if someone was saying something like that – something so personal – when they weren't having sex, then they either meant it or they really wanted something from him.

All three of his soulmates had told him they loved him more than once, and it didn't seem difficult for them, either. They would throw the words out casually, during playful moments and quiet moments alike. They had all wanted a relationship with their soulmates for so long that when they met them all, it was just another extension of their vocabulary.

But Danny still wondered if they really meant it.

I must also love them.

That one was in the realm of being in the more difficult items on his list. He didn't love easily. But when he did, he loved fiercely. He had a greater capacity for love than most people, likely because he knew exactly how it felt not to have it, but the problem was being able to trust someone just enough that he could love them. And as much as he'd always tried telling himself otherwise, he'd loved the people whose Names were on his skin his entire life and with his entire being. He hadn't expected a return of that affection, and it had been that doubt that had him keeping his distance from the other three in the beginning.

But he did love the other three. Even if they'd dismissed him, he always would. He was only glad that they loved him in return – or at least professed that they did.

Must be alright with my personality – namely, the controlling bossiness.

People got pissed off with him because of his need for control all the time. When he'd been doing magic shows, he had cycled through several assistants because they couldn't handle it. He didn't want them to be submissive, per se – he didn't want to be an abusive partner. And he knew that someone without a spine would be a very bad match for him, because if he ever accidentally crossed a line, he wouldn't know it because they wouldn't stand up for themselves. No – he wanted someone who wasn't afraid of being their own person, but also wouldn't quit on him because he was an arrogant, controlling asshole. He got annoyed when someone talked back to him – of course he did. But he wasn't just going to dismiss their words because he thought he was better than them or knew better than them. He knew he wasn't, and he didn't – it was just the part where he'd have to admit he was wring that he'd always struggled with. He had grown up learning to show no vulnerability or weakness, and being wrong was something he saw as a failure. So if he was wrong, he'd prefer that someone told him so that it could be corrected before everyone noticed it. Even if he did act like an asshole to the person telling him.

The other three had as much as said that they didn't care about his bossy control issues. They didn't sweep it aside, spouting meaningless platitudes of how "no – you're not an asshole, you just think differently" or any other fallacious bullshit meant to reassure him but only serve to piss him off. He knew he was an asshole – everyone knew it. And he wasn't going to deal with any idiot who tried to deny it, especially to his face.

But they'd acknowledged it outright. And then said they didn't care – they still loved him. And wasn't that a novel idea?

Must know of my autism, but be able to look past the condition and to the person underneath.

That was the one item he'd never expected to be able to cross off. The most difficult by far, all the people he'd encountered who found out about his autism either felt some sort of misplaced sympathy or a discomfort that had them keeping their distance. They either wanted to help him where he needed no help, or they didn't know how to react to it and backed off to avoid making themselves uncomfortable. Even if they'd known him for some time before finding out, they immediately saw him differently when they found out about his autism, as though he was a different person now. He wasn't, but he'd given up long ago trying to convince people of that.

But, amazingly, all three of his soulmates still wanted him. They had seen him at his worst, and yet they still wanted a relationship with all four of them, and not just the other three. He had tried so hard to keep his autism a secret for so long, realizing that it was pushing them away but wanting them at least at a distance rather than not at all. After that night when they'd discovered his secret, he had expected to be treated at least a little bit differently…and yet he wasn't. Oh sure, there were the little things – watching him more often when he began stimming, or questions about what he would need or prefer from them if he ever came close to a sensory overload – but overall they were the same. They didn't treat him like he was delicate or made of glass, and they still had plenty of arguments when he was being too much of a dick during their planning. They truly did not seem to care.

Must still want to be with me after having sex.

To him, sex had always been just sex. Having sex with strangers he'd just met at his magic shows was pretty much his MO. Others would say he was a playboy or even just a whore, but he had never really seen the big deal in it. It wouldn't have even made it to his list were it not for his soulmates. He hadn't had sex with them yet. Usually he met someone when he was having sex with them, and if they happened to stick around for longer than a one-night stand, he would learn their name. But with the other three, it had been reversed. They were insistent on getting to know each other, and the sex came secondary.

This was the last item on his list. It was the last reason he could think of that would be why the other three wanted him. Because even with the rest of the list having had its requirements fulfilled, he didn't fully believe and trust that it wasn't just some ploy. And while he personally thought nothing of sex, he knew that other people did. Lots of people did. So with everything else checked off, all that was left was sex. He thought that maybe – surely – after they all slept together that they would grow apart. He would be pushed away, because he had been all used up.

It was the reason he'd resisted having sex for so long. He was certain that after that, it would be over – and he remembered Jack's words. His words about how he preferred a loving relationship for the rest of their lives over having sex with all of them whenever he wanted it…and he'd found himself agreeing. Because surely this was as good as it got, he reasoned. Surely they couldn't all love each other and have sex with each other. Surely that was impossible. And he'd rather have this wonderful feeling of love and belonging with the other three than he would having sex with them.

But they were in a celebratory mood now. They'd got Arthur Tressler on board as their benefactor, and they were that much closer to being able to pull this off. When Henley had hung up the phone, she'd pounced on Jack, as he was the closest, and it had escalated from there with Merritt going over to join them. Jack had been the one to pull Danny over to the three of them, attacking his lips with fervor.

"Want you," Jack moaned breathily against his neck while he fumbled with Danny's shirt. Then Danny felt Merritt press up behind him, pressing his lips to Danny's now bare shoulder and working to undo his belt buckle. Danny's vision spun with his arousal, and he saw Henley now behind Jack, undoing the younger man's shirt buttons from behind.

He was standing on the precipice now, hovering uncertainly on the edge as he decided whether or not to jump. His list ran through his head, all of the perfect, even little checkmarks he'd been keeping track of, and he made his decision. They'd given him every reason to trust. All he needed to do was return the favor, and hope that he wouldn't hurt himself in doing so.

And so, he jumped off that edge, swirling dizzily in his freefall into the unknown, waiting to see if he was right in putting his trust in them.

And, just as he'd hoped – just as he'd expected – they caught him.

...

Nice little character study there for Danny. Next chapter, we skip ahead to Las Vegas!

Thanks for reading!

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